Being Made Homeless, Stress Making Diabetes Unstable, no system to help.

deannatrois

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Type of diabetes
Type 1
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My LL wants to sell the house I have been living in with two autistic children for four years. He has issued a S21. I am generaly quite tired, as my sons have a lot of needs. My older son has a specialist social worker, lots of issues (particularly with education but also with his health), my younger son is just nine.

I am 50, have had type 1 diabetes for 46 years. In my 20's it was very unstable, mostly self inflicted, and I spent a long time in hospital. During three pregnancies, my diabetes again was unstable, in spite of my best efforts (hourly blood sugars etc) to control it.

After a stressful four years (iffy Land Lord) he wants to sell the place, has issued a S21 notice and will get a possession order, then bailiffs warrant. I am a carer on benefits, don't have a deposit, need to stay in the area because of the services supplied to my older son and schools. I have had a recent decline in income because my older son has left college (they weren't meeting his needs). I am trying to deal with this.

I have applied to the council for social housing, but as social housing is hard to get, they've put a lot of 'gatekeeping' obstacles in my way. I've dealt with what I can.

But my diabetes has gone unstable in a way I've never seen before. I had to put my Lantus up from 22 u a day to 38.., because of high bloodsugars, was ok for a week, then hypo's started. So I started reducing it again. I am now at a lower than normal dose but my poor son's had to call out an ambulance for me on Saturday and tonight because of hypo's. These occurred against all odds, I should have had hardly any insulin in my body tonight.., I'd missed my Lantus dose because of the hypo but the ambulance team had to give me glucose by IV in the end, because my blood sugar just wouldn't stay up. I'd had two slices of toast before sleeping, and no short acting insulin. I can't understand logically how this hypo could have happened. But it did. Again.

I am quite stressed because of the Housing situation but can access no help to reduce the stress. Shelter tell me I can't be rebanded (presently have D banding which is no priority) because our mental/physical problems are not directly due to something within the house. Stress because of the process doesn't count when asking to be rebanded. So I'm stuck here, waiting to be evicted, have arthritis and back problems so packing up is slow and painful, worrying about my sons, about my diabetes control, money (not in debt or rent arrears but wondering how I am going to cover all the court and removal storage costs coming up) and if I am going to die. I know death from hypos is rare but as these hypos shouldn't even be happening, it is something that worries me rather. My body doesn't deal well with insulin lack so I go into ketoacidosis rather quickly. When my diabetes is unstable I generaly revert to a sliding scale of insulin, imperfect but it helps. Nothing is working this time.

I am posting on here, uselessly because I know its a complicated situation covering lots of areas. I am stunned by how my diabetes is going. Its not the first time its been unstable but its difficult to cope. I do so many blood sugars, am very careful about my eating, exercise (refused to take the dogs for a walk tonight), take lots of blood sugars but the hypos are still happening. Tonight's hypo just shouldn't have happened.., but I also have to be careful because my blood sugars can go up as quickly as they come down. I'm at a loss.

I was referred for an urgent diabetologist appt on Monday but still waiting (know its not long given how the NHS is, but obviously I had another bad hypo tonight).

I suspect this is going to kill me. Do I ask for my sons to be taken away? I should be looking after them, not stressing them out because I am unresponsive again. My poor nine year old had to deal with all of this tonight (the 19 year old was out). None of my control methods are working, I can't remove the housing stress.., so I don't know what to do. Sorry to sound so dramatic.., but I don't know what to do. I could run constant higher blood sugars but I hate how that makes me feel. I know this is my first post on here.., normally i just deal with whatever's happening., but this is actually scaring me. I went to the Diabetes nurse on Monday, she didn't give me any advice whatsoever, just referred me to a diabetologist.
 
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ButtterflyLady

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Hi and welcome to the forum.

Sorry you are having all these issues :(

I have T2 diabetes so I will let the T1s talk about the hypos and the insulin.

Some ideas that pop into my mind (in no particular order) are:

1. Call the DN again and ask for any suggestions for getting through the next few days before your appointment.

2. Ask your 19 year old to stay home for the next few days to help you (If you were rushed to hospital, he would need to look after your 9 year old?)

3. Try to rest over the next few days rather than packing.

4. Ask charities for help - they may have volunteers who can help you pack, advocates for dealing with the legal stuff etc.

5. See if social services can offer some help that is short of you giving up your kids... maybe they can arrange emergency foster care if you need to go to hospital for your safety.

6. Write a list of each issue so you have it on paper... this might help stop the repeated desperate thoughts about them and it may be handy when you asking for help from others.

7. Call a support helpline like the Samaritans or a mental health service emergency line... they are trained to help you calm down and consider things one by one and problem solve.

8. Hold on to hope. There are people who can help... the hard part is finding them and getting the help. I'm not religious but some churches eg the Salvation Army have people who can help in emergencies with practical stuff or even just being there in the house in case your BG goes too low.

Hopefully some T1s will post soon and help you with the blood glucose level stuff. Hugs.
 
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deannatrois

Member
Messages
24
Type of diabetes
Type 1
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Insulin
Thank you very much.

I have decided I'm going to do my best to keep my blood sugars between 7-10mmols.., to give me a little bit of a margin of error. Problem is that is the point at which I cut back on my eating which I have already done. I'm only eating when blood sugar drops below 4 right now. And even then i have to be careful cause very little carbs can make my blood sugar spike, which I don't want either. But obviously at times it is also as if I have a bottomless pit of insulin inside me as well. I can't predict anything.

I have been asking for help.., and am getting help from Shelter. I also have a carers support worker, but she doesn't seem to know of anyone who can help, she's recommended me towards a couple of charities that don't even work in this location lol. I've probably overwhelmed my MP with information lol. He's not gotten back to me.

My 19 year old does normally stay in the house, but he can't cope with the hypo's.., he tends to walk off because it stresses him.I asked him for help this week when my blood sugar dropped suddenly and my sight was going, in spite of sweet coffee.., he looked up something on the net, told me to eat porridge and walked off lol. I just had to sit and wait and hope the coffee would work as with little sight, I couldn't do much. Fortunately the sugar in the coffee did bring me round enough so I was able to get more food.

Both children are autistic. My older son is hearing voices etc.., so he's got an urgent referral to psychiatry. This is why I feel the atmosphere here (although he loves me) is just making things worse for him. I am very isolated, no friends and family who are close. My ex.., well things are very strained (bad relationship and he doesn't get on with my older son, like tonight he made a comment and sparks flew - the comment was very unkind, the ambulance people told me what happened). But he did come round straight away and call an ambulance. so I owe him too. Very difficult. My older son being NEET right now isn't helping him either. I've told my younger son he did exactly the right thing and he's a super hero. That made him smile. I'll figure out a treat for him.

I haven't sought a charity to help with packing. Wouldn't know where to go. I'd be a bit uncomfortable

with that as I really do my best to manage regardless normally.

I've had toast, the kids chocolate milk shake, a full bag of glucose water solution, two tubes of hypostop type stuff., and my blood sugar is still 10mmol/l. It should be well over 20 lol. I haven't dared give myself my Lantus dose. I think I'll have to leave that for now and just operate a sliding scale of humalog.

I think tomorrow I will care the Diabetes UK helpline. It might not be an appropriate call but worth a try. Didn't occur to me until tonight. Been concentrating on the housing issues but I don't think there's any help with that. The system isn't built to help people like me.
 
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ButtterflyLady

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You are sounding a bit clearer on some steps you can take, like calling DUK. It's worth a try. If they can't help they might be able to suggest some people who can.

In case your vision is compromised again while having a hypo, can you carry something around with you in a pocket, or a small bag slung over your shoulder? that way it's there when you need it. It's a shame so much women's clothing doesn't have pockets, because then we have to use our bra-pocket, lol. I'm not sure glucotabs or anything like them would last long there.
 
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Croc

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Sea filth!
If you go to your GP he should be able to write a letter to the council to support your need to be rehoused in the area because of your sons.
 
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Helo, I really am so sorry to read of your ongoing housing problems and how it is affecting you mentally and physically. I concur with the other replies and you do need help and assistance. Try the CAB and your GP too. In this day an age, people have to keep fighting to find out what help, support and advice is out there.

http://www.getconnected.org.uk/get-help/housing-and-homelessness/

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/finding-a-place-to-live/finding-accommodation/

http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_a...f_homeless/emergency_housing_from_the_council

Try and write a diary if you can, it will help you to keep things in perspective ( the positives and negatives), who you have seen, who you have telephoned, meetings, appointments, how it is affecting you and how you are coping .
Fingers crossed for a positive outcome, and I wish you all the best. Please keep us updated if you can.
RRB x
 
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deannatrois

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Type of diabetes
Type 1
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Insulin
Thank u. Sliding scale with no lantus is working thank goodness. Blood sugars between 8-10 all night.

Unfortunately my GP can write all the letters we like, the council won't accept anything other than something wrong with the house we are living in as reason for changing our D priority. I've checked this with Shelter's legal arm. There's nothing I can do. I wish there was.

I can make a case to argue against going into shared lettings (one room, shared facilities) based on my sons needs. It may be accepted, it may not (so we go to a flat instead). That's all I can do. I find it difficult to believe that I could be so affected by the stress and unable to up our priority but it seems this is the way it is.
 
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lovinglife

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Have you tried speaking to the National Autistic Soc. regarding your eldest son, at 19 he is an adult and they may have some sort of advocacy service that can help. They are doing a big campaign at the moment for young adults with autism falling through the net, I do know that sadly it isn't available in all areas but it's worth a try
 
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mrspuddleduck

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Go to or phone the CAB today. You have a 9 year old disabled child so I believe the council has a duty of care to find you emergency accommodate at the least. As sole carer to two disabled dependants you should be able to be 'bumped' up the council housing list. But the CAB will help you negotiate with the council, you are not well enough to do this on your own at the moment. Sue xxx
 
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Spiker

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Just an idea - if the problem is the deposit for a new place, could you persuade your current landlord to give you or lend you the deposit in exchange for getting out earlier, saving him (and you) court costs and bailiff costs etc? And maybe something towards your moving costs or otherwise help you with moving.

I realise that is just a small part of the distress you are going through. :-(
 
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azure

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You may have already checked this, but some local,councils give Bonds to help with paying a deposit. As you are at risk of homelessness this may be an option for,you if your council has such a scheme. It's usually the Housing department who have a section dealing with this. You must stress you're about to be made homeless.

If you're on benefits, you may also want to look into the option of a Budgeting Loan (speak to the DWP) if you can't get any other help. Also, although the old 'social funds' loans have stopped, many local councils are running a scheme for people in a crisis. It varies from area to area, but it may be worth asking your council.

As for the diabetes, can you phone your hospital and have an urgent chat with a DSN?

It sounds like you're having an incredibly stressful time at the moment.
 
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deannatrois

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Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
My LL has refused to insulate the loft when the bedrooms were too cold for the kids to sleep in.., my younger son's roof had a hole in it from an uncapped chimney. All this was shown to the land lord. He refused to do it. I had to remove chimney breast removal rubble and insulate the roof two months after an MI and with asthma. It wasn't pleasant. I had to get someone to put a false ceiling in my younger son's room so he could use it to sleep in, along with two layers of insulation to try and stop the 'breeze' that blew in his room.

I have also had to replace a mouldy bathroom - all the tiles were black..,the LL just laughed if I hit a problem. I did it as inexpensively as possible and as I'm good at DIY it looks like a couple of grand have been spent on it, I spent £300 on it. the LL said it looked fine to him when I asked for him to do something about it. I couldn't bath in a mouldy bathroom so I did it.

The laminate floors are buckling and bits flaking off. I pointed out to the LL that the floors had been fitted with no wall gap to allow for expansion. He said it looks ok to him (again).

He has consistently said he will replace the boiler (with the wrong circuit board fitted - the gas safe engineer said it was the only one he had and he'd put the right one in next week. Not seen him again.) The boiler has not been replaced since (two years). It breaks down frequently.

Only one plug socket in the kitchen works, the rest lead off a light circuit and anything I plug in trips the fuse box. The LL has had a couple of people round to look at it. They've told me that the place needs rewiring, but the LL denies they ever said this to him.

I will be paying the court costs, not the LL. The LL doesn't give a ****. Does he sound like someone who will 'loan' me nearly £2k? I fully anticipate having problems getting any deposit back off him. He has already tried to insist I pay for repairs he should be paying for. When the back hallway flat roof fell in, he tried to say it was my fault (the only fault was it fell on my foot). It was only when the builders he got in said there were two layers of decaying flat roof up there with boards recognised as being used 25 years ago he stopped threatening me. I also let the insurers in that he got the money back from.

He has insisted I repaint the house before he sent viewers round (because he said he was going to try and get other perspective LL's round so I'd still be able to rent. I'm afraid you will have to believe me when I say the viewers were not prospective LL's.., they were home buyers.., but I was so desperate to not lose our home given the rarity of LL's who will accept benefit recipients in this area that I swallowed what he said and repainted the place. Caused me a lot of pain cause of back problems. But I did it.

We are not too far from London so its cheap here compared to London.., people are moving here from London so there are far more perspective tenants than properties.. , LL's can pick and chose their tenant. Benefit tenants are not top of the list even though I have never failed in my rent and the place is well looked after.

The main problem with private rentals is LHA is £750, private rentals for even basic terraced 3 beds is £950. I can't afford to top up to this level. Particularly in view of loan repayments on top of this (see below).


I had a council loan for first month's rent and deposit. it cost me £60 a month and I did struggle to pay it back. Another loan will be more. Budgeting loans have even higher rates of pay back. I stopped using them some years ago - last one for £400 I had to pay £26 a week. No one could afford that.

I need social housing. I have been very very lucky to live here for four years. This is rare. Can you imagine moving every six months or every year.., paying admin fees every time? Maybe having to go to court or argue to get just some of the deposit back. LL's aren't the people you seem to think (and I thought before I got into this).

This private rental, while it is a roof over my head has been a nightmare from beginning to end. I've been given notice twice for asking for repairs. He is not pleasant to deal with and frightens me cause of the notice. If I won't do what he says, he threatens to give notice, every time. I'm not confrontational .., but I do get very stressed at his way of handling things. I just want to run and hide when he knocks on the door because I know whatever he wants it won't be good for us. It never has been.

But I can't move from the area either. I moved here from Wolverhampton. I moved from there for a reason.., I couldn't get any services for my kids at all. I couldn't even get schools to begin to meet their needs. I moved here and was able to do all that. We do need to stay here.

I don't want to go into shared lettings, I know it won't be good for my sons. The older one needs quiet for destressing which won't be possible in one room with his younger brother around. Neither of them sleeps well.

So I do need social housing. But appreciate it won't be easy to get.
 
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azure

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Sorry you've had so much trouble with your house - it sounds awful for you.

it sounds like you've tried everything. Do you have any friends or relatives that you can talk to, even if it's just on the phone?
 

deannatrois

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Messages
24
Type of diabetes
Type 1
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Insulin
I am sorry, I know this sounds like a made up sob story. Unfortunately it is real, and I expect I'm not the only one in this situation. I have got Shelter helping. Am already on the housing list but with priority Band D.., well don't hold your breath. Houses normally go to A, B and occasionally C bands. Once I go into emergency shared lettings housing (the one room scenaria) I will be C banding.., but will be bidding against others who've been C band for longer. We could be there quite a while. Housing say a year.

Housing just won't take into account stress factors when looking at banding..,only things directly related to where you are living. Apparently some boroughs do this, and I'm living in one of them. Nothing I can do. I've confirmed with Shelter that this is how it works and yes, there's nothing I can do to get us reprioritised. All I can do is hope to get us into a one bed flat (which still won't be ideal with two sons who stress and don't sleep well) rather than the one room arrangement with shared lettings (where both kids will have no hope of going to a quiet place and destressing). Its wrong.., but I just have to concentrate on what I can do. So wish there was some justice in this. But I can't afford to get worked up about it.

No I'm afraid there's no family or friends. All I do is care., I might have ASD myself (waiting for assessment).., as time has gone on, I've become more and more isolated. My own fault. Had a few knock backs and just sort of got used to being on my own. Can't explain it really. There's just something wrong with me, but I've accepted that and I'm happier on my own not wandering all the time what I've said that was inappropriate this time. I dread meeting people I'm afraid. I never know if I'm saying things the right way, or being inappropriate and its embarrassing. I always put people off. I don't mean to but i do. I prefer writing when communicating because of this cause I can look at what I've said and go back and change it if I think its a bit off. I dread phone conversations even. But the good thing about it is I can function.., and I can empathise with my sons, if that makes sense. I always did understand why there were difficulties for them and I've worked hard to help them develop and grow. It was very tough for me. ASD didn't even come into question when I was growing up. I wonder how much (if I have it) that caused the problems there were. I've lost every job I had because of my communication skills. Its only been the last few months I've started wondering if I have it too. Its not like I get aggressive or anything like that..,I just don't react quite the right way, particularly in 'instant reaction' situations so I never fitted in.., and of course fitting in is important with jobs. But the good thing about that, although I'd never have wanted it, is I'm able to be at home with my kids. It really is more than a full time job lol! I adore them, and I just want to make things as good as I can for them. I've accepted and am at peace with the fact that I just don't do 'friends' I'm a lot happier now I've accepted that.

The sliding scale of quick acting is still working .., very very grateful. No hypos in 36 hours. It makes quite a difference.

Spent a long time talking to Diabetes UK yesterday. It really helped to talk to someone who wasn't assuming I 'must' be doing something wrong. They're going to refer me to an advocate at Diabetes UK. I know they won't be able to help with the housing but it was just so good to talk to someone about the diabetes, explain what I'm doing and not be treated like I must be doing something wrong because my blood sugars aren't doing what they are supposed to, theoretically. Its always been a bit off, and it can be quite frustrating talking to people about it cause they always seem to assume you're ten and must be binging, must be incapable, not taking it seriously etc etc.

And thank you very much for letting me talk on here. It does help. I was quite scared when I started posting. Much better with the posting and now diabetes is behaving a bit better.
 
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Pipp

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You need an advocate. Have you informed your MP of all that you are having to endure?
 
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Shar67

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It is a very sad fact of life, there isn't enough social housing or the type of social housing for people with vulnerabilities. The homelessness in this country is beyond a joke. There is a a very uneven job situation in the UK, there is plenty of social housing but not in the places where there is jobs, everyone is cramming into cities.
I would hate to live in private rented property, the law is so rubbish at protecting tenants, it is a failing of our society as a whole.
 
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lovinglife

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Glad you are feeling better even if most of your problems haven't been solved, it's typical of this day and age, have you tried the Salvation Army, they sometimes have short term housing for those in need.
 

deannatrois

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Messages
24
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Yes I did inform the MP. I suspect the information I gave him was a bit overwhelming. But he's already said he can't interfere with local housing. I did write to him about the education problems of my older son (basically in spite of working hard, not having any behavioural problems the college have said they don't see he can pass the second year of his course, of course it has no connection at all that just before that they wrote saying if I could provide proof of support in previous education, they'd support him.., so I did that, so they now have to give him support). Suddenly he's not able to complete his course. This has never come up before. So now he's NEET, which doesn't help. My MP has written to the head of the county council.
 
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deannatrois

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Shelter is my advocate.., problem is there's not a lot they can do with the system set up the way it is. There's just no way to get my priority where it should be. I find it quite shocking, but you have to deal with what is.