Relationships

[Sydneysider]

Hi all, I am new here. My 11yo son was diagnosed about 2 mos ago. We are doing pretty well, but one thing I have really noticed is the strain on my relationships. My son's dad and I have been divorced for a decade but usually get on really well, however we have been falling out and bickering a bit, which isn't helpful.

In particular though I have had problems with my boyfriend ... He is truly a lovely man but it's like after the initial shock he just expected me to snap back in a few weeks as if nothing had happened. I have told him I need some space for a bit — he was complaining to me about something fairly minor a week or so ago and I couldn't take it any more!

On top of my usual child/life stuff and my job and now the T1D as well I just feel like I can't deal with his problems as well right now. It felt really demanding, too much. We're only talking or messaging occasionally at the moment and I feel so much better about it. Maybe that's a bad sign though ...

 

[Snapsy]

Hi @Sydneysider , welcome to this brilliant forum!

I was diagnosed at your son's age, and it was overwhelming for all of us. That is completely completely normal - not that that makes it any easier!

Although I appreciate that in an ideal world life does have to go on with a sense of normality, this diagnosis is of course a massive deal, and I feel you're absolutely in order to put other things aside for the time being - priorities have of course changed, and I sympathise with your need for some space to come to terms with it and get used to the routine of including your son's diabetes into your lives.

Do keep the lines of communication open with your boyfriend though, as over time it would be great if he is able to get more of an understanding of what is involved. Sorry too to hear that your previously good relationship with your son's dad has become more difficult - he's of course on this 'team' too. I hope all will be well, and that the three of you (you, your boyfriend and your ex), together with your son, are able to be a great team not just in relationship terms but with his diabetes.

Hugs. You'll get there.

Love Snapsy

 

[Sydneysider]

Hi @Sydneysider , welcome to this brilliant forum!

I was diagnosed at your son's age, and it was overwhelming for all of us. That is completely completely normal - not that that makes it any easier!

Although I appreciate that in an ideal world life does have to go on with a sense of normality, this diagnosis is of course a massive deal, and I feel you're absolutely in order to put other things aside for the time being - priorities have of course changed, and I sympathise with your need for some space to come to terms with it and get used to the routine of including your son's diabetes into your lives.

Do keep the lines of communication open with your boyfriend though, as over time it would be great if he is able to get more of an understanding of what is involved. Sorry too to hear that your previously good relationship with your son's dad has become more difficult - he's of course on this 'team' too. I hope all will be well, and that the three of you (you, your boyfriend and your ex), together with your son, are able to be a great team not just in relationship terms but with his diabetes.

Hugs. You'll get there.

Love Snapsy

Thank you, you're totally right. I am trying just to put the boyfriend on the backburner at the moment (so to speak!) and not make any major life decisions until the dust has settled with all this.

 

[Jaylee]

Hi @Sydneysider ,

Welcome to the forum.

Looking at this logically.
This change in "family dynamics" since your son's diagnosis may have an emotional impact on the lad?
Kids (as far as I know) like consistancy. Granted, there is nothing you can do regarding the diabetes.. & it's great your focus is on that!
But an adult truce on the disagreements with the two men in your life may just be the way forward...?

Tagging I'm a T1 mum of a T1 daughter. @mahola

Good luck.

 

[Sydneysider]

Hi @Sydneysider ,

Welcome to the forum.

Looking at this logically.
This change in "family dynamics" since your son's diagnosis may have an emotional impact on the lad?
Kids (as far as I know) like consistancy. Granted, there is nothing you can do regarding the diabetes.. & it's great your focus is on that!
But an adult truce on the disagreements with the two men in your life may just be the way forward...?

Tagging I'm a T1 mum of a T1 daughter. @mahola

Good luck.

Thanks @Jaylee. Yeah all the adult angst is kept totally away from the kidlet, that has always been my very strict rule.