Living with a partner with uncontrolled type 2 diabetes

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donnellysdogs

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13,233
Type of diabetes
Type 1
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Pump
Dislikes
People that can't listen to other people's opinions.
People that can't say sorry.
Love the edited title too!!
 
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Enclave

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2,602
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Type 2 (in remission!)
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Diet only
Wonderful butterfly :)
 
G

graj0

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@donnellysdogs @Enclave @graj0 ....Just testing how to upload pictures of butterflies....very tired so will have to do more later but hope this one works for now...:)
What a brilliant shot, hidden talents obviously, well beyond tons of patience. All the best Molly. BTW I wouldn't normally make such a comment, but deliberately eating loads a carbs after a gentle reminder is called "CHILDISH". Sorry for any offense caused. I think I can speak for several other forum members if I say that we care more about you and your health than . . . . . . . . . I think you know what I mean. Take good care of yourself.
 
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Molly56

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3,844
Type of diabetes
Don't have diabetes
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I do not have diabetes
What a brilliant shot, hidden talents obviously, well beyond tons of patience. All the best Molly. BTW I wouldn't normally make such a comment, but deliberately eating loads a carbs after a gentle reminder is called "CHILDISH". Sorry for any offense caused. I think I can speak for several other forum members if I say that we care more about you and your health than . . . . . . . . . I think you know what I mean. Take good care of yourself.
@graj0 ...no offence taken and I agree with your sentiments entirely about his attitude....was not in the mood to cause a scene and also mindful that we had about a 9 hour flight to get home the next day so just bit my tongue and said nothing...
Anyway, thank you for your kind words and am doing what you suggested...:)....have got some more butterfly pictures to download from my camera so will have a few more to share when I get round to it..:)
 
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donnellysdogs

Master
Messages
13,233
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Dislikes
People that can't listen to other people's opinions.
People that can't say sorry.
Just look after yourself Molly56. Carers are very important in this world. Immense support to people that are or are not appreciative. So important that you take care.
 

Molly56

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3,844
Type of diabetes
Don't have diabetes
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I do not have diabetes
Butterfly pictures from holiday as promised.....technically the first one is a moth!

IMG_0990.JPG IMG_1007.JPG IMG_1009.JPG SANY3933.JPG SANY3949.JPG SANY3966.JPG IMG_1014.JPG


@donnellysdogs @graj0 @Enclave @pavlosn @connie104 @Scimama @this is too difficult two
 
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Enclave

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Messages
2,602
Type of diabetes
Type 2 (in remission!)
Treatment type
Diet only
Fabulous photos .. Love moths .. And butterfly's, but moths are just awsome
 

Molly56

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3,844
Type of diabetes
Don't have diabetes
Treatment type
I do not have diabetes
Fabulous photos .. Love moths .. And butterfly's, but moths are just awsome
@Enclave ....Was fortunate to see the moth as evidently it only lives for about five days.....was there on our first visit and when i went back for a return visit a few days later it had gone...:(
....evidently the markings on the wing tips have evolved to look like cobras heads...and the clear looking patches are transparent....was just stunning..
 

Molly56

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Type of diabetes
Don't have diabetes
Treatment type
I do not have diabetes
Just look after yourself Molly56. Carers are very important in this world. Immense support to people that are or are not appreciative. So important that you take care.
@donnellysdogs ...thank you:)...am looking out for myself as no-one else will...

As expected on return from holiday things have reverted back to the pre holiday mode....spent most of yesterday evening and most of today on my own / doing my own thing as he has been in bed..:(.he went to bed straight after dinner last night (saying he had a pain in his side - no idea what this is or if diabetes related!) and has spent the majority of today in bed apart from a couple of hours over lunchtime.....frankly I can't be bothered by this at the moment so have left him there....

Will have to see what the outcome is of his initial appointment with the pain clinic tomorrow afternoon but am not expecting any real change from where we are now.

On a positive note and just to prove that you can eat healthily when away on holiday I weighed myself when I got home and found that I virtually weighed the same as when I went away...I may have gained 1lb...:)....the secret was using smaller plates at breakfast and lunchtimes, careful selection of foods (more salads / fruit) and resisting the temptation to have too many of the desserts on offer (one or two small desserts plus fruit)....plus some activity even if it was just a gentle stroll along the beach and back.....so just proves it can be done!!....is a pity that someone else didn't benefit from this but at least i can say from my point of view I am pleased with the outcome on my weight /health :)....

Hope you have seen the pictures of the butterflies...am quite proud of how they came out as I am not a photographer and just took pot luck with my camera and ipad when taking them......will use these as my lasting memory of the holiday rather than dwelling on the negative aspects that occurred....

Will concentrate on looking after myself for a while and just let him get on with it.....:)
 

alliebee

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Molly I absolutely love your photos...I've just read your thread and want very much to send you hugs ....please look after yourself. I feel very much for you truly I do...I think your partner has no idea how lucky he is to have you.
 
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Enclave

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2,602
Type of diabetes
Type 2 (in remission!)
Treatment type
Diet only
@Enclave ....Was fortunate to see the moth as evidently it only lives for about five days.....was there on our first visit and when i went back for a return visit a few days later it had gone...:(
....evidently the markings on the wing tips have evolved to look like cobras heads...and the clear looking patches are transparent....was just stunning..
Stunning .. So luckie you was there to capture its image .. You have made it immortail now ...
 
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Scouser58

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Messages
400
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Non-insulin injectable medication (incretin mimetics)
Hello Molly56, long time no speak! Have just read some of your posts and replies and the details of your holiday, what a shame him in doors was so tough on everything food like.
Well I hope you enjoyed all the things you visited, and you butterfly photos were stunning, new hobby in the making? There is somewhere not too far away that you can go to, to see butterflies, visit in the making? How is your tan? and how was the food? Molly was the holiday all you looked forward too?
Now about him in doors, long time T2, still not care or interest in looking after himself, so now is the best time to step back, with a BIG STEP, and care for yourself, you have earned the right to look out for you, first and foremost.
I wish I had caught up with your posts while you were away, sooner than I have, but everybody seems to have kept your spirits up and your concerns in prospective, just as they always do.

His love of bananas is slightly helpful, they contain potassium which is good in small amounts.
I like bananas, but only when they are still green, as they are lower in sugar, than when they turn yellow and the sugar content goes up as they go yellow'r in colour.

Molly I read that some other members have suggested that he is sent on his way, I agree with them. The stress on you must be massive, and you need to rest and step back, you must look to your own health and well being, being a caring person is very tiring on the mind, body and spirit.
Looking forward to hearing from you again soon, ttfn
 

Scouser58

Well-Known Member
Messages
400
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Non-insulin injectable medication (incretin mimetics)
@Molly56

If OH was diabetic before you met him and for quite a while and hasn't taken any notice of you, well, to be honest you are wasting your breadth and your kindness and caring emotions on him.

The thing that particularly worries me is the excessive wee. Pre diagnosis that can be normal, along with eyes blurring, some lose weight etc... After diagnosis and meds the excessive weeing should stop, however because he is in denial he is now effectively killing his kidneys off.

Got to ask.. Have you actually asked OH whether "he wants to die a horrible death from diabetic complications?", or just asking him "what it will take for him to look after himself instead of you consistently worrying about him?"

I so hope, really hope that when you return home that something positive in his attitude will happen. I would so love to be proved wrong in my thinking on your OH?

Are you now a bronzed goddess walking through the butterflies? Have you been able to have the relaxation that you need?

After seeing my step sis this week fly over and see our parents after anal and stomach cancer and having a 3rd repair op when she goes home. It makes me just wonder how some people can find strength to keep fighting disease and yet your OH is headlong into self destruction.. It really concerns me that you are the one trying to fight his health battles.

However, Perhaps insulin is his only choice now?

I hope you have a safe journey home...
Hello donnellysdogs, I have read you comments about excess wee-ing, well I am in that phase at the moment and it is driving me mad. I am now thinking of going to the doctors, a task that don't like doing as they really get on my nerves, and I am not very patient at the moment.
What is the significance with the excess piddling, at this stage of the condition, I take medication for bladder 'weakness' and piddling myself daft!. Should I be worried about this happening, I am going to see the diabetic specialist doctor, next month, so will ask his opinion, or maybe I will leave the doctors and wait to see him, what do you think of this idea?
I also get the eye blurring, but struggling to lose weight, and I think the Victoza is not helping with it's keeping you full side line and slowing the food transit through the stomach. And oh boy does it slow the transit down, so slow senna and latulose is needed to get things moving.
I read you are T1 so the trials and tribulations of a T2 are far away from were you are, well thanks for listening, ttfn
 

pavlosn

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,705
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
@Scouser58

Please consider beginning a new thread with your question. That way you will receive more responses and there will be no risk of Molly's thread being taken of course.

Thanks

Pavlos
 
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Molly56

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3,844
Type of diabetes
Don't have diabetes
Treatment type
I do not have diabetes
And so a week after getting back from holiday and things have slipped back into a familiar pattern or routine....in fact today it seems it is worse than before we went away....it is now past 1.30 / nearly 2 o'clock in the afternoon and he has still not got up...
...this also means that he has not had his morning medication or anything to eat since last night...

So I guess people may wonder why I don't just go up and wake him up / get him up....am debating that question myself...I did ask him about an hour ago if he was getting up today and his answer was he couldn't get up or words to that effect....I guess my frustration kicked in so I just left him to get on with it and went to make lunch for one!...it shouldn't be up to me to get him up...he is an adult / he can do that himself / I am not his mother...

Am thinking what I can do myself this afternoon...have found a new sewing project that I can get on with so may well do that....it is a bit frustrating as it is the only day this week when I am not working and we could have gone out somewhere together but if he can't be bothered to make the effort and get up then I will just get on with my own thing...

Apologies for rant but just need to get it out......:sorry:.
...by the way, I have just taken his medication up so it is there when he eventually does get round to getting up...so I guess a care a little bit....
....now for my sewing project....:)
 

Enclave

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Messages
2,602
Type of diabetes
Type 2 (in remission!)
Treatment type
Diet only
Yes you do care for him .. More than you should, going by the way he seems to be avoiding you. Write a set of house rules on a wall .. Big letters so he cannot miss them .. Put the chores he should do the bs testing he should do and the food he can eat ... and the time he should get up by. Then at the end put how long you will give him to pack his bags if he is not going to sort himself out ....
If he is not going to try and make an effort .. Then let him go
 

alliebee

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I really feel for you...sadly men like this don't change. They do the bare miminum that they need into a relationship...he is relying on the fact you care about him...sadly he will go on pulling you lower and lower until you make yourself ill . I think you have some hard decisions ahead of you. This man doesn't deserve you.and you deserve far far more
 
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Enclave

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Messages
2,602
Type of diabetes
Type 2 (in remission!)
Treatment type
Diet only
I really feel for you...sadly men like this don't change. They do the bare miminum that they need into a relationship...he is relying on the fact you care about him...sadly he will go on pulling you lower and lower until you make yourself ill . I think you have some hard decisions ahead of you. This man doesn't deserve you.and you deserve far far more
I Aggree .. I am a man and know that my wife would not allow me to be like this .. I will .. given the chance use sleep to blot out things that stress me out .. But no chance to do that as the wife would pack a bag for me. But she just has to say ... If you love me you will do......:sorry: And I do whatever it is that needs doing .. :confused: It works in reverse as well .. :angelic:
 
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