Diabetic son will not stop eating high sugar and high carbs

[piperlou]

Hi,

I am getting to the end of my tether with my 14 year old son.

He is now at an age where he is more independent and goes out more regularly with his friends. He has a real reluctance to test his sugars even though his mates are all fine with it and he says he isn't embarrassed he just forgets. Well, I can understand this to a point, but he then proceeds to have either a bag of chips, McDonalds, Pizza Hut, whatever he can get his hands on even though he has a perfectly good home cooked meal at home and knows full well he shouldn't be having all this rubbish food.

Tonight I got engaged into another 'lecture' at him because he went out and all he had to eat was a Mars Bar, then came home and started to cut himself a piece of cake covered in butter icing. I said no, unless his sugars were ok and when he did them they were at 17.6! Needless to say he didn't have any cake but I was met with a very stroppy lad having a go at me because I was lecturing him.

He has been experiencing numbness in his feet and his DSN & doctor have both tried to talk to him and explain the damage he is doing but it doesn't go in.


I really don't know what to do with him...his hba1c was 9.3 on his last visit and he is getting worse at controlling it even though he has had it since the age of 6. Hopefully there are some parents out there who were in the same boat and have come through the other side who can advise!

Ta Julie

[Jen&Khaleb]

I'm not a lot of help to you but you are not alone. It seems that many teens do the same and my non-diabetic teen is hopeless to even remember to clean his teeth. Anyway, maybe worry less about what he's eating and convince him take the right amount of insulin to cover it. It is best to pick your battles with teens rather than turn into a nag of a mother. Negotiate with him to get what you both want. Explaining the damage he is doing to himself might only make him hate diabetes even more. Hope you get lots of ideas to get him to take better care of himself. He wont believe how much better he feels with good blood sugar and could also be less irritable and moody. Good luck!!

[AshMiller85]

Hello.

I was diagnosed 5 years ago at the age of 21 , and can totally see where he is going. I was just the same , I was out drinking most nights with friends , not worrying about my sugar levels and eating general rubbish , kebabs on the way home , slices of cake etc. I'm not 26 , and its taken a little bit of growing up until I have realised what I'm doing to myself. Just by watching how other diabetics turn out , has kind of scared me , watching older people being pushed about in wheelchairs because they have not controlled there diabetes. Have any of his friends got diabetes ? It may be worth while trying to get a family friend that has diabetes , or somebody he is familiar with that has it to try talking to him. Fingers crossed you get it sorted , for both of your sakes

[ams162]

i was going to suggest the same as jen that maybe instead of saying he cant have it say u can have it but use insulin to cover it ,my son is only 9 but when i used to say no he used to sneak food now he has a pump so he can have treats but he knows he has to cover it there are times when its still a no but he understands i say no for a reason however he is not teenager lol.

i hope u can sort this soon for ur sake as well as ur sons

good luck

anna marie

[donnellysdogs]

Sorry to hear that your teenage son is in a non caring phase ref his diabetes...

Are you insistent at home that he tests before every meal and every snack, going to bed and getting up? Are you at home enough to insist upon this? I know it won't help when he goes and does his own thing outside, but at least inside the home you are getting him to test more. I think once he knows that insistence is there, he may well do it off his own back-just to stop you 'nagging' him to do it.

I know that unfortunately it is coming up to school holidays soon, when he will probably be out and about even more...but are you going to be able to get away for a holiday where perhaps you could insist he tests more whilst in your company?

I was a rebellious teenager-but not diabetic at the time..and I wasn't a horrendous one, just that I do remember thinking 'I will have to give in to my Mum and Dad to get them off my back' for a few things...

I believe that boys and men are less talkative on some subjects than us females are, and they pick up on hearing certain things more than other things. I know that DSN's and Consultants are finding it tough to get through to him, but will he actually sit down and have a good one to one with his Mum? Having helped a young boy through some huge problems (6 at the time, through to age 10 when he started to behave better) I found that he would listen to me better as a friend than his Mum (even though his Mum and I were the same age etc). I just took the time to sit on his bed with him for hours talking, when he was absolutely horrific and screaming on the floor, I got down and did the same...I also talked to his Mum about things he couldn't talk to her about for him....
I know your son is older but will he talk to you on a personal level or does he shy away from things like that?

I really do not envy parents, having been a close confidant to some children of friends and what the children used to tell me, made me realise how difficult it is for parents...

Don't know what you have tried at home to try and encourage your son, it may be that you will have to print off Lloyds Amputee LImbs picture and hang it in the toilet!!!!!as a last resort...but there will be a way to encourage son, it may even be enlisting a friend of his, if they are willing and understand implications and to help your son.

There will be a way....

[Tracey69]

Hi
Sorry to hear your son is rebelling at this present moment.
I was also diagnosed at the age of 6years old, i had previously had mumps which the doctors thought bought on the diabetes. But i starting being rebeelious age the age of 8yrs old when my parents split up. I spent 9 months living in the hospital eventually, I would be picked up by my stepfather for scholl and taken back at the end of school. When i was 10yrs I was placed in a Home for Diabetic children in Chiswick, but unfortunately it's not there now.
I went through the same thing as your son, but more with pepsi cola( full sugar) and still the occassional one.
But i would counter act by upping my insulin which is not always the answer, but because of my abuse with the diabetes Both the back of my eyes are fully lazered. i have diabetic macular oedema ( the macular swells making vision very blurred) but have now lost the sight in my left eye ( i can tell light and daek), I have diabetic neurophy, the lining of my kidneys are damaged.
The last five years i have just got it all under some control.
I don't want to scare any one but i think youths should be told of the problems that can occur if you don't control the sugar levels. I am looking at trying to do some volunteering to do work children and youths with diabetes, the oonly thing is i have no experience to do with insulin pumps, which i am looking into.
I hope you and your son get on well through this stage.
take care tracey69

[piperlou]

Thanks for the replies. I was half expecting a tirade of answers telling me that I was his mother and I am reponsible for what he does. But I have tried all sorts! I have threatened grounding and he tells me he will go out anyway and I can't stop him. I have removed everything from his room (tv, games, etc) and he will just sit around doing nothing or go out.

In reply to this:

Are you insistent at home that he tests before every meal and every snack, going to bed and getting up? Are you at home enough to insist upon this?
.....
Don't know what you have tried at home to try and encourage your son, it may be that you will have to print off Lloyds Amputee LImbs picture and hang it in the toilet!!!!!as a last resort...but there will be a way to encourage son, it may even be enlisting a friend of his, if they are willing and understand implications and to help your son.

I am and always have been insistent that he takes his tests. I have explained the potential danger he places himself in by not doing so! I am at home enough to monitor all of this because I start work after he leaves for school and return before he gets home. It makes no difference.

He will talk to us with no problems, we will quite often sit up chatting about his problems and he has previously attended CAMHS so he knows how to discuss things openly. He has said that he just forgets to do his sugars and that the rubbish food is because he hasn't really been hungry.

The pictures of amputees is a good idea. However, my husband has suggested seeing if the DSN has any contact with diabetic amputees that would be willing to talk to him. I really am fearful that he is going to end up wit some serious health problems, but at the moment with the lack of consequence he doesn't see that there is a problem!

[donnellysdogs]

I actually got introduced to people with amputations 25 years ago by my DSN then. My friend also had her leg amputated-hers wasn't through diabetes though, but it was through a disease rather than amputation.

I thought I might have got a horrified reaction by suggesting the picture in a toilet...

Perhaps an accuchek expert would help as they can have alarms set on them to go off as reminders...if he would be willing to take it with him. It also has some good reports on it that will show him how good or bad he is.....I saw somebody today at hospital that had been given an expert machine..but he hadn't looked at the reports....then when we were together chatting we went through the menu's together (my pump remote is basically the same)...when he looked he was horrified to realised that more than 80% were high and less than 20% were normal...and no lows etc.....he wasn't a teenager though....and been diabetic for longer than me!!!! (25 years+)

Didn't wish to sound awful when I said about putting up a poster...but I do agree that speaking and seeing somebody that has had an amputation may be a good thing for your son.....howeveer don't know how HCP's stand nowadays on using these sort of shock tactics that I was given.....I was also told I WILL get complications...but I haven't yet.

[catherinecherub]

Hi piperlou,

Not a Type 1 myself but have often read here about teenagers and their attitude towards their diabetes.

There was a programme on Channel4, the Hospital. It is too late to view it again but there are lots of comments and a clip on the website. Teenagers on the programme mostly found diabetes management a chore even though they knew the consequences. Type 1's and Type2's took part. I really don't know what the answer is.

I have put a link to it, it was discussed here on the forum.


http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the- ... /episode-4

[donnellysdogs]

There was an article on BBC news tonight on the 24 hour one about diabetics not giving a damn when they are younger.....might be worthwhile your son seeing this....

[leggott]

Just an idea, but have you tried some sort of reward plan or bribery for want of a better word! I know my kids are much younger, but I offer money and DS games as a reward for good behaviour and doing their testing. I also try and encourage a bit of healthy competition between the two of them so when one gets a reward the other is keen to get one to!

[GrumpyAardvark]

Hi,

I think that there are two issues that you are fighting here, a desire on your son's part to eat food that is not entirely healthy and also him taking responsibility for his diabetes control.

Most teenage boys do get very hungry and also want to fit in with their peers on what they eat. It's isn't the end of the world if his diet is a bit high in fat and sugar for a few years, particularly if he also gets healthy food at home.

What really matters is that he covers the carbohydrate (be it good or bad carbs) with insulin. Has he done a DAFNE course or equivalent? This would mean on the day he wanted the cake he could have had the cake and given himself an injection to cover the carbs and a correction dose of rapid acting insulin to get that high reading down (with the proviso that if he is constantly running high then it could mean that his background dose needs looking at rather than continually correcting with rapid). A pump might provide even more flexibility.

Taking away the battle about what he eats for a while might help ease things a little. Not that I'm much of an expert on teen psychology I'm afraid.

[day007]

Hi, can I please encourage you NOT to put a picture of an amputee in he bathroom, I can completely understand how your son is feeling and that is just going to **** him off even more! And that's only going to make him less likely to listen to you.

I think the suggestion of saying he CAN have pretty much whatever he wants to eat but to cover it with the insulin is the right way to look at it - I went on a DAFNE course and that is the exact point of it, you can eat what you want (ok, so maybe not JUST a mars bar for dinner, but pizza and a mars bar yes!) also I don't see what the problem with 'chips McDonals and Pizza Hut' is from a Diabetes POV - none of these are particularly high GI. They are not healthy options, but that's what his friends are eating and it's not a diabetes-specific problem so that does just sound like you're trying to be more controlling and getting him to come home for dinner when he'd rather be out with his friends!

[josie38]

Hi piperlou,

I hear how frustrating this is for you. A friend of mine had a similar problem with her teenager who completely rebelled against the diabetes control. What worked for her was she let her go out with her friends and she could eat what she wnated when she was out. Then when her daughter got home she did some testing and if high she made her inject. By not going on about her diabetes and not wanting to inject everytime she had been out my friends daughter found that there was nothing to rebel against and later told her DSN that sometimes she had felt hypo whilst out with her friends. So she had eaten things that she knew would help her hypo. Im not saying it would work for you but it worked for her.

I know it is a difficult time when they are teenagers.......keep talking to him and, fingers crossed, the phase passes.

Then you only have to worry about pubbing and clubbing when he is older

Josie

[donnellysdogs]

But how do you get a teenager to bolus accordingly and to do the bood tests....I quite see day007's reasoning but OPis finding it difficult to get son just to do this.....