Disagreement is not rejection.

JohnEGreen

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"lol what's the DUCK forum ;) "

It's one where they all keep their heads down.
 

Fleegle

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A few people here have mentioned bullying on the forum as if it happens frequently (and it well might - I have no idea). I'm curious to see some examples of this behaviour - all I've seen is respectful disagreement and acceptance of differences. Bullying is a really strong word (and a divisive one) and it's easy to point a vague and general finger without citing examples.

Also: @Jaylee you skiver, get that nose back to the creaky grindstone. There's all that wheat to grind that no-one is going to eat!

Yes, you are right bullying is a strong word.
I went on a course when I worked for a consultancy firm who were really "correct" about everything and I remember being told that you cannot bully someone - they can only feel bullied. So giving an example of bullying (and I don't have any of those) may seem ok or borderline to someone else. It is how it makes that person feel. It is hard on a forum like this when you are trying to get opinions and experiences and people are quite rightly proud of how and what they have achieved.
 
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zand

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But I do remember the individuals that your referring to @Bluetit1802 in 2014, they too caused trouble and went on to set up their own forum, when they did start posting on their new forum all they did was ridicule the members, Mods, Admin and owners of the DUCK forum, some of the attacks were very personal, particular against the forum owner due to his race.

Now I am thinking back to why they did what they did. There's always a reason why someone behaves badly.

I remember posting in the Spring of 2014. I was quite a newbie then. Another real newbie (first and only post) entered a thread midway and asked 'can someone please tell me how to lose weight' . She didn't say she was diabetic, there was no info on her profile. I replied and suggested that she cut out/reduce the big 'white carbs' - bread, pasta, rice, flour and potatoes etc. The next poster was a prominent poster who didn't like the LCHF message. She said 'that's the problem with you LCHF folk, you just assume others can't eat things just because you can't, you don't tell them to use their meter to find out for themselves'. The question I answered was about weight loss, not blood glucose levels. I still consider I gave good general weight loss advice. I was really upset and actually cried. I felt bullied because I followed LCHF.

I had thought I was posting as me, zand, but apparently others thought I was part of a gang of LCHFers. So after that I was more aware of what was going on and 'sided' with 'more of my own kind'. I noticed others being bullied just because they were promoting LCHF. If this nastiness against those who followed LCHF had never happened then that other forum would never have been set up. We need to look at the bias that caused these actions, not the actions themselves. The bias 3 years ago was firmly against LCHF. Now though it's gone the other way and I can see the same thing happening in reverse.
 

noblehead

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Now I am thinking back to why they did what they did. There's always a reason why someone behaves badly.

Expect it's just in some peoples nature @zand , as much as we can search for an explanation there's no excuse for slander, ridicule and foul racist behaviour against other human beings, that sort of conduct & language will never win the day IMHO.

The bias 3 years ago was firmly against LCHF. Now though it's gone the other way and I can see the same thing happening in reverse.

Your experience with that member was unfortunate and understand you'd be upset at their comments. In answer to the above, low-carb/LCHF diets have always been promoted on the forum, even in the early days when the forum began. I' don't see the forum going one way or the other, if it did it would be to the detriment of the membership.
 

busydiabeticmum

Well-Known Member
Messages
441
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I reversed my Type 2
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I think there's loads of reasons why:

- People come here (often) when they've just received life-changing news (a diagnosis of diabetes for them or a loved one) and just need a place to feel connected briefly before getting on with their lives.

- People post once, but then enjoy reading more than posting.

- People introduce themselves, but aren't confident with typing (for loads of reasons - English as a second language, new to the internet, don't have regular PC access etc)

- People just don't want to connect to a community. They have support, they just don't quite know how to shape that to their diabetes.

- People ask for specific advice about a particular thing, get loads of input and then, problem solved, go their merry way.

- People might have joined more than one forum and picked a different one to us.

And then all the less nice ones.

And exit poll could be interesting, but how do you know when someone has left? You can read without logging in, so do then wait X amount of time since their IP last showed up? And if they're disengaged from us after that time, would they really take a moment to fill in a survey about what turned them off?

To many of us, this site is a key part of our strategy, and we cherish it for that. But it makes it easy to take implicit rejection ("Why doesn't everyone love us?! We're the best forum EVER!!") personally, too. That fact is, pleasing all the people all the time just isn't possible and it's okay if people don't universally think we're fab - there are lots and lots of people who get a lot out of being here, whether they post or lurk.

It's good for a community to take a health-check (like this thread), but stoicism is also good - all those phrases our mothers used to hand out to soothe our feelings are still relevant: "Takes all sorts..." and so on.
You missed signed up and then forgot login details etc, then couldn't be bothered to go through the hassle of sorting it out and would rather read because they are just too lazy (me being one of those sort)

In fact I was off for ages after first sign up because I couldn't remember the site address and then log in details (as well as not being sure if I was a member or not.) It ended up with just reading posts asked by other members that coincided with my needs, it wasn't until I realised that there was a question I could answer that I made an effort to sign in. I have since been a regular member and contributor.
 

librarising

Well-Known Member
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Now I am thinking back to why they did what they did. There's always a reason why someone behaves badly.

I remember posting in the Spring of 2014. I was quite a newbie then. Another real newbie (first and only post) entered a thread midway and asked 'can someone please tell me how to lose weight' . She didn't say she was diabetic, there was no info on her profile. I replied and suggested that she cut out/reduce the big 'white carbs' - bread, pasta, rice, flour and potatoes etc. The next poster was a prominent poster who didn't like the LCHF message. She said 'that's the problem with you LCHF folk, you just assume others can't eat things just because you can't, you don't tell them to use their meter to find out for themselves'. The question I answered was about weight loss, not blood glucose levels. I still consider I gave good general weight loss advice. I was really upset and actually cried. I felt bullied because I followed LCHF.

I had thought I was posting as me, zand, but apparently others thought I was part of a gang of LCHFers. So after that I was more aware of what was going on and 'sided' with 'more of my own kind'. I noticed others being bullied just because they were promoting LCHF. If this nastiness against those who followed LCHF had never happened then that other forum would never have been set up. We need to look at the bias that caused these actions, not the actions themselves. The bias 3 years ago was firmly against LCHF. Now though it's gone the other way and I can see the same thing happening in reverse.
I joined in early 2012 and well remember the 2012 carb wars. I well remember a ruling clique who jumped upon lowcarbers posts. One of these I eventually had to mute - his posts upset me too much. This person is still on this forum(as are most of that clique) but many seem to have had personality transplants. To me there's only one vexatious poster at the moment. He's new to me following my return to the forum, which followed my transformation from T2 to LADA.
I only remember the bullying go one way.
I remenber admin favouring pro-carbers.
I welcomed the lowcarbers input,but not the pro-carbers ridicule.
I witnessed them hounded from the forum.
As a Libra I can't accept revisionist versionsof what went on.
I've been reminding myself of some of those exchanges, by revisiting 2012 threads.

Imagine my surprise on coming back to this forum in 2016. It's a changed place. Well done to those responsible !
Geoff (off to bed)
 

therower

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I really like the forum, not really followed this thread, it's just to long now.
For what it's worth there are aspects of the forum I don't agree work BUT it's not about me it's about all of us.
I've had post's removed but I come back because I believe in what I believe.
I have in the past upset some people, not on purpose, but because I have voiced my opinion.
Have not been bullied " yet ". Still hopeful though:). Wish I was here back in the bad old days.


One happy member on the forum.
 
A

Avocado Sevenfold

Guest
Expect it's just in some peoples nature @zand , as much as we can search for an explanation there's no excuse for slander, ridicule and foul racist behaviour against other human beings, that sort of conduct & language will never win the day IMHO.



Your experience with that member was unfortunate and understand you'd be upset at their comments. In answer to the above, low-carb/LCHF diets have always been promoted on the forum, even in the early days when the forum began. I' don't see the forum going one way or the other, if it did it would be to the detriment of the membership.

I remember the era @zand talks about, but do not recall any racism.
 

JohnEGreen

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There is of course the "fact" that as diabetics for the most part and on all sorts of meds we are prone to mood swings and I must admit for my part may be a little paranoia bearing that in mind I think we should try and cut each other a little slack and if possible tolerate a little bit of the more outrageous behaviour we encounter especially if it's from me.
 

Jaylee

Oracle
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Guys? That "history stuff" was so long ago...

I came to this forum not long after my T2 dad died. He also spent the last 8 years of his life with vascular dementia.
My mum was his primary carer with support from me (I lived the closest.) and my sister doing a 150 mile round trip from her place when she could..
I came here to find out if I did the right thing by my dad cutting his carbs down from the "recommended" balanced dietary advice put out by the HCPs.. His A1c had certainly improved & he was also pulled off the prescribed Metformin..
Which certainly prolonged his life.

Did I do the right thing?
I pretty much tripped over this forum the night my dad died googling his medical notes & keeping him company in his last hour.
Joining up probably just after my dad's funeral & still looking for answers...

As far as the "history" is concerned on the alleged "carb bullying" in a galaxy far away...
Drawing another Sci Fi analogy here. If I had joined earlier & listened to a "certain point of view".?
I may have just ended up trying to kill my dad like this poor bloke...? ;)

 
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zand

Master
Messages
10,784
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I joined in early 2012 and well remember the 2012 carb wars. I well remember a ruling clique who jumped upon lowcarbers posts. One of these I eventually had to mute - his posts upset me too much. This person is still on this forum(as are most of that clique) but many seem to have had personality transplants. To me there's only one vexatious poster at the moment. He's new to me following my return to the forum, which followed my transformation from T2 to LADA.
I only remember the bullying go one way.
I remenber admin favouring pro-carbers.
I welcomed the lowcarbers input,but not the pro-carbers ridicule.
I witnessed them hounded from the forum.
As a Libra I can't accept revisionist versionsof what went on.
I've been reminding myself of some of those exchanges, by revisiting 2012 threads.

Imagine my surprise on coming back to this forum in 2016. It's a changed place. Well done to those responsible !
Geoff (off to bed)
I agree with all of your post. I too am a low carber and am grateful for the changes. I have received good advice on various subjects from lots of people on the forum, not just low carbers. One of those people recently felt the need to leave because of ridicule. This person has reversed his diabetes and was sharing with us how he did it. I don't see that's a reason to ridicule someone. This person no longer needs the forum but was sharing to help others. I will follow the advice he gave as much as I can. I don't want to see the forum go back to the bad old days and that's why I posted. Everyone who is civil and polite should be welcomed. Not just low carbers.
 
A

Avocado Sevenfold

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Hi @Fleegle
Would you like to start a thread to discuss Saturated meat fats and IR?
It would be good to have a discussion thread for this.
I would be interested to see how such a thread would develop. Would it be supportive or would it be a venue for picking holes in other members' way of eating? I eat zero animal fat myself and have been badgered about it. "But bacon. But cavemen etc.." But nothing, it's my way of eating so why should it bother anybody else?

As a pioneer of the Newcastle Diet yourself (if I may call you that, @Pipp) you may have an inkling of what it is like to have to constantly justify your chosen way of eating to strangers. It is tiresome to have to be on be on the defensive all the time in my experience. There are many ways of eating for good diabetes management. No lifestyle is wrong, just different, and if members felt genuinely supportive they would respect that.
 

Bluetit1802

Legend
Messages
25,216
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Type 2 (in remission!)
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I would be interested to see how such a thread would develop. Would it be supportive or would it be a venue for picking holes in other members' way of eating? I eat zero animal fat myself and have been badgered about it. "But bacon. But cavemen etc.." But nothing, it's my way of eating so why should it bother anybody else?

As a pioneer of the Newcastle Diet yourself (if I may call you that, @Pipp) you may have an inkling of what it is like to have to constantly justify your chosen way of eating to strangers. It is tiresome to have to be on be on the defensive all the time in my experience. There are many ways of eating for good diabetes management. No lifestyle is wrong, just different, and if members felt genuinely supportive they would respect that.

It may be very useful though, if people simply added their own personal experience/evidence of how it has affected their health markers, hopefully without the need for anyone to get defensive. We are all up for learning how it affects others (health-wise). Well, at least I am.
 

noblehead

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I remember the era @zand talks about, but do not recall any racism.

No not on here, that would indeed lead to a temporary or permanent ban for any offender (and rightly so)

See my reply earlier in the thread where I say the comments were made on another forum:

But I do remember the individuals that your referring to @Bluetit1802 in 2014, they too caused trouble and went on to set up their own forum, when they did start posting on their new forum all they did was ridicule the members, Mods, Admin and owners of the DCUK forum, some of the attacks were very personal, particular against the forum owner due to his race.
 
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Avocado Sevenfold

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No not on here, that would indeed lead to a temporary or permanent ban for any offender (and rightly so)

See my reply earlier in the thread where I say the comments were made on another forum:
Ah, I see, thanks.

Not sure why we are discussing here the activity of another forum tbh. I got my bum kicked this week for discussing a deleted post (rightly so), yet here we are discussing the activities of permanently banned members. I am not sure what the rules are any more :wacky: ;)
 

noblehead

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Ah, I see, thanks.

Not sure why we are discussing here the activity of another forum tbh. I got my bum kicked this week for discussing a deleted post (rightly so), yet here we are discussing the activities of permanently banned members. I am not sure what the rules are any more :wacky: ;)

Agreed @Avocado Sevenfold , the less said about them the better.

The group were mentioned by another member and their version of events needed to be corrected, the DCUK forum is in a great place now and has been for the last 2-3 years, lets hope it remains so for the good of all. Best wishes.
 
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Avocado Sevenfold

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Agreed @Avocado Sevenfold , the less said about them the better.

The group were mentioned by another member and their version of events needed to be corrected, the DCUK forum is in a great place now and has been for the last 2-3 years, lets hope it remains so for the good of all. Best wishes.
Anyone who wants to argue with the other forum is free to join it, but their banned members cannot come here to try to defend themselves so it doesn't feel fair to me. So I agree with you that the topic is maybe best dropped (just my opinion) :)
 
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