the_anticarb
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Flowerpot said:Hello, my first post here. Reading the posts on diabulimia really struck a nerve.
I've been type 1 for 36 years and have endured two periods of diabulimia lasting about 10 years in total, although it didn't have a name 25 years back, just poor control or try a bit harder! It really is such a difficult condition to get to grips with especially when combined with diabetes. Rationally there should be no competition between choosing long term health over ill health and pretty much guaranteed complications but sadly there is. For about the last 15 years I have called an uneasy truce with it, the gremlins are still there but the reasonable me now has the upper hand. Switching to a pump 12 years ago probably saved my life, basal insulin goes in 24 hours a day and should I choose to have a thin day where I don't feel like eating very much it is manageable whilst maintaining normal glucose levels.
Sadly I didn't escape unscathed from my problems and have no sight in one eye, limited in the other, revoked driving licence, zero hypo awareness . However, you can move on from the all consuming problems you are facing with help, my diabetes team and dietician helped me greatly but it took time. Weight is still a paramount worry to me but being 6 stone doesn't suddenly make the world any better. In the 1970s and 80s the first comments I seemed to get at the diabetes clinic were "watch your weight" or "you have put 3 lbs on", not that I was ever overweight but the continual reference to weight really played havoc with me, I still can't face being weighed at my clinic.
You can reach a stage where it is possible to maintain a healthy weight whilst keeping good control but also keep the lid on the gremlins. Please don't despair, there is a happier balance when life does improve but it does take time and help.
A driving license revoke is my worst fear, well obviously full blindness is a lot worse but that doesn't seem as likely IYKWIM. Its possibly the only thing at the moment which I fear more than being a big fat ugly bloater, as the thought of not being able to drive is what actually makes me take my insulin each day.
Every time they say I need laser I get scared my visual field will reduce, I already have some field damage from my vitrectomy where they tore my retina but it's only in one eye so doesn't affect the binocular field.
I have a private consultant who assures me he can laser in such a way as to avoid the 'dvla window' but he charges around £1000 a time so I have to choose between spending a fortune or taking the risk with the field loss.
I'm hoping that after this pregnancy the retinopathy will stop progressing and maybe I'll get away with just one more laser but I know better than to second guess this disease.
Good luck to everyone with these problems