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During my health discussion with my GP, the question arose because of how the symptom of anxiety was part of my condition.
Why am I so unusual, unique, weird?
Of course during everybody's life, something or quite often something's, happen to each of us, mostly that is knowledge that is known, but, I would assume that the question is likely to be, why is this happening to me?
With anxiety, the overthinking of trivial matters looms large in the thought process. The needless worry, the unnecessary feelings of why, when, which, how? Are at the forefront of everything you need or want to do.
The debate of how much to tell others close to you, especially if you believe that it may hurt, worry, anger them.
Will I be able to do things and how it will affect all those around you?
And so on!
You sometimes let things sort themselves out, but that can make things worse, won't it?
You can ignore them, but you still worry, what happens next!
If I stick to the same things, the same routine, make a special effort, so things will be ok, then your worries will go, but they don't! I have to make people happy or they will be unhappy with me! Just don't like confrontation or arguing, do my best to avoid it! Hate not doing my best, just in case, it comes back and then someone close or your boss shouts at you!
You just can't please people, especially, when you don't get your deserved rewards, you believe that you are not good enough. You need to be praised! You need reassurance, you want to know that someone does really love you and someone will listen and answer to you.
And on and on, round and round!
Because of the symptoms of anxiety have now all but gone, because of my really good health and control.
Most of which I described, have not much bearing on my life now, I can think of better things to think about and I can do things which were near impossible during the time I was really ill. I am much happier and carefree.
However, the answer still alludes me!
Why have I got a condition that has no cure, and no known cause?
Why am I, as my endocrinologist has said, one in a million of all the people in the world, that has been recorded or worse, depending on your attitude, one in half a billion known male patients, with my medical diagnosis, with my condition of Late Reactive Hypoglycaemia?
I've said it before! Wow!
Why am I so weird, so unique, so unusual?
And before you say it, I am definitely not special!
Just an ordinary Joe, normal (ish) family, wife, kids, grandkids etc, works for a living!
You couldn't pick me out if you tried!
So, why me?
Answers on a stamp and post to Santa, as a present for Christmas!
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