This is off the MAN FLU capsules website............................
Men
Enough is enough! Isn’t it about time us lads get the attention we deserve when we are feeling a bit miserable.
We all know there is no cure for the misery men feel, at least now you can get a bit of comfort, soothing and sympathy in multiple forms.
Take a look at our guide to reduce misery
1) Get suitable assistance
You will need somebody who can tend to your needs. This will include; getting food, drinks and assuring you are always comfortable.
Here is a list of 5 things you may like to hear:
-“I know I can’t understand how bad it must be, you really are brave, I’m so sorry handsome – let me look after you”.
-“No, you take the sofa. I can sit over here – No really I insist, here’s the remote – can I get you another pillow?”.
-“What can I get you, chicken soup? Another drink? A bite to eat – I’ll make you your favourite”.
-“Let me go to the shops and get you a magazine and something special to cheer you up”.
-“Let me leave you in peace so you can watch your DVD box sets / play your new game / watch the match”.
2) Recommended Entertainment
We advise that to make sure you are still fully functional you should play on one of the following games consoles:
-Xbox 360
-PlayStation 3
(If you are feeling brave then a light session on a Nintendo Wii is acceptable)
Another alternative is to select the right viewing material. It is difficult to advise on the best thing to watch because its dependent on the mood. Here are some of our personal favourite films:
-The Hangover
-Step Brothers
-American Pie
3) Menvironment
It is essential that you are in the ideal ‘Menvironment’. This is our man environment which has been created to help us through our day making life as easy and comfortable as possible. Make note of the following and make sure you have access to them:
-Seating/lying position
You aren’t going to move for a long period of time, so make sure you are in a position that is comfortable to be in and one where you can see the TV easily.
-Temperature
The room you will be in needs to be at the correct temperature. We think it’s best that you have access to a quilt in case you get too cold and on the other hand a well ventilated room that can cool you down if it gets too warm.
-Create your ‘Area of Movement’
Everything you need must be within reaching distance of the position you are sat/lying in. That means the remotes, drinks, food or any other essentials must be kept close by!
-Toilet breaks
Unfortunately at some point you will probably have to move out of your position to go to the toilet. Make sure that there is either; an advert break long enough, you can pause / leave the game you are playing or you can pause the film you are watching.
OUR MANTRA
Make sure you stay in – for the benefit of others.
Avoid children (yours, neighbours, relatives – the problems are 10x).
Never forget only you can truly know how bad you feel.
Forget who looked after you – at your peril.
Let nature take its course if you want – but comfort, soothing and sympathy really helps.
Women
Is he lying on the sofa feeling sorry for himself, yet again? Here is what we recommend.
We all know there is no cure for the misery men feel, at least now they can get a bit more comfort, soothing and sympathy in a bottle.
If he loved you the 5 things he would say:
1. “I know you work so hard, you barely get any time to yourself as it is. Don’t be running around after me, I’m a big boy now and can look after myself”.
2.“No, you take the sofa. I will go to bed and keep my germs away. No really I insist, here’s the remote – can I get you a cup of tea?”.
3. “When you don’t feel good I will be the most understanding, sympathetic and best boyfriend / husband you could dream of. I will do the shopping, look after the house, plump up your pillows and kiss your forehead”.
4.“I just wanted to buy you a little pressie for looking after me. This weekend it is about us – I’ve booked a table at your favourite restaurant and then we can curl up and watch that film you’ve been talking about”.
5. “Let me leave you in peace so you can watch your favourite TV shows, I’m off to bed / work / moan in the other room”.
Fact: We know how he feels – because he’s milking it and being a bit of a wimp.
Science: Yes our bodies are different, our immune systems are different, and our genetic makeup is different.
Nature: Anyway, has he even suffered pain? Period pain? Child birth? No. Case closed.
Top tips
Know his limits! If you are asked to buy him ‘something’ or ‘tablets’ or whatever, it doesn’t really matter what you get him because he’ll still moan anyway.
If sympathy, care and attention are being demanded the phrase ‘you are such a wimp’ is likely to result in a category A grade sulk. Meaning some peace and quiet for at least half an hour.
If his moaning persists bath him and send him straight to bed! Give yourself a bit of alone time to relax because we all know you’ve been rushing non-stop all day whilst the most he has done is move 2 feet to get the remote!