Depression

[TOSH1]

Hi

I am really feeling down at the moment, not sure how to get this resolved.

My partner wants to split up and to be quite honest the relationship has gotten so far that i want to split up too. We are sleeping in separate bedrooms, I am getting up in the middle of the night at 2 and 3 am and cannot get to sleep. I will end up leaving but this means that she stays in my house and I still pay for everything.

I have now just started to exercise more and cut down on my alcohol, My eyesight is really bad, my skin is really itchy, I rang in sick today which was the first time that I rang in sick for at least 20 years. I tried to make an appointment with the DR today but they are not classing this as an emergency and the only appointment is in 2 weeks time.

Just wanted to get it off my chest.

Thanks for reading.

 

[catherinecherub]

Hi @TOSH1,

Your depression is because of the situation that you are in and unless you reach a solution then you will be feeling down.
I don't understand why you will have to pay all the bills if you split up? Are there children involved?

The Doctor may be able to help but I think that most of the problem can be solved by the two people involved. Are you able to communicate with each other because if you cannot then both of you will have to be mind readers and guess what the other one is thinking..

The stress is no good for either of you and maybe you could both go to a mediator/counsellor to reach an agreement.
It seems like the end of the world when you are in these types of situations but if you can talk it through and reach an amicable agreement then things will become easier for you

I would think the eyesight and skin problems are caused by raised blood sugars considering the stress you are under.

 

[nancyb]

Sorry to hear you're having a bad time. You're taking some positive steps with your health and ultimately that will help, but sounds like you would also appreciate some help from the doctor. Does your surgery do phone appointments? At my surgery these are usually quicker to get than face-to-face. Usually the doctors are only able to offer medication and to put you on a waiting list for counselling.
Have you thought about Relate (formerly marriage guidance)? You don't have to be married and you can go alone if partner won't go. If you can afford to pay, I think you get in quicker! it would give you a chance to talk about relationship problems. If you can't afford to pay, get a doctors referral.
Look after yourself.

 

[Snowy12]

Hi

I am really feeling down at the moment, not sure how to get this resolved.

My partner wants to split up and to be quite honest the relationship has gotten so far that i want to split up too. We are sleeping in separate bedrooms, I am getting up in the middle of the night at 2 and 3 am and cannot get to sleep. I will end up leaving but this means that she stays in my house and I still pay for everything.

I have now just started to exercise more and cut down on my alcohol, My eyesight is really bad, my skin is really itchy, I rang in sick today which was the first time that I rang in sick for at least 20 years. I tried to make an appointment with the DR today but they are not classing this as an emergency and the only appointment is in 2 weeks time.

Just wanted to get it off my chest.

Thanks for reading.

Hi Tosh1 sorry to hear you are feeling down I wouldn't rush into anything as When feeling down you tend not to think straight as it seems to heighten it more,I suffered in the past with severe depression and it is not nice I would suggest you see your doctor first see what they have to say do you have a walk in poly clinic where you live?as you can go to these without having to be a member of the surgery we do this if we cannot get an appointment I am lucky as our doctors surgery has changed and if you phone up on the day at 8.00 in the morning you are guaranteed an appointment.Dont leave your home as it is a safe environment for you the less stress you put on yourself the better it will be,take one day at a time cutting down on alcohol is not a bad thing also a lot of people tend to suffer more in the winter I know I do I bought myself a light therapy box for people who suffer with seasonal defective disorder.As for you going in sick I think you have done really well in 20years of working don't be hard on yourself your mental health is very important Keep well Andrea.

 

[TOSH1]

Hi @TOSH1,

Your depression is because of the situation that you are in and unless you reach a solution then you will be feeling down.
I don't understand why you will have to pay all the bills if you split up? Are there children involved?

.

Yes there are children involved. I am not going to ask them to leave as there school is right near and a walking distance and do not want to disrupt their schooling.

I bought the house around 18 years ago and have been paying all the bills ever since. She does not contribute anything to any of the bills. I have given her an option to move out but she has refused as she wants to stay with the children, which I can understand. I think she wants me to move out but I still carry on paying for everything.

We have been to a marriage Councillor session once but I think she has already made her mind up and told me that it was a waste of time going as it is over.

I have checked where I stand legally and because I own the house and we are not married there is nothing that she can do about taking the house. She does know that i won't kick her out of the house.

She goes out about 3 times a week and I don't know where? It has crossed my mind that she is having an affair but don't know how to prove it and if it was true what can I do?

She is just making my life really difficult at the moment. I am learning to slowly eat healthy food, cherry tomatoes, (Rtvita) diet biscuits, weetabix and this only because I can go into the kitchen to get the food quickly as she is sometimes there.

I did drink Fosters just to numb the pain but it is not doing my health any good and have stopped. (it has only been a week)

My question is has anyone woken up at 2am or 3 am and then cannot sleep. I sometimes go downstairs and eat at this time. Is this normal for diabetics?

Also the skin and eye problems, can they be resolved by exercise?

The positive for today is that I walked about 6 miles just for exercise.


I am sorry about going on and on and Thank you for reading.

 

[TOSH1]

I suffered in the past with severe depression and it is not nice

How was it dealt with?

 

[Snowy12]

How was it dealt with?

Hi Tosh1 I was put on medication and then had some counselling,the medication does take a few weeks to get into your system,just make sure that you tell the doctor what is bothering you and what your symptoms are he might say you will not need meds just counselling which is worth it sometimes talking to someone who is mutual will just be concerned for your welfare and will just listen to you I attend a life coach every month I can be open and do not have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings as the information you tell them is strictly confident.
I hope this helps if you have anymore questions I will try to help.
Take Care Andrea.

 

[nancyb]

I used to have problems with waking up in the night and eating. Since going LCHF this hardly ever happens. I think it was the carbs that were causing it. Try to fill up with protein, fat and veggies rather than carbs.
The stress that you are under is also probably a big factor as it will wake you up at night and affect your blood glucose.
Don't just give up your house, especially if you think there is someone else in your partners life (there may not be - when we are depressed it messes with our thoughts). I think you and your partner need to find a way forward that is financially viable for both of you, and that will probably be difficult without the help of some sort of mediator.

 

[Kezzer4321]

Hi

I am really feeling down at the moment, not sure how to get this resolved.

My partner wants to split up and to be quite honest the relationship has gotten so far that i want to split up too. We are sleeping in separate bedrooms, I am getting up in the middle of the night at 2 and 3 am and cannot get to sleep. I will end up leaving but this means that she stays in my house and I still pay for everything.

I have now just started to exercise more and cut down on my alcohol, My eyesight is really bad, my skin is really itchy, I rang in sick today which was the first time that I rang in sick for at least 20 years. I tried to make an appointment with the DR today but they are not classing this as an emergency and the only appointment is in 2 weeks time.

Just wanted to get it off my chest.

Thanks for reading.

Hi Tosh,
Sorry your having such a bad time. I was in a similar situation a few years ago except there were no children involved. Unfortunately I can tell you that the longer you are in an unresolved situation like this, the harder it will be. Emotional turmoil can play havoc on your health so please do your best to look after yourself. With regards to the house situation, maybe you need to stop making things so easy for her, by that I mean perhaps you need to tell her she needs to start contributing to the household, or perhaps you could say no to babysitting. No one ever wants to be the bad person.... This lead me to stay trapped in a bad relationship for a long time. As soon as you start to make some positive decisions about your life, you will start to fell positive about aspects of life too, such as eating healthy etc. the hardest part is making your initial decision and sticking to it.

I wish you all the very best for the future and hope things get better for you soon

 

[pavlosn]

I believe that your waking up in the early hours of the night is a sign of stress not diabetes. When under a lot of stress I can fall asleep when really tired but end up waking up really early and then being unable to go back to sleep, just like you are describing.

Breaking up with someone is never easy especially when there are children involved.

Obviously, we do not know all the details, having only heard part of your side of the story, but it does sound like you have been dealt an unfair hand. Being expected to move out of your one house and to carry on paying for all the expenses does not really sound right.

But you do have the children to think off as well....

The atmosphere in the house can not be pleasant for them either.

Somewhere along, the two of you will have to sit down and, perhaps with some professional counseling, discuss where you go from here.

If you can not find a way to live together you will need to find a way to live apart in a manner that will do the least harm to your children and will allow you to reduce the amount of stress you are under before this does permanent damage to your health.

Pavlos