Personal Goals.

[Guzzler]

One of the first things that I learned after being diagnosed was not to discuss it. I talk about it with 3 people in my life. I certainly have never mentioned it on facebook. It's simply not worth the grief.

I am like an open book on certain things and I have never kept secrets from my family so I discuss almost everything. I suppose this invites criticism but it also provides a sounding board which, for me, has always been a useful tool in trying to understand stuff. We all have coping mechanisms, I suppose. And besides, IRL, I could talk the hind leg off of a wooden donkey.

 

[Phoenix55]

I am like an open book on certain things "QUOTE]

I also told people, not just family but also at work, it helped me to cope with the diagnosis, gave me an incentive to do something about my diet and exercise but more importantly to keep with it. It also helped to explain why I was a little more serious than usual. Now, when I am tempted not to go for a walk someone will comment that I am the 'walker in the team' so I feel I have to go even for a short time, someone who has not seen me for a few weeks comments how elegant I look and I grow a couple of inches inside. In life it is not the repeated falling that counts but the repeated getting up and giving it another go. The only time you 'fail' is the day that you don't get up and try again. If necessary painting on a smile, (women have an advantage there with putting on some lippy it helps to smile!) and you will soon find that the smile becomes genuine. Small steps and being patient with yourself help, no-one said that perfection was achieved overnight or even first time. When someone has been an 'overnight success' a little look at their background shows that there is years of hard work behind them. You are doing just fine, doing the best you can at the moment. Everyday is another clean sheet and has its own successes, focus on what goes right.

 

[Guzzler]

I also told people, not just family but also at work, it helped me to cope with the diagnosis, gave me an incentive to do something about my diet and exercise but more importantly to keep with it. It also helped to explain why I was a little more serious than usual. Now, when I am tempted not to go for a walk someone will comment that I am the 'walker in the team' so I feel I have to go even for a short time, someone who has not seen me for a few weeks comments how elegant I look and I grow a couple of inches inside. In life it is not the repeated falling that counts but the repeated getting up and giving it another go. The only time you 'fail' is the day that you don't get up and try again. If necessary painting on a smile, (women have an advantage there with putting on some lippy it helps to smile!) and you will soon find that the smile becomes genuine. Small steps and being patient with yourself help, no-one said that perfection was achieved overnight or even first time. When someone has been an 'overnight success' a little look at their background shows that there is years of hard work behind them. You are doing just fine, doing the best you can at the moment. Everyday is another clean sheet and has its own successes, focus on what goes right.

You are right in everything you have said, my family provide support and who better to pick you up when the going gets a little tough? The small wins make them smile and that makes me smile.

 

[woodywhippet61]

It's good that you got/get support. You are lucky. Some of us learned the hard way to keep our mouths shut.

 

[Guzzler]

It's good that you got/get support. You are lucky. Some of us learned the hard way to keep our mouths shut.

Yes, I'm lucky. So many people out there are blamed for developing a condition that is no fault of their own and that the media portray as a self inflicted disease. I have not suffered the stigma but the level of abuse directed at T2s is shocking. All we can do is try to educate those around us. I hope things get easier for you.

 

[Grateful]

It is a strange thing but at the one month stage from dx I had lowered my A1c from 98 to 73. I was still under no illusion that was still very high but I looked at the drop and I was chuffed. [snip]
I suppose what came next shows my nature in that three months later my A1c came out at 43....

That's terrific!

I am going to take a slightly different tack from the other replies and say, it may be perfectly OK to reduce your goals. I cannot comment on your precise situation, not being a doctor, and you said you had other conditions to look after so your current target presumably makes sense.

In my case, the doctor said he would be happy if I could get my A1C to 7.0% (53) or lower, otherwise he would prescribe meds. So that is my goal, which is much more modest than yours. As it happens, I achieved better results (see signature) but if my A1C actually increases again in the future, I have decided that is OK as long as it doesn't cross the target my doctor gave me.

Different people, different levels of perfectionism/anxiety about this. In my case the anxiety level changed hugely over time. At diagnosis, I thought the world was coming to an end. Nine months later, I'm much more Zen about it all. This is in part because, thanks to research and fora like this one, I don't feel alone or unique.

 

[Ixarix]

Hugs @Ixarix . Sounds like you're coping tremendously well despite such 'help'!

So far that was the only help that was offered to me. I have a few friends who are diabetic who were better and gave me space to adjust. Which is what I needed in the start.

 

[Ixarix]

I am like an open book on certain things and I have never kept secrets from my family so I discuss almost everything. I suppose this invites criticism but it also provides a sounding board which, for me, has always been a useful tool in trying to understand stuff. We all have coping mechanisms, I suppose. And besides, IRL, I could talk the hind leg off of a wooden donkey.

Sometimes by talking about it can help others. Because I posted my meals it inspired a friend who was type 2 to eat more balanced meals. I had no idea she was diabetic, the way she ate certainly didn't suggest she was.

Most of my family, and friends know now about my situation. I haven't been reluctant to talk about it, though some of them may have been. I so t of feel that by talking about it, it helps to destigmatize diabetes, and get better facts out there.

 

[miahara]

[QUOTE="Ixarix, post: 1592894, member: 439065" Since she was diabetic herself I think she thought she was being helpful, and that I'd welcome her unsolicited advice. Her advice may have been true, but her message completely gutted me. It made me feel angry, upset, and guilty right when I was starting to feel better about things. I felt like she was usurping the roll of my dietitian before I ever had a chance to meet with her to discuss my diet.

I messaged my friend back and thanked her for her concern, but that I really could have done without her message and that I'd be getting my dietary advice from my dietitian and the rest of my health care team. I then removed her from my friends list, and permanently block her on Facebook. I sort regretted doing it, that I wasn't rolling with the punches. But I don't have time in my life anymore for people who are just going to knock me down. Now, like you when I get a decent BG reading I say a silent curse to my advisor, and that I'll be okay without their concern.[/QUOTE]

It's a shame you felt you had to blank the 'friend' as she was just trying to help as she thought best, and you really can't question her motivation as it was intended to be supportive. I can though understand your ire at the unsolicited advice at a time you were feeling particularly sensitive.
I've had all sorts of advice and much of it contradictary and it was mainly that I should eat more carbs to put on weight (I'm a thin type2). But I appreciate the suggestions were well meaning and made out of interest for my health, so I just say 'Thanks' and continue to go my own and possibly better educated way.