Butter On Prescription!

[SockFiddler]

I'm kidding. But wouldn't it be nice:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-40506573

A diabetic walks into their doc's office.

"It's Christmas. I can't have mince pies, goose-fat roasted spuds, stuffing or Christmas Pud. At least let me enjoy some brandy butter and fancy Chantilly cream. There's a shortage, you know."

"Mmmmm, I see," murmurs the doc, "And you'll be eating your butter and cream with..?"

"My family. They're terrible people. They'll carb load until they're all hyper, then pass out after lunch for three hours and I'll be left alone to watch The Queen and Morcambe and Wise."

"And cream and butter will get you through this crisis?"

"Absolutely."

"Fine. Here's a prescription. Present it at the check out at any major superstore."

"... on repeat?"

"Get out."

 

[HelenMW]

I must admit my first thought was that cream is my one and only Christmas treat! We really should get priority if there's a shortage lol

 

[douglas99]

Very much expected.
There was a report by, can't remember who, but some banker/investment company on here a few years ago predicting this, and also talking the price of fats up.

I'm pleased to say i put a few pounds into dairy products based on their advice.

 

[SockFiddler]

I really enjoyed this line of the story:

"At the moment, we are trying to get as much butter and cream out of our producers," he said.

"There's going to be a milk shortage, sir!"

"There's nothing else for it, Stibbons*, it's time for plan Extra Harvest."

"But... but sir... the Unions!"

"Unions be damned! We have a duty to overcharge people for their seasonal treats and we can't do that if we aren't producing any!"

"But milking the farmers?!"

*scene cuts to rows and rows of farmers in a Matrix-esque arrangement, all hooked up to state-of-the-art milking machines, while just a handful of NFU protesters stare through the window in dismay*





*In my universe, the underling / butler / sidekick of every Super Evil Overlord is called Stibbons. I haven't yet decided if it's the same guy or not.

 

[ickihun]

I vaguely remember butter being handed out for free when we joined the E.U in the 70s.
Maybe they need it all back now?
To oil the wheels of commerce?

 

[douglas99]

I really enjoyed this line of the story:



"There's going to be a milk shortage, sir!"

"There's nothing else for it, Stibbons*, it's time for plan Extra Harvest."

"But... but sir... the Unions!"

"Unions be damned! We have a duty to overcharge people for their seasonal treats and we can't do that if we aren't producing any!"

"But milking the farmers?!"

*scene cuts to rows and rows of farmers in a Matrix-esque arrangement, all hooked up to state-of-the-art milking machines, while just a handful of NFU protesters stare through the window in dismay*





*In my universe, the underling / butler / sidekick of every Super Evil Overlord is called Stibbons. I haven't yet decided if it's the same guy or not.

Simpsons had it covered.

 

[SockFiddler]

Haha! That Rat Episode!

And hey, why not? We seem to have a 70's Tribute Government (totally stole that from comedian Josie Long), we should totally get free butter (and cream!) now we're leaving the EU.

 

[douglas99]

Haha! That Rat Episode!

And hey, why not? We seem to have a 70's Tribute Government (totally stole that from comedian Josie Long), we should totally get free butter (and cream!) now we're leaving the EU.

Careful what you wish for.
If you want a tribute solution, Stork was introduced because of the last butter shortage!

 

[covknit]

Careful what you wish for.
If you want a tribute solution, Stork was introduced because of the last butter shortage!

My gran always used stork instead of butter. It tasted foul so we always chose bread and jam. I am sure my mum said she could never remember having anything else has a child. Borm 1933. A lot of people used it in WW2 because butter was hard to get apparently. Do not remember that myself.

 

[SockFiddler]

I used to buy "I can't believe it's not butter" and had this thing I'd do because it made Euan laugh so much. I'd stand up, furious, and raise my fists to heaven while exclaiming stuff along the lines of, "Bumble bees flying! 7 billion people on the plant! Voyager leaving the solar system! Of all the things that test my sense of reality, there is just one mystery that keeps me awake at night... I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THIS IS NOT BUTTER!"

With this week's shopping, Euan took up the salted lump of foil-wrapped yumminess and exclaimed "Finally! It's happened! I NO LONGER HAVE TO BELIEVE!"

 

[Deleted member 308541]

I vaguely remember butter being handed out for free when we joined the E.U in the 70s.

I remember on the tv news about the mountains of butter being destroyed as there was to much of it. Pretty much like paying farmers not to grow any crops.

We have plenty of dairy products here, but most of our surplus is sold to China, the Kiwi's have a fair bit as well they may give you a taste.

 

[SockFiddler]

There was an April Fools Joke when I was a kid that said that Australian farmers, following a bout of cattle-killing disease, were responding to the ensuing dairy shortage by experimenting with a new dairy industry - by milking kangaroos. It went into this whole thing about how roos are considered vermin and this would put them to good use, how particular machinery was required (and an interview with its inventor), about ethical complaints from the Aussie animal protection people... in short, it was brilliant.

Sadly, though, it was pre-digital (early - mid 80's), and while I've looked for the story, I can't find it online.

 

[Deleted member 308541]

There was an April Fools Joke when I was a kid that said that Australian farmers, following a bout of cattle-killing disease, were responding to the ensuing dairy shortage by experimenting with a new dairy industry - by milking kangaroos

I would like to to have seen that as well.

It would be plurry hard to put the milking thingies on the kangaroo's nipple in the pouch, have to chuck the baby joey out first before you could get at it.

 

[Kyambala]

IS THIS WHOLE THING JUST A JOKE - or is there some TRUTH in it?

 

[Lissajous]

Yeah, we tried milking the roos but only ever got milk shakes!

 

[Robinredbreast]

I remember this from a comedy show,The vicar of Dibley I can't believe it's not butter :-