Diabetes and your child's emotions - your experiences please!

[Hebe]

Hi
I think I've never really sat down and been told in detail what will happen.But I was aware that I take insulin for a reason and if there wasn't consequences of not taking it , I wouldn't take it.

My parents once used the "complications " argument. I had to tell them it's extremely hard to live you life a certain way now to prevent something later that you've never experienced and seems so far away.

The only way I could get my dad to understand this was comparing it to him smoking.He has smoked since he was 12 and he finds it hard to stop even though he will be at a greater risk of cancer.its inevitable but he is heathy now so .....

The emotional strain of diabetes is greater than many people think (not that I'd tell my parents that)and for parents and friends to understand is tricky,parents are not going to get it right all the time and I think a long as the child remembers there parents only nag because they care it will be easier.

Im most definitely not good at talking to my parents about diabetes and can honestly say it's one of the hardest things I have to do..I think the best way is when I bring it up and am ready and know it's coming.But to be honest I rarely talk about it to my parents and keep my levels good so I don't have to have that talk.
Hebe



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[Angiejean]

Thank you Hebe. It is great to hear from a younger person.

Can I ask please, who told you about complications. And how you were told. I ask because at some point, some children tend to forget about the complications and the diabetes and it would be interesting points for us 'oldies' to considers when we talk to youngsters, children etc.

Hebe, also, some children just forget their diabetes to sort of fit in with their friends.... What do you think that parents should do in this situation?

It's just to try and help us to say the right things to our children.

Complications seen to be all you are told about. Every book you get given about diabetes has all the warnings of DKA and how you must keep the blood glucose low. I used to be very concerned about my daughters education but at this point I must agree with Hebe the priority at the moment is her health only. There is no point is pushing education when the are so many emotions going round her head at the moment and she needs to deal with these. I have learnt that I would rather have her happy at the end of the day when she goes to bed than stressing about her diabetes. When she gets upset I show her the photos of her having fun this year on holiday and compare them with the years when she was not diabetic and point out it is the same girl that is on those photos having fun we just have to be a little more careful now than before. It still breaks my heart everyday though when I think back to what it was like before. I don't know if that will ever get any easier.

 

[donnellysdogs]

Complications seen to be all you are told about. Every book you get given about diabetes has all the warnings of DKA and how you must keep the blood glucose low. I used to be very concerned about my daughters education but at this point I must agree with Hebe the priority at the moment is her health only. There is no point is pushing education when the are so many emotions going round her head at the moment and she needs to deal with these. I have learnt that I would rather have her happy at the end of the day when she goes to bed than stressing about her diabetes. When she gets upset I show her the photos of her having fun this year on holiday and compare them with the years when she was not diabetic and point out it is the same girl that is on those photos having fun we just have to be a little more careful now than before. It still breaks my heart everyday though when I think back to what it was like before. I don't know if that will ever get any easier.

Talking to my step sister this morning about coping with a critical illness. She wears a "poo" bag. It was really interesting as one of the things that aggravates us is that spontaneity in some aspects is removed.... She come over from Spain with a suitcase full of spares and consumables. Having to take poo bags with her everywhere etc even to the shops. Like diabetics, we cannot just eat, in case of a pump and going away you have to take your spares etc...

It would be so lovely for someone to give us that spontaneity back somehow. My step sis is by herself so there is no chance, but I would love for a weekend away where my partner suprised me and could guarantee me that he had thought of everything and packed everything...

Honestly, I think it sort of gets better BUT people adapt. Until children get their own independent lives I think parents do have a tough time to know when and what to say at the right times. Parents also have the sort of guilt of giving their child a faulty gene. I know my mum has always struggled with that thought.

 

[Angiejean]

I think that. Last year was the measles outbreak in wales. She had only one of her MMR jabs so I thought I had better get the second one done as with all childhood illnesses they can affect some people really badly and the complications you can be left with there can be devastating. I keep wondering was is that. If she hadn't had the jab would she be ok now? I guess I will never know.

My grandmother was type 1 but my mother wasn't neither am I but I guess it's more likely to come from my side that his. At school it's hard as sweets are often given out as rewards in lessons and she has to take them home while all the other kids eat theirs there and then. It's that aspect of being different that upsets me and yes the spontaneity of being able to change your plans at the last minute. I am surprised how many people think that you just inject a pre dosed amount that someone medical has worked out for you and all the trial and error that it's takes to get right is overlooked. So many people think the finger prick test is the insulin injection and they say oh it's only like an epi-pen sprung loaded and I have to point out that it is a proper needle and that has to be done four times a day. Some kids from her school have watched the injections we have done and they say "wow I couldn't do that." I am so very proud of how she has coped.

 

[donnellysdogs]

I think that it is so hard for children, as you don't want to be different to your friends. There certainly isn't any easy answer.

Wow, children are rewarded with sweets? Blimey? I never knew that! Crikey. I find that outrageous to be honest. Think that highlights my age and how education is nowadays at school. Bring back the days of the cane!! When you had to be reasonable behaviour othwise you get a wallop!!! That is unbelievable to me!

My family history of diabetes goes me, my mums brother and my gran. So pretty much male, female alternating down the line on my mums side. Which is why she feels so bad as she knows it goes from her genetics. As it is a faulty part of our genetics for type 1 I doubt if an injection kicked it in.. However causation has never really been clarified so still remains a mystery.

It is hard to hear a parents feeling of guilt as well as feeling different yourself. Saying "i would do anything I could to take it away" never actually helped me, just made me feel more different. It's very, very hard for parents as you do want best for your children. I do so feel for you.

 

[Smitten73]

Talking to my step sister this morning about coping with a critical illness. She wears a "poo" bag. It was really interesting as one of the things that aggravates us is that spontaneity in some aspects is removed.... She come over from Spain with a suitcase full of spares and consumables. Having to take poo bags with her everywhere etc even to the shops. Like diabetics, we cannot just eat, in case of a pump and going away you have to take your spares etc...

It would be so lovely for someone to give us that spontaneity back somehow. My step sis is by herself so there is no chance, but I would love for a weekend away where my partner suprised me and could guarantee me that he had thought of everything and packed everything...

Honestly, I think it sort of gets better BUT people adapt. Until children get their own independent lives I think parents do have a tough time to know when and what to say at the right times. Parents also have the sort of guilt of giving their child a faulty gene. I know my mum has always struggled with that thought.

I can relate to that DD. Ive had my own colostomy for 13 years! It is always something you have to think about, especially when leaving the house. I normally get away with 3 colostomy bags and some disposal bags tucked away in my handbag. I can change that sucker in 5 seconds! Travelling abroad is a whole different story though.