Managing our own diabetes is complicated enough but put someone else in the mix

[badcat]

And it gets a damm sight more complicated!
Ive been dealing with mine for over 20 years but a few years back my mum (in her 80's) got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes at the same time as she had 2 strokes ( apparently her hba1c had been iffy for years but not iffy enough for the gp to do / say anything). Shes not on any meds for diabetes and we want to keep it that way as she's already on a cocktail of drugs after the strokes. Hba1c's ( annual) since stroke have been just in the diabetic range
Gets more complicated by the fact that the strokes took away mums memory so she cant even remember shes diabetic and left her with carers preparing all of meals - they are all nice people but know ****** all abt diabetes and seem to think were subjecting mum to cruel and unusal punishment if we say we dont want them giving her carby meals. I have given them lists of things to avoid putting together in the same meal in order to keep carbs at a reasonable level, but have not always seen evidence of much compliance
Ive just bought a meter so we can do periodic tests to supplement haba1c and to give an idea of what ahes getting diet wise - did first one when I arrived today - not good at over 10 pre meal. I dont want to go overboard and stop ordering the carby things she likes ( mainly bread, porridge, sweet fruits, scones, jacket spuds, ) but think Im going to have to get more prescriptive with the carers

 

[Chook]

Oh, that's difficult. The only thing I suppose you could do is be responsible for the food shopping and maybe prepare and freeze some suitable meals so all the carers have to do is warm them up in the microwave.

Good luck - like you say, it's difficult enough dealing with our own diabetes let alone dealing with someone else's. x

 

[himtoo]

I totally get where you are coming from as a daughter -- but your mum's carers will be on tight time schedules so unless you are able to have good meals ready in the freezer for warming , or suitable fresh food to prepare -- they will be working from speed as much as anything else.

I do feel for you ...... it is not an easy situation you face
hugs to your mum too [[[hugs]]]

 

[Guzzler]

I agree with himtoo, carers sometimes get as little as thirty minutes to get a patient up out of bed, dressed and breakfasted. Best thing is do the shopping and prepare meals in advance and possibly keep the treats until you visit in person. Sounds hard but there is a clear choice. Keep on banging on about low carb meals as as you will no doubt have realised some companies send multiple carers. Good luck.

 

[Resurgam]

We have had the situation where people 'looking after' my diabetic mother in law were giving her toast and jam for breakfast - twice!!
If the people who are preparing meals for your mum are unwilling to comply with your instructions re diet then perhaps a strong word with their management might help - quote the blood test results and maybe - if you can - get the right foods in the freezer or fridge, write out a menu. Above all make it clear why and how you are trying to keep your mum's blood sugar down.

 

[ickihun]

I asked once the carers in my grandmothers nursing home what they would feed her if she had diabetes. They answered "whatever she'll eat, as she deserves to be happy in her last yrs. Diabetes are the least of their problems. Just keeping them eating is the main aim".
I was totally shocked and angry.
I'm in for hell, if I manage to keep myself alive long enough , for a home scenario. If I lose my mind or memory I'll be poisoned with carbs. Lovely!

 

[badcat]

Thx for the replies
The carers have 45 mins per call and it is a consistent group of only 3 carers ( we self fund rather than council funded) the problem is getting it through to the carers that for example porridge or toast or fruit and yogurt would be fine at breakfast alongside something without carbs such as scrambled egg and mushrooms but giving all three of them in one meal is no good. I dont think mum needs a v low carb diet - id be happy if it were under 150g as a starting point - so I do not want to have to remove things like bananas,grapes, wholemeal bread etc from the the shopping ( mum has never eaten cakes, chocs , ready meals etc) but need to stop carers giving multiple carb items as meal choices and also from going out and using the 'emergency' float to get extra high carb items when the amount Ive ordered runs out ( theybthen use the extras in preference to more balanced meals that have been home cooked and frozen)
I have,again, alerted the care manager to mums dietary needs and asked for them to be followed, I have also advised her of the BM I got from mum today which I hope will focus minds a bit more. I plan to reinforce it again and more forcibly with the 2 carers rotad for the calls while Im here ( I live 200 miles away)

 

[badcat]

I asked once the carers in my grandmothers nursing home what they would feed her if she had diabetes. They answered "whatever she'll eat, as she deserves to be happy in her last yrs. Diabetes are the least of their problems. Just keeping them eating is the main aim".
I was totally shocked and angry.
I'm in for hell, if I manage to keep myself alive long enough , for a home scenario. If I lose my mind or memory I'll be poisoned with carbs. Lovely!

At times when mums been a bit unwell, carers have said " we know diabetics get low blood sugar and to give them some bread and jam if they are pale or shakey - that always perks your mum up" - the number of times I told them shes not on insulin or similar / any meds that could cause hypos. We changed care company and the current one is much better but ......

 

[ickihun]

At times when mums been a bit unwell, carers have said " we know diabetics get low blood sugar and to give them some bread and jam if they are pale or shakey - that always perks your mum up" - the number of times I told them shes not on insulin or similar / any meds that could cause hypos. We changed care company and the current one is much better but ......

If your mum ate all her planned meals she shouldnt have hypos but in times of illness or stress she will be susceptible. It is very difficult to regulate perfectly but nears dam it would be nice. I agree.
I wonder how many carers see diabetes in their day to day job? Jam and bread is the old fashioned treat hypo favourite for the simplist of minded carers. If it gets too complicated they will ask for nursing care costs. Please be aware. It seems to be a fine line. (When it suits these companies).
Even old fashioned meals on wheels were carb filled. Our school meals are just as bad.
Hopefully change is on the horizon.
I hope your mum will benefit.

Maybe diabetic carers should be supplied too. Now there's a business opportunity for someone!
Currently, one size fits all. Again!

 

[Diakat]

What does your mum say? Ass using she can communicate following the stroke, is she asking them for more treats? I find it odd that the carers would take the time to buy more unless asked.

 

[DavidGrahamJones]

And it gets a damm sight more complicated!
Ive been dealing with mine for over 20 years but a few years back my mum (in her 80's) got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes at the same time as she had 2 strokes ( apparently her hba1c had been iffy for years but not iffy enough for the gp to do / say anything). Shes not on any meds for diabetes and we want to keep it that way as she's already on a cocktail of drugs after the strokes. Hba1c's ( annual) since stroke have been just in the diabetic range
Gets more complicated by the fact that the strokes took away mums memory so she cant even remember shes diabetic and left her with carers preparing all of meals - they are all nice people but know ****** all abt diabetes and seem to think were subjecting mum to cruel and unusal punishment if we say we dont want them giving her carby meals. I have given them lists of things to avoid putting together in the same meal in order to keep carbs at a reasonable level, but have not always seen evidence of much compliance
Ive just bought a meter so we can do periodic tests to supplement haba1c and to give an idea of what ahes getting diet wise - did first one when I arrived today - not good at over 10 pre meal. I dont want to go overboard and stop ordering the carby things she likes ( mainly bread, porridge, sweet fruits, scones, jacket spuds, ) but think Im going to have to get more prescriptive with the carers

That's a tricky one and I'm trying to be logical in looking at where the problem really lies. My siblings and I have a similar problem with our 90 year old father who is mentally OK but physically not very mobile. Our efforts to buy his weekly lowish carb shopping is thwarted by a kind cleaning lady who will go out and buy his chocolate, current buns and biscuits. He's crafty enough to try and hide the evidence but not always successful. We've had words with the cleaning lady who basically ignores us. We even tried to suggest that his eye problems are in part down to his high BG but she just doesn't believe us.

Sounds like the carers, as lovely as they are, need educating and in our case we're going for the shock treatment. We've been trying for some years now with the same cleaning lady and we think something more graphic is needed. He's a already had a toe amputated and was lucky it wasn't his foot or lower leg. We might start reminding her about his toe. Socks off dad!

I hope you can find a solution to your situation. Wish I could wave a magic wand.

 

[Tony337]

My neighbour is 94 years young and is 100% in mind but her body is knackered.
She eats more than I do!
Her polish cleaner (lol) brings her all kinds of sweet rubbish and her carers are all on the minimum wage.
Another neighbour popped in the other day with a pasty the size of a boot!
I'd have had to have taken at least 7 units of novorapid to counteract the blasted thing in fact I don't think I could have eaten it!
She is not diabetic and the only reason I post this is to sympathise.

It goes on and we know too much we really do.
My own wife calls me "the food police" from time to time and I know what she means but i can't help it.

In your case you are trying to look after your mum.
The only thing you are guilty of is LOVE.....

and that's not a bad thing......

All the very best
Tony

 

[Chook]

I've worked in a care home setting and (to be completely honest) what relatives requested was largely ignored unless it had a religious or medical reasons. I suggest you ask your Mum's GP to 'prescribe' her a diet and then write to the carers' employer stating this is what must happen and put a copy of it up in your Mum's kitchen together with a suitable menu for the week. I read that you live some distance away so maybe you could possibly work out four week rotating menu? But you need to stress to the carers that this diet is prescribed by the GP and should not be varied.

 

[badcat]

What does your mum say? Ass using she can communicate following the stroke, is she asking them for more treats? I find it odd that the carers would take the time to buy more unless asked.

Hi
No sadly the strokes took away mums ability to speak / write / read alongside her memory. I think the carers are v caring and trying really hard to give mum a good quality of life - its just the things they experience as treats / comforting aren't always the best for a diabetic

 

[Pinkorchid]

I agree with himtoo, carers sometimes get as little as thirty minutes to get a patient up out of bed, dressed and breakfasted. Best thing is do the shopping and prepare meals in advance and possibly keep the treats until you visit in person. Sounds hard but there is a clear choice. Keep on banging on about low carb meals as as you will no doubt have realised some companies send multiple carers. Good luck.

That's right when my sister-in-law had carers coming in they were only allowed to heat ready made stuff in the microwave not prepare or cook it from scratch so her son had to buy all frozen meals for her

 

[badcat]

That's a tricky one and I'm trying to be logical in looking at where the problem

Sounds like the carers, as lovely as they are, need educating and in our case we're going for the shock treatment. We've been trying for some years now with the same cleaning lady and we think something more graphic is needed. He's a already had a toe amputated and was lucky it wasn't his foot or lower leg. We might start reminding her about his toe. Socks off dad!

I hope you can find a solution to your situation. Wish I could wave a magic wand.

I suggest you ask your Mum's GP to 'prescribe' her a diet and then write to the carers' employer stating this is what must happen and put a copy of it up in your Mum's kitchen together with a suitable menu for the week. I readrred one that you live some distance away so maybe you could possibly work out four week rotating menu? But you need to stress to the carers that this diet is prescribed by the GP and should not be varied.

Thanks both
I had a good chat with one of the carers today and explained the reasons for needing to reduce carbs in order to keep mums sugars at a better level - turns out the carer also has a v uncontrolled young type 2 in the family so she was able to make some links. I gave a couple of options for ways to help the carers achieve what we wanted - one ( mine and thankfully her preferred one) was to use a kind of RAG system where any food from the red group (20-25 carb items)plus one from amber (8-12g carbs) and 2 from green (5-8g carbs) would be one type of ok meal as would a "free" main such as omelette / steamed fish / smoked mackeral etc with up to to 3 each from amber and green group. Now all I have to do is put it all together, laminate it , e mail it to manager and get mums hair cut before I catch my train home tommorrow!

 

[badcat]

My own wife calls me "the food police" from time to time and I know what she means but i can't help it.

In your case you are trying to look after your mum.
The only thing you are guilty of is LOVE.....

and that's not a bad thing......

All the very best
Tony

Thanks. Nowt wrong with a bit of food policing - we all need help along the way

 

[Salvia]

That's great, you can relax a bit now that hopefully you're on the way to getting things sorted for your mum.