therower
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Oh yes, and not deliver anything you deemed unsuitable for people. I like your style
Do you ever walk around the supermarket looking in peoples trollys?
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PattiT
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Other people's shopping seems much more tempting than mine
therower
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No definitely not a saint and yes often make judgements. My point is to be judgemental of others you should first be judgemental of yourself.
Judgemental at this very moment but I could be wrong on account i don't have saintly powers.
Robinredbreast
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nomoredonuts
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No, I don't judge but I do amuse myself trying to guess why someone would need 48 litres of mineral water, or eight loaves of bread. And I'm afraid I stereotype the mousy librarian with the lasagne for one and a half bottle of wine...
I don't judge....it passes the time whilst I'm waiting. Like another poster it's more about "who are you"......
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So say something if you want to. Like 'You know you are killing yourself with all that white bread'. And then let them explain for instance they have crohn's disease and lost their bowel and therefore can't eat wholemeal bread. Do so if you like, but never ever complain again about people saying 'You shouldn't have that as a diabetic.' Look in my shopping cart and tell me I'm killing myself when you see sweets and cookies. I'll explain to you I might well end up in a&e if I don't have them in the house when hypo.
That said, I love looking in people's carts, I'm a curious person, but I never felt I had to judge them for what they buy.
Other peoples shopping trolley contents do not bother me, what they eat is their problem not mine.
DaftThoughts
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No, I don't judge what others are buying. I only think "I shouldn't have that because I ___", but as someone who has been judged a lot for her size for what I eat, I am very conscious not to do this to others. Just because I can't have it, doesn't mean others can't.
I know it's all just a mental note, but it does affect the way you see other people and it influences and contributes to stigmas in small ways. Just the way you're looking at someone's stuff can be very obvious. Trust me, I've seen the looks, even when nobody said anything - and they made me feel horrible. I recognize the look I get when I eat something as a treat that isn't healthy out in public, even if the rest of my diet is good. We know, every time you look and judge, we know. Sometimes the silent looks are worse than the outright harassment.
I'm even afraid to buy candy for hypo treatments because I fuss about what people are thinking. I use soda cans as an easy means to treat them on the go, and keep one on my night stand. It makes me self-conscious again to read so many people would think so negatively about me based on what I put on the conveyor belt. I'm tall and fat, so that means every piece of sweet is me slowly killing myself? I inject insulin, so I should not eat sweets?
You don't know anyone's situation, ever. Why can't you just train yourselves not to judge? A simple "I can't have/buy this, but I don't know their life, so I shouldn't judge. I should worry about my life only" reminder to yourself would be so much better than fighting the constant need to give unwanted advice.
I know it's all just a mental note, but it does affect the way you see other people and it influences and contributes to stigmas in small ways. Just the way you're looking at someone's stuff can be very obvious. Trust me, I've seen the looks, even when nobody said anything - and they made me feel horrible. I recognize the look I get when I eat something as a treat that isn't healthy out in public, even if the rest of my diet is good. We know, every time you look and judge, we know. Sometimes the silent looks are worse than the outright harassment.
I'm even afraid to buy candy for hypo treatments because I fuss about what people are thinking. I use soda cans as an easy means to treat them on the go, and keep one on my night stand. It makes me self-conscious again to read so many people would think so negatively about me based on what I put on the conveyor belt. I'm tall and fat, so that means every piece of sweet is me slowly killing myself? I inject insulin, so I should not eat sweets?
You don't know anyone's situation, ever. Why can't you just train yourselves not to judge? A simple "I can't have/buy this, but I don't know their life, so I shouldn't judge. I should worry about my life only" reminder to yourself would be so much better than fighting the constant need to give unwanted advice.
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My God why do people get so up tight about some things?
No wonder the world is getting sterile.
Fear of talking is killing conversation.
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Thanks @DaftThoughts , @therower and @Crystalwand ! This is the first time I posted something unfriendly and I was nervous about it And I just found out how to tag people
And I just found out how to tag people
therower
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Hi @Antje77 . Your post wasn't unfriendly. Your post was an honest account of how you feel and how this particular thread made you feel.
This is a forum and we are all entitled to our opinions and observations.
I gave you a winner rating and you deserved it for a great post.
Keep it up.
This is a forum and we are all entitled to our opinions and observations.
I gave you a winner rating and you deserved it for a great post.
Keep it up.
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Ah, you get me wrong. No fear of talking but knowledge about being bullied. What you want to do in the supermarket is bullying. You choose to write here you want to tell people they are killing their family and themselves. With their normal every-day non-diabetic shopping. Even if you don't tell those people in the supermarket, you tell us. It offends me, but I'm still talking. Now you've attacked me personally (Above quote is a direct answer to my post). I'll stop the talking. Which makes you right in stopping the conversation.
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bulkbiker
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I'm afraid I tend to as well.. it doesn't help that I have trained hubby so well.. in M&S today the woman behind us was unloading a trolley full of bread, cakes and cereal. He stood beside me and whispered carbs..carbs..carbs..That too would have been me a couple of years ago (although she did buy a huge amount of sliced bread)...
My trolley is pretty much unchanged since diagnosis. My weakness and downfall was never junk food and I have never drunk fizzy drinks. My problem was homemade cakes and cookies (baked with the kids) and particularly home baked bread. I still make all my own bread(for me and the family) but stick to a slice or two a day. I used to be tempted by hot white bread straight from the oven, just a couple of slices (more like three doorstops) with a little butter (more like lots of butter and even more home made jam). I just calculated that two thick slices comes to nigh on a thousand calories and 100g of carbs and this was just a snack when the bread came out of the oven.
A virtuous trolley does not necessarily make a healthy diet.
A virtuous trolley does not necessarily make a healthy diet.
DaftThoughts
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Edit: Whoops, I'm tired! You're not the OP @Antje77, my post was meant for @frankbegbie, sorry!
Your post has legitimate problematic implications that you may not have realized. It's worth considering how your thoughts and judgment affect the way you regard, look at and treat people, because even if you don't say it out loud, you are internally deeming another human being less worthy of basic respect than yourself without knowing a single thing about them other than what food they're buying at that moment. While you are entitled to your opinion, that doesn't automatically make it an educated or useful one.
I'm speaking as a victim of bullying and judgment like yours that has impacted my life in a real and negative way. I want you to acknowledge that people who have done the thing you posted about contributed to that, because while they thought their judgment was internal, it really wasn't. I posted to make you aware of the fact that even if you remain silent, your body language will give you away. I asked a legitimate question: why is it not a good thing to work on changing your internal judgment? Why can't you stop yourself, and think to yourself "Not my life, not my business"? What harm does it do to think nicer thoughts?
You call it judgment, so you know these thoughts aren't good things. I don't understand why that should be something that ought to be accepted and supported though, as I'm seeing implied in this topic.
Your post has legitimate problematic implications that you may not have realized. It's worth considering how your thoughts and judgment affect the way you regard, look at and treat people, because even if you don't say it out loud, you are internally deeming another human being less worthy of basic respect than yourself without knowing a single thing about them other than what food they're buying at that moment. While you are entitled to your opinion, that doesn't automatically make it an educated or useful one.
I'm speaking as a victim of bullying and judgment like yours that has impacted my life in a real and negative way. I want you to acknowledge that people who have done the thing you posted about contributed to that, because while they thought their judgment was internal, it really wasn't. I posted to make you aware of the fact that even if you remain silent, your body language will give you away. I asked a legitimate question: why is it not a good thing to work on changing your internal judgment? Why can't you stop yourself, and think to yourself "Not my life, not my business"? What harm does it do to think nicer thoughts?
You call it judgment, so you know these thoughts aren't good things. I don't understand why that should be something that ought to be accepted and supported though, as I'm seeing implied in this topic.
I too used to wonder about people buying large amounts of bread, potatoes, and such like, till it occurred to me that there could be two options for why they're buying so much of the same stuff: either they run a "corner shop" type of business and would re-sell with a bit of price mark-up, or they were a catering outfit of some sort - maybe they run a soup kitchen for the homeless, stocking a food bank, or something similar. I do occupy myself sometimes speculating on the possibilities, depending on what's in the trolley - & usually whilst waiting for the slowest checkout operator and the longest queue on earth to make some progress. Why do I always choose the wrong line (sigh)
