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I had a bad day at the eye hospital today so am feeling a little sorry for myself. Somehow, in 2 months, despite good bg control, my left eye has gone from pre proliferative to almost the worst level they can categorise - it's been described as 'florid' which i take to mean the new vessels are growing fast and out of control, and I've been told I'm 'high risk' (i'm presuming that means high risk for visual loss but didn't dare ask).
Also my right eye, which was treated and I thought was stable, is showing signs of starting up again.
I'm completely gutted, how has this happened? It's been over a year since I gave birth and 1.5 years since I started really controlling my sugars. Why now? Why so rapid/aggressive after years of slow development?
No one can give me any answers. The consultant was not very encouraging. I asked her if it would affect my vision and she basically said she didn't know. She gave lots of woolly half answers when I asked her the difficult questions, which I have translated to mean 'We haven't a clue what'll happen'.
I've been crying all day. Is this the beginning of the end? am i going to go blind? It's looking less and less likely I can have a baby, no one has said I definitely can't but I would need to be sure it was stabilised and then there are still no guarantees.
I could cope better if this had been a slow, steady deterioration but to suddenly go from pre proliferative to the very advanced stage (where the new capillaries are growing up into the vitrous) in 2-3 months is making me very scared, what if they cannot stop it?
They did some laser today but said i would need to come back for several more sessions, probably 2 more on the left eye and 1-2 on the right.
I just feel like my body is out of control and broken. I've begun checking out the public transport routes on the new house we're moving to in case they take away my license. I can't bear to think of what else may happen. The past few weeks have just been bad news after bad news with this, every time I see someone or get any information it is another kick in the teeth.
I know I have to snap out of feeling like this, but right now i am very low and no one can give me any answers.
Also my right eye, which was treated and I thought was stable, is showing signs of starting up again.
I'm completely gutted, how has this happened? It's been over a year since I gave birth and 1.5 years since I started really controlling my sugars. Why now? Why so rapid/aggressive after years of slow development?
No one can give me any answers. The consultant was not very encouraging. I asked her if it would affect my vision and she basically said she didn't know. She gave lots of woolly half answers when I asked her the difficult questions, which I have translated to mean 'We haven't a clue what'll happen'.
I've been crying all day. Is this the beginning of the end? am i going to go blind? It's looking less and less likely I can have a baby, no one has said I definitely can't but I would need to be sure it was stabilised and then there are still no guarantees.
I could cope better if this had been a slow, steady deterioration but to suddenly go from pre proliferative to the very advanced stage (where the new capillaries are growing up into the vitrous) in 2-3 months is making me very scared, what if they cannot stop it?
They did some laser today but said i would need to come back for several more sessions, probably 2 more on the left eye and 1-2 on the right.
I just feel like my body is out of control and broken. I've begun checking out the public transport routes on the new house we're moving to in case they take away my license. I can't bear to think of what else may happen. The past few weeks have just been bad news after bad news with this, every time I see someone or get any information it is another kick in the teeth.
I know I have to snap out of feeling like this, but right now i am very low and no one can give me any answers.