Moving on….Starting on insulin....positive signs of improvement ...glimmers of hope...

pavlosn

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@Molly56

I thought your other half was poorly and in bed and also suffering from poor mobility and unable to do much walking due to a knee that needs replacement?

Yet he still managed to get himself out and about to get jam doughnuts?
 
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Mike d

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I've seen people drive when obviously drunk just to grab another six pack, so I've learnt to never underestimate the cravings of the desperate.

Same applies to drugs and cigarettes. Beware the things they hide ... they might appear "out of it" but the "fix" controls what they may or may not do beyond what seems to be their capabilities.
 

Molly56

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@Molly56

I thought your other half was poorly and in bed and also suffering from poor mobility and unable to do much walking due to a knee that needs replacement?

Yet he still managed to get himself out and about to get jam doughnuts?

@pavlosn ....yes he was poorly and in bed but that was 10 days ago ....he is feeling a bit better now so is up and about....he does have problems with knee and hip pain so has reduced mobility....I think from what the consultant said that knee replacement is possible but some way down the line as he is not that old and they use this as last option....so he can drive and get around...
I had hoped that the fact the diabetic nurse has told him that he needs to start on insulin (appointment for this at end of January) would have been enough incentive for him to look at what he was eating but clearly from yesterdays discovery this is not the case...:(
As @Mike D said the cravings get the better of people and I can see this is happening here...
Unfortunately I can't be with him 24/7 as I have a life to lead too so I can't be held accountable for his actions when I am not here.....he is an adult so is quite capable of making his own decisions...
...just feels at the moment that I am holding a ticking timebomb which could go off at any time....:eek:
 
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zand

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Sadly I think your husband won't take responsibility until that time bomb goes off. I sincerely hope it's only a small bomb, but big enough to wake him up and change his attitude. I feel for you, but I don't see him changing until something makes him change
 
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Mike d

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Sadly I think your husband won't take responsibility until that time bomb goes off. I sincerely hope it's only a small bomb, but big enough to wake him up and change his attitude. I feel for you, but I don't see him changing until something makes him change
Agreed ... 1000% ....
 

Molly56

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Sadly I think your husband won't take responsibility until that time bomb goes off. I sincerely hope it's only a small bomb, but big enough to wake him up and change his attitude. I feel for you, but I don't see him changing until something makes him change
@zand...this is what I am thinking too...but then occasionally like today there is a small indication that I can see just how much his diabetes is getting him down....he rarely / never says much about it and generally just won't talk about it but today he did actually mention how much it was getting him down .......but as quick as the moment was there it was gone again...
What he probably needs is to talk to someone about how it is making him feel ......I am happy to talk to him about it if he wants to but sometimes think he would be better off talking to someone else but don't know who would be best........just wish I could find the answer / hoping I find it before the time bomb goes off....
 

zand

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He may simply be scared of facing up to it. Sometimes we can all be like rabbits stuck in headlights. He needs to realise that if he works hard at his diet and health, then diabetes needn't get him down. If he sorts out his blood sugars he will feel so much better, and then will see that giving up some foods isn't the end of the world if he has more energy and feels well again. He's stuck in a vicious circle right now and needs to make a bit of effort to turn it into a virtuous one. But that's easy to say and not so easy to do.
 

anna29

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Put more simply - maybe he feels the mountain is too big or steep to climb ?
Hence the not making any real efforts or taking responsibility for his own health matters .
 
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Mike d

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@zand...this is what I am thinking too...but then occasionally like today there is a small indication that I can see just how much his diabetes is getting him down....he rarely / never says much about it and generally just won't talk about it but today he did actually mention how much it was getting him down .......but as quick as the moment was there it was gone again...
What he probably needs is to talk to someone about how it is making him feel ......I am happy to talk to him about it if he wants to but sometimes think he would be better off talking to someone else but don't know who would be best........just wish I could find the answer / hoping I find it before the time bomb goes off....

If he's finding hard to confide in you the issues he's having, it would seem to me he wouldn't consider discussing it with anyone else.

He can't live in permanent denial
 
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anna29

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Fear of the unknown can make a person freeze up .
Same as stubbornness - a person will hold out until they are
ready or able to move forward to a positive change .
Denial - same thing, afraid to truly acknowledge what they do
can cause themselves harm etc .

These all act as obstacles - some people open up better to a certain person .
Some persons will be influenced 'more' by a certain family member or friend .
(like my daughter with her dad - I just nag her she says)
Others will listen to a professional 'more' than anyone else .
Partners and spouses usually suffer the negative responses more - sadly .

Molly - is there not someone ? he would be more inclined to listen and be coaxed
more by .
 
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I wish Molly's partner would visit our forum, so he could have a really good look around. He could learn so much and be amongst people with the same condition who have gone through something similar :cool:

How you doing Molly ?

RRB x
 
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Molly56

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Fear of the unknown can make a person freeze up .
Same as stubbornness - a person will hold out until they are
ready or able to move forward to a positive change .
Denial - same thing, afraid to truly acknowledge what they do
can cause themselves harm etc .

These all act as obstacles - some people open up better to a certain person .
Some persons will be influenced 'more' by a certain family member or friend .
(like my daughter with her dad - I just nag her she says)
Others will listen to a professional 'more' than anyone else .
Partners and spouses usually suffer the negative responses more - sadly .

Molly - is there not someone ? he would be more inclined to listen and be coaxed
more by .
@anna29 ....I only wish there was someone...but sadly can't think of anyone...

He was an only child so no siblings....he does have children from a previous relationship but has little / no contact with them...the contact he does have with his son is by phone and follows a typical pattern...each ask the other how they are and they both say "alright" (while I shout silently in the background "no, it is not alright")....
...have considered whether I should speak to his son directly but not sure if I should or not...I would of course contact him if it was an emergency / life threatening but not sure if the current situation warrants that or if it would be looked on unfavourably by either party.......

I agree totally with your observations about people opening up better to a certain person...I will talk at length to my friend about my problems and her problems but won't talk to my mum about any of this.......its just the way it is and is easier that way...

Will keep thinking if there is someone he would listen to but haven't thought of anyone yet...
 

Mike d

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How about drawing up a list of BS readings (ranging from good to bad) and associate them with complications or lack thereof ... in other words, risks / rewards so he can see a goal to aim at.
 
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daddys1

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@anna29 ....I only wish there was someone...but sadly can't think of anyone...

He was an only child so no siblings....he does have children from a previous relationship but has little / no contact with them...the contact he does have with his son is by phone and follows a typical pattern...each ask the other how they are and they both say "alright" (while I shout silently in the background "no, it is not alright")....
...have considered whether I should speak to his son directly but not sure if I should or not...I would of course contact him if it was an emergency / life threatening but not sure if the current situation warrants that or if it would be looked on unfavourably by either party.......

I agree totally with your observations about people opening up better to a certain person...I will talk at length to my friend about my problems and her problems but won't talk to my mum about any of this.......its just the way it is and is easier that way...

Will keep thinking if there is someone he would listen to but haven't thought of anyone yet...

I think I have asked this before Molly, but is he aware of this forum? Has he been given the opportunity to talk to anyone on here?

Does he know all these anonymous people are trying to help him?

And when in the past you/or he has done his glucose testing what has been the purpose of the test, just confirming he's got high numbers which he already knows, as he does not feel well, that is not going to help anyone. Unless of course he knows he can test to improve his figures against what he eats it will be a waste of time.

Neil
 
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donnellysdogs

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I got introduced to people with amputations from diabetes when I was diagnosed and had the fear of god put in me..

Perhaps this may be the only sort of thing that could work for your OH?

Don't think how it would be possible in todays nhs politically correct world... But it worked for me 30+ years ago....

Wishing you well Molly56....
 

Molly56

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Bit of a strange day today.......had a discussion with someone:nurse: about the situation and gained some positive feedback, reassurance and support.......with the potential to get things moving on medication front..
....ended with a setback in terms of referral date which will delay this to even later than originally planned.....not sure how to feel about this....
Am thinking at the moment to work on suggestion by @eddie1968 earlier in this thread...."tomorrow is another day"....and worry about it tomorrow...
 
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Lynn1

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Years ago three of my GPs in my practice retired all with a year of each other. I felt lost but decided to "shop" around for a suitable replacement GP that I felt comfortable with. This has taken a while and now have two GPs who know me well and don't need to waste time pre-reading my records as this gives me the whole 10 mins to discuss things or be examined. Good GPs are like gold dust and anyone blessed with one should consider themselves very lucky.

Know the feeling. Our family doctor of 31 years retired in June. She knew our family history inside out. New doctor doesn't listen.
 
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Bit of a strange day today.......had a discussion with someone:nurse: about the situation and gained some positive feedback, reassurance and support.......with the potential to get things moving on medication front..
....ended with a setback in terms of referral date which will delay this to even later than originally planned.....not sure how to feel about this....
Am thinking at the moment to work on suggestion by @eddie1968 earlier in this thread...."tomorrow is another day"....and worry about it tomorrow...

Hi Molly have you and your partner been told of the new referral date? Is it months away ?

RRB
 
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eddie1968

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Molly, maybe I shall enlist your hubby into my Diabetes Boot Camp. Part of the drill is showing him that jabbing and finger pricking multiple times a day is a bummer. Then there's my video about how hyperglycemia makes you feel like you've no life except sleeping, drinking litres of water like a camel and peeing so much you have a bucket beside you. Then I will tell him how my Diabetes kidney disease is just another fabulous perk of uncontrolled diabetes. Never mind the pain in my feet, just lovely. I reckon he would change his pizza eating and other habits very soon.
 
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