Hubby just been diagnosed......how can I help?

MrsG1

Active Member
Messages
36
Hi,
we got back off honeymoon yesterday to a letter from the doctor confirming that my husband has developed diabetes. I feel a bit useless as not sure how to help, or what the next steps are. He has to go and get some more blood tests and make an appointment with the diabetes clinic. I think he is just trying to take him in so I thought I'd come on here and see what I can do to help him, if anything.
 

Daibell

Master
Messages
12,652
Type of diabetes
LADA
Treatment type
Insulin
Hi. Daisy will be along shortly with a lot of general advice and links to information. I guess the main way you can help apart from any emotional help is diet. This and exercise are the key areas to work on. Most of us would advise a low carb diet i.e. keep the overall intake low'ish and high fibre and low GI. The good thing is this will also be good for you to as it is most people! Fat is not a big problem but unsaturated is always the best! If the docs suggest having starchy carbs with every meal just ignore it as bad out-dated advice. Get hold of a blood sugar meter so your husband can start to find out what foods affect his blood sugar most and by how much. He should try to keep the reading 2 hours after a meal below 8'ish. I would expect the blood tests to include what is called the HBA1c which measures the average blood sugar over the last 3 months. The aim is to keep it below 6.5'ish % in old money. The measurement units were changed last year and on the Home page of this site you will find a units converter that works either way. Am I right in thinking your husband might be quite young as you have just come off honeymoon? I may be wrong of course. If he is young'ish and not overweight then the clinic may want to do more tests to eliminate the possibility of late onset type 1 diabetes rather than type 2. The treament regime is similar but the progression rate with T1 would be faster. If it's just t2 due to being overweight then diet may avoid the need for any tablets at all for an initial period of time.
 

MrsG1

Active Member
Messages
36
Thanks. He is 34 and very overweight. I had my suspicions that it was diabetes as he has been very tired over the last few months.
 

julie42

Active Member
Messages
30
Hi, I am new to the site as I only found out myself in December and it was a shock. This site as great, I do not post much as I feel I am still learning but I read everything and taking the low carb advice I can assure you it is working for me.
I would say the best way of helping is by getting the food right, I have lost between 2 and 3 pound a week. I only wanted to lose about 1 and a half stone and I am nearly at my target of a bmi of 25. I am sure your husband will shift the weight with the right food, I am sure the diabetes put my weight on as I had no explanation for the weight going on other than I was grieving for my mum who passed away very suddenly, I assumed it was staying in the house more that had done it, now I am not so sure. Anyway, I bought a meter and strips and I test 2 hours after every meal, I often do not repeat the same meal now as it is expensive but it really helped understand portion size and what my body did not like. I eat porridge or all Bran for breakfast with skimmed milk and my body seems ok with this. Salad most lunchtimes with tuna, prawn or chicken, I have a sandwich once a week, 2 slices of granary bread and maybe a stir fry or omelette at the weekend. My evening meals are meat or fish with veg every other night with no potatoe except 1 roastie on a Sunday. I then have stir fries, lasagne or chilli, curry but very small amount of rice. I find pasta a nightmare but I manage lasagne, chips are a no no for me but I can eat a small portion of cottage pie but I put sweet potatoe in the mash as this helps apparently. I have not eaten any biscuits, cake and watch some fruits like bananas and grapes. I only drink tea, green tea and water but I did have a few glasses of red wine at Christmas but I have cut out again for now just to help me body heal a bit so to speak. I do eat full fat greek yoghurt with raspberries as a treat and almonds. It is hard but I can keep my meals under 7 2 hours after eating which I understand is good. I am a strong person and I found having a piece of chocolate at Christmas only gave me the taste a bit like having the wine, for me l am better having none. My new high is getting a blood score under 6 after meals. I am not sure how I am going to get on when we go on holiday, restaurants are a nightmare, for me it is prawns, salmon with veg or salad and the cheese board, so boring as I eat this at home. I miss my rice and pasta more than anything but seeing the blood shoot to 10 soon puts me off.
Do not accept doctors know best, my dad has been diabetic for over 20 years and I have learned more in the past 6 weeks from this site and a few books than he ever has.
Good luck at the doctors, it must be a shock but once you get to grips with the food I am sure you will be fine. My dad never took it serious, he still doesn't and he has health issues because of it.
 

daisy1

Legend
Messages
26,457
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
Dislikes
Cruelty towards animals.
Hi MrsG1 and welcome to the forum :)

Here is the information we give to new members which should help you to help your hubby. Ask all the questions you like and someone will be able to help.


BASIC INFORMATION FOR NEWLY DIAGNOSED DIABETICS

Diabetes is the general term to describe people who have blood that is sweeter than normal. A number of different types of diabetes exist.

A diagnosis of diabetes tends to be a big shock for most of us. It’s far from the end of the world though and on this forum you’ll find well over 30,000 people who are demonstrating this.

On the forum we have found that with the number of new people being diagnosed with diabetes each day, sometimes the NHS is not being able to give all the advice it would perhaps like to deliver - particularly with regards to people with type 2 diabetes.

The role of carbohydrate

Carbohydrates are a factor in diabetes because they ultimately break down into sugar (glucose) within our blood. We then need enough insulin to either convert the blood sugar into energy for our body, or to store the blood sugar as body fat.

If the amount of carbohydrate we take in is more than our body’s own (or injected) insulin can cope with, then our blood sugar will rise.

The bad news

Research indicates that raised blood sugar levels over a period of years can lead to organ damage, commonly referred to as diabetic complications.

The good news

People on the forum here have shown that there is plenty of opportunity to keep blood sugar levels from going too high. It’s a daily task but it’s within our reach and it’s well worth the effort.

Controlling your carbs

The info below is primarily aimed at people with type 2 diabetes, however, it may also be of benefit for other types of diabetes as well.
There are two approaches to controlling your carbs:

  • Reduce your carbohydrate intake
  • Choose ‘better’ carbohydrates
Reduce your carbohydrates

A large number of people on this forum have chosen to reduce the amount of carbohydrates they eat as they have found this to be an effective way of improving (lowering) their blood sugar levels.

The carbohydrates which tend to have the most pronounced effect on blood sugar levels tend to be starchy carbohydrates such as rice, pasta, bread, potatoes and similar root vegetables, flour based products (pastry, cakes, biscuits, battered food etc) and certain fruits.

Choosing better carbohydrates

Another option is to replace ‘white carbohydrates’ (such as white bread, white rice, white flour etc) with whole grain varieties. The idea behind having whole grain varieties is that the carbohydrates get broken down slower than the white varieties –and these are said to have a lower glycaemic index.
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/food/diabetes ... rains.html

The low glycaemic index diet is often favoured by healthcare professionals but some people with diabetes find that low GI does not help their blood sugar enough and may wish to cut out these foods altogether.

Read more on carbohydrates and diabetes

Eating what works for you

Different people respond differently to different types of food. What works for one person may not work so well for another. The best way to see which foods are working for you is to test your blood sugar with a glucose meter.

To be able to see what effect a particular type of food or meal has on your blood sugar is to do a test before the meal and then test after the meal. A test 2 hours after the meal gives a good idea of how your body has reacted to the meal.

The blood sugar ranges recommended by NICE are as follows:

Blood glucose ranges for type 2 diabetes
  • Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
  • 2 hours after meals: under 8.5 mmol/l
Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (adults)
  • Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
  • 2 hours after meals: under 9 mmol/l
Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (children)
  • Before meals: 4 to 8 mmol/l
  • 2 hours after meals: under 10 mmol/l
However, those that are able to, may wish to keep blood sugar levels below the NICE after meal targets.

Access to blood glucose test strips
The NICE guidelines suggest that people newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes should be offered:

  • structured education to every person and/or their carer at and around the time of diagnosis, with annual reinforcement and review
  • self-monitoring of plasma glucose to a person newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes only as an integral part of his or her self-management education

Therefore both structured education and self-monitoring of blood glucose should be offered to people with type 2 diabetes. Read more on getting access to blood glucose testing supplies.

You may also be interested to read questions to ask at a diabetic clinic

Note: This post has been edited from Sue/Ken's post to include up to date information.
 

MrsG1

Active Member
Messages
36
Thanks for the info! There is so much info to read.....it is kinda overwhelming. He is going for his HbA1C and cholesterol tests tomorrow morning then we can book an apppointment to meet with the doctor. I had assumed it was Type 2 diabetes but I am worried that it'll be type 1. What is the likelyhood of being diagnosed with Type 1 at 34?
 

Daibell

Master
Messages
12,652
Type of diabetes
LADA
Treatment type
Insulin
Hi. I think it's quite high but note that the antibody tests for T1 are sometimes negative as they don't cover everything so the diagnosis could be indeterminant. The treatment approach for late onset T1 or T2 are similar but progression potentially to insulin can be faster with T1. A low-carb diet is a good start. Tablets may be prescribed and the HBa1c and your meter tests will show how the blood sugars are and whether tablets or more are needed. Typically up to three tablet types may be prescribed in stages, same as for me, and then insulin if needed. If you are interested NICE have a good Diabetes Pathway document updated Oct 2012 which you can find by Googling.
 

donnellysdogs

Master
Messages
13,233
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Dislikes
People that can't listen to other people's opinions.
People that can't say sorry.
How to help partner support wise is very hard though.

First off though... Diabetes is diabetes whether type 1 or type 2.... Some people think one is worse than the other.
To me and only my personal opinion there is no difference besides one person may have tablets, diet and the other type injections...
They both need people to learn how to manage their intake of food and their new lifestyle..

I dont know of anybody on first diagnosis who comes away thinking 'heck its only diabetes'.... Everybody I have known has been hugely devastated at the diagnosis.

I been type 1 decades... And it was the combined mental support from my hubby and parents that helped me so much. I felt as if my life was finished.... But no... They made me realise I had a new healthier life to live AND enjoy!.. So long as in those days I didnt want to be an airplane pilot!!

My mum never said 'you cant have that' nor hubby. My mum in those days would make me cakes or biscuits that I was allowed and come down to our home whilst I was at work and leave them for me.

Things have changed massively now in the way that people are diagnosed.

I was very lucky to see a dietitian, to be taught even in those days about food, the value of whats in food and how to make the best choices for me, my lifestyle, my work, and socialising. That unforunately is rare nowadays, but there is the internet now to research everything.

Men dont talk so much or so openly about their feelings, so that is also going to be tough on any partner. I think there are nice ways to suggest things rather than imposing opinions/ideas on partners..finding the way that your partner responds best to will be down to trial and error... You will know whether ... Tactfully put'- you wear the trousers in your house, or whether your partner does'. How he responds to being told to do something, or whether he responds best by having a suggestion made..

Partners and people close to the diagnosed diabetic have a huge impact on acceptance.. But you know ur partner best....
A) would you serve a good meat and veg dinner without potatos OR
B) would you discuss having a good meat and veg dinner without potatos?

Some people will choose option A.. Some option B.. You have to help hubby by trying to do the best for him as an individual...and no matter what... There is **** good support here as well. Sometimes we all make daft choices and annoy people..partners etc ... Thats what makes us human.

Long lecture over... You'll both be fine...