First antenatal appointment and came away in tears

Vick22

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Hi, I think I just need some reassurance here. I've just been to my first antenatal appointment at 7 weeks and 6 days and came away in floods of tears.

I'm fully aware of the things that can go wrong with my pregnancy and the precautions I need to take. My hba1c is 53 or 7.7 and my diabetes nurse is happy with that, but the doctor I saw today made me feel like something WILL go wrong in my pregnancy and made me feel like there was nothing happy to look forward to.

I know it's tough and there's so much we have to do to keep our control as good as possible but I really needed some sort of positivity.

Sorry for my rant!
 

Madelinelowery

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Hey,

My consultant was exactly the same, I was scared of her and dreaded every visit!

I had a bit of a surprise pregnancy and my Hba1c was 8% when I conceived my little boy, he's now 3 weeks and very happy and healthy! I had no complications during my pregnancy & I got my control as good as possible once I found out!

But I'd have bad days where it wouldn't go down! Try not to worry ️ things can go wrong without diabetes, she's wrong to make you feel that way!

Stay positive Hun! All will be fine
I had a good pregnancy so definitely lots to look forward to xxx
 
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mammamia2006

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Try not to stress yourself too much (I know, easier said than done).

My hba1c was terrible for the first few months of pregnancy but my little girl was perfect.

Doctors have a really bad habit of making people feel like rubbish.
 
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Vick22

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Thank you for your comments. I saw this particular doctor at my pre pregnancy counselling last year and he made me feel incredibly deflated back then about me conceiving. He's really made me feel like there's no positive out come here, but thanks to ladies like you, we can have a little hope and begin to look forward to having our little baby xxx
 

Madelinelowery

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Please don't feel deflated Hun, it's the most amazing experience you'll ever go through, I loved every minute
I'd do it all again tomorrow! The love you feel is unreal ️ xxx
 
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mammamia2006

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Thank you for your comments. I saw this particular doctor at my pre pregnancy counselling last year and he made me feel incredibly deflated back then about me conceiving. He's really made me feel like there's no positive out come here, but thanks to ladies like you, we can have a little hope and begin to look forward to having our little baby xxx

Can you not request another dr? I for one certainly wouldnt want to see someone like that! I was lucky enough that all the drs/midwives I ever saw were amazing.

The best thing to do is just try to either get another dr or flat out refuse to see that one until something is done.

I am EXTREMELY vocal about things I dont like with drs & usually end up getting my own way :);)
 
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Vick22

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Lol mammamia2006! fortunately during the appointment he said he was going to put me with another Dr who is more familiar with pumps, which was a relief as the Dr he was talking about is lovely. I've woken up this morning feeling quite numb to it all and like I don't even want to acknowledge I'm pregnant! Just hope after seeing the other Dr I begin to feel happy otherwise it's going to be a hell of a long pregnancy!
 

tigger

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Much sympathy. It's so depressing when you get a really negative dr. The one I get for pregnancy is so lovely that after my first I asked if I could have him permanently and learnt he only did antenatal :( The prospect of being pregnant permanently was not enough to always see him :)

I agree with asking to see another dr. If that's not possible consider another hospital (but see if you can try them out first before switching). Where are you based? I'm in London and have tried 2 different London hospitals and am happy to share my experience by pm - both were positive re endocrinologists.

If you do want to stay where you are and have to see this doctor then I'd suggest you ask for help and bombard her at your next appointment with statistics i.e. all your bs readings over 2-4 weeks, carb counting for each meal and get her to pinpoint what you can do better.

I thank God have 3 healthy children. The best hba1c I ever achieved was 5.6% in the pregnancy that I miscarried. Point is hba1cs are not the only factor that affect pregnancy. No one can predict exactly what can happen in any pregnancy. Ultimately the health of your baby is never entirely in your control. Women without diabetes can have problems with pregnancy, women with incredibly well controlled diabetes can have problems with pregnancy and also those with poorly controlled diabetes can have problems. All of these women can also have healthy pregnancies and children. What the doctors look at is the statistics which they consider show that women with less control and higher hba1cs are more likely to have problems. Personally I've never found being told dreadful things will happen to me is a great motivating factor.... Encouragement and support however are.

The recommended hba1c before trying to conceive in my hospital is 7% and in the other one I tried it was 6.5%. My pg this time was also unexpected and my hba1c at 5 weeks was 7.5% which I was in a complete state about. I had got it down to 6.5% at 10 weeks and am waiting to find out now I've had a pump since 10 weeks (hopefully) how much further I've managed to get it down.

There's loads of advice on here and about how to help with control. It isn't easy or predictable and involves a lot of hard work and restrictions but is worth it in the end. Personally I don't find doctors/dsns so useful in getting my levels right as firstly I know me best and secondly their experience is limited as they don't live with it.

I still find the best way to get really good readings is via a low carb diet although it is hard work.

Wishing you much luck and a healthy baby and pregnancy.
 
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tigger

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Other 2 pieces of advice:

1. Take someone with you to the next appointment. Role is to protect you from being attacked and make the appointment constructive (parents, partner/husband, sibling dependant on your relationship)
2. Use excel spreadsheets to show all your results - I find it much easier to track and record on these and when you print them off they look very organised.
 

Vick22

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Thank you Tigger. I live in Hull and cannot fault my diabetes care from any of my nurses/doctors other than the one I saw yesterday.

He said my conception hba1c was good but not brilliant, and all he discussed with me was the topics covered in my pre pregnancy counselling.

He also briefly touched on labour and c-sections and told me seeing a local midwife is a waste of time and having a birthing plan is pointless. 'Although it's nice to dream' as he put it.

I came away feeling completely clueless and wondering what's to happen at my next visit which he has booked in for 4weeks time. (I'll be 12 weeks by then)

I have my booking appointment with my local midwife on Monday and although I'm aware they aren't experts in diabetes, I'm hoping she may give me a little more positive info!
 

Vick22

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I took my husband with me, who felt the same as me with the docs beside manner, but I didn't show I was upset until we left the hospital.

Thank you, I'll take print outs of my data for next time, and show what I've been working on. I find discussing problems with my diabetes midwife to be more constructive and confidence building.
 

tigger

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What a miseryguts!

Don't worry at the booking in appointment they will go over a lot more detail and be much nicer although you won't get details about labour until a lot further along. The reality is that all there is to discuss at this point is how are your levels, take the right pills and are you having any general issues. I had appointments at 5wks, 8wks, 12 wks and my last was at 16 wks. At 8 and 16 I saw an obstetrician as well although all she did at the first was tell me to take aspirin. At the 2nd they could listen to the heart beat and ask a few more questions.

Nearer the time, the key information for deciding on what you want to happen during the birth are:

1. What week do they allow the pregnancy to go up to all being well? (my hospital is 39 weeks but I know others are 38 and even 40)

2. What are their policies regarding insulin management in labour (most require drips)?

3. What policies do they have for treating babies post birth for low blood sugar and are they automatically sent to scbu? (doesn't happen in my hospital but does elsewhere)

I'd suggest you have this talk with your diabetic midwife, get her on side and get as much of the birth you want as possible within the policies of the hospital. You are unlikely to see an endocrinologist whilst in labour is the good news!

I'm happy to answer questions based on my own experiences. I was induced at 38+6 with no. 1 and it failed and ended in an emergency cs. Nos 2 and 3 (twins) came unexpectedly at 33 weeks and were a vbac.
 
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azure

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A birth plan isnt "pointless" at all! What a weird thing for him to say. Every pregnant lady understands that birth can vary but having a birth plan lets the midwives know your preferences. I found the hospital was very good at sticking to mine and weaving it into my induction.

I saw the obstetric team plus my diabetes consultant ( all in one room) at around 7 or 8 weeks, then had a scan at 12 weeks and more hospital appointments roughly every four weeks, interspersed with appointments with my local midwife. My team was great and I felt really cared for. My diabetes consultant only came to the occasional appointment. Often it was my DSN.

Taking someone with you is a great option as it's less stressful. The appointments are for you and baby so don't let them bully you. Take a list of questions and if you don't understand anything, just ask. They're there to help you both.
 
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tigger

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I'd recommend going on mumsnet too. I found that very helpful with my first pregnancy (providing you avoid all the women with gestational diabetes "oh no my post meal reading is 8! What shall I do?").
 
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maryamy1994

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What a rude and horrible doctor!
When i first found out i was pregnant in February my control was awful with my average blood sugar being 13.4 and my HBA1C being 74!

You need to see the community midwife as that's who books you in for all your scans and for antenatal classes once you're closer to having your baby.

In my pregnancy i'm better than i've ever been with my diabetes but i still have the odd registrar which is critical when my average bm now is my target! try not to take it to heart and ask to see an alternative person if he really upsets you! Good luck x
 
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Vick22

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Thank you maryamy1994. Congratulations on your pregnancy and glad to hear it's going well. I'm seeing my community midwife on Monday morning and feeling a little more confident than I was earlier in the week. All you lovely ladies sharing your experiences really helps. And yes I'm hopefully seeing another doctor at my 12 week appointment x
 
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