Death Becomes Her

[Diabeticliberty]

I took my dear old granny to one of those special fish spa centres where the fish gnaw away at your dead flesh. It only cost me sixty quid. A real bargain. So much cheaper than having her cremated.

 

[therower]

@Diabeticliberty . That's bad........ but as usual I'm chuckling yet again.

 

[Pura Vida]

Recently ate at a restaurant where a table of girlfriends of a certain age were having a wonderful time, and came home and wrote this.

You may recognize somebody, maybe yourself ...


Lunch With Girlfriends

By Kathy O’Malley


Elaine’s vertigo has never been worse

Kay can’t recall where she left her purse

Rhonda’s about to replace her knees

Linda’s breathing is tinged with a wheeze

Donna's left boob has a troublesome lump

Diane’s on her third trip to take a dump

Lorraine’s husband can’t remember a thing

Nine years a widow, Marge still wears her ring

Marlene is dealing with another UTI

Sally’s giving a hearing aid another try

Marie has decided she can’t drive at night

Sharon still wears clothes two sizes too tight

They’ve been through divorces and babies and wakes

They do for each other whatever it takes

They’ve already buried Marcia and Kate

And truthfully, Lizzie’s not looking so great

So whenever they can, they get out to eat

Open bottles of wine and forget their sore feet

There’s laughing and crying and letting down guards

And when the bill comes, there’s ten credit cards

So here’s to the waiters who keep orders straight

And to the places that let lunches run three hours late

And here’s to the girlfriends, those near and those far

Here's to the girlfriends, you know who you are