Jeremy Corbyn & John McDonnell

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Jeremy Corbyn called John McDonnell into his office one day and said, "John, I have a great idea ! We're going to go out and win back Middle England."

"Good idea Jeremy, how will we go about it." said McDonnell.

"Well," said Corbyn, "we'll get ourselves two of those long Barbour coats, some proper Hunter wellies, a stick and a flat cap - oh and a black Labrador. Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a nice old country pub in Much Something in the Other, and we'll show that we really enjoy the countryside and Middle England."

"Right comrade." says McDonnell.

So, a few days later, all kitted out with requisite Labrador at heel, they set off.

Eventually, they arrived in a quiet village and found a lovely pub and with the dog, went up to the bar.

"Good evening Landlord, two pints of your best ale, from the wood please." says Corbyn.
"Good evening Jeremy." says the Landlord - "Two pints of the best coming up."

Corbyn and McDonnell stood leaning on the bar contemplating taking over the country, nodding now and then to those who came in for a drink, whilst the dog lay quietly at their feet.

Suddenly the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled old shepherd complete with crook. He walked up to the Labrador, lifted its tail with his crook, looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and went back to the other bar.

A few moments later, in came a wizened old farmer who followed the same procedure, to the bewilderment of Corbyn and McDonnell.

People of all ages and gender followed suit over the next hour.

Eventually, unable to stand it any longer, McDonnell called the landlord over.

"Tell me, my man," said McDonnell, "Why do all these people come and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old country custom?"

"Good Lord no," said the landlord. "It's just that someone has told them that there is a Labrador in here with two @rseholes.