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  1. Earlier this year I was put on the Metformin ✻ceiling dose✻ ..which decreased my HbA1c only marginally ..I'm in the amber zone ..but shall attempt to push myself back into the safer green.

    I currently round off lunch with a raw apple ..it is a substitute for my weekday flapjack habit ..summat that won't ✻unpick✻ my diabetes regimen.

    Virtuously, I also freeze batches of diabetes-friendly food ..getting produce from the market and cooking from scratch ..to avoid shop-bought ✻ready meals✻ full o' salt.

    I've calculated the area of the tableware I use is 20% less now that I eat with diabetes ..clockwork mealtimes, too.
  2. A typical cartoon depiction of a Type 2 patient ✻deserving✻ diabetes because of poor lifestyle choices ..is a mutation of the old ✻mother-in-law✻ jokes of the 1960s ..it has unsympathetic overtones.

    A typical cartoon depiction of ✻Type 1✻ is quite different ..it's a medicalisation ..the pancreas is the ✻victim✻ here ..the tone is more compassionate.

    Such cartoons are readily searchable for art directors and editors via major ✻stock image✻ agencies ..bizarrely, I've seen these ✻funnies✻ used to lighten serious diabetes reports ..this is of-course ✻commissioned✻ artwork.

    What is the ✻message✻ behind the commission and publication of a cartoon that insults diabetics?
  3. I roughed out a plan to treat myself to an all-day breakfast sarni + a medio Caffé Mochabetic at lunchtime ..on one machine I was running an intricate multi-physics problem and on the other browsing the internet for riding macs.

    At 11:30 I had rapid-onset abdominal pain ..and had a film of sweat on my face ..it is difficult to phrase my mental state at that time ..but I believed myself to be in serious trouble ..and instinctively left the room where I'd been by myself and moved down the corridor ..an academic colleague printing a document didn't look round ..but asked if I had a ✻bad back✻ (I was walking with a stoop) ..near the double doors I then grabbed some railings ..then he and another colleague who I had never much liked came to my rescue ..by which time I was rambling and apologising for being ✻a nuisance✻

    They decided I should go to A&E and called some folk from Security to arrange this.

    Looking at my reflection in the mirror in the elevator on the way out of the complex ..my face looked troubled ..I looked like a Victorian mugshot of a crook ..and I kept repeating how sorry I was this had happened.

    It was surreal standing on the right side of the blue line in A&E waiting for my name to be called ..the lecturer who had come with me in the taxi to the hospital ..showed me messages popping up on his mobile from other folk at work wishing me well ..it really was humbling how folk were rallying round like this.

    At 12:30 I was on a trolley in a gown having just given a reading of 7.9 mmol/L ..my BP was 138 over ✻something✻ ..and I had a number of other blood samples taken ..and a scan of my belly area with gel and probes.

    It was quite lonely laying in a curtained-off area with stomach pain ..but this evaporated at 14:45 ..I called out to use a phone ..and a Pastor in a bright green top came to speak to me ..it was a comfort ..in a Radio 2 ✻Good Morning Sunday✻ sense ..she offered to pray for me ..but I declined this ..the old heathen I am ..even though I always carry an olive wood cross in my overalls top pocket ..the ✻paradox✻ I am.

    I left the hospital at 18:50 and made my own way home.

    On the next Monday ..I had a telephone appointment with my GP ..he said the hospital tests showed all my values to be in the ✻normal✻ range.

    The episode had nowt to do with my medication either, apparently.

    My own feeling is that my diabetes is ✻implicit✻ in what happened to me ..although there is no medical evidence to prove this ..it doesn't mean this wasn't the reason why.

    When I returned to work ..I took with me some chocs and Thank-you cards for the blokes ..some friends-for-life now ..and found my machines still to be logged in ..✻Marie Celeste✻ stylee.
  4. I stow my diabetes medication in an ✻airtight✻ container to keep it pharmacy-fresh ..it also makes it easier for me to keep a tally of my remaining doses.

    My entire kit is compartmentalised into boxes ..in one I keep a tape measure (to monitor my girth) along with a Calorie Counter book ..in another a spare pack of low-GI ginger biscuits ..and so on.

    Each is the equivalent of a folder on a computer ..I've a drawerful of my tranklements in a big filing cabinet.

    All this paid off a recently when the council recently did a major electrical installation on the property ..drilling holes into the masonry, etc ..there was lots of ✻grimy dust✻ in the air and on most surfaces.

    Knowing my diabetes gear is uncontaminated is one less concern.
  5. The reason my soles looked ✻dirty✻ was because the skin was so dry ..so I went to buy some foot-cream in a pharmacy in my local shopping centre.

    My body must have spoken to my mind ..because I asked if I could have a free diabetes test ..because these were being advertised on a pink, black and white sign above the counter.

    I was told there were no slots available ..so I asked again.

    At 10:30 on Saturday April 22 2006 in a side room the glucometer gave a reading of 23.8 mmol/L ..after some form filling I was asked to return at 16:30 for another blood test ..and this time my reading was 17.8 mmol/L

    On Wednesday May 3 2006 I was officially dx'd Type 2 after my fasting blood test came in as 17.2 mmol/L ..and about a month after that I was put on one Metformin a day.

    Since then ..I have turned in consistently ✻healthy numbers✻ at subsequent Reviews ..I've actually made a career out of managing my diabetes.

    I gorge myself with ✻guilty pleasures✻ songs on my pocket radio when I'm out and about ..taking detours to cram in more ♥cheesy pop♥ ..and have retrained my palate to break my ✻cravings cycle✻

    On one occasion I had a fall because of a ✻Vasovagal Attack✻ ..and it happened as I was walking past a 24 hours off-licence ..and no one would come near me surmising I was a drunk ..and for this reason alone my advice to diabetic folk is to carry some form of ✻medical ID✻ ..a lone male is particularly unlikely to get much sympathy otherwise ..so do carry ✻medical ID✻
  6. The monotony with which I manage my diabetes suits my personality, as I'm a creature of routine.

    My life's trajectory changed in 2006

    I remember the exact moment in the pharmacy side room when the glucose meter flashed a reading of 22 mmol/L

    Naïvely, I'd thought I'd be going straight onto insulin therapy, not knowing about the two or more classifications of diabetes, let alone the spectrum of treatments.

    About a week later I was diagnosed with Type 2 at the age of 50 and was put on a diet-and-exercise trial, and six weeks later, I was put on one Metformin a day.

    In the last three years this has been escalated to four Metformin a day, which suggests to me that the progress of my diabetes is accelerating.

    On top of that, "Diabetes, Renal Failure" is listed on a first-degree relative's death certificate as Cause II

    Despite the gravity of diabetes, I feel emotionally detached from it. But I do possess my diabetes ..it's definitely mine.
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