This is just a guess, but a guess from someone who has been there, not in actually refusing to take insulin but in kind of giving up on the whole diabetes thing when the insulin regime I was put on was not only not working well, with the amount I took having to keep going up, but also causing galloping weight gain when I was already very obese. I am guessing that your wife feels exhausted, angry, bitter, depressed, too ill to care, at the end of her tether, like the world is making impossible demands on her, the professionals are all judging and telling her she must do stuff she feels she can't cope with and doesn't work, like losing weight when they want to put her on something that will only make that even harder, The feelings of her family about what is going on are just one more pressure she can't cope with. It's burn out. She clings to eating all the wrong stuff because it makes her feel temporarily comforted in a world that feels very challenging and frightening and bent on taking everything she enjoys away. I also have M.E. and a grown up son with autism so other challenges in life and diabetes just seemed like too much- does your wife also have other pressures on her in life she is struggling with? I wanted it all to go away but had gotten myself in a mental world where I was working against just that happening. I suggest you take pressure off, because pressure will only entrench her. She has to come to the point where she is ready to do battle with diabetes again by herself and at the minute she is feeling too ill and too defensive. She may not be able to cope with discussing it with family due to feeling their emotions. I think she needs a combination of counselling and online friends with diabetes that have been there and understand this and have come out the other side. Perhaps you could start by reading this out to her and asking if this is how she feels.