Sexual Problems with type 2 diabetes

[meme]

My boyfriend was diagnosed with this the middle of last year.

Obviously be is overweight and also drank too much alcohol but to begin with his sex drive was still fine.

He is taking Metformin and now drinks less but has not yet lost any specific amount of weight.

I have noticed that in the run up to Xmas his sex drive started to dwindle away even more and we have not had sex since Xmas.

He says he has lost desire and doesnt even get the urge anymore. We tried the other night and he had no urge and couldnt even get an erection.


Im so upset and dont know what to do cos we are both worried he wont get any "desire" to do it back and I dont want to be in a sexless relationship.

I would appreciate it if anybody who has had these problems could give me some advice and let me know if they have had the same experiences and how they got over them.

 

[hanadr]

Diabetes can damage the blood vessels and make erection impossible. Very often, it improves if control is really good. However, it's a common problem in diabetic men. I'm horrified to find thatt most dabetic health careteams don't ask about this routinely. It's so common. However, if the problem persists, the patient has the right to treatment. He needs to go to his care team , tell them and ask for help.
Hana

 

[IanD]

That seems to be a very rapid decline in libido - I have experienced a gradual loss over several years.

How old is he?
Has he other health problems?
What is his HbA1c - blood cell glucose?
Does he measure BG?
What does he eat?

 

[pleonism]

Hey meme,

I personally have never had an issue as I am very masculin. But I know of " someone" very close to me that had an issue...lol.

ok.... my inspiration for gratification has dropped alot due to age/T2/ or both. As for no response at all it happened to me for about 3 months then went away. I do not remember if it had anything to do with BG being out of control. BUT IT DID GO AWAY! So don't give up on your man and don't put any pressure on him as this made me hate my partner for a while when she did.


Good luck and think of all the extra time you have to pray now...lol



pleo

 

[juliadream]

I think this is a common problem. It hit me, and I know 2 other Type 2s with a similar problem (their wives talk, even if they don't!). No way should you let Type 2 spoil your relationship.
As the meerkat would say - Simples! Make an appointment for him to see his GP. Take him there if necessary, and accept no excuses. GP should add Cialis (better than Viagra) to his standing prescription unless there is some other problem. NHS won't prescribe one tab a night, so you have to ration them!
"Going Private", Tadafel is I believe the generic name, but how do we sort out genuine Internet suppliers from scammers?
Any other probs, contact Pamela Stephenson or Mariella Fostrup.

 

[kimyeomans]

Hi
I was diagnosed early part of last year, a good stone and half overweight, sedentary lifestyle, limited and declining sex life. Although it used to be good (so did sport!) we just put it down to getting older (I'm 53), no quality time, kids a priority, bla bla bla....
After diagnosis I learned so many of the things I accepted could be changed for the better. Got a little weight off started to enjoy some exercise again but still sex was a problem.
A lot of good advice has already been given but to add a couple of points
First acknowledge there is a problem, us blokes are not good at that. (would your boyfreind join the forum? we've all been there..)
Second see the problem as a medical condition that is treatable, its not your (boyfreinds) fault, its not a loss of masculinity, its a logical problem due to blood vessels and nerves.
Third comes the confidence do discuss with your GP and ask for help, again not easy for us blokes.
I found that the hardest. I am now on repeat prescriptions of viagra, its limited so budget. Again with a bit of weight of a a bit more energy around, a half is often enough on an empty tum!
To be honest we are having a better time now than for many years!
So dont despair if it is a diabetes lead dysfunction, my experience is it is sortable.
It takes a bit of a change in attitude as spontaneity can suffer, you (both) have to plan a bit but its worth it.

regards
Kim

 

[mackydog10]

Ummm, wot about us women?
Does any one else female find their libido waining?
Id love to know, so i dont feel alone! :wink:

 

[catherinecherub]

Hi mackydog,
There is a question and answer article here about diabetic women's sexual problems. Have a read, you may be able to relate top something there. :wink:

http://www.diabeteshealth.com/read/2009 ... t-of-view/

Catherine.

 

[candyfloss]

Hi Meme

i was diagnosed T2 last summer but manage it reasonably well, I think, by a big reduction in carbohydrates (especially white rice, pasta, potatoes, bread), sugar rich products and extra exercise which has resulted in loss of weight by about 10%. That was enough to correct my body mass index (BMI) so I am not now overweight.

Anyway, I had noticed a gradual increase in erectile dysfunction (ED) over the last couple of years and before being diagnosed T2 I tried Tadalafil (generic Cialis) with very good results. Now I can get it free on prescription from my doctor and I would think your partner will also be able to. I find just half a pill twice a week (2 x 10mg) to be sufficient but of course everyones needs are different. I think buying them from a high street pharmacy can work out the most expensive but there are reliable suppliers through internet who are cheaper if the doctor does not prescribe enough. Send me a PM and I can give you more details.

Apart from the physical effects of diabetes it can also make you feel despondent and give you low self esteem. I found that too affecting my sex life.
So dont be downbeat. Think positively, give some of the ED remedies a try and I'm sure his confidence will return together with his desire.
Best of luck.

 

[lesdav15]

i had the same problems as your husband and i was prescribed viagra at first then i was changed to ciallis which is a lot better and works for 24 to 48 hours after taking , and not like the viagra that was an instant hit , it made me feel that i was making an appointment for sex with taking a viagra but the ciallis is great with me so i would mention them to his doctor , i hope this helps

 

[wpeteraces]

Hi,
I too had problems but my GP offered me viagra which he included on my monthly prescription..
No problems since, although I should add I never did lose "desire" as you call it.

 

[Dee Mauree]

I have had this problem for a few years but I have managed to treat it by discussing the ED with my Doctor. I take Levitra 10mg ( vardenafil). This works faily well. I am afraid yo can only have four tablets per prescription, rationing can be sometime difficult! Please do not despair, this problem can be easily remedied. Think positive and assist him through this difficult time. Remember, he needs to maintain reasonable cotrol of his blood sugar level as this will also help.

 

[soundo26]

I have been diabetic for many years (probably about 20-25). I started getting ED about eight years ago and despite all efforts it has got increasingly worse. I feel so depressed about it, I've tried Viagra, Levitra, Cialis, Uprima and even Caverject, nothing works. I can't see any hope for this, I would love to get back to a healthy sex life, but there just seems to be nothing there.

My only advice to everybody is although you may not feel ill, you are and you must get your sugars under control otherwise you will get hit by this and other complications in later life! Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but with so many diabetics, a reality check is needed!

 

[Janemm]

Ummm, wot about us women?
Does any one else female find their libido waining?
Id love to know, so i dont feel alone! :wink:

I second this. I wish I had seen this post before now.

 

[BigKevSters]

My boyfriend was diagnosed with this the middle of last year.

Obviously be is overweight and also drank too much alcohol but to begin with his sex drive was still fine.

He is taking Metformin and now drinks less but has not yet lost any specific amount of weight.

I have noticed that in the run up to Xmas his sex drive started to dwindle away even more and we have not had sex since Xmas.

He says he has lost desire and doesnt even get the urge anymore. We tried the other night and he had no urge and couldnt even get an erection.


Im so upset and dont know what to do cos we are both worried he wont get any "desire" to do it back and I dont want to be in a sexless relationship.

I would appreciate it if anybody who has had these problems could give me some advice and let me know if they have had the same experiences and how they got over them.

Hi
I feel that his problem is not diabetes, nor ED, I feel his problem is psychological, it is stress from all the problems surrounding his condition and they way he is dealing with it (or not) it could be stress around his job or maybe financial?

I am telling you this from personal experience, I did use viagra but not for the last year I have not because of a TIA (mini stroke) hence one of my other nicknames is SirLikaLot :mrgreen: :shock:

Please help him by getting him help, cuddle but not expecting conclusion so he can use this too show affection, and receive assurance you love him

 

[rosgrech]

Ummm, wot about us women?
Does any one else female find their libido waining?
Id love to know, so i dont feel alone! :wink:

I second this. I wish I had seen this post before now.

TOO RIGHT!!! :lol:

 

[crowjon]

I have had T2 for about 12 years. This is a long reply but it covers most of the topics in one response so please be patient. Just before my T2 diagnosis I started to notice that my libido was dropping and I suffered from ED. I was told by my GP it was because I had been on Beta Blockers (which have the same side-effect) and my meds were changed. However over the years the situation did not improve and I did consult my various doctors but their response was typically..'Well when you get your T2 under control and lose some weight your problem should go away, if not we will address it then'. After my wife died (3.5 years ago) I talked to my doctor about the problems again. I was very fortunate that I have a great GP now and he put me on the usual pills, but they were not successful. He is a man who believes in the male menopause, and suggested that my suspicion about low libido may be due to low Testosterone, coupled with the diabetes and psychological fear of failure (this ED business is very very complex as I was to find out). I had various specialist blood tests and sure enough the Testosterone levels were way down and I was sent to see a specialist Consultant. For the next year I went thrugh various tests and trials using Testosterone Gel and various devices to test the mechanical functions of erection, which included having injections in the penis (not painful as you may think). The latter worked very well, so did the vacuum pump they gave me, but the Lavitra pills to a lesser extent - viagra and Cialis were of little use. The diagnosis was that the main problem was psychological, and this was proved to be true when I was making love to my girlfriend and couldn't 'perform'; she was impatient and thoughtless and her words destroyed my confidence for some time and finished our relationship. I also found out from the doctores that if you do not use it regularly you will lose it, and I was told yo masturbate if I did not have a sexual partner and this would help the return of normal function. I followed the medical specialists advice and I now have a wonderful relationship and very patient girlfriend who has built up my confidence and is prepared to be patient while I 'prepare'; that may be a pill (no jabs now!!!) or the pump (supplied free on prescription for all diabetics). We have happy content life now and no pressures; so take heart all of those who suffer (men and women), there ARE ways and means to overcome ED in MOST cases. You have to put personal embarrasment to one side and communicate your problem(s) to your partner, GP, and those who will help you. Yes I still take my Testogel when I feel my Libido is low... it is a medical requirement not an aphrodisiac! Low T is not good for you!! I do hope this account helps at least some of you, BTW I am 66 and looking forwarde to a lot more years of romance. As a postscript: I did get referred to a Sexual Therapist. Sadly this was of no use as she was only interested in seeing couples!

 

[Lioness3]

Hiya i am a lady of 67 years of age i too have a probem with sex i have had breast cancer which asn't helped then found out that i am a type 2 diabetic put the two to gether and you can guess i have no desire for sex at all my husband is 4 years younger than me so it upsets me about the way i feel i have seen a doctor and the tablets that they can give ladies with this problem is no good to me because you run a risk of breast cancer with them and i have been down that road alreadymy husband and i can talk quite openly about this problem we invested in toys creams and jellies but it still doesn't do anything for me i even told him to take a lover so long as it didn't break up our marriage he had a fit at me and said that would be the last thing on his mind we have so much love for each other and as he said i am still alive and he will settle for that we have our kisses and cuddles and that goes a long way we are also good mates and who knows one day i may even get back what i have been missing and thank you for this subject it's nice to no i am not on my own .
best regards Janet

 

[rosgrech]

Well done Janet!

You are so lucky to have such a rock solid marriage - enjoy the kisses, cuddles and physical closeness of each other as it means so much and fills so many needs.

Rosemary

 

[crowjon]

Yes... well done!!! Janet. I just wish I had tried harder to sort my ED out before I lost my wife. But like you two, we loved each other deeply and we were also the best of friends too, which is a great blessing. For all of you reading this thread, try not to let embarrasment stand in your way to finding a solution. And for those of you who can not, I wish that you can have love and friendship that will transcend the physical issues. Jon