Help for a Type1 friend.

[Marjana]

Hello, everybody.

I have just had a dear friend diagnosed with type 1, it has been two weeks now. She is 18 and seems to be struggling a lot, everything is new, the insulin pens, the blood glucose, she is so sad. I don't know what exactly the doctors said, her family is still in total shock, we all are actually. I tried to make her check out this and some other forums but she refuses and says she can handle it. I don't know anything about this, how can I help? I was wondering if there are any options of having a person who would consult newly diagnosed diabetics, like a counselor that specializes in this. Does anyone know anything about it, is it even an option? Would a diabetic benefit from this at all? I kind of thought it would be weekly meetings or something that would help her get back on track.

Thank you very much for all your help.

 

[azure]

It'll take her a while to get used to the diagnosis. It can be a major shock. It could be that's she's not quite ready to look at places like this forum, or other sources of help.

Does she have a DSN (diabetes nurse) that she can call if she has a problem? Would she be up for looking through some books about diabetes?

I'm sure counselling would be available through her GP, but give her a chance to process her diagnosis first. The best thing you can do is to be there for her without pressuring or fussing her. That was one thing I hated when I was first diagnosed - being fussed.

This forum will be here if and when she's ready. Just respond to her needs as they arise and be led by her.

 

[urbanracer]

Depending on the area you live in and if you are lucky enough to have an endocrine centre attached to your local hospital she will get follow up appointments with specialists and sometimes group sessions with other newbies.

She'll probably ease into it at some point.

 

[Riri]

However difficult it is now for your friend, it will get better with help and support and just knowing someone is there even if she's not ready to talk at the moment. Somewhere like this forum would be ideal as there are always likeminded people around to offer advice but more importantly to listen. As with many problem though, you won't be able to force her to do anything, nor would that be a good idea. Try and encourage her to speak to her specialist diabetes team as often as possible as then she will hopefully begin to feel that there are people there fo her when she's having a bad day.

 

[Juicyj]

What an amazing friend you are to want to help, that's a very kind and caring thing to do.

I was diagnosed 3 years ago at the age of 37, I was in shock and cried a lot, I found it very over whelming but had a sense of this is my illness and I have to handle it, even though I have a very supportive partner, friends and family. It took me a good year to really come full circle. There is a huge amount of knowledge that comes with diagnosis and a sense of urgency that you have to manage it and not fall off. The NHS does have courses such as 'expert' and 'DAFNE - dose adjustment for normal eating' that your friend can attend in time, also reading books like 'Think like a pancreas' and Dr Bernsteins book on diabetes are very useful. Knowledge is power with this illness so the more you learn the more of an expert you become, but we all manage to live with it and carry on relatively normal lives, it shouldn't affect what you do or how you live, Sir Steve Redgrave being a classic example of how it can be overcome.

This forum is useful for support and guidance we are all in the same boat so only happy to help when your friend is ready

 

[Marjana]

Thank you all. I know nothing about all this and your first hand info helps a lot. This forum has overall a lot of good advice.

I don't know what options there are available for my friend as I did not ask too many questions, am still waiting for the right time. I would assume she has someone from her medical team available to help her out, I just don't know how often that would be.

I have been browsing the web for some additional info and came across an article. What do you think about having a diabetes coach? Would a newly diagnosed person benefit from this? I don't want to push my friend into anything so I thought I'd ask you first.

 

[ann34+]

Thank you all. I know nothing about all this and your first hand info helps a lot. This forum has overall a lot of good advice.

I don't know what options there are available for my friend as I did not ask too many questions, am still waiting for the right time. I would assume she has someone from her medical team available to help her out, I just don't know how often that would be.

I have been browsing the web for some additional info and came across an article What do you think about having a diabetes coach? Would a newly diagnosed person benefit from this? I don't want to push my friend into anything so I thought I'd ask you first.

What an amazing friend you are to want to help, that's a very kind and caring thing to do.

I was diagnosed 3 years ago at the age of 37, I was in shock and cried a lot, I found it very over whelming but had a sense of this is my illness and I have to handle it, even though I have a very supportive partner, friends and family. It took me a good year to really come full circle. There is a huge amount of knowledge that comes with diagnosis and a sense of urgency that you have to manage it and not fall off. The NHS does have courses such as 'expert' and 'DAFNE - dose adjustment for normal eating' that your friend can attend in time, also reading books like 'Think like a pancreas' and Dr Bernsteins book on diabetes are very useful. Knowledge is power with this illness so the more you learn the more of an expert you become, but we all manage to live with it and carry on relatively normal lives, it shouldn't affect what you do or how you live, Sir Steve Redgrave being a classic example of how it can be overcome.

This forum is useful for support and guidance we are all in the same boat so only happy to help when your friend is ready

Agree with the above, especially regarding knowledge being power. Though i would add that Type one may be very different for different people, and may be very difficult for some, and easier for others, especially if they still have some of their own insulin left. P.S. I am pretty sure Sir Steve is Type 2! I recall many years ago he explained in a magazine article that medications he had to take for another condition had brought on the type 2. He could have managed with tablets but needed a high carbs training diet & chose to start insulin -http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Diabetes-type2/Pages/SteveRedgrave.aspx

 

[LucySW]

Hello, everybody.

I have just had a dear friend diagnosed with type 1, it has been two weeks now. She is 18 and seems to be struggling a lot, everything is new, the insulin pens, the blood glucose, she is so sad. I don't know what exactly the doctors said, her family is still in total shock, we all are actually. I tried to make her check out this and some other forums but she refuses and says she can handle it. I don't know anything about this, how can I help? I was wondering if there are any options of having a person who would consult newly diagnosed diabetics, like a counselor that specializes in this. Does anyone know anything about it, is it even an option? Would a diabetic benefit from this at all? I kind of thought it would be weekly meetings or something that would help her get back on track.

Thank you very much for all your help.

Hi Marjana,

Totally agree with what @Juicyj and others wrote. I'd just add, Give your friend time. There is a lot of help out there: books she has to read, and questions to ask on here. But there's no point in that till she's ready. She has to want to do it herself. I've tried pushing/nudging a new diabetic friend and no good.

One of the most important things is just to start logging every days insulin doses, blood sugars and meals. This info is vital to get control. But she probably won't be ready for that yet. When she is, a good phone app like mysugr or DiaConnect is fantastic. They sync to your computer, show you trends, give you real power.

Adjusting what you eat so as to cut carb intake also makes blood sugars much more stable - not so up/down. That helps a lot. So that's something to look into when she's ready.

So when she's ready, the kit is there. And it'll make her feel better.

It's not the end of life - you get used to it and get thro the stages of grief, and life starts again, with knowledge and therefore power.

Have a look at stages of grief: http://www.diabetesexplained.com/the-five-stages-of-grief.html

Power to you and your friend x

Edit: sorry Juicyj, I meant you.

 

[Juicyj]

Agree with the above, especially regarding knowledge being power. Though i would add that Type one may be very different for different people, and may be very difficult for some, and easier for others, especially if they still have some of their own insulin left. P.S. I am pretty sure Sir Steve is Type 2! I recall many years ago he explained in a magazine article that medications he had to take for another condition had brought on the type 2. He could have managed with tablets but needed a high carbs training diet & chose to start insulin -http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Diabetes-type2/Pages/SteveRedgrave.aspx

Hello Ann - thanks you were right about that, one of my many blonde moments !!!

Marjana, it's difficult to say whether a diabetic coach is right for your friend or not. A diabetic nurse should be in touch and making regular contact so every few weeks at least to start and to ensure the insulin doses are being managed well, they are also accessible so if your friend has questions they can call the diabetes team, your friend will also have a consultant at their local hospital with whom they should meet with every 6 months.

I think more than anything having a patient friend to talk to is a vital part of your friends recovery. Diagnosis comes with a range of emotions, some would be relieved, others inconsolable, it affects all of us differently and I think discussing any ideas with your friend about what would help them through the first few months is probably the best way forward.

Good luck

 

[CraigDT]

Hi Marjana,

I was diagnosed 6 months ago with type 1, I am 36. It is a massive life change and it takes a long time to process. It is like being on a diet, because you have to think about your food all the time, but you can't have a day when you just think sod it and eat whatever you like. It is the constant monitoring that took me the longest to adjust to.

Different people will approach it differently, but for certain there will be a bit of denial either before going to the doctor or just after diagnosis.

It may be that your friend would benefit from knowing that you won't treat her differently. Of course you know you wouldn't treat her differently, but perhaps she is feeling insecure about herself and she would benefit from just being "normal". Just having some time where she is just hanging out with you doing whatever you would normally do might lighten her mood. Depending on how people are approaching her, she might be overwhelmed with information and advice from different places and it might be nice for her to have a space where she can switch off from all of that and just be herself.

This forum is really good for answering questions and giving advice from the perspective of people who have gone through what she is going through. So when she has had a chance to process what is going on, I am sure she will be made very welcome here if she has any questions.

Another thing that your friend might be feeling just now is self-conscious around the times when she has to take insulin. The less of a fuss you make of that the better. Just treat it like its nothing out of the ordinary if you are out and about. In a more private setting you could ask to watch if your friend would be comfortable so you can understand what she has to go through better. Trying to reassure her that it is not something to be embarrassed about might be helpful.

I hope your friend feels better soon! There is very little she can't do after diagnosis, so even though it might feel like her whole world is tumbling down, over time she should come to realise she is be able to do pretty much anything she wants with her life.

Cheers,
Craig

 

[Marjana]

Hi everyone,

Thank you very much, for your time and effort, I am slowly getting the impression of the thing. It seems a pretty complicated matter, right? I was wondering a few days ago, trying to get into my friend's head, what the biggest challenges she is facing right now are. I would love to hear about your biggest challenges with diabetes, now and when you were diagnosed with it. What is it? It seems there is a ton of things to consider.

Also, do people normally have diabetes under control? I have heard about some quite unpleasant consequences, does that happen often?

Best to all,
Marjana

 

[Juicyj]

Hello Marjana,

Type 1 is unique to each and every one of us, we are all insulin controlled, some are well controlled and others struggle, it's not the same for any 2 individuals, it's affected by diet, exercise, stress, hormones, heat, sleep, age, we all have to find the routine, diet, insulin that suits us best. We are fortunate that there are many tools available that can help such as the meters we use, or pumps or continuous glucose monitors and quite importantly diaries are an excellent way of recording results. Using apps such as carbs and cals are good for taking the right quick acting insulin doses, and there are apps available for smart phones for recording results too.

Type 1 is like walking a tight rope, whenever anyone asks me I always say it's work in progress, there are some who I would consider better controlled than me, but it justs takes getting a dose wrong or too much exercise and the balance is disrupted. A night out can take me a whole day to recover my blood glucose, if we don't get it right or fail to manage the condition then yes the long term implications are serious, such as blindness, amputations, strokes, but managed well then the likelihood of any of there or other health issues occurring lessen.

I think your friend will be keen to start feeling better and getting insulin doses right at this stage, the thirst for more knowledge will come with time

 

[azure]

Are your friend's parents supportive, Marjana? Or other close family?

You could try having a casual chat with her to see what in particular is worrying her.

And what about her doctor and medical team? Do you know if/how they're helping her, both with her treatment and emotionally?