Useless GP appointment

[claymic]

Hi

Sorry about this thread potentially being long but i need to vent. I finally plucked up the courage to go for my blood tests. Whilst the results for cholesterol, kidney and liver were fine my HBA1C was high....and i mean very very high.

I am not making excuses for why it is so high. Unfortunately i am battling a binge eating disorder and find it hard to control what and how much i eat.

so last week went to the GP and obviously was told that i have to start insulin - i am devastated at this because i know i will put on weight and with my BED getting heaviers (am already overweight) it is going to be a vicious cycle. Still doctor asked if i wanted to go on anti depressants which i refused but i am being referred for councelling.

today i had to go and see one of the GPs in the surgery who specifically deals with diabetics and she was ********* useless. She looked at the medicines i take and had to dig out her medicine reference book to check exactly what the Byetta was all about.

she was like...oh in 2012 when you had your tests last it was fine, but now it is very high - do you think she bothered ask me what might have led to that??? oh no...
oh she was like...well you need to start insulin...and i was yeah but i have concerns about that...so the conversation went a bit like:

me: i am concerned about the weight gain
doctor: yes you will put on weight.
me: i am concerned they will take my driving license away
doctor: that only happens if you are a HGV driver
me: well i read that people experience more hunger on insulin
doctor: yes you will be more hungry
me: well i know i need to go on insulin but i feel that it is going to cause me more problems with my eating issues.
doctor: yes you are between a rock and a hard place

i am so angry. do you say to an alcaholic - here have a pill to help your liver but it will increase the urge to drink.

that is why i hate hospitals and doctors - they just see you as a number, they do not know what is behind a person what they have been through - like potentially having an eating disorder, like their mum being diagnosed with cancer, like them feeling upset about not having kids or like them feeling like they rather live less than putting on more weight which make them feel more **** with themselves.

i do not know if i want to scream or cry.

sorry about the length.
thanks for reading

 

[AndBreathe]

I wish I knew what to say to help.

If your HbA1c is really high, it's likely you will feel better with lower numbers, but I understand the route to those lower numbers feels unpalatable right now. It sounds like counselling could be of benefit through this stage.

But, whatever you decide, I hope you find a positive way forward.

 

[donnellysdogs]

Claymic

How high was your hba1c result?

How much extra weight have you got?

To be honest my hubby comfort ate, or when he was stressed. When he's busy enjoying himself at weekends with me he doesn't snack. He's realised this now. It took a long time for him to realise what he does... Are you similarly eating? I know you have mentioned BED, but has anyone ever discussed why and when you eat, ir do you literally feel hungry all the time?

Counselling can help, but through a GP is is likely to take up to 6 months to see a Counsellor depending on your postcode.

I organised for my hubby to see a Counsellor and this was the best thing he did and eventually we went together. I had seen an NHS one previously. The result was staggering. After being told for a long time that I was depressed, it was my hubby that was told was depressed and I wasn't. Have you got support in your life, anybody close to talk to that may be able to be positive with you?

The counsellor We went to actually told me that Since diagnosis 30 years ago with my diabetes that I had accepted 2nd best. He told me in front of hubby that I deserve better.. That wasnt in relation to my hubby-lol!! Just that I can do more, and think better of myself.

You can get off this roundabout that you seem to be on. I too couldnt have children and had a hysterctomy at 32 after 4 years if begging. It was the best thing I did, it made me forget and move on. I have loads of kids around me and never feel sorry for myself because now I am glad I can hand them back at the end of our days out etc...

You list the negatives in your life? Have you any positives?

Thinking of you...


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[claymic]

I am probably about 4 stones over. And my bs is about twice the limit it should be. I hate my diabetes even though I had it for 10 years. I know my over eating is partly to punish myself for being sick. I am getting married next year. I do not want to be even bigger than I am now. Last year I had some private counselling but I think it was not the right type for me.

I am waiting now to be contacted by a diabetic specialist nurse. The Gp can start me on insulin himself but I am wondering if I would be better off at a hospital diabetic clinic instead

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[Squire Fulwood]

i am so angry. do you say to an alcaholic - here have a pill to help your liver but it will increase the urge to drink.

I am an alcoholic and am fairly happy with that since I am a wino and do not binge on spirits. My doctor advises otherwise and I respect the fact that he gives me good advice.

It is me that chooses to ignore it. It is only me that can do anything about it if it becomes necessary. I have never taken it to the doctor's asking him to cure it since it is a failing (?) in me.

My signature says what my attitude to life is and I also am between a rock and a hard place and, for the moment, it is me who chooses to stay there.

 

[claymic]

I never said that I am not responsible for my bs being high.

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[Scandichic]

Here's a thought. I need to ideally lose 4 stone. I have set my target as 3 stone 4lbs. I have already lost 1 stone 11lbs. When I first started I was directed to a site called www.dietdoctor.com and I learnt about low carb high fat. What it means is ditch the sugar, rice, potatoes, bread and pasta. I thought that the rice and bread would proof difficult but actually, with a bit of imagination I now eat really taxty food. I eat cheese, meat, fish, eggs, green veggies and a bit of fruit. I never go hungry. Of course I miss the sugar and my evening glass of wine. Twice a week I have a glass of wine and I have a square of dark chocolate most nights. Initially it was hard with the sugar. I wasn't hungry but I fancied it. Got through it though. You feel a bit **** for a couple of weeks but it halved my bs and brought my cholesterol down. Why don't you try it - what have you got to lose?

 

[Squire Fulwood]

I never said that I am not responsible for my bs being high.

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I know you didn't. Tell me who is then and what he is going to do about it. Your doctor has nowhere to go on this so it's up to you or no-one.

 

[Squire Fulwood]

Please explain

" I now eat really taxty food."

What is taxty? Did you mean tasty?

 

[claymic]

Thanks Scandichic. I do need to low carb. My binges are carb heavy as you can imagine so I think that is why I struggle because something in my mind goes like.....omg this is the last time you ever will have bread pasta etc so eat eat eat

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[Karbstruck]

Whether or not to take insulin is obviously a very difficult decision for you. I would also be extremely upset if faced with the same dilemma. Perhaps you could make use of this disturbing situation to increase your motivation to try to manage your diabetes with low carbing and exercise.
I understand that binge eating is a problem and I don't think you are alone there. Quite a few of us here can probably look back and realise that binge eating possibly contributed to us contracting diabetes type 2 (though not all, of course.) I could eat a whole packet of biscuits sometimes, rather than stopping at one or two. The thing is that when your BS is high, your body is not absorbing the sugars, so you feel hungry all the time because you are not getting the energy to your muscles, so you eat more to get the energy that you feel your body needs, which just compounds the problem.
Since trying a low carbish diet, along with Metformin, I have managed to get my BS down to much better levels. I found that it was the carbs that had made me feel constantly hungry and when I stopped eating any sugar, most fruits or grain based products like bread, pasta, rice etc and replacing them with eggs, salads, meat, avocado and green vegs I felt less hungry. I do still eat 100g full fat Greek yoghurt for breakfast with 1 tsp flaxmeal and a handful of raspberries. Maybe have an omelette with onion, tomatoes, chilli etc for lunch and maybe a steak and some stir fry veg for dinner. If I get the munchies later, I have some low fat jelly with full fat cream or some almonds, brazil nuts....and I still sometimes eat a few too many. I also have milk in coffee, though I know it would help me lose weight if I gave it up. I don't drink sodas or fruit juice. Over the 4 months since diagnosis, I have tried to walk for an hour each day and so far I have lost 10kg. It's not so much compared with the high success rates of many others on here, but I feel I am making some progress.
I know if I were in your situation fear of going on insulin and gaining more weight would motivate me to try a bit harder to manage my eating plan.
In fact, it was fear of diabetes complications that motivated me to cut down

 

[Karbstruck]

When I tried to post that msg, I got disconnected and the last few sentences were lost. Anyway good luck with your decision, Claymic.

 

[Scandichic]

Please explain

" I now eat really taxty food."

What is taxty? Did you mean tasty?

Saw the error once I'd hit post and was suffering from a serious case of CBA! Does that make me a bad person? Here's an example of taxty food!

 

[Brunneria]

My experience was that, as I reduced carbs, my blood glucose levelled out and the desire to binge on carbs virtually disappeared.

Looking back, I spent a long time blaming and criticising myself for giving in to physical cravings caused by chemical imbalances. Like I could ever have resisted a screaming need to counter a hypo! And my years of undiagnosed depression were a symptom, not a cause, of my blood sugar problems.

I am significantly happier, healthier and more resilient than I was in those years. I'm delighted that I now know what was wrong and why I felt that way. And that it is not because I am a greedy/pathetic/repulsive/unloveable failure lacking in will power - which I believed for years.

I don't want to assume that you feel like that, but just in case you do, insulin may be the light at the end of the tunnel for you.

 

[Spiker]

@claymic it sounds like you have come to a crossroads, and there are only two ways to go. You either double down on the low carb diet, or you are going to have to accept insulin. So use that aversion to going on insulin and pour all the energy into dieting. As other people have said, so much of what you are struggling with mentally will disappear once you get the carbs reduced and the horrible insulin swings out of your system. That carb hunger is caused by carbs. In some people - you and me included - it's not unlike an addiction. But honestly, if you cut the carbs the addiction goes away. And with the swings and cravings gone, you will feel in control of your life, and you will escape that feeling of lack of control, and self recrimination, that drives depression, and paradoxically can drive us to emotional eating.

Time to make a choice. Best of luck.

 

[Scandichic]

Thanks Scandichic. I do need to low carb. My binges are carb heavy as you can imagine so I think that is why I struggle because something in my mind goes like.....omg this is the last time you ever will have bread pasta etc so eat eat eat

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How about: I can eat anything I like. It's my body and my health. However I'm a grown up and some things aren't great choices. So I choose not to eat this right now. This is the philosophy I use. I thought that rice would be horrible to give up. About 2 weeks ago we made an executive decision to see what would happen if I ate rice. Bs through roof. Felt really ill. Decided it didn't taste as great as I remembered. Infact it didn't taste of anything. Consensus. Bad for me- makes me feel ill and tastes of nothing. Quite happy to remove that one from the list. One food at a time, say I!

 

[claymic]

Thanks guys hope appreciate you taking time to give me your feedback. I feel stronger now mostly because I am so annoyed at the doctor from this morning. I will make the best of my counselling sessions. I know I am very weak when it comes to food and I have to take it bit by bit because after all the months and months of binging just stopping is going to make me crash big time

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[popsy]

Thanks Scandichic. I do need to low carb. My binges are carb heavy as you can imagine so I think that is why I struggle because something in my mind goes like.....omg this is the last time you ever will have bread pasta etc so eat eat eat

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I am 61. I have binge eaten for the majority of my life. I thought it would comfort me in times of trouble and it did...for about 5 minutes. Food is just food, it's fuel we can't do without. It won't take the place of friends, it won't cure loneliness or disease, it can't possibly be your friend or give you advice. It's simply food. My wake up was my diabetes and not even that straight away. Ignored it until I had to go onto Glipizide and THEN I found out about what I was dealing with, found this Forum and my life changed, completely and absolutely changed forever. As Squire Fulwood said, until you can take responsibility for what you do, you will never change. It's a harsh reality but it's true.

I know that you of all people might understand what it feels like not to have that overwhelming feeling of eating until you feel sick and can't move and then the guilt afterwards. Well, I feel fantastic claymic, I feel as if I could conquer the world and know what? So can you! You have to get a grip on this or the saying "If you do what you have always done, you will get what you've always got" is going to be inevitable. My binge eating led to my diabetes, that isn't under dispute. I got myself in this position and only I could have got myself out of it and with the help of this forum and the amazing people on it, I have. I had hardly any advice from my doctor, quite honestly it's only here that I have found out how to change my life but at least I did have here and so do you. Counselling will only take you so far, in he end it's you who's stood in front of the fridge or the chocolate counter at the supermarket and it's only you who can walk away.

You can do this you know. And in this place there are people who will help you, support you and provide you with the tools you need to change. Insulin may be inevitable for you but even there it's possible to deal with it and still come out the other side in triumph.

Diabetes saved my life, strange but true.

Good luck

 

[Daibell]

First, insulin doesn't make you more hungry and it only causes weight gain if you eat too many carbs; that's the carbs not the insulin. You know you have to reduce the carbs. Taking insulin when overweight can make it very difficult to get the balance right due to insulin resistance so it really will help if you can get nearer to a good BMI. It does take good discipline but if you can break snacking carbs by having nuts or cheese and gradually reducing the carbs you will stop craving them. Good luck.

 

[tizzy]

Hi claymic it's miserable when treated like that but I know from myself and other posters that when blood sugars are high it can make you very hungry I thought it was just me so insulin may help you in the long run its weird but I'm desperate for food usually sweet stuff but when I'm low I feel sick and don't want to eat I have to sip fruit juice what a weird affliction diabetes is I was also told I would gain some weight but after 1/2 a stone or so all other eight gain was down to over eating just as a non diabetic would in the nurses words if you choose to inject insulin to eat doughnuts you will gain weight like she would if she ate lots of doughnuts I hope I make sense have a good scream but don't let them get you down advice I need to take as well