My Wife Refuses Insulin

Cant_help_her

Member
Messages
24
Type of diabetes
Family member
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
I have a wife who will not 'do' doctors ..thankfully she is in good health, and not diabetic ..but I know if she needed any non emergency treatment (She has had broken bones fixed) she would refuse treatment. She is quite strong and is active in anti vivisection campaigns .. and this the reason she avoids any medication, or any products that are tested on animals.

On the other hand she sorts out my many medications for my heart failure .. so is not enforcing her way of thinking on me.

My point is ... I have to support and respect her decision .. yes if anything should happen to her I will find it desperately hard to support her decision. At the end of the day its her body ..

Try to support your wife's decision .. who knows maybe if she sees your supporting her in this she may change her mind and take the medication

Hope this helps to give you a different perspective on her actions
I am having a hard time watching a beautiful strong active woman slowly and painfully die before my eyes. I do appreciate the respect aspect but if you see what I have been seeing you may change that or not. She is only a shell of what she was and nobody should put another person through that really I do know what your saying though ....thanks
 

ButtterflyLady

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,291
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
Dislikes
Acceptance of health treatment claims that are not adequately supported by evidence. I dislike it when people sell ineffective and even harmful alternative health products to exploit the desperation of people with chronic illness.
I know the answer is no ...already tried 50 times ...she says no to testing because she knows they are high so here optimal is 5.5 - 7.5, hers have been as high as 28 for long periods of time and have even crested 30 the meter we had then only went to 30. most people would have been passed out or in a coma and have no idea why she wasn't, At the hospital 10 days ago they were 21
Just to clarify, did you mean that she says no to you attending appointments or being given medical info? If so, that does make things harder. While HCPs can't give out personal information without consent, there is nothing stopping you writing to them and sharing your views and information about what she is like at home. They might be able to influence her, but it is a long shot.

If she doesn't want to test at home, there is probably no point in trying to get her to do it, when it's clear the result will be high. Better to focus on getting her to have medical appointments and get tested there.

There is, however, a serious medical condition you need to be aware of, if you're not already, that a T2 can develop with very high sugar levels. I don't want to add to your worries but knowing about the condition may help if she starts to show signs of it. Maybe you can negotiate that if she appears to be developing this condition, she will do a BG test to help her/you decide about her going to hospital for treatment. It's not ideal of course, but if she becomes semi conscious, then calling an ambulance and shuffling her onto a stretcher is one way to get her to hospital. This condition can occur when her BG levels are above 33 for some time (and the home BG meters only go up to 33, higher than that and they say "HI". Here is the info:
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/diabetes-complications/hyperosmolar-hyperglycemic-nonketotic-syndrome.html
 
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Cant_help_her

Member
Messages
24
Type of diabetes
Family member
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
Just to clarify, did you mean that she says no to you attending appointments or being given medical info? If so, that does make things harder. While HCPs can't give out personal information without consent, there is nothing stopping you writing to them and sharing your views and information about what she is like at home. They might be able to influence her, but it is a long shot.

If she doesn't want to test at home, there is probably no point in trying to get her to do it, when it's clear the result will be high. Better to focus on getting her to have medical appointments and get tested there.

There is, however, a serious medical condition you need to be aware of, if you're not already, that a T2 can develop with very high sugar levels. I don't want to add to your worries but knowing about the condition may help if she starts to show signs of it. Maybe you can negotiate that if she appears to be developing this condition, she will do a BG test to help her/you decide about her going to hospital for treatment. It's not ideal of course, but if she becomes semi conscious, then calling an ambulance and shuffling her onto a stretcher is one way to get her to hospital. This condition can occur when her BG levels are above 33 for some time (and the home BG meters only go up to 33, higher than that and they say "HI". Here is the info:
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/diabetes-complications/hyperosmolar-hyperglycemic-nonketotic-syndrome.html
I try to watch for that but my job takes me from home for 9.5 hours a day and I work nights during winter months witch helps with getting her to appointments but longer hours away up to 13. She wont let me into her appointments but I know who they are with ..Heart, kidney, circulation ,eyes ( they have been bleeding) etc so things are getting worse inside to and I see the back pain so I know its her kidneys .. blah
 

Molly56

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,844
Type of diabetes
Don't have diabetes
Treatment type
I do not have diabetes
@Cant_help_her ...just following on from @CatLadyNZ 's comment above there is also a potential issue with forxiga which was highlighted on a thread here a short while ago....just something that perhaps you should be aware of...
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/warning-if-taking-foxiga-dapiflagifloxin.80481/#post-899963
....thankfully my partner has not suffered any such side effects from forxiga to date but it is useful to know what to look out for...your wife's healthcare team should be aware of this and be monitoring her while she is on this medication...
 
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Cant_help_her

Member
Messages
24
Type of diabetes
Family member
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
@Cant_help_her ...just following on from @CatLadyNZ 's comment above there is also a potential issue with forxiga which was highlighted on a thread here a short while ago....just something that perhaps you should be aware of...
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/warning-if-taking-foxiga-dapiflagifloxin.80481/#post-899963
....thankfully my partner has not suffered any such side effects from forxiga to date but it is useful to know what to look out for...your wife's healthcare team should be aware of this and be monitoring her while she is on this medication...
Yes I will thanks ....geez that had promise at first
 

Pinkorchid

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,927
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
You said her diet is awful so what exactly what does she eat. Just bad diet and diabetes alone would not have brought her to the place she is at now there must be other things for example like having other medical conditions that affect her.
 

Enclave

Well-Known Member
Retired Moderator
Messages
2,602
Type of diabetes
Type 2 (in remission!)
Treatment type
Diet only
Now I was only diagnosed 2 years ago .. but can clearly remember how I felt at the time of being told by my diabetic nurse that
I was T2 and i will need to be on medication for the rest of my life .. And I WILL get completions later down the line .. like having to have my feet amputated and may go blind ... nothing i can do but follow the eat well plate ..eat more carbs and drink fizzy drinks if I feel unwell. My wife was with me at the time ..but sat in a far corner and told not to interrupt !! So I left that day feeling like my life was over .. Nothing left to do but die a very painful death ... It was like a punch in the gut by an unseen and uncaring nothing ... So for three months I did as I was told to do ... ate more carbs .. feeling even more rubbish now and drank the sugar laden fizzy drinks as ordered ... after three months i went back for a blood test .. ordered not to test at home .. my sugars were now through the roof ... I was given medication that made me ever more unwell ... I was ready to end it all .... then luckily for me the wife stepped in .. got things into perspective .. I have survived a few heart attacks and open heart surgery .. so diabetes was just one more challenge ..not going to follow medical advice any more and I have got my life back .. big time ..I am a low carb high fat eater now and feel younger and fitter than I have for years ......
So my point in sharing this with you .... is .. your wife is being 'cared' for by a well meaning medical profession .. that are following guide lines .. that are making diabetes sound like its the end of the world .. that give no hope for your wife to fight it.. insulin for her is the end of the line .. I was told it would be for me ... so she's not wanting to go there ....
I think you need to get your wife to read these forums ... She may still be able to make her quality of life a lot better without going on to insulin .. There is a saying ..you are what you eat .. The government guide lines for eating with T2 diabetes are clearly out of date ... So see if you can give your wife some hope for a more positive future.

You may be reading your wife refusal to go on insulin as I don't want to get better .. but in reality could she be thinking insulin will hasten the end of the line for her and she's not ready to leave you all yet!
 
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Indy51

Expert
Messages
5,540
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
You said her diet is awful so what exactly what does she eat. Just bad diet and diabetes alone would not have brought her to the place she is at now there must be other things for example like having other medical conditions that affect her.
Why would you say it must be something else? Unless I missed something, everything the OP is describing is exactly what would happen from uncontrolled diabetes over many years. Exactly the kind of stuff that most of us are told on diagnosis about the "natural progression of the disease"?
 
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G

graj0

Guest
. . . . . I can't get my head around what to eat what not to eat, . . . .

I could be over simplifying things, but it's best to avoid anything that raises your blood glucose so avoid carbohydrates and sugar is a carb. The obvious carbs are easy, bread, pasta, rice and potato. There's carbs in loads of things but at least there will be info on the packet to help you decide whether to eat it or not.
 
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Jaylee

Oracle
Retired Moderator
Messages
18,213
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Hi @Cant_help_her

... Or maybe you can? If you could get yer wife to log in & talk to Ds "first hand", I may give her some control back with your support?
If your concerned about your wife seeing this thread & getting spooked at the idea? I'm sure the mods or admin can exercise discretion on your part by either editing or removing this topic on your request.

Wishing you luck!
 
G

graj0

Guest
Ive been married about 28 years, my wife was diagnosed with type 2 about 20 years ago and was warned that if she didn't look after it insulin would follow. About 15 years ago she was told that she needed insulin and she made a few attempts to take but gave up. Now she is in serious trouble and still refuses treatment!! is there anyone out there that deals with the same thing and could just talk to me?. We just had a 4 day hospital visit for a foot infection and she refused to start insulin and told them she never would. I don't need to tell anyone here what not taking insulin does to a body after that time but its so tough to watch. Any real advice would help not looking for silly replies thank you

It's usually the husbands who resist. Other forum members have mentioned it already and as your wife is already ignoring medical advice about going on to insulin, is she ignoring their advice about eating loads of carbs? Eating loads of carbs like they advise is a very bad idea.

I was at the point where my GP wanted me to start taking insulin and I wasn't against the idea but at the same time I was also trying to lose weight and fed up with eating less, exercising more and getting nowhere (partially down to a ******** up metabolism and not totally unconnected to the meds I was taking). I was advised by a nutritional therapist to avoid carbs which was totally against what my GP had been saying in the past. My new GP wasn't against (or for) the plan but warned me of falling BG readings which is exactly what happened. To the extent that I was able to throw away the Gliclazide, the Januvia and the statin and have never needed to think about insulin, in fact after I paid for a c-peptide test, and I know my pancreas actually produces normal amounts of insulin without encouragement from Gliclazide or Januvia.

So, I'd say "CUT THE CARBS" if she hasn't done so already.

You mention that she tried insulin 15 years ago, did they have the Insulin Epipen then? My father is type II on insulin (he eats like they tell him on the "Eatwell Plate") and so scared of needles that I can't even say the word without him going a strange colour. Even he manages to use the Epipen.

Sadly, and I feel for you, you've either got to read the riot act. I remember visiting my father in hospital for six weeks because of a toe infection (and amputation). I was becoming more and more ill myself because of the traveling. M40, M25, A3M was just too much on a daily basis, I had to read the riot act, I had to say "no more visits, I can't do it". He takes his condition a little more seriously these days.

All the best
 

Mep

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,461
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Insulin
oh so sad to hear this... it must be very hard for you and the rest of the family too. I've had type 2 for 17 years and I had to go on insulin in 2010 as I don't produce enough of my own insulin. Also just a thought maybe your wife has heard the line "if you don't look after yourself you will have to go on insulin" and has taken it as a threat and so she feels she will be living a self fulfilled prophecy if she goes on insulin? Maybe she doesn't like the defeat aspect? I would be trying to paint a different picture with her if this is at the heart of the issue. Personally I think this line that is used is very wrong. I looked after myself well and still wound up on insulin. People really need to be careful what they're saying to others about how to manage their conditions. Also there are well managed diabetics who still get complications... it's not a case of you're guaranteed to avoid complications if you manage well. My great aunt is living proof of that... she is so tight with her diabetes management and she still managed to get leg and feet ulcers. Also it could be that your wife is depressed too... perhaps just experiencing the burn out of being chronically ill and so over it. She sounds like she needs professional help, and I would say you would benefit too to get professional counselling as it can't be easy. I hope tables turn and things look up for your wife and your family.
 
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Rosina_Rushen

Newbie
Messages
3
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Insulin
Hi.
I am type 2 diabetic and mine where very bad where I gave up taking my insulin. I was on 1800 units a day which is about 6 pens a day. I told diabetic team about my problem and they understood. But my only option was weight loss surgery just for my diabetes. This might be a solution as there are soo many people who was on insulin is now not a diabetic and take tablets or no diabetes medication. Your diabetic team can help with the referral. But I think this might be the best option
 

AndBreathe

Master
Retired Moderator
Messages
11,320
Type of diabetes
I reversed my Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
Hi.
I am type 2 diabetic and mine where very bad where I gave up taking my insulin. I was on 1800 units a day which is about 6 pens a day. I told diabetic team about my problem and they understood. But my only option was weight loss surgery just for my diabetes. This might be a solution as there are soo many people who was on insulin is now not a diabetic and take tablets or no diabetes medication. Your diabetic team can help with the referral. But I think this might be the best option

Gosh - That's an incredible amount of insulin you were taking!

What is your status now? Are you still diabetic? I understand many people who undergo weight loss surgery often go back across the line. If you are still diabetic, what medication regime are you on these days?

Well done on finding a way forward.
 
Messages
1
Type of diabetes
Family member
Treatment type
Insulin
My husband has been a diabetic since he was 19, he is now 45. He was put on insulin straight away. He gets very angry that he is diabetic. This has meant he has not looked after it properly and is now dealing with the consequences. You don't necessarily put weight on with insulin, my husband is to be honest like a rake. That gets him down as nothing he does puts the weight on him.

I think it is a very dangerous thing to say to your wife that you and the rest of your family are starting to plan her funeral; this may send her into a deeper depression. Could you not show her these messages of support instead to show her she is not on her own? I think a way forward could be to sit her down when it is just the 2 of you and start a conversation with her. Ask her why she can't do the insulin, what are her fears and maybe see the diabetic nurse at your doctors or at the diabetic clinic. They maybe helpful.

The needles my husband uses are tiny and don't cause any pain. He is on the novo pen treatment, show her what the needles look like (at your diabetic clinic obviously!). Your wife may be thinking the needles are the long twice daily syringes. They don't need to be.

It is a horrible, depressing illness but if she could get on top of it a near as possible "normal" life can be lead. I really hope you both find that support that is needed soon. Good luck to you both.xx
 
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Kyi

Well-Known Member
Messages
293
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
Like most of the T2 who are following the low carbohydrate high fat diets I concur with it. Do you know what her vitamin B's and D is like. The reason why I ask is you have to get her depression under control before you can tackle her diabetes. Since taking my vitamins I feel like I want to try to improve my diabetes. The depression is holding her back. I seriously would get the Drs to confirm she isnt vitamin D deficient. Switching her diet to a LCHF will improve not only the diabetes but also the depression. If you keep harping on about the diabetes you are making her depression worst. She is already in a lot of pain that she is switching off from, what make you think you adding more will improve her? You can not treat her in this condition, shes not listening. I am betting she never goes out except to see the medical specialists, never does anything good for herself, like buying something special just for her. Stop seeing her as not doing stuff and start encouraging her to treat herself with respect. Book a hair appointment, treat her to nice low carb dinner, buy flowers, show her you care and she needs to care too. She will come around. She needs to talk to people who are dealing with the same issues as herself so she can open back up and look how to fix herself.
 
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Jenny W

Newbie
Messages
1
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Insulin
I would like to share my story.

I was hospitalised and diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes in Feb this year. My blood glucose level was as high as 17. My doctor started me straight into insulin, 20 units everyday. I am now very glad he did that as I was able to control the amount of insulin accurately.

I was given metformin for 2 months after which I had severe nerve pain on both my both feet. I consulted 4 doctors who gave me stronger and stronger pain killers but did nothing to alleviate my pain. The extreme nerve tingling pain stopped when I met a doctor who gave an me B12 injection. I later learnt from the internet that metformin causes B12 deficiency. I am now on B12 and have thrown metformin out of the window.

My Doctor also prescribed atorvastatin for my cholesterol. Again this medication nearly killed me with all the nerve tingling and snapping pain. I took my own supplement and I am very happy to report that my condition has improved and there is hope after all.

Now I am injecting only 10 units of insulin everyday. My recent blood test report stated that my body has started to produce my own insulin and is near the low end of the acceptable range. All thanks to my supplement and insulin.



Thanks to my gradual reduction of medication and taking of supplement to improve my health.
 
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jennieccles

Newbie
Messages
2
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
Ive been married about 28 years, my wife was diagnosed with type 2 about 20 years ago and was warned that if she didn't look after it insulin would follow. About 15 years ago she was told that she needed insulin and she made a few attempts to take but gave up. Now she is in serious trouble and still refuses treatment!! is there anyone out there that deals with the same thing and could just talk to me?. We just had a 4 day hospital visit for a foot infection and she refused to start insulin and told them she never would. I don't need to tell anyone here what not taking insulin does to a body after that time but its so tough to watch. Any real advice would help not looking for silly replies thank you
To be honest I don't think there is anything you can do other than love her and support her in whatever way she needs. Your wife sounds so much like myself, I have refused insulin but do take Metformin and Glicazide. I have Neuropathy and Mortons Neuroma so using my feet and hands is so painful. I too am on anti depressants, two lots infact one for the neuropathy the other for depression. Diabetes has beaten me and caused so many other auto immune conditions that basically I have just given up. I try to lose weight all the time, exercise is more or less impossible, take over 30 meds a day.
I really can identify with your wife, you must be so frustrated and torn up but really its her life and her choice. Just love her dont fight her or her decisions in fact dont even mention them. Concentrate on enjoying each other, your family and life. I know you mean well but you could be pushing her further into depression and stubborness. Change your behaviour and you may see a change in hers. xx