Clearly I am doing this for myself. I found this forum before i had even heard of scotty. I was simply pouring out my feelings to millysue. No emotional blackmail intended and if @Scotty1 feels i have done this then it was never the intention.Now, I'm going to be the horrid one, but if I felt so inclined, I could read your last post as emotional blackmail.
Muggle - you have to want to do this for yourself. If you don't want that, then I suggest you invest some time to find out why, and work on that. Because, you are the absolute constant in your life; not anyone else. Yes, of course we can take (and as importantly, give) support from and to others, but if we don't want it for ourselves, it's the proverbial house built on sand.
I know you and Scottie were supporting each other, but if she, or anyone else for that matter (as these comments are general, although directed to you, in this instance) chooses to do things a different way, they have to be respected, no matter how bewildering it can be.
You have done well, and can continue to do well, but you have to be clear what you are doing and for whom you are doing it.
BUT I am also doing it for my children because I am the only constant they have in their lives. I have a disabled son too who's needs are much greater than his siblings.
We all get down. We all - I presume - feel like and indeed do fall off the wagon from time to time, and expressing my sadness to millysue and talking things over and reasoning things out went a long way to stopping me doing so today what ever my reasons behind feeling the way I did.
Deep down I knew @scottie1 didn't really want to leave this forum, I just didn't want her to be chased away and left feeling hurt by someone who meant well but could have been interpreted to have been either negative, overly critical or interfering even if that wasn't their intention. It is very easy to be misunderstood on forums, as I too have just found out.