depression,

donnellysdogs

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Kevo

Perhaps try and see if your vit d level is low.

I have had bad depression, (but not through complications), like you life can also throw s**t in the way. Was on medication on and off for probably a decade.

However, vit d for me has improved my levels of enjoyment hugely. Even though I'm outdoors all day I did not get enough vit d.

Life is hugely difficult with things that happen, but as you can see from my signature it can be turned around.

I was also the opposite to you, where I allowed my diabetes to rule my life for a while...and that caused me a great amount of angst. I also turned my attention towards helping others..eg I am involved with my gp practice and our locality groups and more to try and improve things for other patients. I got myself some really good hobbies that I love and I moved house too.

Depression is awful. It isn't just feeling down.. It is a serious disease. However, I would suggest that you get your vitamin d level checked out, as this may be lacking. I call it a sunshine drug, as it is mostly gained from sunshine.. However in tablet form it certainly cast the clouds out of my head and sky....




Loving life
 
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donnellysdogs

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After my dad died, my Mum (who had been admitted to hospital for pschiatric care a couple of time for ect's on her head) said to me "if I get asked to go out, I'll go because people will only ask you once.." And also "if you smile the whole world smiles with you."

She learnt that nobody wants to be with someone that is full of doom and gloom.

For my mum that was a huge step and she went on to be with my stepdad within 6 months.

She still gets depressed, but she only needs to be reminded of what she said to me and its like a kick up the bum to her.

My mum is in the latter half of seven decades.

At times of depression it can be **** hard to turn thoughts around.. But it can be done taking small steps at a time. First thing to do is to accept whats done is done.. You'll never get that time back... However the future can be better than you think if you allow it to...


Loving life
 

Jaylee

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@kevo ,

I see two positives in this thread you have started..

You have a roof over your head
You also have two small kids from your marriage..

So, In furthering your own punishment you deprive your kids of a dad...

In my case it could have been a father of his son..?

Let me briefly tell you the end of my woes carrying on from my first post....
While I was sitting wondering how I'd screwed up so bad & turning myself into concrete turmoil.
My own father an elderly type2 diabetic had also had a "mini stroke" loosing the left hand side of his arm.. He couldn't drive leaving him & my mum somewhat immobile regarding the daily logistics of housekeeping ect..
That's when I realised both my parents deserved dignity & needed help.. My father eventually developed dementia, but he was still my dad..
So I did what a son would do...When the time came to let my dad go, I made decisions that the rest of my family were too "emotional" to make, & allow my father his own choice regarding where & how he took final breath..

Don't ever cut yourself off from family. You can provide strength in what you think is a weakness...
 
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claymic

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I have suffered from depression. Still do but a0 the minute its not too bad. I am struggling though not to let my thoughts run away with me. Also trying not to fall in despair and self hatred. Not sure how long I can be strong for. Been on insulin 11days and have put on 10lbs. I hate my diabetes.

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Jaylee

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I have suffered from depression. Still do but a0 the minute its not too bad. I am struggling though not to let my thoughts run away with me. Also trying not to fall in despair and self hatred. Not sure how long I can be strong for. Been on insulin 11days and have put on 10lbs. I hate my diabetes.

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That's the irony with me.. I've been T1 for 38 years. I could get "shot down" by a lot of things....
But the Diabetes is not fundamentally at the core. Neither is my marriage!
 

sunspots

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I am so impressed by your spirit. You have taken steps to engage with people here so I'm sure you have the guts to do it at home. Maybe you could draw strength and gather ideas from us and then take the plunge to seek more involvement with help or with other people around you. I know it is hard, I really do know it is hard, but you've clearly got a bit of fight in you there. Impressive!
 
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kevo

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I think i have suffered with depresion all my life no suprise growing up with out a mother not understanding why she left me at 6 weeks old growing up in care just never realized it and was never diagnosed now i look back at my life and see all the mistakes ive made and why it happened but all that dont help now never got over the shock of being diabetic then that bloody stroke and losing my left field of vision already suffering from sever back injury fron accident in bosnia given ill health retirement so got bored snf of course aftet the stroke thiught my life was over never whent out of the house alone for 18 months was sinking deeper in to Depression but could not see it now its all to late must accept ive lost my wife and kids and will die here alone i cant stand being alone and as i live in a small rural village not a lot to do but stay at home watch tv and drink have thought about seeing my gp but embaressed and fo i realy want to take any more tablets oh well any way thank you all for your support nice to no im not alone


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AndBreathe

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@kevo - in terms of depression, as a serviceman, you will not be alone. Sadly, service people have a fair incidence of these issues. I'm sure there could be some support available? SSAFA perhaps? Your regimental Families Officer? I do appreciate these days much of your medical care is shared with the German system. Where are you based?

I do hope you find a way forward kevo. Life is sometimes tough enough, without adding depression to the mix.
 

Pipp

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@kevo
You are not alone, that is correct.

However, as supportive as we are on this forum, we are not the best people to help with depression.
It is nothing to be embarrassed about, you have had a tough time, and are still going through ongoing impairment.

Please consider the suggestion to contact SSAFA. They do have support in Germany for veterans. Your situation will not be unique, and the help from them will be relevant to your situation by people who understand. It only needs an email from you. You know it makes sense.

Keep posting here too @kevo , let us know how you are getting on.