Needing help :(

[babyboscher]

Hi everyone,

I recently posted on here about '10 years and not coping' and I have to say I was completely surprised by the feedback.

Unfortunately I'm still in complete denial! I'm not looking after myself but I know I should be but I seem to be making sure everyone else is okay before putting myself first.

My doctor has now said that I need to start putting myself first but I still can't seem to do it. Unfortunately circumstances haven't improved/changed at all since I last posted. Work has now got busier - I'm working all day every day so I don't find time to do my medication. I still have no support from family and friends so I'm on my own - I have been doing this alone for a long time now and it's only now when it's beginning to get difficult.

I really think I need help but I don't know what I can do. I don't like the way I am and I know I need to change.

I easily help others when they need it but when it comes to me I don't take care of myself at all and I know I should.

If someone could please offer me some help/advice I would be forever thankful.

I need to have a life worth living and enjoy living once again.

 

[bumblebee95]

Hello dear, I have been going through something very similar. There never seems to be enough hours in the day to care for yourself. At times like this, there are two ways that you can get help:
Counselling- the counsellors help you overcome the issues you have with your diabetes and get back on track
Reach out- make some diabetic buddies who can provide you with support for your issues, you can support each other and it will really help.
I am 20, and have had diabetes for 11 years, it is a battle but I am taking baby steps. Always looking for supportive friends

 

[babyboscher]

I have previously had my diabetes controlled but it was a very strict and tight regime which was too controlling for me. I have been offered counseling but turned it down.

I think it's more support which is stopping me from making myself better.

Thank you for the advice xx

 

[Juicyj]

Sadly having type 1 is absolutely ****..

However the hardest part about having type 1 is the mental attitude to this, when you are strong you can take on the world, when you are feeling down it's easy to give in. The NHS does not offer very good support to deal with this mentally, sadly that is a fact, it's forums like this where you can share and not feel judged are the best places to get support. Ultimately the responsibility lies with each one of us to manage our own condition in whatever way best that get's us through the day. I personally do not want to die in a way that was bought about through my own mis-management of this condition, I want to have a healthy life and that's my focus in managing this condition, I don't like feeling ill so I know if I test regularly, take insulin when I need to, exercise and don't go OTT then I can do this. Having a goal about how you want to feel and to not let this rule your life should be your focus. You've said from your post that you have previously had your diabetes controlled, so you are capable of managing this, but it has to come from you, with all the support in the world it's only possible if you allow it to be. Make a new start now by testing yourself and taking your insulin, no one else can do it for you, and keep posting even if it's one sentence to say you've done it. Good luck

 

[Mrsass]

Hi @babyboscher

Sorry you are feeling so rubbish

You say you turned counselling down, why? I know getting counselling can be different to just getting support from people you know etc, but these people are there to help you and if you are struggling as much as you say it may be the best way for you to go.

When you say you are working all day everyday and don't find the time to do your medication, you must get breaks at work, and (hopefully) manage to eat something, so this is your opportunity to do your medication, please remember that it's so important for you to live a happy healthy life.

From the things you said in your '10 years' post i really do think counselling would be a good idea for you, or at least go speak to your doctor

Good luck Hun xx

 

[jackvdbuk]

what medication are you on for type 1? my shots always come first when im at work, luckily work are quite supportive but if they werent it comes first for me. to be honest im in the exact same place as you, T1 was getting to much, ive had it for 23 years and im only 25 recently moved onto four injections a day routine.

a diabetic friend of mine mention meet ups through forums like this, maybe that would be a good idea (for both of us)?

 

[onthegow]

Hi there babyboscher.
This is sad to here. I have had type 1 for 5 years and it's been a massive impact on my life. I was much like you in constant denial. I have managed to get out of that cycle by the skin of my teeth. I think there is sound advice here and I like you found it easier to put others first. It's easier said than done to put yourself first. But the simplest form is stop and put yourself first. Someone I worked with said. Just stop and put yourself first.
I tried it thinking I know this. guess what it took me a year but I kept on forcing myself to stop and sort myself out. And it worked. I then have tried addressing things that affect my diabetes. My wife has been instrumental in plugging away although I'm not sure I was fully deserving of her the way I was behaving. But I'm back. Always happy to chat if you just need to get things out there. Everyone on here is so supportive.
Good luck and remember it's sometimes as easy as stopping. For 5 mins little by little

 

[donnellysdogs]

Babyboscher

What are your levels runing at currently on an average day?

I don't know what meds you take but perhaps you would be better on a mixed insulin only take twice a day.. At least avoiding jabs for eating if at work.

I don't eat all day. Just one meal in the evening.. But my basal rate allows me to do this...

Are you checking your bloods during the day at all?

Life is too short to be too busy to care for yourself.....

 

[babyboscher]

Babyboscher

What are your levels runing at currently on an average day?

I don't know what meds you take but perhaps you would be better on a mixed insulin only take twice a day.. At least avoiding jabs for eating if at work.

I don't eat all day. Just one meal in the evening.. But my basal rate allows me to do this...

Are you checking your bloods during the day at all?

Life is too short to be too busy to care for yourself.....

My levels are constantly in the required area they should be. They only get out of sorts when I'm ill or get stressed to the point of forgetting things.
I have recently stopped checking my bloods due to lack of time.

 

[babyboscher]

Maybe I should try the counseling like everyone has mentioned! Thank you everyone for the kind words. You don't understand how much they really mean xx

 

[donnellysdogs]

My levels are constantly in the required area they should be. They only get out of sorts when I'm ill or get stressed to the point of forgetting things.
I have recently stopped checking my bloods due to lack of time.

Doesn't quite add up that you say you're constantly in levels n recently stopped....

A counsellor would be a good start.. Arenyou going to find time for this??

 

[tim2000s]

@babyboscher I'm going to be blunt here. The only person who can make a difference here is you. You have to choose to want to deal with and accept your diabetes. It is your life and not that of your family, friends or colleagues. You are the only person in a position to say "No, wait a minute, I'm quite literally killing myself".

You have consistently said you lack the time to look after yourself. I'm calling you out on this. You don't. You choose to spend the time doing something other than looking after yourself.

Personally I believe you are in denial and whilst this is one stage of grieving, until you move beyond this you will struggle. Have a read of this: http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

 

[Richard McCann]

My levels are constantly in the required area they should be. They only get out of sorts when I'm ill or get stressed to the point of forgetting things.
I have recently stopped checking my bloods due to lack of time.

Look into the CGM devices (constant blood glucose monitoring). I spoke to my GP a few days ago about them, because I'm not eligible for a pump. He thinks I might be able to get one off the NHS and is looking into it for me.

If you explain all this to your GP (even call your hospital and speak to one of the diabetic nurses there), they may be able to get you one too. The pump is awfully difficult to get these days, but the CGM devices aren't as expensive, so you could give that a go.
Google it and read up about them

 

[RuthW]

It doesn't take much time, though, does it? A few seconds to inject. A few seconds to test bloods. A few seconds to record your tests on an app. So it's not time, it's motivation. I think the counseling would help.

 

[Fayefaye1429]

Maybe splitting your thinking on this. For example what do you need physically maybe a pump maybe more advice maybe giving permission that's it's ok to look after you hard I know. If it helps I was told if you cut your knee you would attend to it or if you need to eat you would so why would diabetes be different to put second. I wonder psychologically if a counsellor would help and I wonder if a support group might be good. Once you have a plan on the split they can float together and your find your sugars decreasing. The big thing is time putting ourselves first can be scary but man is it worth it to not only you but others around you including work. You deserve the best !!