Unsure what to do ?

[MacFee]

Well I have worked for my company for 15 years, and until recently had no problems , but a year ago 2 other work colleagues left so I work on my own , I have a boss but she doesn't do the same kind of work as me so takes minimal amount to do with me . I have got really stressed and snapped a couple of months ago saying I was suffering from extreme work stress and the doctor signed me on to less hours for a couple of months . I was getting behind in all my work because of lack of staff and support .

Anyway I asked to go to occupational health as my GP said it would good idea . Occupational health totally backed me and said I was covered by the equality act ( I suffered depression and stress before ) . And suggested things to make things easier for me like regular meetings more support etc .

So then my manager and HR have had regular meetings and they have been awful because I have had to say about run ins and lack of support from my boss , she took this very badly and now hates me and makes my life hell my appraisal was awful and totally makes me look like am awful at my job when I have been doing my best in a department that went from 3 of us to 1 .

The union are now involved and totally backing me and say I have nothing to worry about !

But now I was signed off with high blood pressure and work related stress last week And now they want me to go to occ health again but it's a 3 hour drive and I don't feel up to travelling , so have been offered a telephone appointment but not sure if that would do me any good !

Anyway i was diagnosed with T2 the other day and have not told my employers and actually don't want to tell them so where do I stand do I have to tell them ?

I also have something else Heath wise going on I don't want to tell them too as I don't know what it is I'm waiting a CT scan of my head as I have funny blood results and a headache for weeks .

Sorry all quite complicated !

I have only told close friends and don't want anyone else to know ? I'm very overweight and feel I can get it totally under control with diet and excercise so don't want to tell my employer unless I really have too. X

 

[AndBreathe]

Hello there. It does seem like you've got a lot going on at the moment, both with work and your health, so it's probable that some of your health issues may be impacting how well you're coping with the ongoing work problems. That's certainly not being said to diminish in any way how you feel, just to make comment.

Moving on.

You don't mention how long you have been signed off for, so I'll take a flier and assume it's a month/4 weeks.

To be fair to your employer, it sounds like they are trying to support you. If you are off with work related stress, at least they aren't just leaving you feeling abandoned, as some people report they feel in similar circumstances. However, as with many things in life, timing is everything.

Bearing in mind my assumptions around your time off, in your shoes, I would consider doing the following:

I would decide to use my time off to try to learn as much as I could about the newly diagnosed diabetes. This is a marvellous site, and I learned massive amounts from here when I was diagnosed almost 2 years ago. Ask plenty of questions, and people will help. Getting a handle on your diabetes is likely to buoy your mood, aside from anything else. You may be feeling "off" due to your diabetes, whether you realise it or not. Some people also do have headaches with uncontrolled diabetes. I'm not saying that explains your other issue, simply making comment.

Secondly, provided you are not expecting your employer to make any modifications to your workplace, and also assuming your job doesn't involve using dangerous machinery, I wouldn't feel for a moment you have an obligation to tell them about your diabetes, and certain not right now, and not whilst you are signed off work for other reasons. Your time off may allow you to think this through also and help you to decide how you will handle the discretion/disclosure dilemma (again very common), with the benefit of some time and knowledge under your belt.

Thirdly, I would contact OH and tell them that you don't feel up to a telephone consultation at the moment, and would really prefer something face to face. I would want to have a little time to move myself away from the presumably acute phase of your stress and anxiety. It's much easier to be balanced and negotiate a decent outcome when you're not feeling burnt out and hyper emotional, as can be typical at the stage you're at.

I don't believe it would necessarily be helpful to attempt to put OH onto a "don't call me, I'll call you" basis, but maybe you could agree a catch-up call in a couple of weeks to see how you feel about a meeting then? It is probably important you don't take this too quickly, as sometimes over-enthusiasm and hyper-commitment to an employer can lead to stress becoming a bit like a revolving door. The sufferer just comes off the bottom and goes back to work, but quickly tires and starts to sink again.

I'm not encouraging you, or anyone else to push the envelope and stretch the time they have off work, but it might be worth an open and frank discussion with your GP and see if he/she can give you an indication of how long you might expect to be away from work.

I've only been off work once with s stress related issue; after a difficult bereavement and starting a new job I didn't enjoy on the day back after my compassionate leave. I eventually just hit a wall and needed time away. At the outset, I thought a week or maybe two weeks. In the end, once I began to realise how up-tight and emotionally drained I was, I was away from work almost 3 months. It did me the power of good. I didn't miss the person I had had lost any less, but it allowed me to get into a better place to move forward from a role I really didn't enjoy, working for someone I couldn't respect. Looking back, I realise how fortunate I was being internally head-hunted a couple of months later into a big, big, challenging job that I loved, through to the day I left.

So, just take it steady and don't rush into things. A period of distance is probably important, and I'm pretty positive your employer won't object - provided you keep in contact with them, and make it plain you want the best outcome, which you believe will be best achieved by a little bit of separation, in the first instance.

Good luck with it all. You must feel like your juggling too, too many balls at the moment.

 

[MacFee]

Thank you yes 4 weeks , I have agreed for a work colleague to drive me to occupational health for the day I think that's better

Yes it's 4 weeks I have been signed off for , seems like forever and still waiting on my hospital appointment it's driving me crazy x

 

[Magsx1]

I needed 3 months off when my mother died, until then I was a very hard worker, always arriving early / leaving late,
The stress was awful,they never appreciated me,looking back now, I probably had T2 while at work, but have only just been diagnosed, looking back on my working life 42 yrs of it, I would never put up with what I "had" to, do yourself a favour and find something else to do, life is far too short.

 

[AndBreathe]

Thank you yes 4 weeks , I have agreed for a work colleague to drive me to occupational health for the day I think that's better

Yes it's 4 weeks I have been signed off for , seems like forever and still waiting on my hospital appointment it's driving me crazy x

Have you decided how you are going to handle the disclosure aspects? To be honest, my suggestion to defer the OH meeting was to allow yourself a little time to get your head around all that's going on. Even without driving, it'll be a long day for someone supposed to be resting up.

Assuming you do go next week, I'd suggest you really think through how you will handle questions around your physical health. It will be discussed; especially as you have been signed off with hypertension, as well as your stress. I find these things never come out to my best advantage if I do then "on the hoof". I am the sort of person who always prepares for meetings, so maybe that's just me.

How long have you been waiting for your hospital appointment (for your CT)?

 

[MacFee]

Hey sorry I haven't been on much thank you so much for your replies . I felt I had no choice to go to occupational health and felt a telephone consultation would not be to my advantage , I spoke to my GP and with my history of depression and stress issues she thinks OH will back me fully and say I'm covered by the equality act .

I discussed with the GP about not telling my employer about my diabetes and they said I had no need to and I'm going to keep it that way at the moment at least as you say until I get a handle on it and understand it fully myself .

I have a clinic appointment next week and hopefully get my CT scan then too ?

I'm thinking though the headaches are defiantly to do with my blood sugar as I was very high for first time in a week last night 11.8mmol and my head has been sore all day and I feel pretty rotten but last couple of days before that I was feeling ok ish xx