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From Bad To Worse

Published by coby in the blog coby's blog. Views: 124

The weeks and months following being 'dumped' by my fiance were depressingly empty and dismal.
Because my brothers all lived a distance away it was left to me to sort out mum's estate and affairs, with just the
occasional visit from my nearest brother, 18 miles away.
I had absolutely no one to support or advise me and I'd never had to do anything like this before.
Anyone who has ever had to go through a parent's personal belongings will know how excruciatingly difficult this is.
Crikey, I never even looked at her bank book in all the times I withdrew cash for her!
So to go through her personal papers, letters, and other private belongings was horrible and felt so intrusive.
But each had to be assessed for keeping or disposing of.
It took many weeks to get to the stage of putting the house on the market, but at least my brother and his wife did come over to help me
with clearing it, which I shall be eternally grateful for.
All of this time I kept my broken engagement to myself, and still wore the ring if leaving my home.
I think it was a safety valve looking back now, for I know that if anyone had offered me sympathy then I'd have broken down under the
immense weight of coping with everything, and my only outlet ... my one comfort was food.
I consoled myself with cheesy baked potatoes, rice puddings, or a steaming cup of Horlicks each evening because I had no one to put an arm
around my shoulder and tell me that I was doing fine, or to listen to my fears and woes.
The crunch came when my ex fiance asked for the ring back.
I sent it via registered post the following day and in a way it was what was needed to make me face the fact that he was gone for ever.
I then HAD to tell everyone who noticed my bare finger, but I did at least manage to stay calm and not break down.
Mum's house sold very quickly and a few months later the new owners moved in, so the heavy weight of responsibility for it finally eased.
It was now January, 2019, eight months without mum, and I hoped to begin recovery.
But how very wrong I was to think so ...
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