Overeating - tried CBT?

[Kat100]

Thanks. I've not been to a diabetic clinic before so I don't really know what to expect or who will be there...or how much I can request etc. I don't know, how agreeable are they usually?

Hope they put all your needs first Louise ....x

 

[Loobles]

Well last week was absolutely **** food-wise with no balance what so ever. I think I must have had 3 binge days (a recent record) and 4 not eating days. Not had one that bad in a long time. Ended up sobbing my heart out most days with the frustration of being tortured by thoughts of food all the time. Luckily my employer approved the additional CBT sessions so we can carry on working on this. I've been given a self guided eating disorder programme to do now so I'm hoping I see some benefit from that ASAP. Day 1 went well but day 2 (today) wasn't quite as good, with everything I ate just seemed to multiply in my mouth and I just didn't want to eat any of it. Ugh! I'm fed up of fighting with myself over food. For goodness sake I'm nearly flipping 40, why am I still fighting with myself and food all the time. Anyone else struggling with this?

 

[jack412]

Well last week was absolutely **** food-wise with no balance what so ever. I think I must have had 3 binge days (a recent record) and 4 not eating days. Not had one that bad in a long time. Ended up sobbing my heart out most days with the frustration of being tortured by thoughts of food all the time. Luckily my employer approved the additional CBT sessions so we can carry on working on this. I've been given a self guided eating disorder programme to do now so I'm hoping I see some benefit from that ASAP. Day 1 went well but day 2 (today) wasn't quite as good, with everything I ate just seemed to multiply in my mouth and I just didn't want to eat any of it. Ugh! I'm fed up of fighting with myself over food. For goodness sake I'm nearly flipping 40, why am I still fighting with myself and food all the time. Anyone else struggling with this?

I had a binge like stuff but I didn't have the fast
have you checked that it's not carb craving?
http://lowcarbdiets.about.com/od/lowcarbliving/a/Food-Cravings.htm

I would be tempted to go LCHF for a month or so and see if that reduces stuff
http://www.dietdoctor.com/lchf

 

[Loobles]

I had a binge like stuff but I didn't have the fast
have you checked that it's not carb craving?
http://lowcarbdiets.about.com/od/lowcarbliving/a/Food-Cravings.htm

I would be tempted to go LCHF for a month or so and see if that reduces stuff
http://www.dietdoctor.com/lchf

I do do LCHF and it has helped with the genuine cravings which has improved the binge eating, but it does nothing for the head cravings. I can tell the difference between them as my genuine cravings are more easily satisfied by the head ones aren't. Normally I'll have maybe one day a week where I don't eat but not had four in a week before. It feels like balance was a million miles away last week.

 

[Loobles]

Oh really pleased your employer is funding this for you @Loobles
Don't worry about the bad few days, we all have those, you'll straighten up and get back in the saddle when you're ready especially now the uncertainty of funding is sorted.
The most important thing you can do for yourself is to STOP beating yourself up when you slip up.

I don't know if I'm beating myself up so much as just feeling so unbelievably frustrated with it all. I mean the body is willing but the head just says no way. Fingers crossed for a better week this week!

 

[AndBreathe]

Leave last week behind Loobles. You can't change a millisecond of it.

 

[jack412]

I don't know if I'm beating myself up so much as just feeling so unbelievably frustrated with it all. I mean the body is willing but the head just says no way. Fingers crossed for a better week this week!

stop counting and just one meal at a time?
easier said than done I know

 

[Brunneria]

@Loobles

Don't worry. This feeling off balance is a natural part of the process. It will pass. Just carry on going to your sessions, and let it happen.

You've had decades of being off balance with your eating. Decades of enacting behaviour that was (originally and incorrectly) designed to make you feel better.

And now you are rocking that dysfunctional boat. It will rock wildly for a bit, but once it settles, it will be on a more even keel.

Remember how she said to trust the process? This is when you need to.

Hug.

 

[AndBreathe]

@Loobles

Don't worry. This feeling off balance is a natural part of the process. It will pass. Just carry on going to your sessions, and let it happen.

You've had decades of being off balance with your eating. Decades of enacting behaviour that was (originally and incorrectly) designed to make you feel better.

And now you are rocking that dysfunctional boat. It will rock wildly for a bit, but once it settles, it will be on a more even keel.

Remember how she said to trust the process? This is when you need to.

Hug.

Another post I'd like to like multiple times.

 

[Lesleywo]

Hi Louise, are you saying that you are either bingeing some days and not eating at all others?

 

[Loobles]

Hi Louise, are you saying that you are either bingeing some days and not eating at all others?

Yes and as much as I know I need to stop that, it feels like it's got a million times worse last week (for some inexplicable reason). Had a good sleep last night and although I have no idea why last week was so horrible, I am trusting in the process (@Brunneria) and hoping that it's just a blip, or getting a bit worse before getting better. I hae a bunch of home work to do from this weeks therapy session so that at least gets me further along with the process. Not giving in...just felt like I'd completely run out of energy last night and couldn't see the wood for the trees.

Thanks EVERYONE for your help, because sometimes this journey feels a bit lonely.

 

[Lesleywo]

It could be largely because you're restricting on the starve days, making you binge on the other days. Try the little and often approach, keep to the lower carb diet ....God knows I know it's hard but I think the starving days are just adding fuel to the fire. As you know I've been trapped in a similar cycle a good part of my life and 'abstinence' is my only saviour. Hang in there old friend xx

 

[AndBreathe]

Yes and as much as I know I need to stop that, it feels like it's got a million times worse last week (for some inexplicable reason). Had a good sleep last night and although I have no idea why last week was so horrible, I am trusting in the process (@Brunneria) and hoping that it's just a blip, or getting a bit worse before getting better. I hae a bunch of home work to do from this weeks therapy session so that at least gets me further along with the process. Not giving in...just felt like I'd completely run out of energy last night and couldn't see the wood for the trees.

Thanks EVERYONE for your help, because sometimes this journey feels a bit lonely.

You're sounding more like yourself this morning.

I think that whatever behaviour/habit/addiction/activity we are consciously changing, human nature is to challenge that change and rebel against that change somewhere along the way. For most people, deep down, no change is so much easier than change. Comfort zones get smaller or disappear. Familiar relationships change, and unknowns come to life's party. So, I think sometimes our psyche almost goes into a "use it before I have to lose it" state? Almost like getting it all our of the way.

So.many of my pieces of work have involved often quite radical change at their heart, and I always have to really mentally get myself in the impenetrable zone before I start, or I could become derailed along with those people (and "things"/systems/processes or policies) I need to change.

I've always found Change Management fascinating, and that's sort of how I approached Project Diabetes. The big difference on that one was that I was formulating the plan, and having to undergo the sometimes challenging change. All good fun.





On a good day.

 

[Loobles]

It could be largely because you're restricting on the starve days, making you binge on the other days. Try the little and often approach, keep to the lower carb diet ....God knows I know it's hard but I think the starving days are just adding fuel to the fire. As you know I've been trapped in a similar cycle a good part of my life and 'abstinence' is my only saviour. Hang in there old friend xx

I know, I know...it all makes perfect sense...logically and when my head is rational. Saturday I ate the 3 meals and snacks that are in my plan and I didnt enjoy any of it, I think that was the catalyst for yesterday's outburst. I think somewhere there was an inner child saying "make me" or "no I'm not doing it". I odn't know, I think the rebel came out to play. Everything I ate yesterday just felt like it was multiplying in my mouth, there was zero enjoyment, it felt like a chore, I didn't want to be eating it and begrudged eating it and because every meal had felt like this I finally reached the meltdown stage. By dinner last night, I was so fed up of fighting with myself (and tired of it) that I just gave up the fight and it seemed easier not to eat. I did finally give in and have a piece of toast and a mini Babybel though. Today WILL be better...

 

[Loobles]

Well it feels like we're finally getting somewhere with the eating thing. I can see improvements in some areas (only 1 binge last week) and i definitely have more balanced days now. I have seen some deterioration in terms of not eating (was maybe 1 day a week but got yo about 3 days). It just seemed too much mental effort to think about food some days and not eating was just easier somehow. I've been told it's quite normal for this to happen and to trust in the process. The last couple of weeks have been terrible in terms of anxiety, presumably because i'm no longer soothing myself with food. Some days i've been like a screaming banshee but i'm told it gets better. I hope so because i can't feel like this forever. Therapist has given me some ideas for coping strategies so i'm going to try those out. In short, it'd been horrible but i feel positive that changes are starting to happen.

 

[jack412]

well done girl, there is light at the end of the tunnel

 

[Scandichic]

I get cravings when I'm hungry. I rectify this by having a piece of cheese. You talk about LCHF but mention toast. Why don't you get rid of starchy carbs from the house, plan your meals for the week and buy the food for your meals? Then you would only have that food in! I buy snack food (cheese, nuts and a bit of dark choccie) which I eat if I fancy nibbles. I'm not saying that you must eat lchf or do what I do. Just thinking out loud! I also make a list of everything we need which can be frozen or can go in the cupboard and go on line and check the offers so I do a round trip to Asda and Sainsbury's and save a load of money. Hope this helps. Big hugs.

 

[AndBreathe]

Well it feels like we're finally getting somewhere with the eating thing. I can see improvements in some areas (only 1 binge last week) and i definitely have more balanced days now. I have seen some deterioration in terms of not eating (was maybe 1 day a week but got yo about 3 days). It just seemed too much mental effort to think about food some days and not eating was just easier somehow. I've been told it's quite normal for this to happen and to trust in the process. The last couple of weeks have been terrible in terms of anxiety, presumably because i'm no longer soothing myself with food. Some days i've been like a screaming banshee but i'm told it gets better. I hope so because i can't feel like this forever. Therapist has given me some ideas for coping strategies so i'm going to try those out. In short, it'd been horrible but i feel positive that changes are starting to happen.

If what you are trying to achieve was easy, you'd have done it eons ago, so don't be too hard on yourself. Celebrate the progress and accept the setbacks. After all, the setbacks, and how you feel about them, show you really want to progress.

 

[Loobles]

I get cravings when I'm hungry. I rectify this by having a piece of cheese. You talk about LCHF but mention toast. Why don't you get rid of starchy carbs from the house, plan your meals for the week and buy the food for your meals? Then you would only have that food in! I buy snack food (cheese, nuts and a bit of dark choccie) which I eat if I fancy nibbles. I'm not saying that you must eat lchf or do what I do. Just thinking out loud! I also make a list of everything we need which can be frozen or can go in the cupboard and go on line and check the offers so I do a round trip to Asda and Sainsbury's and save a load of money. Hope this helps. Big hugs.

I eat up to 60-90g carbs a day, so I'm quite happy to have a piece of toast really. I don't have it every day and luckily I don't see it as a binge food any more, so it seems to work out ok having it in the house. I buy the lower carb bread anyway. I understand what you're saying though and I'm not saying you're wrong, just that I think it's working out ok having the occasional slice and my BG seems ok afterwards, so long as it's only 1 slice.

 

[Loobles]

If what you are trying to achieve was easy, you'd have done it eons ago, so don't be too hard on yourself. Celebrate the progress and accept the setbacks. After all, the setbacks, and how you feel about them, show you really want to progress.

Yes, I really, really do want to change! I am so glad I pushed the whole "I know my thinking is wrong and I don't just need another diet" thing, because the psychological help is proving really helpful. I wished I'd pushed it earlier now though! However, it's awful, I don't like it and I'm not enjoying food, it's just...well...horrible. I can't imagine ever being any different and quite honestly, even though I hate my relationship with food, it's all I know and it feels safe. I'm kind of scared about the unknown if I'm honest.