Much sympathy. It's so depressing when you get a really negative dr. The one I get for pregnancy is so lovely that after my first I asked if I could have him permanently and learnt he only did antenatal
The prospect of being pregnant permanently was not enough to always see him
I agree with asking to see another dr. If that's not possible consider another hospital (but see if you can try them out first before switching). Where are you based? I'm in London and have tried 2 different London hospitals and am happy to share my experience by pm - both were positive re endocrinologists.
If you do want to stay where you are and have to see this doctor then I'd suggest you ask for help and bombard her at your next appointment with statistics i.e. all your bs readings over 2-4 weeks, carb counting for each meal and get her to pinpoint what you can do better.
I thank God have 3 healthy children. The best hba1c I ever achieved was 5.6% in the pregnancy that I miscarried. Point is hba1cs are not the only factor that affect pregnancy. No one can predict exactly what can happen in any pregnancy. Ultimately the health of your baby is never entirely in your control. Women without diabetes can have problems with pregnancy, women with incredibly well controlled diabetes can have problems with pregnancy and also those with poorly controlled diabetes can have problems. All of these women can also have healthy pregnancies and children. What the doctors look at is the statistics which they consider show that women with less control and higher hba1cs are more likely to have problems. Personally I've never found being told dreadful things will happen to me is a great motivating factor.... Encouragement and support however are.
The recommended hba1c before trying to conceive in my hospital is 7% and in the other one I tried it was 6.5%. My pg this time was also unexpected and my hba1c at 5 weeks was 7.5% which I was in a complete state about. I had got it down to 6.5% at 10 weeks and am waiting to find out now I've had a pump since 10 weeks (hopefully) how much further I've managed to get it down.
There's loads of advice on here and about how to help with control. It isn't easy or predictable and involves a lot of hard work and restrictions but is worth it in the end. Personally I don't find doctors/dsns so useful in getting my levels right as firstly I know me best and secondly their experience is limited as they don't live with it.
I still find the best way to get really good readings is via a low carb diet although it is hard work.
Wishing you much luck and a healthy baby and pregnancy.