My Wife Refuses Insulin

[jennieccles]

Like most of the T2 who are following the low carbohydrate high fat diets I concur with it. Do you know what her vitamin B's and D is like. The reason why I ask is you have to get her depression under control before you can tackle her diabetes. Since taking my vitamins I feel like I want to try to improve my diabetes. The depression is holding her back. I seriously would get the Drs to confirm she isnt vitamin D deficient. Switching her diet to a LCHF will improve not only the diabetes but also the depression. If you keep harping on about the diabetes you are making her depression worst. She is already in a lot of pain that she is switching off from, what make you think you adding more will improve her? You can not treat her in this condition, shes not listening. I am betting she never goes out except to see the medical specialists, never does anything good for herself, like buying something special just for her. Stop seeing her as not doing stuff and start encouraging her to treat herself with respect. Book a hair appointment, treat her to nice low carb dinner, buy flowers, show her you care and she needs to care too. She will come around. She needs to talk to people who are dealing with the same issues as herself so she can open back up and look how to fix herself.

My advice exactly!

 

[M.E.diabetic]

This is just a guess, but a guess from someone who has been there, not in actually refusing to take insulin but in kind of giving up on the whole diabetes thing when the insulin regime I was put on was not only not working well, with the amount I took having to keep going up, but also causing galloping weight gain when I was already very obese. I am guessing that your wife feels exhausted, angry, bitter, depressed, too ill to care, at the end of her tether, like the world is making impossible demands on her, the professionals are all judging and telling her she must do stuff she feels she can't cope with and doesn't work, like losing weight when they want to put her on something that will only make that even harder, The feelings of her family about what is going on are just one more pressure she can't cope with. It's burn out. She clings to eating all the wrong stuff because it makes her feel temporarily comforted in a world that feels very challenging and frightening and bent on taking everything she enjoys away. I also have M.E. and a grown up son with autism so other challenges in life and diabetes just seemed like too much- does your wife also have other pressures on her in life she is struggling with? I wanted it all to go away but had gotten myself in a mental world where I was working against just that happening. I suggest you take pressure off, because pressure will only entrench her. She has to come to the point where she is ready to do battle with diabetes again by herself and at the minute she is feeling too ill and too defensive. She may not be able to cope with discussing it with family due to feeling their emotions. I think she needs a combination of counselling and online friends with diabetes that have been there and understand this and have come out the other side. Perhaps you could start by reading this out to her and asking if this is how she feels.

 

[graj0]

Her diet is terrible and always has been and that's not going to change.

Is there a reason for that? I seem to have read that she won't take insulin, she doesn't test her BG, she won't go for blood tests and she won't change her diet. Have I missed something?

Is there a chicken and egg thing going on? Does the depression cause an inability to deal with diabetes or does the diabetes cause the depression?

I didn't want diabetes but I did want to live, I'm not afraid of shuttling up my mortal coil but determined that it won't be because of diabetes.

Changing the diet could possibly be the one thing that would help with both problems. I'm not going to pretend it would be a cure but diet and more importantly nutrition is essential for good health.

Unfortunately all I can do is make suggestions, you are faced with the unenviable task of getting a loved one to start thinking of her family who all love her, and do what she has to, to be well for them.

Good luck!

 

[vix107]

Ive been married about 28 years, my wife was diagnosed with type 2 about 20 years ago and was warned that if she didn't look after it insulin would follow. About 15 years ago she was told that she needed insulin and she made a few attempts to take but gave up. Now she is in serious trouble and still refuses treatment!! is there anyone out there that deals with the same thing and could just talk to me?. We just had a 4 day hospital visit for a foot infection and she refused to start insulin and told them she never would. I don't need to tell anyone here what not taking insulin does to a body after that time but its so tough to watch. Any real advice would help not looking for silly replies thank you

ive been type 1 for 26 yrs and im still very needlephobic however speak to her gp and if you ask for an insulin pen which is compatible with a pen mate I bet she will be fine.. if I can do it so can she!!! the pen mate put the needle in so all you have to do is push the insulin in at the end... literally no biggie!!!, she will get ill to the point of death eventually if she doesn't make a real effort to overcome her fears!!! I wish you both the best of luck x

 

[Cathn61may]

I am scared of injection, petrified in fact. But having Type 1 for 48 years since the age of 6. I have always insisted on doing my own. If anyone has to give me an injection or take bloods, insert a cannula. I am panicking like a looney. I just take a deep breath and do not look. The pain is for a second. Please tell your wife the foot infection is a warning of worse things to come if she does not starting having her injections. Fingers crossed.

 

[AndBreathe]

I think some of the suggestions on this thread are getting a bit out of hand. Whilst we all probably feel frustrated that this lady doesn't appear to see value in her life or much consideration for her loved ones who are looking in on all of this, I doubt some of the suggestions are credible ways forward.

Of course, this isn't my thread, and I'm not the forum's decency monitor, but can we please just show a little consideration for how the OP must be feeling?

 

[mrspuddleduck]

Hi again @Cant_help_her , I know you've been reading some of the replies to your wife, so just wondered how's it going today? Did any of them help at all? Did she show any interest? Perhaps if it did, she may have some questions to ask which you can always ask on her behalf (may be better to start a new thread if its a specific question). Don't worry if she isn't interested yet, hopefully if you stay on the forum there will be something raised that strikes a chord! And of course we are here for you too! Hows her feet today? Meanwhile say hi from me, Sue xxxx

 

[azure]

Please can we keep our suggestions sensitive. Although it might be hard to understand this lady's reluctance to take insulin, the OP has asked for our help and clearly wants to support his wife. He's also told us she's depressed. Please can we be a just a little more careful about what we suggest.

Thank you -

Azure

 

[Arrow-maker]

Bizarrely I was reminiscing with my doctor about when I was first diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and mentioned that I was first using the old glass and metal syringes, which as a 13 year old I was terrified of (at 50 years old I still fear needles !). The nurses in the hospital where I was "balanced" mentioned that there was a thing called a hypoguard, which is basically a sleeve that covers the needle as you're doing the injection, so out of sight out of mind. So to cut a long story short it was sufficiently successful for me to be asked to stay in a couple of extra days to help another guy who was hopitalised with T1 same time as me, who just could not stick a needle in his leg. Now the hypoguard may not be available any more but ask your wife's doctor if there's any similar equipment, there's always a solution, you'll find it.
P.s. I still have to count to 5 when I'm doing my injections...

 

[Webb_1958]

Ive been married about 28 years, my wife was diagnosed with type 2 about 20 years ago and was warned that if she didn't look after it insulin would follow. About 15 years ago she was told that she needed insulin and she made a few attempts to take but gave up. Now she is in serious trouble and still refuses treatment!! is there anyone out there that deals with the same thing and could just talk to me?. We just had a 4 day hospital visit for a foot infection and she refused to start insulin and told them she never would. I don't need to tell anyone here what not taking insulin does to a body after that time but its so tough to watch. Any real advice would help not looking for silly replies thank you

I'm type 2and on insulin I was like this at first but I have an insulin pen and the needles are very tiny took me about a week of trying but soon got used to the needles they don't even hurt I still get the odd days that I refuse my insulin but that only seems to be if I'm upset have been injecting now for 14 years so please try and encourage your wife but if she really dislikes needles could you not do it for her into her bottom so she doesnt have to see needle at all good luck inbox me if I can help in anyway x

 

[Cant_help_her]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to thank you all for talking to me , I know my wife and I are not alone and it is heartwarming to know there are good people in this world who do care. I just wanted you to know I took the advise I thought best for my wife and I and asked that she read all she can on the new methods and needles and med mixtures, diets that are out there or I will read it to her , We talked for hours and today we spoke with our kids and she has decided to stay with the Metformin Forxiga. She has gone over the side effects with her doctor, and internal doctor, and what is ahead for her without the insulin and we will have to cross those bridges when we come to them. I can only hope that one day her decision changes. I want to make it clear that I was asking for advice not trying to paint a bad picture of my wife she has been both a great mother and wife but has reasons of her own for making her decision, she struggles everyday but still manages to bug the **** out of me . Again I thank you all very much . I may check in from time to time on other posts and maybe get to chat with some of you Good luck and All the Best

 

[ButtterflyLady]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to thank you all for talking to me , I know my wife and I are not alone and it is heartwarming to know there are good people in this world who do care. I just wanted you to know I took the advise I thought best for my wife and I and asked that she read all she can on the new methods and needles and med mixtures, diets that are out there or I will read it to her , We talked for hours and today we spoke with our kids and she has decided to stay with the Metformin Forxiga. She has gone over the side effects with her doctor, and internal doctor, and what is ahead for her without the insulin and we will have to cross those bridges when we come to them. I can only hope that one day her decision changes. I want to make it clear that I was asking for advice not trying to paint a bad picture of my wife she has been both a great mother and wife but has reasons of her own for making her decision, she struggles everyday but still manages to bug the **** out of me . Again I thank you all very much . I may check in from time to time on other posts and maybe get to chat with some of you Good luck and All the Best

What were her reasons? I know you can't influence her to change her mind at the moment but I'm just curious, because I don't understand it.

If you can cook low carb food or encourage her to cook it, that would help reduce the damage she is doing.

 

[uart]

Hi.
I am type 2 diabetic and mine where very bad where I gave up taking my insulin. I was on 1800 units a day which is about 6 pens a day.

That is a staggering large amount of insulin! I've never heard anything even remotely close to that dose. Just to make this clear to people who aren't familiar with insulin, well less than one tenth of that dose would kill the average person. That is a totally crazy amount!

 

[Pinkorchid]

Why would you say it must be something else? Unless I missed something, everything the OP is describing is exactly what would happen from uncontrolled diabetes over many years. Exactly the kind of stuff that most of us are told on diagnosis about the "natural progression of the disease"?

Yes I agree that the lady in question has uncontrolled diabetes because of her bad diet and refusal to take the insulin but I also think that having other medical conditions can affect why some people find managing diabetes can be very difficult. For example depression I don't think if someone is very badly depressed they are going to bother very much about how they eat and so their diabetes will become uncontrolled

 

[Robinredbreast]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to thank you all for talking to me , I know my wife and I are not alone and it is heartwarming to know there are good people in this world who do care. I just wanted you to know I took the advise I thought best for my wife and I and asked that she read all she can on the new methods and needles and med mixtures, diets that are out there or I will read it to her , We talked for hours and today we spoke with our kids and she has decided to stay with the Metformin Forxiga. She has gone over the side effects with her doctor, and internal doctor, and what is ahead for her without the insulin and we will have to cross those bridges when we come to them. I can only hope that one day her decision changes. I want to make it clear that I was asking for advice not trying to paint a bad picture of my wife she has been both a great mother and wife but has reasons of her own for making her decision, she struggles everyday but still manages to bug the **** out of me . Again I thank you all very much . I may check in from time to time on other posts and maybe get to chat with some of you Good luck and All the Best

I know what is like to see someone destroy them selves and then it was apparent it was far too late when the drinking and other things stopped.
Maybe, just maybe, one day your wife will realise the harm she is doing to herself and her loved ones, good luck and I wish you all the very best. Take good care and I will leave you with this :-
No one can can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
All the very best, RRB

 

[blothom]

Ive been married about 28 years, my wife was diagnosed with type 2 about 20 years ago and was warned that if she didn't look after it insulin would follow. About 15 years ago she was told that she needed insulin and she made a few attempts to take but gave up. Now she is in serious trouble and still refuses treatment!! is there anyone out there that deals with the same thing and could just talk to me?. We just had a 4 day hospital visit for a foot infection and she refused to start insulin and told them she never would. I don't need to tell anyone here what not taking insulin does to a body after that time but its so tough to watch. Any real advice would help not looking for silly replies thank you

Hi, I have been exactly where your wife is, and can totally understand. I was in denial for so long, allowed my blood sugars to run so high, and ended up with two toes amputated, 9 months apart, and a silent heart attack, which required a stent. I never wanted to take insulin, hated taking medication, and honestly thought that at 58, I would rather just die than deal with it all. However, I started insulin, with a basal/bolus routine, which allows me to be flexible with meals/dosage, and makes me feel as though I am in control of the diabetes, rather than it controlling me, and now, two years later, I can honestly say it was the best decision I ever made. Yes, it is difficult at first, working out what you can eat, what effect it will have etc. but my neuropathy is not causing me any pain now, and the injections themselves are so easy with a pen, and totally painless, that I wonder why I was so scared. I hope she can come to the realisation that it is there to help, not make life more difficult, before she has to have a life changing, or even life saving. operation. Toes aren't too bad, but losing a foot or leg would be so much worse, and it happens so quickly once it starts. If she wants to speak to me, or ask any questions, I would be happy to help, as are so many people here on this forum. Hoping she changes her mind before things get worse. xxx

 

[Suzie Quartly]

Why dont you join slimming world. Not so much to lose weight but to learn about healthy eating. Insist that this is how you are going to eat and you want her to keep you company on this diet. She will/should lose weight and so her diabetes will become more controlable. Hopefully she will get a boost to her self esteem too and be less fed up with things

 

[Enclave]

Why dont you join slimming world. Not so much to lose weight but to learn about healthy eating. Insist that this is how you are going to eat and you want her to keep you company on this diet. She will/should lose weight and so her diabetes will become more controlable. Hopefully she will get a boost to her self esteem too and be less fed up with things

Don't think slimming world would help as they are still using the outdated eat well nice guidelines.

 

[ButtterflyLady]

Don't think slimming world would help as they are still using the outdated eat well nice guidelines.

Better than nothing though, and if it leads to weight loss, that may help?

 

[bambee3]

Hi, there are many reasons why a person refuses to take meds, insulin. As others have said depression does go in hand with diabetes. Maybe it is time to get a med review. I have nursed patients who give me all sorts of reasons why they won't take meds. A lady I had would not test her levels because she was too busy taking care of her diabetic sister. Another would not take her meds because she believed God would fix her. Like I said many reasons from the sublime to the ridiculous. Has a professional or someone scared her about taking insulin. My brother when he was first diagnosed would not eat sausages because he was told by a dietitian they would kill him. I have used scare tactics and it can go either way. Sounds like you need to have a good discussion with her dr if not for her but yourself. As a diabetic myself I have had days I don't want to test or take any more meds, I just take a few min think about the alternatives then get on with it. Final question do you go with her on her dr visits and sit in on the consult?... If not maybe you should and voice your feelings while in there. Sorry for the long response. Hope you can find some peace and help. Good luck.
Sandy