My husband new type 2 Diabetic

[chezzausauk]

Hiya all. Recently, my husband was diagnosed with type 2 diabetics. For months leading up to his diagnosis he was showing symptoms. We both knew something was wrong but exactly waht, we reamined unsure. He's had the initial test and his level were 11.4. He has since seen his GP once and was basically told he's overweight, high colesterol and high blood pressure: Change your diet. He's recently gone in for another blood tests which is examining his liver as well as a water test.
To date, we have changed several things as far as diet goes. He now eats wheat bread, brown rice and margarine instead of butter. But as he is 45 and a lifetime of bad eating habits have taken hold he is struggling to break bad habits. Also, he has quit smoking (bee 6 days so far) but refuses to accept he needs exercise and a better diet. He is daily stating, 'I just fancy a but of bread and butter, I just fancy something sweet' so on and so forth. It has only been a few weeks and he is really doing my head in as he is unproactive in his health situation. I have been keeping a food diary (to his unawares) for him. I weight 8 stone and can eat whatever I want and he seems to be angry about that. 'well if you can have ice cream and chocolate, I can.' Seriously, he is 45. We have been married for 12 years now and this is indeed the most trying of things we have experienced. I watched him go from a happy, fun person to someone who wants to sleep every chance he gets, he's in a mood constantly (even thought his gp told him his moods shouldn't be affected) and he is so fed up it is ridiclous. Just going food shopping or leaving the flat is such a drama. He walks around like a zombie, making sarcy comments about others. I don't know who this person is.
I have repeatedly tried to assist him with his diet. I have always eaten a low fat, healthy diet, no sugary drinks, no butter no fried foods and for the most part, he has adapted well. I am american and he is british. He was raised on fry ups and cakes and I was rasied on salads. The thing is, he likes salads and will eat them when they are fixed for him but 3 hours later he's 'peckish'! As he is refusing to help himself, I am about ready to throw the towel in. I told him I am going to let his gp know about his attitude toward food and exercise and he just gives me looks. There will probably be an almightly row at the surgery next week but I don't care. I want my husband back and I want him to care about what he has to do to live a healthier life. He is refusing to accept that he must change. HELP, suggestions, comments? Sorry this is so long but I could write for England on this one. Cheers all..xx

 

[CathyN]

Hi.
My sympathies go out to you and to your husband. The emotional shock of diagnosis is huge. So much to think about, to learn about - and so much sacrifice to make. It is truly tough. I myself was firmly in denial for a few months - I have a healthy diet, teach yoga, don't smoke, am not over weight ...... but I still didn't want to have to DO anything about it. I felt overwhelmed. Your husband is also giving up smoking - that's tough!! His low mood is no surprise at all.
This is a recognised state of affairs!! Many many people are in denial about their diabetes. Try not, if you can, to become your husband's enemy over this. Don't become a member of the diabetic police - even though it's because you love him and care for him and want him to live a long and happy life. He is obviously in a bad space. Give him time.
My advice , if he doesn't already have one, is to get a meter - available at chemists etc and to really engage with testing his Blood Glucose levels before and after his meals. He will soon learn which foods are good and which send his BG soaring. It is an education. At first, it's tough. Then it becomes like a scientific experiment. Then a challenge. Then as easy as falling off a log!!
Get him to come onto this forum! There are people just like him on here ... and they initially are just as resistant to taking a proactive stance. But they are here and they are interesting to talk to. They also, eventually realise that they HAVE to make an effort - on their own initiative. The results are inspiring.
Salads are great, but they need some oomph to be filling. What about adding beans? How about spicy lentil burgers with salad and a lean steak? Pulses could be a great thing for your husband. And berries are sweet!! So when he fancies something sweet, how about some strawberries or raspberries with a small portion of low fat yogurt or a tiny splash of cream?? It's the bread, pasta rice etc that needs watching, the refined, packet foods that usually have 'hidden ' sugars. But everyone is different - so your husband would do well to find out which foods affect his glucose the most.
On the exercise front - how about doing something together to start with. Walking or swimming?
Basically - as you are probably all too aware, you cannot make your husband wake up and smell the coffee!! It HAS to come from him. Suggest he comes onto this site. Suggest he measures his glucose with a meter. Suggest some amazing low carb dishes that are tasty and filling. Suggest a walk every evening. Tell him you love him and you'd like to grow old with him!!
Wishing you good luck and sending lots of understanding.
CathyN

 

[xyzzy]

Hello Chezza and welcome to the forum.

Being in denial about things is normal to start with in some people and usually they will come around. However he does need to realise that he can't continue his old ways as they WILL start to do harm to him sooner or later. You know how best to try and persuade him but in the end you may need to shock him to get him to accept things. The problem with diabetes is the complications are always down the line and not immediate. One way is to tell him something like "If that sweet thing sent you immediately blind for an hour you'd soon give it up wouldn't you" More extreme is to point out is in a large 13 year survey of uncontrolled T2 diabetics HALF were dead by the end of that 13 year and a good proportion of the rest were amputees or blind. I'm afraid those are the real facts but its unlikely he'll get told that by his doctor or nurse. As a T2 diabetic who is not trying to adjust his diet he is uncontrolled. You may want to print out or let him read what I've just written.

Losing weight if he needs to is very important as is a bit of exercise. All I do for exercise is walk my dogs for around an hour most days so nothing too strenuous. He needs to aim to do two things weight wise. First is very simple. He needs to try and get his waist measurement at the biggest point round his middle to less than 38". That is NOT the same as his trouser waist size as I learnt to my cost! Secondly he needs to aim to get a thing called his BMI to less than 25. You can use this site to calculate it http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/ you just need to know how tall and how much he weighs.

Anyway here's what I did to get my life back under control.

I was diagnosed in December 2011 so only a few months ago and using the advice I found on this site I got my blood sugar levels back to normal within around a couple of months or so and I have also normalised my cholesterol levels and blood pressure as well. I have now lost over 50lbs in weight too and 10" off my waist measurement. Not a cure as I have to be very careful what I eat but I'm feeling loads better now I'm back in control. My doctor is very pleased how I am getting on and has advised me to keep doing exactly what I have been doing since it's obviously working really well.

Diet wise its really easy. To start with just drastically cut down or better cut out all things with plain sugar, so biscuits, cakes, sugar in tea and coffee, pure fruit juices, non diet versions of soft drinks. Next and really importantly try halving starchy foods like rice, pasta, potatoes, bread, cereals and any other flour based products. Replace what's now missing with extra meat, fish, eggs, cheese and especially vegetables. Vegetables that grow above ground are best although most of us find carrots fine. Things like yoghurt are fine as is a small amount of fresh fruit. I find the ones that end in "berry" are the best. If you don't mind artificial sweeteners things like Diet Coke are fine to drink. On the starchy foods that are left swap try brown basmati rice instead of white and brown or tri-colour pasta. The bread that most recommend is actually Bergen soya bread but some do ok with wholemeal as well.

The above diet is close to one you would be one recommended to try by the Swedish Health service. It was introduced in that country last year and the American health service and several other countries health services recommend something very similar for Type 2 diabetics. In the UK the diet guidelines are now over 30 years old and are only gradually being updated. As the UK is lagging behind you may find what I and other forum members recommend will be different to what your are told is a good diet for you follow.

Did your doctor mention giving you a meter and strips to measure your own blood sugars?. Some do and some don't. It's a bit of a post code lottery and we find some progressive surgeries are pro testing and others anti. I'll warn you the anti ones can sometimes be very vocally anti!

The reason testing is important is you should try and keep your blood sugars below 8ish two hours after eating any meal. Above the 8 value is where the dangers of complications do begin to occur according to diabetic experts. So if you can't test how will you now if what you are eating is keeping you safe? The problem is every diabetic is different so my earlier advice to halve starchy foods is just a rough guide. You may find you need to eat less than half (like me) or that you can eat more than half like others.

As you get into it all and read around the forum you may see people talking about carb counting. If you want to understand what that is just ask. It is a powerful weapon that a diabetic can use to control their condition and one that many of us use to great effect.

Good luck and keep asking questions.

PS Here's two good links about what's good to eat.

First is the lady doctor who's low carb / low GI recommendations seem to form the basis of what's recommended in Sweden

http://blogg.passagen.se/dahlqvistannika/?anchor=my_lowcarb_dietary_programe_in

Second is a good beginners guide to low carb regimes that are excellent for reducing blood sugar levels and losing weight.

http://www.dietdoctor.com/lchf

There are also loads of brilliant recipes on the forum. You can find them here http://www.diabetes.co.uk/diabetes-forum/viewtopic.php?f=18&t=4871. My favourite is Cheeseburger Pie which you'll find near the end.

Good luck and keep asking questions.

 

[daisy1]

Hi Chezza and welcome to the forum To help you to help your husband, here is the information we give to new members and I think you will find it useful. Ask all the questions you like as there is always someone who will be able to help.

BASIC INFORMATION FOR NEWLY DIAGNOSED DIABETICS


Diabetes is the general term to describe people who have blood that is sweeter than normal. A number of different types of diabetes exist.

A diagnosis of diabetes tends to be a big shock for most of us. It’s far from the end of the world though and on this forum you’ll find well over 30,000 people who are demonstrating this.

On the forum we have found that with the number of new people being diagnosed with diabetes each day, sometimes the NHS is not being able to give all the advice it would perhaps like to deliver - particularly with regards to people with type 2 diabetes.

The role of carbohydrate

Carbohydrates are a factor in diabetes because they ultimately break down into sugar (glucose) within our blood. We then need enough insulin to either convert the blood sugar into energy for our body, or to store the blood sugar as body fat.

If the amount of carbohydrate we take in is more than our body’s own (or injected) insulin can cope with, then our blood sugar will rise.

The bad news

Research indicates that raised blood sugar levels over a period of years can lead to organ damage, commonly referred to as diabetic complications.

The good news

People on the forum here have shown that there is plenty of opportunity to keep blood sugar levels from going too high. It’s a daily task but it’s within our reach and it’s well worth the effort.

Controlling your carbs

The info below is primarily aimed at people with type 2 diabetes, however, it may also be of benefit for other types of diabetes as well.
There are two approaches to controlling your carbs:

• Reduce your carbohydrate intake
• Choose ‘better’ carbohydrates

Reduce your carbohydrates

A large number of people on this forum have chosen to reduce the amount of carbohydrates they eat as they have found this to be an effective way of improving (lowering) their blood sugar levels.

The carbohydrates which tend to have the most pronounced effect on blood sugar levels tend to be starchy carbohydrates such as rice, pasta, bread, potatoes and similar root vegetables, flour based products (pastry, cakes, biscuits, battered food etc) and certain fruits.

Choosing better carbohydrates

Another option is to replace ‘white carbohydrates’ (such as white bread, white rice, white flour etc) with whole grain varieties. The idea behind having whole grain varieties is that the carbohydrates get broken down slower than the white varieties –and these are said to have a lower glycaemic index.
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/food/diabetes ... rains.html

The low glycaemic index diet is often favoured by healthcare professionals but some people with diabetes find that low GI does not help their blood sugar enough and may wish to cut out these foods altogether.

Read more on carbohydrates and diabetes

Eating what works for you

Different people respond differently to different types of food. What works for one person may not work so well for another. The best way to see which foods are working for you is to test your blood sugar with a glucose meter.

To be able to see what effect a particular type of food or meal has on your blood sugar is to do a test before the meal and then test after the meal. A test 2 hours after the meal gives a good idea of how your body has reacted to the meal.

The blood sugar ranges recommended by NICE are as follows:

Blood glucose ranges for type 2 diabetes

• Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 8.5 mmol/l

Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (adults)

• Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 9 mmol/l

Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (children)

• Before meals: 4 to 8 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 10 mmol/l

However, those that are able to, may wish to keep blood sugar levels below the NICE after meal targets.

Access to blood glucose test strips
The NICE guidelines suggest that people newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes should be offered:

• structured education to every person and/or their carer at and around the time of diagnosis, with annual reinforcement and review
• self-monitoring of plasma glucose to a person newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes only as an integral part of his or her self-management education

Therefore both structured education and self-monitoring of blood glucose should be offered to people with type 2 diabetes. Read more on getting access to blood glucose testing supplies.

You may also be interested to read questions to ask at a diabetic clinic

Note: This post has been edited from Sue/Ken's post to include up to date information.
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Please sign our e-petition for free testing for all type 2's; here's the link:
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/petition/

Do get your friends and colleagues to sign as well.

 

[dawnmc]

He can eat butter, if you knew how margerine was manufactured you wouldn't eat it. Try to stick to foods with one ingredient.

 

[MaryJ]

also he likes a fry- up

It's not a bad food for diabetics just ditch the toast, beans and use very high quality sausages.

when he realises what he can actually eat he will be very surprised as it's not your typical 'diet'

good luck with it all

Mary x

 

[daisy3174]

Hi there sounds like you are having a rough ride there, there is nothing more frustrating than someone who will not help themselves, I do sympathise with your husband I have been in self denial lately too but it sounds like this has gone on for a long time.Its a similar story wth my other half, he is very overweight and very lazy, he has diabetic readings,I have tested him on my meter and will sit there drinking coke and Lucozade etc and wont even go to the doctors!He gave up smoking, I begged him to smoke again as I couldnt take being screamed at any more.But also thought the weight should have been addressed first and foremost, then the smoking.Would he go shopping on his own?If not just dont buy any unhealthy foods and he cannot have them (and buy some ear plugs or a walkman so you cant hear him moaning lol) There is no doubt if he does not make dramatic changes quickly he is going to start suffering from complications.Maybe Metformin may aid him with weight loss.And I do think that telling the doctor may spur your hubby into action.Sorry if my advice sounds a little harsh but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.Good luck to you both, hope you get your old husband back soon xxx

 

[SweetHeart]

Chezza,

A few months ago I was in your exact situation with my husband. YOU WILL get out the other side of this and I'm sure your husband will get his head around it all, but it's not a smooth ride...the first few months of any lifestyle change is going to be rough for both of you. I fought to get my husband to get off his bum food wise, and I just plonked low carb meals down in front of him and said 'Get it et!' like my mother used to when I was a child.

WhitbyJet's fabulous recipes in the Low Carb Recipes thread and Chocolate Paradise thread were turning points; here's chocolate cake, bounty-type bars etc etc and you can eat those (my husband thought everything nummy had to go....) I just continued plonking home baking and low carb stuff in front of him and I stopped buying anything he couldn't eat. None of which was easy with four grown up children to feed! After a month or two he stopped shoving his head in the sand and started to take an interest - he's a trained chef so he was missing out on a lot of his favourite foods but I think we've adjusted.

I low carb with him so he's not alone in missing out and, to start with, I was sneaking small sweeties when he was asleep. Now I don't touch sweets or chocolate, but I do indulge in the low carb icecream and the rich chocolate mousse featured in the low carb recipe thread. They are truly yummy!

You can do this - both of you!

Ju

 

[hazel73]

sounds alot like my hubby too.Hes grumpy alot especially if i say he shouldnt be eating a certain thing. My hubby has been like this since april when he was diagnosed. He has cut the bicuits out which was a major source of sugar for him coz he ate about 8 per day :lol: .But its the carbs i have problems with. I know exactly how you feel and it makes you want to scream at him doesnt it. I dont think it helps the the docs are not keeping a close check on his bs either mind.

 

[Anonymous]

I watched him go from a happy, fun person to someone who wants to sleep every chance he gets, he's in a mood constantly (even thought his gp told him his moods shouldn't be affected) and he is so fed up it is ridiclous.

Us chaps can be such a joy to live with can't we? It looks like you've had some good advice already but I just wanted to pick up on the comment above.

Your GP is wrong because poor levels will affect his mood. If you can get this sorted then the moods will ease considerably (not completely, obviously :? ). The sleepyness is entirely levels related and it will disappear too. I have family photo albums full of pictures of me asleep.

Good luck with it. Get him on here if you can and we can have a man to man chat about it - sometimes that works ..