1. Get the Diabetes Forum App for your phone - available on iOS and Android.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Guest, we'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the Diabetes Forum Survey 2021 »
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Diabetes Forum should not be used in an emergency and does not replace your healthcare professional relationship. Posts can be seen by the public.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. Guest, stay home, stay safe, save the NHS. Stay up to date with information about keeping yourself and people around you safe here and GOV.UK: Coronavirus (COVID-19). Think you have symptoms? NHS 111 service is available here.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
Find support, ask questions and share your experiences. Join the community »
Color
Background color
Background image
Border Color
Font Type
Font Size
  1. I have been on this forum nearly ten years
    I have posted just over 13,000 posts. And this will be my 90th blog entry.
    And you can't imagine how this forum has been my own personal data friend, if it's not on here, there will be someone along with good advice of their experience.
    In the years since diagnosis, there were special people on here, who advised me with how beneficial a very low carb diet can be so effective. We discussed various methods of the pros and come of what we wanted to achieve because we were on new ground. We discussed the results we were getting when I was in my experimental phase, testing and recording, testing, recording and so on, different meals, different aspects of weight, portion size, and we were adjusting our approach. We got there, my health improved, I got my life back.
    I was so grateful, grateful enough to log in, and see if there was someone else who had symptoms, hypos, and were non diabetics. That can't happen to a T2?
    Read again, I'm a non diabetic, and I can have hypoglycaemic episodes.
    And it is called Reactive Hypoglycaemia.
    Along with the hypos, I can have repeat hypos, because and if you are unaware of my condition, I create too much insulin!
    Yes, too much!
    But every doctor, dsn, dietician. Couldn't help me through this. It wasn't until my new endocrinologist realised that I had this rare condition. And finally did the tests and recommended this website. And I know, now, his insight and his intellectual foresight, and working through the symptoms and constant hypoglycaemia. He needs the tests to prove his theory. He, I believe saved my life.

    To sum up, I have quite a few people to be thankful for, and I haven't got to my family, who unintentionally have had to put up with my moods and my weirdness, as I have said repeatedly.

    I decided then and there, after I had got myself as much sorted to lose weight and to help other posters, to help those who needed my experience.

    And slowly became quite proficient in replying to posters. And I became knowledgeable in how to advise a low carb diet and it's benefits, and then my wife got T2!
    I had been misdiagnosed with T2 in 2009!
    So with my curiosity and the wife not being totally able to help herself, I realised that as a good husband should, do a similar search, to try and get her control.
    Again, even though, there are similar symptoms, a T2 can only go hypo usually because of meds.
    Or, as I have learned from others, you can actually get T2, if uncontrolled hypoglycaemia persists.
    You can also have similar conditions that have the symptoms of either T2, RH, and because of the food angle, and the impact of sugar and carbs on our digestive system and more particularly the hormone response and the brain gut trigger.

    But I as usual, am rambling on about things off the point.

    I got picked for a trial of a gliptin.
    I have a medical paper published because of the trial, where I learned so much about oral glucose tolerance tests.
    My wife was one of the second round of T2 patients to try a drug, which has had phenomenal success. But not suitable for all. Also I also learned a lot about glicizide, as the wifes father was prescribed it.
    More research.
    I got a full time job!
    I had a job within professional sport, where I spent time asking stupid questions about diet, I even persuaded the nutritionist to get rid of sports drinks, glucose drinks and use just water and gel for hydration.
    Even got the fitness coach to take a lighter load on carbs during the week except the day prior. And encourage carb free off sesason.
    So we had three great years, gaining promotion back to back.
    Then covid!
    I got put on furlough and then lost my job!
    This was personally an attack on my sensibility and my belief in treating people as equal and my life had been hard enough.
    I had a breakdown, I couldn't cope, my brain couldn't cope, I had almost lost it all, only had my family left.
    I learned many, many years of coaching youngsters to be proactive, so, not really feeling particularly good, and being coerced, I finally reluctantly phoned for help. I was a complete mess, I couldn't face anyone, to put and something like shopping would cause panic attacks. My GP was brilliant.
    I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression!
    Don't forget, this was in the height of the first wave of the pandemic. I was in lockdown and shielding and I was the only one to shop. I needed to shop for fresh meat for me and good veg for us.
    The food parcel were just full of carbs. So I asked them for a special dietary package. But told to.........be grateful!

    I had a counsellor helping me with an hours session every week.
    After being so low, it had to be aggressive, I was put on anti depressants and they began to work.
    I learned that to go through something like this was to get my physical health sorted, and to be receptive to ideas and be prepared to talk and let them decide with your agreement the next steps in my treatment.
    I learned a lot about depression and anxiety and I could relate to the feeling and the symptoms and, speaking to many others how mental illness can effect us in so many ways. And talking is good especially if somebody is listening and understanding what you need, at that time.
    You have to be prepared to stop the negativity, to get up one morning and face up to the world and decide whether you can go forward or take a day off. With not feeling guilty of uselessness and all the other lows. To tell others of your needs and wants and your families wishes, and try and get them to understand why you don't want to be with them or share time, and all you want is your space, your place of solace, your bed or your lounge, because you can't be bothered with anybody's company, you prefer and only in certain circumstances do you bother. And with all this and the rest of the things that have got you here, the pressure of having to decide really unimportant issues is huge and to do anything sometimes is impossible.
    My anxiety issues were unbelievable. Getting me in the garden or to walk to the shop and go in. Walking I could do. Because I can't get anything wrong. Shopping I could and I had forgot or wasn't there, I did t want to upset the wife and try and explain why.
    One of the important roles is listening, and being there.
    Talking it through and baby steps, and do it at your pace.
    It is your health and your brain and after all this, it is up to you to change your demeanour, your outlook on life, and face up to the truth, with help, you and only you can sort it all out and retrieve some semblance of getting back to being you again, or as near as possible. And this will take time!

    I developed new symptoms and traits, my GP sent me to a neurologist, I had another condition called Essential Tremor syndrome. I think it's an easier way to say I'm particularly nervous and even when it's a good day, my hands and body parts still shaking. And it can be awful when under pressure.
    Then I went to see my GP about my bloods results and noticed my legs moving all the time, as they are now!
    Neurologist and another nervous condition called Restless Legs Syndrome.

    When will it stop?

    But, because of everything else going on and the bad news keeps on coming, the days of being on here and the time necessary sometimes that others need help. I have to look after myself.
    I have posted several times, that I'm not me!
    I have not got the same enthusiasm or the patience to think things through.
    I have not got the confidence I had in dealing with others.
    And the important part, that I am beginning to not trust my memory.
    I have become more clear of how my future mental health issues will gradually affect my health, my brain function clarity won't get better, and it it so typical of my brain fog lifting in keto, then in the last few weeks, it has returned, and fasting and keto won't lift it! And then longer the day the more I suffer from it.
    I have looked and searched, I have asked my GP, my neurologist, my endocrinologist and because of my blood tests, once again, normal, normal, normal! Vitamin d deficiency, but getting better, but the brain fog draws on me. I'm sleeping all night, and napping in the afternoon, not getting easier, only walking in the evening just after my one meal a day, do I feel better and no, I have not walked and it is worse.
    My depression has lifted, but my anxiety is still there, can you wonder why?
    So I have come to the decision, like many others before me, to hang my boots up and put my dressing gown on and retire gracefully.
    For as long as I live, I will be so ever thankful for the support and friendships and of course, those like me, who doesn't understand some of the diabetes types, T1 in particular and why they are so different to other endocrine conditions.
    Saying that, aren't we individuals and like fingerprints we have different aspects of metabolic symptoms, regardless of the tag or label that we are diagnosed or misdiagnosed.
    Maybe being weird and different than most of the population because I produce too much insulin has taught me to be more open minded about how these conditions are so alike but so different.

    The best advice is ask yourself, what is effective for you, get your dietary balance sorted, your exercise regime suited to you, get a plan and be flexible enough to change if it's not working, take readings and keep a food diary, be pleasent, be kind, be patient, be considerate to others, be a friend, be tolerant, read what you post, and don't be afraid of being an idiot.
    Open mind, open opinion, opens the door to open the world.

    Your life is a wave.
    It is created in the sea.It rolls in on the tide.
    It diminishes on the sand.
    And the wave is returned back into the sea.

    Thank you, and may your God bless and keep you!

    You can change your health, if you want, only you can do it, don't rely on others to sort it for you!
    Always ask for help and let those with experience guide you, to help you with your decisions.

    Keep safe, My best wishes.
  2. The big event took place, with the chancellor throwing money around as if it doesn't exist, and how he dressed it up, without promising any money at all.
    The only reason he could do this, was because, and he didn't tell us, he said the economy recovered. But it was because of the amount of taxes collected on the goods, that because of covid. The majority and me of course, had some money to spend and we actually did splurge out. The only reason why the economy grew, had nothing to do with the chancellor or the government, it wasn't a fiscal policy, or all the billions wasted on government policies.
    It was me and you spending our hard earned cash that was an unexpected bonus to the treasury.
    The reason I'm confused is the spending review, was as one commenter said, a great deal for bankers, but absolutely heartbreaking for those without or on minimum pay. You cannot live on that wage, it is just not enough. The chancellor was asked if he could live on £100 per week? He never answered the question!
    What confuses me, is that the stimulus of the growth, is the purchasing power of the population, the excess money after paying taxes and housing costs including power and petrol, is getting less and less for millions. So why increase tax of those who are struggling because of the cost of living? Winter and Christmas is not far away!
    Every financial outgoing has gone up. Whereas the pay of every worker in the last ten years has lost 30% of his purchasing power.
    Public pay is decided by a panel, with advice from civil servants and the government.
    But not from next tax year. Minimum wage next April. And so on. But no hard promises.
    All the spending plans, in their document, are top ups from, spending plans announced beforehand, or not before the budget due before the giveaway budget of the last month's year of this government. Or this could be, a pre election budget depending on how it is received.
    I'm still confused. It certainly felt like one because unusually leaking the beneficial effects for some getting into the media days before the budget.
    The likelihood of other than a Tory government after the the next election is very small, simply because of the system of electing MPs in a constituency. Because of the diversity of parties in Wales, Scotland, N. Ireland, the fact that the boundary commission has changed some rural areas to enhance the party. Is why, a single party would need a change bigger than the last Labour government, to even get a one seat majority.
    This is not a true reflection of the percentage of voting for each party. For example if the number of votes for one party is 40%, they will have a government with a majority. The other parties, if they got 40%, they would have to bring in other parties to form a minority government. And another party in general election not too long ago, achieved a 20%vote and only won about fifteen seats. Which is just ridiculous.
    To round up, no mention of covid, no mention of food banks, no mention of anything to help homeless. No mention of food shortages or the food chain or how we are getting the skills into business, because of a lack of investment, no rights, nowt on reforms, prisons, very little on building affordable housing, and it's nearly getting to the point, where a couple couldn't even afford to buy a social affordable house, because the price of housing only benefits the rich and landlords who rent them at high rents.
    There has been a number of economists who have studied the spending review and in their opinion, the numbers of people who will be pushed into poverty along with the five million either in poverty or on the cusp including, the pensioners, the children, the disabled, the infirm, the vulnerable people of our communities. Those who will stop spending money on the basics, which should be the driving force behind basic foodstuffs and growth of cheap junk food.
    No mention of growth in the green industries to foster cheaper energy costs, no plans to help the environment, nothing for working families, except for tax rises, national insurance, local government taxes, and growing energy prices, petrol, diesel or heating oils.
    Not much for internet growth or 5G. Little bits for education, hospitals and public health.
    Nothing about the online multinational companies, and increasing their taxes, to help the high street, it has been forgotten and shops are disappearing, pubs and clubs are disappearing.
    Nothing on school dinners or funding nursery places. Nothing helping working mothers, nowt for single parents, nowt extra for pensioners, disabled. Nowt extra for so many things, including, how are they gonna pay for the next tax breaks?
    Council's cannot afford to be paying higher public pay rises for the police and the staff of the council workforce. Is this government instead of taking money away from councils, gonna put money into the budget to offset pay or are the likes of you and me, gonna pay for it through local taxes?
    Another economic professor, told the news, that, this country is going through another pandemic and this government is again taking too long or diverting resources and will cause another wave of depression and inflation. Which is the reason I'm confused.
    It doesn't make economic sense, it doesn't help the majority of the population and because of certain governmental decisions, due to the personality of those making these decisions.

    Stay safe, thanks for reading
  3. I was having a intellectual conversation with my 5 year old granddaughter, who is more tech savvy, even though she hasn't had much schooling and is struggling a little bit with the 3 Rs. Her mum told us that her behaviour was erratic and of course, in school, she is a sweet innocent girl.
    I mentioned that Christmas was close, and Santa would be taking notes about who's been good and who's been bad? Unfortunately, as my granddaughter is also street wise, she laughed and told her mum without having to think about it, that her nanny would never see her without present.
    So without thinking with my foot in my mouth, I asked the little princess, had she written her Christmas list yet?
    Doh!
    She replied to this as if planned, I will get daddy to write things for me!
    Trying to keep a straight face, I went to the kitchen and put the kettle on. And of course, young madam had her drinking cup refilled. With a little treat on the side.

    I had a few chores in my garden while it wasn't raining, and as usual, being outside and doing something that is the key to let me think deeply about my life and everything else, my thoughts quickly went on to Christmas lists and wishes, after a while, not more than a couple of minutes, my old job which I needed a list of lists to keep on top of everything, I didn't want to go there, but the wishing didn't want to leave my thoughts.
    What would I wish for, for Christmas?
    That, had me worried and wonder why, now with a slight possibility of having a family Christmas, what I really wanted, but that is not easy, when you have a big family and they really spoil me if I give them an idea. Then the lot of them relentlessly phone each other, to ensure the presents were sorted. And of course they surprise me with their generosity. I ramble!
    To the next thought that linked, my imagination took over and because of my random thoughts, I started to wonder what the rest of my life had in store for me. The thought that the next few years would be as bad as the last few was unimaginable, that would take me to what happens when I die. Typical me!
    I have been watching a couple of tv series, both comedies about what happens in the afterlife. Probably nothing, but you know if you believe in what you have been taught, then if I was religious, a Christian, I would go to heaven (or hell) or something in between.
    So the big question is, what do I wish for and be heavenly for me?
    There is a lot of cruel answers to this, so stop thinking of one dear readers.

    My thoughts turned to some of the places I have been, the places in my childhood and of course through my work and pleasure. I can instantly tell you, that there are major differences in this life between the rich, the poor and those either just above being poor or below that are comfortably ok, the difference between having a good life, without struggling for paying the bills, do have their own bit of heaven, here! But those who live in the poorest areas and really struggle to even have food is a hell on earth already.

    I would wish to continue in this vein of thought but moving on to other related thoughts.
    My wishes for my afterlife, are based on my experience and the question of my too often, luxury items or holidays or getting away to various historical places. Having a yacht on a Greek island, for instance, have you seen how many British owned and registered yachts are in the Mediterranean? To afford the likes of just enjoying life. To be healthy and happy, avoiding the tendency to worry about everything and everyone close to me. The realisation that I'm coping with a rare condition that then gave me thoughts that the next place we go to, is definitely not going to be just one person's perspective of heaven. My idea of heaven is so different to any of my family, just for starters. Then, if you widen the thought to all the living and our ancestors and the diversity of religions, beliefs, customs, races, creeds or politics. Granting wishes on this scale is overwhelming.
    Or do we all go to the same place, respectively? Is it similar to your life and likes? Is it the place to be? Is it possible that what we want or wish for is there for you waiting? Or in this life, you are in training for the next one?
    Are you based on a points system for good or bad, and this decides what sort of place you have there?
    So many questions?
    Can it be so complicated? Could it be so simple and these thoughts are nonsense.
    Will I have my condition?
    Will my disability not be there?
    Do I have to work?
    How will I look?
    What sort of rules and laws do they have.
    What about the criminal element?
    Do we need currency?
    Can I drink again?
    Can I have a chip buttie?
    Will my mental health be gone?
    The mentally ill and severely disabled?
    Will growing old be a part of the afterlife?
    And because I have watched too many sci-fi tv and movies and countless books on alternative timeline and of course different parallel universe?
    And if I have interpreted my dreams, and the weird things that keeps happening? For example, I have had really strange recurring dreams of a past life or lives, or the many instances of deja vu, or at my stage of life, I have a tendency to forget about recent things. But I can answer obscure questions which are not in areas of my knowledge, or have never took interest in. Then again, books I have read, then a second read, and I cannot believe that I know that I have read it, but can't remember the plot, story or even some of the characters.
    So, you see, my idea of what my afterlife is no one else's, we are so individual, in the make up of psychology and sociology, we are so different, that life teaches you to sacrifice time, energy and money on those around you, to give to those unfortunate they have not got. The idea of being a Christian, hence Christmas and giving is more important than receiving, the world's religions are very similar to pass God's message on. I do believe that being decent in this life, will be a big part of your future afterlife and lives. The diversity of diversity in this life, lends me to think that there is nothing to worry about and my continuous existence will be like this life, be important to be open to all people, not to judge, ridicule or criticise, to be aware of their capabilities and never stop learning and teaching, to give back without receiving, your knowledge and skills.
    Some people just don't care what is next they are enjoying this one too much.
    So what is your wish, in the afterlife?
    Some are silly, some are logical, some are not.
    When ever you swear, and someone near says, I hope so. Their afterlife is wishing for sexual gratification. So, if it is possible, too much will have consequences, eventually get bored and move on to something else, if they can?
    As your wishes, are granted, what next? How many different wishes can you have or is it limited and you can get what you dreamed it would be.? And what happens when your wishes and dreams cannot be granted?
    what if your life and your psyche has a dream of owning something impossible? Or is nothing impossible.
    Surely, there must be give and take?
    This world is beautiful and can sustain us, the human drive for personal ownership and wanting more. Can be a wish that threatens this life, or will it be that there is no wishes and the afterlife is not for enjoying oneself but a step to future wishes? Can this be a different way of existence? As being pure energy or your soul as such moving on?

    Regardless, if there are angels, can they be...............?

    Wishing and thinking, will distract your work and mindset, and I suspect I'll have to finish the garden tomorrow.

    So if there is a plan and a place in my idea of heaven, I wish that I can be happy there!
    May your God bless you and keep your dreams alive.
    Live in the now, the future is not far from happening.

    Thanks for reading, if you get there before me, put in a good word for me!
  4. Before the vote on brexit, and the democratic vote on it, I think it was a post on this topic in the General forum, where because of my travels and how lean manufacturing process works. It was always on the cards that there would be huge problems with the assumption that the country needs to get out of European market.
    Not only for food, oil, human rights, workers rights, tax, housing, wages, transport, medicine, health and safety the NHS.
    Since 2010 and maybe before, there has been a battle behind the closed minds of certain anti marketeers, and the EU. The Tories didn't want the referendum. But within the ranks, there was a policy battle and this put the prime minister at the time, a huge headache. The policy of this government, austerity, deprivation, food banks and succeeding with the universal credit, to get the debt down, when in fact, before the next election, but announced after, was the debt had grown. One of the top men in finance, said that because of austerity and the overall fall of wages to the cost of living, it was no surprise to him, that what was needed was a complete overhaul of priorities that government does its business.
    The need for levelling up, was the priority, the need after so many years, to start investing in the infrastructure of the country, to improve our transport needs for the 2030s, and the biggest problem was to change from fossil fuel to sustainable power that won't wreck the planet. One of the reasons why this country is in desperate need for HGV drivers, is how the drivers themselves have not a option but to eat and sleep in the cab, also the age of HGV drivers. No HGV tests for a year. It just seems to me, that the logical choice, as during the world wars of last century, that because of the lack of drivers, they employed women to drive, fly, work in usually male roles. There is of course, retired drivers, who could fill in.
    Once again, the opportunity has been missed and the skills needed for this country are being ignored.
    During this time certain Tory MPs, jumped on the brexit bandwagon, those MPs were mostly in favour of the EU. But the opportunity to get their faces on the box and have popular political views on the likes of immigration. One certain MP, who had voted many times in parliament to remain in the euro, decided to go against his party and start campaigning, with an MEP at his side extolling the benefits of being out.
    Regardless of out of in, both sides told lie after lie, to protect their political life and the changing face of how the EU, was becoming a more liberal and progressive society.
    The fact that 27 countries in Europe has had the benefits of joining the EU, most of the last ten to twenty years of new projects and building in this area was paid for by the EU. This new libertine approach where the free market and private sector, will solve the problem is the reason why the country is never prepared for something that goes awry. The attitude and the response from doing something is totally reactive (I know!)
    And being proactive to these politicians, is foreign to them and not on the agenda despite the warnings from the government's advisors and the country's experts, the experience of the advice, gets ignored, then forgotten.

    Besides, we have the jab and near herd immunity. Hang on, 30,000 new infections a day?
    The hospitals are again under pressure, staff shortages, lack of government support, and even though the politicians praise the NHS, as being heroes. Just a thank you (like one of the Grace Brothers in, Are you being served!) A pay cut after all the recent developments. And government decisions have exacerbated the situation where working conditions are really bad. You just wouldn't believe this! You would really think that there is a conspiracy to sell off the health service to private health insurance companies?
    Why would these politicians say one thing and do another?
    What is the benefit of changing health care and how it's paid for?
    And why is there shortages?
    Apparently there are plenty of vacancies in the service industries, but no workers?
    There is a need for doctors and nurses despite the politicians telling us how they are going to reform social care.
    This doesn't mean anything more about pay and conditions in the care homes. There is apparently nothing yet except how much we are going to pay for it. Without a proper reform, and a plan, nothing will change!

    Since the last election, these politicians who are typically acting in self interest and beholden by the power behind the party, have had to change direction and being habitually dependent on the popular vote, has been brazenly gone with the flow on decent criticism of the lack of sympathy to those who are effected by government decisions, despite them being totally illogical and against the decent thing to do.
    These politicians are relentless on the attack of basic human rights. They do not have the decency of being in politics to make the country's population lives better, but are on a powerhouse of ruining people's lives. Control of the economy and the money market seems to be the highest priority..
    Getting away from European market rules, has opened up the flood gates for those that can, to take advantage of the situation. You would like to think that the benefits of this would and should be good news for the whole country. But it's not! Only a select few of the elite and shareholders.
    You couldn't write this.
    These politicians are incompetent, they don't live in the real world, there is an agenda, they don't care about me and you. The libertarians are only using your money to finance their lifestyle.
    Too many mistakes, blunders, cabinet catastrophes, breaking their own rules, and profiting from it.
    These politicians are on a course to wreck our living standards, to get back to the good old empire days, believing that the lower classes are just cannon fodder, to be used and thrown on the scrap heap of life in poverty, so that trade and the needs of the elite, which couldn't be produced here, was available due to our empire.
    This empire was built on the blood of those countries population. The slave trade is one of this country's diabolical decision and a source of deprivation and slaughter. On a scale that has been copied by the Nazis, pol pot in Cambodia, and the pogroms all through the last 200 years.
    This policy of our government is flawed, the drive to secure profits, on the backs of outsourcing, has been more apparent during the pandemic, we were shocked to hear that our country is dependent on foreign factories to produce more than we actually do as a country, one percent of hospital equipment was made here. Food, medicines, vital skills for progress, are not taught anymore, creative skills are in short supply, all this and more, is designed to push profits and lower the cost of producing.so since the early eighties the worth of British skills in the workplace has spiralled down to very low levels so much that our children will earn or be paid less than the parents and still housing costs and food and energy prices are outstripping the development of our economy. If this carries on, the numbers of people homeless and in poverty will keep growing.
    This bunch of pathetic political, corrupt, cabinet, has no idea what brexit and the pandemic has done to so many people. The idiots in power, do not care, do not understand what a family needs in this period here and now. The idea that working, having to go on benefits and still cannot afford food is the price of capitalism.
    If you gave £20 to a rich man and £20 to a single mother, working and trying to provide for her family. Which is the best for the economy today?
    This country which produced the industrial revolution is now dependent on the banking and stock markets, even though banks are closing very quickly.
    The answer to the question above, is the single mother. Why?
    The rich man will put it with the rest of his £20s. The single mother will obviously spend it. This means the knock on effect from the shop, wholesale, manufacturer, all the workers, the owners and more, which includes tax, and local council fees. If every single mother had an extra £20 to spend, you can see how this would effect every person on that list. Not spending money has an opposite effect on so much.
    One of the biggest boosts to the economy, which the Tories claimed would bankrupt the country, but didn't, was when the Blair government introduced minimum wage. Nobody went bankrupt, it created jobs, increased tax and national insurance contributions, the GDP grew.
    Because of the need to make more profits. The profits and improving lives is always going to be at each other's throats.
    But the really stupid thing is it can be decent for both parties.
    Investment in people and training, skills, modern technologies and the security of work, planning for the future, what happens today, is not as important as tomorrow,
    This clash of direction has destroyed industrial towns (ask someone in derby) ruined British firms and sold up to foreign companies were who asset strip and move the industrial base to somewhere, where what I call, paid slavery abound. Children are still working instead of education. I admit living through the second half of the last century and no we twenty years of this. I am staggered by this country. I keep saying it, you couldn't make it up, the stories of incompetence and cruelty to fellow country's population, creating divisions, creating a them and us, money is the root of all evil. Never more highlighted during this pandemic and eleven years of systematic degradation of those who are worse off. The humiliation of a country that denies accessibility to its weakest and disabled, to persistently attack working rights and change the concept of guarantees of employment, zero hours, minimum wage, which is now so pathetic that it should be scrapped. And replaced by a guaranteed ring fenced law of a living wage. How can you 'live' when working for little, if you can get work, spending more time away from the family, if you can actually get the amount needed for child care. And begging from the food banks to feed them. It is so embarrassing, it scars you, mental health is an obvious outcome,

    Without the poor there would be no rich!

    Our country, our lives and the way we treat others is a mandate of Christianity in the Anglican church, but the country is now so diverse, that our culture, our decency, our charity, and all the good things that happened during lockdown is now forgotten and ignored by the government. The social values of being in this altogether is a message that was often used, but the profiteers, the criminals, capitalists, the cowboys and the rip off merchants are again making sure that all what has happened in the last decade, is back and after your hard earnings. Because money is the most important factor in all of this. There is only so much money what people are going to buy, and all the above will do anything to get as much as possible, even legally, your money.

    This country is all but broken. From the promises of every election, even before I actually voted, the country has been dismantled, brick by brick and the modernised country that our precedents, fought for and a country fit for heroes.
    There is no houses for people, most of the population cannot get a mortgage. There is no jobs for the young, the kick start programme is just cheap labour, apprenticeship is few and far between. There because of the reasons I gave before, is not the levels of shop floor production work to train the youth. There is education, but the numbers of tech savvy computer specialists are not getting to uni, because of the charge to students in loans are too much that a family could not afford.
    You could assume that I'm a typical working labour voter, and you would be right, but I'm not extreme. It would take a progressive government many parliaments to belong to a state that has a non capitalist outlook or dogma!
    The elitist system and retrograde policies are directed to the benefits for the privileged.

    I sometimes believe that my life has been a life of trials, testing my logic and my intelligence, also my integrity, as being part of the community doing its utmost to be for the benefit of everybody, as the NHS was formed early in my life, this was the greatest step forward in logical social care for the health of the nation. It has been systematically destroyed, intentionally! My life and my health issues, the reason why I am still alive is down to my medical team.
    To be someone who has a very rare condition, this threat to afford treatment is always cause for concern for me and my family, the thought that the treatment and the tests I need, could be based on my income rather than need. Every low paid worker, disabled, elderly, their children and grandchildren, would need to be medically insured. Which in all probability would be financially worse off.

    This is another rant about this country and how the class war is being directed by these clowns, who obviously don't care about us as long as they get elected and get their face on television. It's worse than the so called celebrities on channel four or five that get to say something on a review show even though they weren't alive then. These celebrity wannabes, have more money than sense. This ridiculous rabble is lying through its teeth to try and convince the electorate that everything is okay, while clearly, the whole country has gone to the scrap heap. I have stated before, we need a logical party, who understand what it is like to bring a family through modern day British life. Knowing that the rule of law are against you and the family. Knowing that whatever you earn isn't enough, that you are denied modern technology and the internet because of how expensive it is.
    That your children are going to the same school as you did, and the building is sub standard, as is the facilities and teachers mainly inexperienced are not the best, the teachers are faced with big classes and a change in curriculum every year, to suit some well meaning councillor. The likelihood of having serious health issues, more likely to die younger, because of the lack of suitable social housing. Having to go into debt to pay for the sub standard housing, which is probably with a loan shark, if you are ever able to pay off, you can't ask a neighbour to help because they are probably worse off than you. The local charity shops are the only new (ha!) clothing you can afford. The local food bank is always busy and helps bring the locals together. We can't afford to go to the pub, that is closed now and standing empty, the local which was the centre of everything around here.
    I will tell you, that the majority of people around here, have to resort to other methods of getting what they need, drug use is the norm. Obesity is the norm. Everyone knows everyone else and their business. That staying out of trouble is nigh impossible.
    The social services are always around, as are the police cars, nothing and nowhere for the kids to play or even hang out with their friends. Even going for exercising is challenging. A walk around the block and someone with you, never alone! The local MP does what she can but it is beyond her influence.
    One of the strangest but normal things around here are the children have the same mother but different fathers from different cultures.
    This is multi ethnic British life. And definitely not the British empire of old.
    A modern society, logically reformed and led with a clear mandate to improve the lives of our families.
    Britain needs, a new democratic party, logically elected and a parliamentary process that all the members of both houses are elected by the electorate, and not by birth right or grace and favour..

    We have to eat and survive the massive disadvantages that living in this country has developed.
    We are imploding and self harm is the result of infighting. We do not have a country that can be relied on to help and support us through all this. The country is arse about face politically divided, diverse, divisive and diving down into divine intervention, please!!

    You are born and given a number.
    You go to school and given a number education.
    You go to work and another number.
    You find a partner and a number of responsibilities.
    Your family grows and a number of obligations.
    You retire and your number of friends goes.
    You die and are given another number, a plot.
    That is it, your numbers up!
  5. Well, here we are, September and the numbers on the slides are looking good, the prospect of a vaccine and lots of holidaymakers and sightseeing foreigners are still short on the ground, the pubs are struggling and the restaurant business can't open, we have to wear a mask, on transport, in shops and supermarkets. And normality is returning. The schools are open, the students are going back to uni and more workers are going back to the office (sorry, BBC have gone very OTT, to omit news that would criticise certain people) just remember all the letters into the head office of the BBC, demanding that a bias towards the left of middle when talking about politics. I can't remember the last time this wasn't all over the news about the news. Some senior backbenchers only wanted to open the country back again. Still no stop of people coming into the country, even through the first wave.
    Because of the fear of furlough ending and some of the restrictions are still in place, thousands of workers didn't know when they were going to get paid, more thousands were let go, sacked, finished, fired and rehired, then put back on furlough. Many were jobless with no income. So the majority of those effected had the humiliation of begging for state aid, the food banks, the reliance of family, and debt in the future. There was millions who wouldn't know the future, how the future looked, how many would not have a job to go back to. And then there was the self-employed, it is estimated that there was 3million who couldn't get anything for being in lockdown.
    No one was safe, especially from capitalistic bad owners, who don't really care about anything except profit.
    There was still the mixed messaging, the cabinets reluctance to agree and of course, questions of how we count those effected and found to have the virus.
    Still, the track and trace being useless, people who were not sure what to do when found positive, then those who couldn't isolate because of the threat of losing their jobs. And more than anything, getting any financial help when isolating. The shielding, the at risk list, and of course the care homes, nothing had changed. But other than the odd few in hospital. The country was preparing for the future. The country was borrowing more money, after years of austerity and the destruction of the public sector, the austerity measures were designed to pay off the debt. It's alarming that after so long in austerity, we hadn't paid enough to lower the debt, in fact it increased. There was not enough investment in the infrastructure and growth of the economy was still recovering from the mortgage crisis in the banking world. it's frightening how badly we were prepared for anything. This year and everything that followed was ten years in the making and going to cost the middle and lower classes for years.

    With parents buying new school uniforms and books for students and the fees paid for those who are fortunate to go to private schools, these youth going back to digs or for the first time away. Life was getting back to some sort of arrangements to cope with covid, work place for covid, school bubbles, and so on, social distancing being the in word.
    October was for all sense and purposes, the new word was variant. What was going on was that the original virus was running out of steam and a new version, was discovered in the UK, they named it the Kent variant.
    This spread to most of the world especially North America, until later on in the year came the south African variant, then the Brazilian variant, were the government there, was convinced the president told everyone that it was a form of flu and didn't act upon the evidence of not going into lockdown. How the south African variant or the Brazilian, got to this country, because of open borders, not many checks, no isolation, no organisation and particularly for a highly infectious virus, no system in place to quarantine infectious visitors.
    So with that all happening, the country slowly walked into a covid nightmare, that nobody saw coming not even the experts.
    The statistics were there, a slow climb of infections and the new variant was spreading, the testing was escalating, knowing who was infected became a novel way of trying to stem the tide of patients who needed hospital treatment. Because this was why it became a reason, for the numbers of new cases. The new variants didn't stop the political bouncing ball of populism.
    There was no plans, except for knee-jerk reaction to what was happening. The new thinking was areas of high infections the higher the testing, trace and isolation. This response was simply papering over the need to do anything. the virus didn't care., all through this month, the economy and keeping the hospital with enough infrastructure to cope with the next wave.
    I was watching breakfast tv during this period and because of the restrictions on travel for the last six months and the holiday industry, airports and airline companies were really struggling, laying pilots and cabin crew off. A minister from the Greek government was being interviewed, he was saying that the Greek economy was based on tourism as was a lot of Europe's countries, and following that, he stated that the UK was reliant on the city for its wealth and influence. Apparently our economy is based on investment banking, and the business of stocks and shares, money, money, money. This did open my eyes and it became clear to me that if despite supposedly being democratic, we are totally reliant on the very rich, who has a decent lifestyle, and those unfortunate to be begging for decency, reliance on food banks and dodgy landlords, no chance of getting a mortgage, renting has in the last ten years has rocketed. The government pension just about covers your rent and local taxes are twisting the life out of social care. This new government was elected to 'level out' but every day hundreds of those who are struggling because of everything going on are joining the poverty line. The minimum wage is about £50 too low, brexit has exacerbated the situation. The number of EU citizens that because of the overall situation they found themselves, went home. How many times did the experts, biologists, virologists, senior professors from universities, and I will say that one particular lady from Scotland, predicted everything correctly. And in particular, into October due to the obvious surge in cases advised that we should lockdown two weeks before the country actually did. The lack of action because the prime minister was not convinced about another lockdown, did not, at all protect the economy, lives, livelihoods or the NHS. The approach of the flu season and still a couple of months from a vaccine. The majority of the world responded very quickly, we dithered. And delayed, and when it was totally inevitable that at the end of October, a sudden u turn, on a Friday, the country was locking down again.. it was too late and led to a longer-term lockdown that anyone could envisage.
    Everyone was asking for a circuit breaker of about a month tops, with everyone focused on the Christmas season, because the messages were coming thick and fast, it will be ok for Christmas and it will be great.
    As we moved through those months before Christmas, the virus took hold, infections soared, hospitals were getting fuller despite better equipment, understanding, pharmaceutical, testing, masks, PPE. When I say testing the track and chase hit the headlines as it emerged that it didn't work, bad enough the government had thrown millions of pounds into the private company, which had the health minister crooning about the best in the world etc. But to scrap it all again, and start over. And they called it the NHS test and trace system. It had nowt to do with the NHS or the local health officials.
    The day that lockdown commenced in October saw the highest rates in the north west particularly around greater Manchester, but became widespread across Lancashire, Cheshire, Merseyside into Yorkshire, then up to the north east and not long after Scotland was seeing infections growing in the big cities.
    Greater London was seeing mounting infections especially in the deprived areas and were Asian and other minority ethnic groups were living, the new variants targeted those who were elderly, or had other existing conditions such as heart, lungs, diabetes when pneumonia occurs.
    The death rates continually grew. All the volunteers who helped in the first wave were called upon again as the country was testing, testing and anxious about the winter ahead. The army was called in to help, all extra facilities were put on standby, however we did not have the trained doctors, nurses, ancillary staff and even the infrastructure to staff.
    Going into December, we were presented with news of a relaxation at Christmas for five days in which we could travel to see our relatives, go Christmas shopping, and have family around for Christmas dinner and all watch the Queen together. This was met with at first joy, then really? Of course being a Christian, the virus will stop infecting those who want to celebrate!!! Of course this was based on scientific evidence that the virus had plateaued, a and was expected to decline further, so we could enjoy Christmas!
    The breaking news despite the opening up messages from ministers was that earlier in the year, two women from the UK had found a formula for protection against the virus. This Oxford vaccine was heralded the game changer, the way out of lockdowns and saving lives. The government gave the task of organizing the roll out to, and it surprised most people, to the NHS! I'm not kidding! Really!
    But didn't a Turkish couple working for Pfizer, created the first jab?
    The previous ten years of austerity and declining investment, to give the impression that the best health service, was failing because it was public domain, the government has always wanted to bring privatization back into health. And how it is paid for. And the American health insurance companies were very, very, very interested and held talks with the government, during brexit as part of a trade deal and early in the pandemic. As the whole country was clapping for the NHS. With ministers on door steps joining in, the hypocrisy, of what was going on behind closed doors, is an absolute disgrace but hardly unexpected. The president was seen off by the democrats, and the trade talks have not been heard since. By the middle of the month the drop of infections had gone up not down and the death rate started going through the roof. The call to cancel Christmas was getting louder, the vaccine rollout had just started with NHS staff and care homes, the most vulnerable, and then on to those shielding. As the virus so far had targeted the elderly and vulnerable, and I must bring up those NHS staff who died on the front line, that because of how the country wasn't prepared for this or started learning the lessons from other countries and certainly some professors who had predicted everything that has happened. But they haven't, the news about Christmas and vaccines, was going ahead despite the numbers. And the government announced it was cutting the holiday to Christmas and boxing day. And changed the advice on the number of people who could meet with the windows open! We rarely get a hot day, we get plenty of cloud and damp. To describe our weather, it's cold, wet and windy! I know that a really thick layer of a lot of clothing would be required.
    Time never stops, nor does this virus, the holidays came and a new year was hurtling towards us. The impact of trying to enjoy Christmas was an unforgivable mistake. The number of deaths were shocking and once again it did occur to me if everything that we were advised to do. Was that it was designed to confuse the general public and everyone getting a vaccine. So that the top Tories could claim all sorts about how Churchillian the government is. And being a free market in a free society, where only if you had money, could you get the help you need. Just one more thought.
    If we get a new variant that delivers a load big enough to make the vaccine useless, how long could we do without a vaccine. If the country isn't aware of how this virus can mutate. And doesn't get the whole world vaccines, this could turn from a catastrophe into Armageddon.
    Since brexit the power grab, the lack of rights, no constitutional rights, the laws of the land manipulation to benefit the rich. And the country must not go back to normal. Why?
    Everyone was surprised when they started hearing that this virus would be with us for quite some time.
    Next blog.
    1. In late March as the virus took hold and the numbers of infections, hospital numbers, and deaths increased. There was no stopping it. Most of the working population was ordered to stay indoors and to stop meeting each other as bubbles came into fashion. West Ham?No travelling around the country even to see family or visit your nan in a care home. We were told that the care homes had an arm around and the staff were getting provisions to cope with elderly. Why was this said, the reason why was probably to stop any panic or hostile action or demonstrations, , why were we told such blatant lies? The care homes were the breeding ground for the majority of deaths at this time because of the decision to move patients back into the care homes. The government did little or nothing about PPE in the care homes because hospitals were desperate for it and the amount of PPE brought in from abroad was not fit for use. Why were workers usually on poverty wages told to work? Where was the PPE? We were told that it was a logistical problem. We didn't have any. Front line workers were being exposed to a deadly virus, many got it, had it and died from it. The government just wouldn't give out details, and the mixed messaging, I do believe that this was a deliberate attempt at not quite what we should be doing and the opinions of those at SAGE and the government.This first wave lasted over two months, and I suspect that there was need for opening up a little. But wait, the city never stopped, government and the civil service were at home working, the usual methods of having interviews and appointments, the buses kept running because workers needed to get to factories, shops and so on. Social distanc ing became the norm, but no masks as yet, unless you had to go the hospital or the surgery. Restrictions were enforced by police, fines were given out for breaking the law (eh?) Spot fines! But the lawbreakers kept on meeting at organised parties and even though the majority of people were staying indoors when not going out to the shop for essentials.Around this time the media were asking questions of ministers, but the answers didn't faze the quizzes. And around this time was the SAGE advisor, who resigned because of his affair with a woman from a different household. As persistent violations from people carried on. The woman politician in Scotland forced to quit eventually. The number of people who objected to the the lockdown grew. Mainly because of the government advisor, went on a journey up north, then another trip the following day, he was one of the architects of the government tactics to advise business and the general public how to lessen the pressure on the NHS. The prime minister said he had done nothing illegal, the ministers were behind him. And the explanation was so unbelievably transparent, that the media made this a front page item, tv news programs, were beginning to be obsessed with this person who was at the heart of government (and brexit) Why didn't the prime minister sack him for a clear violation of the law? Why was decisions and tactics decided by him? How can he make life changing decisions as part of the inner workings of the cabinet and not be elected? This has been happening for a long time and it is definitely not democratic. One of the reasons that the civil service is to preserve the establishment, also, the average I.Q. of an MP is not that great. If you have watched 'Yes Minister' you know what I mean. I am not going to mention the undemocratic practices to elect The Lord's.By now in lockdown, because of the panic that the hospitals could be overflowing with covid patients, the government decided to build or create hospitals in towns and cities called nightingale hospitals. Still no masks. We all received letters from the council then the government about shielding those that have vulnerable conditions, the elderly and those disabled. The communities came to the rescue by delivering much needed groceries and the food banks struggled to keep up with demand.The number of children in absolute poverty and not getting any food grew out of control, so much that feeding children became one of the hottest topics and derision of the government's handling of the pandemic. It took a young footballer to create a petition to change the decision by making the government u turn after a vote that school children would not be getting any meals in the holidays. So because of this the government decided to fund the council's planning to deal with children's meals. Many councils farmed it out to private companies and of course the kids were given a package of which was less nutritious food than cardboard. These private companies were following government guidelines. It was really cheap and nasty.The government decided shortly after that the token or voucher system was preferred by many parents. Again the footballer became a public hero. He has up to date brought the government to u turn three times. The total lack of empathy towards schools and children.Talking about schools, universities, colleges and other training facilities, all closed because it was decided that any such gatherings were many of the infections were happening.They never closed, the numbers were lower but most schools provided education to those whose parents were on the front line. The number of university students who had paid for the university courses and digs couldn't get their money back, after being stuck and grounded in their dorms without food and often in distress. The students courses were now totally remote. Zoom became a new word for watching remotely.This became the norm for all educational services. If you had the technology, WiFi, the internet and could afford this. A lot of children didn't have any tech to do this. Finally masks started appearing for the general public, the same style as hospital masks were. Not much use. Cloth became a fashion item, matching colours, matching patterns.Not only were the UK under lockdown but most of Europe as well, flights were cancelled because of covid restrictions on travel and especially holidays abroad, you couldn't even visit your family or go to funerals and wherever you were social distancing.The country came to a standstill! However that is the impression that was put out. It eventually leaked that certain people could travel anywhere. There was still a small minority of people travelling and the borders have never been closed. Among these were people trying to get home from all over the world. Others were business leaders and representatives from government doing trade deals. Others were still travelling through privately owned aircraft. How many times did we see faces on our screens that were seen at home, then because they could, be somehow in another country. In fact, business meetings were exempt from the law. Why? For some reason the prime minister would not be seen on television giving interviews, then GMB was boycotted by the government, because of the questions asked by the presenters. There was a feeling that the government were well out of their depth in trying to keep the numbers down. But this was just window dressing because there was an article on herd immunity being the real tactic and of course keeping the hospitals going by any means. I think I've mentioned food and drugs before, because of the size of the population, we have to import food from abroad, most of these, by truck using the channel and North Sea ferries. We cannot grow the necessary food, so the food chain has to be intact for the supermarkets, insulin is one of those necessary treatments that is not manufactured here. So a lockdown and stay at home wasn't going what it appeared. It was all too late. Reaction rather than pro action was gonna cost us an awful lot in lives, jobs and children's education. And this was the first wave.We opened up far too early, the Kent variant changed things and every variation has brought challenges to the scientific community, but with every variant the mixed messages, the tactics were the same, everything was designed to confuse, misdirected, keeping the food chain and the links between countries going, and of course power, the network of basic services, water, electricity, waste, steel, mining, oil, and of course the city of London financial services, banks, government and the civil service, NHS providers, food factories, fire service, ambulance, emergency workers, postal service, bin men, petrol station, the shops that could open, supermarkets. Buses, trains, the tube, trams, even coaches, dock workers, import and export services, airport and ferry service, the shipping, the pilots who flew cargo in. Truck drivers, port officials, television companies, live and news programs. Editors, reporters, cameramen, photographers, printers, newspapers, the media, every worker on the front line and all the rest that have continued to work because they cannot afford to miss work. This was not a lockdown because far too many people still had to keep the economy going. And because of this we have not had a total ban on people travelling to this country. I do believe that there was still more working than on furlough. Which is another unbelievable waste of money which of course was abused by industry and owners to abuse their workers, changing contracts, hire and fire, then hire again on zero.hours at the owners discretion. And of course those workers who had no contracts, were just dumped. This new variant, the south African, or the Brazilian along with the Kent variant was found all over the country, and particularly in regions where there was a large community of Asian, far east and Caribbean were found to be more susceptible to the virus, the numbers of fatalities to this group was unforeseen, not only was the elderly and vulnerable to be protected, shielded and prioritised for delivery of food parcels. But ridiculous situation of this group of workers on the front line, and have not got the protection they required. A lot of doctors closed surgeries, turned to phone diagnosis and the list of people on waiting lists were growing. So as the pandemic eased down and the slow change to newer variants suddenly appeared in certain areas, the Midlands particularly in Leicester, greater Manchester and some boroughs of London, little outbreaks of the various covid virus was causing some murmuring among the media and scientific community. The main message was that we have to get back to normality, the kids in school with quite a lot of restrictions which the council's and if private had to pay out for. People getting back to the office. (Isn't it surprising that workers are the same as office workers, in the BBC, itv, sky, and the perception of the majority of people who don't work on the workshop floor. Most workers don't work in offices! Indeed it is the millions of lower class especially that have suffered from lost jobs, furlough payments, 80% of minimum wage is below the breadline. Most rents are above the figure after everything is taken out. Food banks are getting queues and the necessity of having food banks and these people work, probably both of the partners are working and still they cannot afford to live and feed the children. A right to nutritional food as a basic right, has been rejected by some councils and government ministers. Since brexit, the rights of workers have been taken away, I know this from personal experience. I had my contract changed, so could not be able to take to court or tribunal. We as a people do not have any protection against owners who will abuse the situation. Trying to work, educate and look after their families, and there is quite a lot on medication because of this covid. Simply because we didn't prepare, and those who followed the herd immunity advice, and the most influential reason was not to have dead bodies stacked high or rooms of dead and dying, because the NHS could not cope, or get the equipment, staff, and lack of knowledge about treatment. How to stop the transmission in hospitals, the reason we needed hand sanitation and the reason masks became mandatory. The power grab or special powers, was just part of the sham, that the majority of people followed, but with some, it was still open to abuse by certain people, who thought they were above the law and continued to act and do as they pleased, lots of politicians and business leaders, a few who wanted to have their holidays and during this summer recess the obvious important lessons weren't learned.So the borders were opened those who wanted holidays flew out and we welcomed all and sundry from the rest of the world, including what became the worst hit areas, the state's, Brazil, Europe and Africa.We had the usual border crossings without testing. The whole country were made aware that the privately owned track and trace app, didn't do its function because it really could not organised response to the information given. So if someone was identified as having covid, they couldn't follow the people who needed to be aware of the fact that they could have covid and should be isolated to not spread the virus.I still can't get my head around why it was called the NHS track and trace, when it definitely had nothing to do with the NHS. It was lauded in parliament as the best in the world, but embarrassingly this was probably the best way of controlling how we dealt with spikes of infections. And it totally flopped. The mere fact that the amount of money given out to private or other donors of the party were able to garner massive amounts of money for these emergency contracts. It is synonymous with parliamentary practice that the top politicians look after those who have personally been generous. Why wasn't the contract given to the people who knew how important this was to succeed? The local health authorities, and come together with the NHS, who were more qualified to do this. September and everyone came back from holidays and went to work, school, uni, and those shielding were told you can exercise outside. We had beaten the virus and even though the restrictions were still in place, opening the schools and universities was the government reaction to calls about a lot of children missing lessons and money had been payed out for students. Masks were worn now everywhere. But before we start the second wave, one of the most important things the scientists were telling us was we must be aware of another wave, we must learn the lessons.There was a rumour that a couple of firms were close to finding a vaccine that would be coming. And there was trials going onto see it was safe and effective against variants.The Russians had already started trials and they were starting vaccinations within a month. China was quiet, however they claimed there vaccine will be the first. This was a global attempt to find a way of prevention. The state's had done nothing much about their first wave. The president was dismissive of this 'flu'. However the numbers grew, and the hospitals were full and under resourced. Bodies did pile up, they had freezer lorries parked next to hospitals. Still the senior political voices. were still sceptical. It was presidential election year. Sport would be back soon but no supporters, but you could climb on a plane and go abroad, ' If you isolated when you return.'The royal family was in a family feud. If you could find the truth, you have better understanding than me. And they continued to holiday, and travel. But so was the ministers, who had the option to go anywhere they wanted and surprising every one of them were boasting about it.The other part of the situation we found ourselves, was that life saving operations were cancelled, appointments were no longer available, operating theatres were transformed into wards for covid patients, the machines and technology were now being installed. The NHS were learning how to treat the infected and help them recover, there was still covid patients in hospital when the lifting of restrictions came about. But the number of deaths were totally insane. Nearly fifty thousand. This tragedy was compounded by the lack of preparedness, treating the elderly back into care homes because beds were needed and if they had covid, well, unlucky because they were not tested. Testing became normal, unbelievably, the testing was done by private companies and this didn't work at all, so the government changed tack by investing in testing, so just as September was coming and most of the country would be able to go back to normal. I hate this phrase and I'll sum it up next blog.The unfortunate reality was covid was hiding and traveling the globe, the summer was ending and just when we thought things couldn't get worse, they did. The government allowed too much too early, the virus would would transform into the Indian variant. More infectious. But before that so many will suffer the tactics of handling the pandemic.
  6. You might not agree with everything that I write, but keep reading because of the distinction between propaganda and truth from my view on the events from October 2019.
    I do not apologise for my questions, I do not believe that I'm breaking forum rules.
    And more important if something offends your outlook on life in this country.
    October 2019
    My colleague was informed that he would be making the trip to China as part of the group going for a month in early November. We had heard that something was happening in China but no details yet.
    October 2019
    My colleague was informed that the arrangements to travel has been suspended and would go in early December. The rumours from our people flying back in from China that an outbreak of a virus is now spreading.
    December 2019.
    The cancellation of the trip to China was confirmed and would not be another one till the authorities in China allowed us to. The reason was a virus that was sweeping Wuhan province. There was rumours abound how serious it had become, and again we had staff being flown home, saying that there was mask wearing and the government had imposed curfew and a news blackout.

    We have a permanent ambassador in Beijing, did anyone from the foreign office or the security services not know about this corona virus? Did they advise someone in the cabinet? Did anyone in senior government be proactive at this time and bring in an epidemiology expert and advise on the government should be prepared?
    Clearly, from January until lockdown every message from the government was the country is open for business and even though certain flights had by now had stopped, the majority of passenger flights still operated.
    By early January 2020, there was news from countries that surround China that there was cases of the virus being found in and were preparing to use restrictions on movement around. Of course there was curfews and the nightlife was completely stopped.
    Apparently the number of infections in Iran, was linked to flights in and out of Tehran, these flights were connections from all over China. And Europe, subsequently the virus started spreading west towards at first Italy then to the rest of mainland Europe.
    As far as I'm aware the first brit to die of covid related infections was in January.
    Again was the government unaware of this growing situation, we had pulled out of the European market. Badly.
    The election had sorted parliament. Why weren't we prepared for any outcome of this virus?
    The scientists by late January were screaming for action, but the government advised us that it was like the flu season and the prime minister knew that it would be over by the summer and the UK was open for business.
    Of course the government has to look after the economy and by ignoring the worst aspects of the virus was dismissed as scaremongering and leftist rhetoric. Why? Was it because certain members of the scientific community (SAGE) had decided and persuasive in advising government that herd immunity was the only way to protect the majority of the population. This meant that even if the reports were incorrect the government's priority was business and the financial services in the city. This was a political decision based not on fact and not of the reports that highlighted just how bad it could be. Surely by late February the need for decisiveness should have been thought through, the hospitals were getting ready for a flu like virus but still nothing major in preparation, except for those who had flown home in isolation, ferried to a hospital in the north (Arrowe Park) and given the nurses living block and securely kept away from the rest of us. If this was the normal treatment for someone who had picked up the virus?. Was the government using the media to deflect, the lack of preparedness? Why was the government so fixated on keeping Britain open.
    It was quite clear by late February and the reports especially from Italian reporters were being shown here that many things should have transpired by now, but going into March there was a anathema of reluctance to solve the rising number of cases, and hospital admissions, and of course the low number of deaths especially those who had breathing conditions and the elderly.
    Going into 2020, the NHS was probably at breaking point. The years of austerity and lack of funding, and of course the back door privatization of many services within the NHS. the majority of people who worked in the wards were not British. There was nurses and employees in hospitals and the health service that had come from all over the world and quite a few from Europe. And we were still had a shortage of staff. And brexit causing people to apply for workers visas. The lack of skills within our population is not only affecting the NHS, but the majority of companies who need these skilled workers. We have an army of school leavers every summer, how many are trained to be skilled? Again government cuts and austerity?
    The dogma of the Tories was crippling the hospitals, the best free health service in the world was being dismantled in favour of American health insurance companies. I can only ask why?

    In 2016 (?) The government and the scientific community set up a scenario for something akin to a bad viral infection, that enacts what it would be like if the virus hit hard. One of the scientists who was an organised. Told a tv breakfast show, that the results of this scenario had never been acted upon.
    This became even more relevant as we neared March. Italy's hospitals were overrun with elderly patients and most of Europe was preparing for the worst and still the government had yet decided to act upon the advice of many viralogists and other high ranking academic professionals that the government should act now.
    But the government blustered, and while this was happening, the government started getting the hospitals ready by sending all of the elderly patients back to the care homes.
    Meanwhile in the headlines we were being told to take precautions and wash our hands. Even though I have a vivid memory of Boris doing the rounds in a hospital shaking hands with everyone and extolling that he will keep shaking hands. There was the issue of sport and highlighting Anfield and Liverpool's European game versus a team in the Spanish league. The virus had taken hold and infection rates had soared but 5000 Spanish supporters had flown in. Then there was a race meeting attended by over 100,000 through the four days of the meeting. The government again delayed action, why? Could it be that the government was using propaganda to tell the country we was not in a situation which could be devastating to the population? the chief medical officer even came out and he predicted that no more than 20000, was an okay figure of mortality?
    I believe that this is bull's...., because the figures of death rates were higher than expected. The number of infections were still rising especially in the poorest areas and the ethnic minorities. But the news that the virus was attacking the most vulnerable and the elderly as well. The hospital numbers of elderly patients were growing for some reason and care homes were at the forefront.
    The hospitals were not prepared for this influx of elderly patients, the fact that we had no stores of PPE, and of course the lack of proper PPE for contagious viruses in hospital and care homes. The overriding figure of PPE made in the UK was only 1%. How come? It makes no sense or logic not to have stores of proper PPE, with the majority of it brought in by the truckload. The number of ICU wards that had the equipment and supplies for the number of patients going into hospital.
    All of a sudden in mid March, the government started realising that the NHS was in trouble and hospitals were filling up, the need for drastic measures was apparent, but still wouldn't announce a lockdown. There was so much to learn about the virus and its make up, and if possible a vaccine or a cure for it. The capital is overwhelmed by numbers of people needing treatment.
    The need for a test and trace service wasn't happening and the rumours were like in Italy were patients lives were being assessed in corridors and some were beyond treatment. Some elderly patients were just left to die!
    If this is true and it will come out. What does that say about our humanity in this country?
    Going into lockdown on the 23rd March, it was apparent to most that we had to go into lockdown.
    The hospitals couldn't cope and the death rate was surging. There was rumours abound about the supply and demand of certain items, that was given allegedly to Tory donors. The thing about the test and trace, was given to a private company, and billions of pounds was allowed to be paid, but it never really works.
    The back benches in parliament were not happy about lockdown, as the travel industry, the airlines and probably every company in the country was impacted by the lockdown and on top of brexit, the need to keep food coming into the country from abroad, because we need to, never mind medical and other essential services needed to continue. The supply chains couldn't break down. Why weren't we told this?
    Supermarkets were kept open, most of our high streets were closed. Pubs, restaurants, nightlife disappeared. And the roads were suddenly deserted. We had seen on the television that countries had already adopted face masks, Where it was stated in parliament that masks were unnecessary. Huh?
    All the way through March, the government were reluctant to publish figures of infection rates, hospital figures and of course the number of people dying from covid. Was hiding the information about what was happening in a good portion of the country, a tactic to stop the panic and the population going daft and shopping for everything that would cause a shortage? You have to ask yourself, if the government wanted to adopt herd immunity why were we in lockdown? Was it to protect the NHS? Or the fact that because of moving elderly patients with covid back into care homes, was causing the death rates to grow quickly? Or didn't the delay into lockdown expedite the infection rates? Or because the government didn't want on our screens the sight of patients on trolleys dying because of no beds or breathing equipment?
    Why was the test and trace given to the private sector?
    We already had the local councils health advisors, that dealt with health issues in their area and had experienced experts, on how to use this type of emergency situation. The television program about the Salisbury poisoning was on around that time and the woman who was in charge of organising everything to stop the spread of the novochock poison was outstanding. Again, why wasn't this local knowledgeable service used?
    Was it a panic decision? Was it a political decision? The decision regardless was a disaster and a total waste of money.
    Then was the government decision to make gatherings illegal, to stop the freedom of movement, to bring in emergency powers that were simply non democratic. The government voted itself power that should not have been given, and it has misused and misled the country on many subjects. And it was no surprise when the prime minister got covid. He missed cobra meetings (6) and was on holiday whilst everyone else was told to stay at home. Work from home and everything closed down. Or did it?
    We know hospital staff were working, the food distribution never stopped, farms were still producing, the harvest was just about done despite the call for pickers from those who had been furloughs and of course the now unemployed or the self employed. The call wasn't successful.
    Furlough was brought in to help companies who's employees were laid off. But there was some who couldn't claim anything. Why pick on these people, discrimination or what?
    When the system actually needed to stop low pay, the government had a mass of low paid getting their wages cut. The food banks were busy, the voluntary food parcels given out. The bad companies were claiming payments that never went to the furloughed. How was this allowed?

    This is the end of part one.

    Thanks for reading.
  7. It has been quite a while since my last vivid dreams blog.
    I have again been researching sleep patterns and of course REM.
    Dreams are supposed to be very essential for brain function and a healthy mind, so when I dream and can't remember them, that is what these experts (ha) say. So what if you remember the vivid lucid dreaming and are particularly bothered about the dreams.
    This dream was different in so many ways, hence the research. However what you read about is just opinions and really you can't get to the truth. I suppose I got the gist of it.
    Dream first.
    I was working by myself in a place I recognised as a test area for new models.
    This was part of my roles and responsibilities, making sure that the parts to be fitted have been tested and the tooling needed for the operation, the station layout and to be as standard practice in the time allowed.
    I worked with engineers and designers, as well as the suppliers of said parts. I was working as a lean manufacturing process team leader.
    This place was known as pilot build and it was very secret, I don't know why, maybe industrial espionage but there wasn't much that we hadn't seen before, was there?
    Well as it happens, and I will have to kill you if you repeat any of the following.
    I want a pinkie swear please!

    The dream focused on a vehicle that was hoisted on to a cradle, so if you were working on the chassis, you could comfortably work underneath. What this chassis was for, special engineers from design were working on the chassis to fit batteries to the area that could hold them, they were mostly ingot size, and fastened by clamps.
    With an electric car, quite a bit of space is gained from a petrol or diesel engines.
    I was at first just watching and I couldn't help myself, I had to touch the batteries and see how they charged up. How much wiring between batteries, could I find more room to fit more batteries. I decided to retro fit a battery, so I walked up and touched it and it was in my hands. I started to go back to my bench and someone shouted to stop me.
    I was sitting at my desk and I couldn't work it out, so I lay down and started having a dream about making the batteries bigger with curves to go around the pressed body. Plenty of curves and bends on a chassis. I started measuring and working on the theory that bigger is better.
    Of course that is not miniturisation, and I would have stopped this dream except that my desire for working things out would never be finished.
    I went to bed to sleep on it.
    Hang on!
    How can I go to bed when I'm involved in another dream? I'm already asleep and dreaming!
    I see myself in an office and I need to see how I'm doing but the person opposite was blabbering on about my interest and I got the message to stop working. So I asked him, how can you launch a new model when no one has figured out the weight ratio to be as light and energy efficient, but with the batteries we are now using, it is far too heavy., and the charge is insufficient for a long trip. I turned around and saw myself measuring and noting down, I can see myself, how?
    Just as I was watching, I saw another me approach the other, he was carrying a piece of wood which had been shaped as a battery to fit a certain area around the boot, this was alongside a bigger battery that satin the spare wheel compartment. . There had to be a way of making batteries small enough and have enough charge to have long trips. Especially on motorway network.. I walked out of the office, heading towards my two other selves and I couldn't get near the chassis it was moving with the other vehicles, and the sense of desperation, with anxiety that I hadn't finished, I tried to grab hold and ended up on the floor of my bedroom, face down with my bottom in the air.
    This dream was about a week ago, I had just dismissed the dream, when I came from the shop on Monday, and there on the television was my factory which I had retired from over fourteen years ago. They were announcing that the new model which would save the factory from closure, which was expected because of brexit, greener engines, and the factory was taken over by a company based in France. The vehicle announced was an electric van.
    This was not the design I dreamt of.
    Why did I have this dream before the announcement?
    Why do I remember the dream, it is so vivid and colourful? The chassis was sprayed in a light green undercoat.
    Why was I having a dream about another dream in another dream?

    I have never had a dream about dreaming before, have you?

    On another twist, I watched a video on YouTube about past lives. And one of the things that you look for are vivid lucid dreaming. Which can be repetitive.
    Surely, one life is enough to manage without having another from the past sticking its nose in.
  8. We, I have been unemployed for a year now.
    Wasn't my idea.
    I never thought that I would finish working at least for now.
    So, in that year, what I've gone through was not a good one, why?
    I have had medical issues which has seen me staying in hospital.
    I have had family health issues, including losing twins during pregnancy, but grandchild no. 8 is hopefully in a couple of months time. All my lot have been working through the pandemic as frontline workers.
    Myself, I have struggled with severe anxiety and depression. I have had counselling and that has helped me so much, I have learned so much from him about how I should continue to be positive.
    My GP has been brilliant, and caring, first because she took the brunt of my situation and how it had affected my me. Second because I needed help and even in these times I got the appointments. I am seeing my neurologist next week because of the new habits I've started to do, which I have never done before at all, one of the doctors in the hospital said I could have restless leg syndrome.
    I have had a full medical over the Easter weekend and two scans and numerous examinations from various doctors, it seems that there is a very healthy old man sitting here writing this.
    If only my brain function was better and I had something other than being bored and frustrated. I have not found anything that will stimulate my brain. My work, my life, was my dream job. The people in charge did not care enough and treated those who I worked with disdain and indifference.
    I have also lost interest in a lot of other things, such as reading and listening to music. There is only my wife and my family, that is now my occupation, I have become a full time carer, I have become a housewife, I have become a shopper, cook, washing, washing up, cleaner, and gardener! I have never been trained in any of these jobs. It doesn't make it any easier with covid and the disbelief of how this country is governed. Never mind the wife especially when she gets confused.
    I haven't replaced football in my life, it's there and it ain't going away, I will still support the team and have many acquaintances with fans and a few staff, I will hopefully take a huge step by going to a league game.
    Remember, baby steps!
    Even after twelve months, I am definitely getting better, I am now living in the present and looking forward to the future. I am now officially retired and got some spring cleaning to do.
    Thanks for reading.
  9. Today, which I cannot believe, is an anniversary, which still gives me nightmares.

    And I can remember so much about it.
    I found out about a month before that well paid jobs were available in the local factory.
    Little did I know that 35 years later, that I left the job with a half decent pension, this was 47 years ago today.

    I look back on that day, as one of the longest days of my life.
    I had to be at the reception room in the office block by 8a.m.
    Which I managed. The bloke who took that introduction into the working ethic of the company and more importantly at that time the union.
    I volunteered to go on a certain shift, so that I had a lift in from a neighbour.
    Those that did, like me, were sent home with instructions to report back to the office block at the shift start time at 10p.m.
    I got home and tried to get a few hours sleep, but I was too excited.
    My mother gave me enough food in my box, to sink Bismarck.
    And in the dark, late in the evening, quiet and tired, I arrived.
    We reported in and were given instruction on safety and what to wear and procedures to work in this factory.
    We went then, across the nearest block where there was certain production and stores.
    We crossed the road that ran through the factory for lorries, then through another block until we again crossed the road and went through a machine shop that housed huge machines that pressed steel into parts, the noise was deafening, we walked for another 300 yards until we came to the section where I was going to be working.
    I was introduced to the foreman and the leading hand and the shop steward!!!
    I was not the only newbie on this section, so we were shown around were there was about forty men, (no women, they couldn't do this job, could they?) The section had to work together and ensure quality so that the production didn't stop. This was way before they brought in Kaizan, which is Japanese style teamwork.
    I was given a job with another man, and shown on the job how to do this work the best way and easiest to keep the quality and quantity. However, at any time then the union could call the workforce out for little or no reason.
    Anywho, the night dragged on and I could safely say that it was a long night and made up with how I handled the work. Then I was given a clock card to clock off, forty men queuing up to clock off!
    I fell asleep in the car.
    Got in and changed and slept for ten hours.
    That was my first day of so many.
    I travelled Europe thanks to the job, I rolled out new products being on the pilot in different cities around Europe. I have seen one of the biggest factories in Europe with a city built around it.
    I have taught team leadership and lean manufacturing process. I have supervised a production line being in charge of thirty two men. I have had some really good times. The work was hard but rewarding most of the time.
    I had the opportunity to retire early, so I did, because even though I had gained respect, promotion and was in line to go to Poland, I took the money, the work was a young man's game.
    But at the time, this was when I had already had a few health issues, that was taking its toll on my body.
    If I only knew then, what I know now!

    Happy anniversary, the nightmare is of my really struggling to keep up with the work rate and failing. Because I'm useless! (Ha!)

    Have a wonderful Christmas.
    Keep safe
  10. I have had to witness the local A&E three times in the past week.
    The first was one of my family having rhinovirus, the second was a footballer who had a torn ligament, the third was myself, receiving far too many volts from an electrical power point!
    What a hat-trick!
    The care was fantastic, the nurse, junior doctors, the staff, brilliant!
    But the waiting times were dreadful!
    In every attendance, the time spent in the department was well over five to six hours, to see a doctor, the department just could not cope with the influx of patients. Every one were in need of treatment, there wasn't no one who didn't have to be there.
    Unfortunately, this is becoming a usual occurrences, every day, the department is stretched, there is seldom any beds, for those that requires being hospitalized.
    Another local hospital, with a brand new emergency department, has had to call a black warning and turn away patients. This is a warning for the rest of the winter.

    I could go on about politics, I could write all night about what is happening to our country.

    I cannot imagine why anyone would vote for another five years of this government!

    By the way all three patients are okay and back to their usual selves!!!
  11. If you have read my blog pages, you would already know that I am a huge footie fan, that has a job with my club, I am fortunate to work for my club and get all the benefits of being close enough to the action.
    Last weekend we unbelievably went back to wemberley for the third season running, to play in the league two play offs final v Newport county. I still cannot believe how well my club has done, just getting anywhere close to finishing the league anywhere near the playoffs. Actually being at Wembley is a bonus. Winning is the icing on the cake!
    We travelled down on the day before the final and we had booked the same hotel and being not superstitious, we ate at the same restaurant! Same breakfast, same supermarket for the stuff needed for the dressing room. We travelled the same route to Wembley.
    But fate had stepped in to upset our plans!
    As we left the supermarket, I started smelling burning and seeing a little smoke coming into the cab of our van. Also we lost the blowers, the indicators and other electrical powered systems.
    We immediately pulled over and opened the doors and windows. As the smoke cleared, I got the bonnet open and assessing the engine, oil, water and checking the important part of the engine and then we checked the fuses and found, the one from the electrical system has melted and another two was very hot causing the smoke and electrical faults. I pulled the fuses, checked everything else and found that the engine was running okay.
    I was beside myself, we should have been at the stadium by then and I was worried sick that another break down was going to take too long, and I wouldn't get to the stadium early enough, my anxiety levels went through the roof. I was using a few choice words. I was in a near panic! The most important game of the season, and this bloody van was trying to ruin the day again!
    Nor was this the first time our transport had failed us, in the past few weeks, the gear linkage cable failed going to a London club, the power steering went on a trip to south Wales, the turbo hose leaking, and a blow out on the M6, on the way back from Nottinghamshire!
    No wonder I was swearing, in the end after discussing the situation with my colleagues, we decided to chance getting to the stadium and then phoning the AA, the breakdown organisation, not the alcoholic one! Though both would have helped at that moment!
    We arrived nearly forty minutes later than we should, but the staff on duty were very helpful and agreed to help with our predicament, we got signed in and handed our accreditation. We got escorted to the changing room area near the tunnel, and off loaded. As soon as this was done, my colleague phoned the AA and myself and other colleague looked after the dressing room.
    In the dressing room everything was done and well organised for the arrival of the players. I was just so relieved when we could start enjoying the experience of the day.
    The mechanic arrived about an hour after us, and gained access to our van, thanks to the Wembley staff and he set about to at least get the van running for the return trip up north.
    All thoughts of the van took a back seat, as the players arrived and as the kick off approached because this is the important time as the players get ready and go out for warm up. Every time I have stepped out onto the Wembley turf, it is a thrill that I savour, in my wildest dreams, I never thought that I would be on the famous Wembley turf! It was warm out there, and the weather could have a bearing, if it went to extra time.
    It did, the amount of water, we used, was trotting up and I had to ask for more and find ways to keep towels cold.
    Everything possible was done to help the players cope with the heat.
    I will say now, that both teams did not want penalties, and the longer the game went on, it was becoming more than likely! They already were a man down due to a red card. But we couldn't really create anything and were getting frustrated, we didn't take advantage of the extra man, they were seeing the extra time out very well indeed! Our bench was biting their fingertips. Until the very last seconds of the extra time, in the 119th minute, a good move down our right allowed our right wing back to put in a cross to our strikers head and he placed the ball into the opposite corner of the goal as the goalkeeper was trying to get across.
    The bench erupted, I tried to get to the players but got blocked of by other staff, we had scored, Oh, wow! Jumping up and down, the whole one side of the stadium were dancing and singing, it was so loud, it is an incredible feeling and experience being there in front of all our support, oh yeah, my ears are still ringing!
    We had won and all the players and staff were congratulating each other and it is unbelievable celebrating at the home of footie and the partying never stopped for another thirty six hours!
    At this point, I would like to mention our opponents, who were incredible, not only did they never stop competing, they were very honourable in defeat. Despite the result, they were very friendly and congratulated us warmly.
    Their fans were brilliant and were as loud as ours. 25,000 + for two relatively small clubs was brilliant.
    We celebrated in the changing room, then in the big lounge above, I was cleaning up as usual., then the players and staff celebrated on the coach home. (Dont tell the rozzers!)
    After four hours, t h e mechanic announced that the van was okay to drive home, this was as the game went on.
    So we packed the van and eventually around eight o'clock, we set off home, thanking everyone in sight for such a great day. The drive home was without incident, thankfully because the mechanic had warned us that he to rig up the electrical system, because to be fit for future excursions, the van needed a completely new main electrical wiring loom.
    We arrived at our ground just after midnight, the party was still going on in one of the lounges, whilst the fans had gained access to the car park outside and were still singing.
    The party carried on into the morning, I wisely took myself home.
    The whole staff and players returned the following afternoon to give the fans a chance to greet the players and manager on the pitch and mingle with supporters in the fans zone tent.
    We had a civic reception the following afternoon.
    Phew! I'm tired!
    What a weekend!
    What a result!

    I'm booking the hotel for the end of next season!
    I'm getting a new van, I hope I can persuade my bosses to get me one!

    League One and new grounds and stadia to visit!

    I did say, last time, we are back, watch out!

    League One, look out, the superwhites are back!
  12. The genre of what if novels have always appealed to the amateur historian in me!
    My knowledge of the American civil war and all the the theories that abound from this dreadful war has been overdone especially in the states.
    Have you ever considered a different outcome to certain events in your own life?
    For example, if you decided to go somewhere and then changed your mind. Say you went, and because you did you altered your future history. This could have been a life changing experience!
    But, as things turn out, you wouldn't know anyway!
    You have regrets, just as everyone else, I wish I had done things differently and of course, once done, you can't change history.

    But it's the world changing decisions made by our leaders, that have always interested me, and there is so many to choose from. I once wrote in one of my blogs that if my relative who fought at Waterloo had died in the battle instead of surviving and the allied forces was destroyed by Napoleon's Grand Armee instead.
    The change in European history would have evolved quite differently. France would have become I would have to become an even bigger power bloc and stayed a republic. It did again, but you see what I mean!
    But English power and political policy would have changed, The Duke of Wellington would not have become such a powerful figure in history and subsequent governments would not have been as enthusiastic for a worldwide empire. A lot would have changed up to and beyond Queen Victoria's reign.
    It the same with the twentieth century history and warfare.
    A lot of Hitler's rise and downfall has been overdone in this genre of fictional story telling.
    But it goes back to when he was a corporal in the trenches, or even before that and his early life that moulded his life. His decisions as a dictator caused so much destruction and of course everything that happened because of those decisions. It is fascinating that these decisions by one man alone sealed historic events since.

    But there were other decisions made at this time, that also had an influence on history, the timing of America joining the allied forces for example, because of Pearl Harbour. Interesting if the Japanese had decided to secure the eastern theatre of war instead of attacking America! However, there is a consensus of thought that they had a great chance to take the U.S. Navy out of the war, and would have had free reign over south east Asia.
    D.day is another of those decisions, that has intrigued me because, it was always thought that Stalin demanded that the allies opened another front, to take forces away from Russia. A book theorized, it had nothing to do with Stalin, but the power behind the allied governments wanting to get to Germany before the Russians did. And stop Stalin's push for European country and of course the later named Eastern bloc. If the forces used on D Day were sent to push the war through Italy instead, the Russians would not have stopped until they reached the North sea! How that would have changed Europe after the war, or even the cold war would have lead to much worse!
    Why did the Americans and allies fight communism in first Korea, then in Vietnam? When it prevented the spread of communism, but never stopped it. The bay of pigs, is another decision time between the super powers!
    It was a close call!
    And finally, brexit! Whoever was the power brokers behind the Tories decision to have a referendum. What a really bad decision that was!

    Or was it?

    What if in the unlikely event of it being the best decision ever.

    There is always a what if, and the Labour party had won that election?
  13. Besides not having the time or the inclination to continue writing my blog, it has been now seven months since my last one and I will tell you that my life has changed so much since this time last year, and really it is not about my health or my dietary regime.
    My job is my dream job!
    I work in football! Don't get me wrong, it is hard work, not for those who are not willing to put themselves out, to get everything sorted, to get what is needed, where it is needed to be. At the right time. At the right place.
    Football is a team sport, and besides the playing squad, there is those like me, who do all the work behind the team, and the way it is done is so the players have nothing but football on their minds and as little distraction as possible.
    At my age, I should be considering retirement (again) but because the work is demanding, my health is not an issue! (As long as I behave myself with food of course!) So retirement is a long, long away.
    My health as I've said is good, I have now had a step watch as a chrimbo present and an app that records, steps, kilometres, records blood glucose levels, weight, BP, sleep and temperature. I only use the weight and blood glucose readings.
    My average for January for steps per day, is 17000, which is according to the app, approximately 24
    kilometres!! Calories burned, 2600! Which again according to the app is four hours constant activity time!
    As is my necessary control, my blood glucose levels (fasting!) Is within normal range, averaging at 4.9!
    Weight, I have now been around twelve stone for over three years, hovering just above and below. So I've had to convert my weight to kilograms, and my average for the last month is 81.2 kilos! Which I'm quite happy with!

    The father in law is defying all odds and is still being the pain he has always been. I don't worry too much!
    The wife's diabetes is slightly better thanks to a change in meds, but her overall health is suffering because there is more happening in her spine! (I'm afraid of this!) I do worry!
    The rest of the family don't discuss health problems because me and the wife have enough for us to be worrying too much, but that doesn't stop it, does it? I do worry!
    As you read this, you would think that my anxiety over certain things are at the forefront of my brain, that couldn't be further from the truth, if you have had the chronic symptoms of anxiety, which I had during my hypo hell, being a little bit worried about your family is a natural thing, anxiety as I had it, is at least a hundred times worse! You are scared to make any sort of decision, and I would not be able to cope with my job or life as it is, without making hard decisions all the time. In fact, my job has helped so much in this regard.
    I had a busy, quiet, Christmas, with my list of presents filled. I actually had Christmas day off, which is unusual, because of the fixtures over, before and after chrimbo. We played six times in the three weeks over Christmas and New Year period, and if you add the FA cup replays, it was ten games in five weeks. It is not only match days but the preparations for matches and also training.
    I can't believe that it is February already, the season has gone so fast, and my boss, has already asked me to consider my summer vacation and remaining holidays days! It is now only thirteen weeks left unless we make the playoffs!
    I'm 64 soon! And I really feel as if I'm in my thirties! Occasionally, age does catch up and I get the aches and pains from my bones and muscles, mainly in the evening when I'm physically tired and need my beauty sleep! I'm never mentally tired or lethargic, I have energy levels you would not believe, my brain is working full steam ahead, planning my working life, what chores, what shopping, and of course paying the bills!
    What a difference from 2012/13 and my hypo hell before diagnosis!
    Thank you, people on this here forum, thank you my endocrinologist! Thank you whoever arranged for me to get my job!
    I still don't believe my life has been anything but hard and I do appreciate the little things that have helped my life become something that has been a really great achievement from my background and the struggles my life has exposed me to and the experience I have had.
    There is a saying around here that I've heard so many times especially in the people who struggle every day to make ends meet!
    Life's ****, then you die!

    In my life, the good fortune of making my living standards improve, through all the ups and downs, has been remarkable, but I fear, that all my endeavours has been for nought because of politics and this country's obsession for being British!

    Well, that is it for now!
    Best wishes
  14. Well, what a couple of weeks that was!
    If you have read my blog, you know that my life has not been all sunshine and roses. Life has been hard and will continue to be because of how my big family has a history of being taken away by circumstances fate dictates.
    But I have crawled out of child poverty, to have a grammar school education, an education in how being poor in an elitist system is not going to further your prospects. To be so good at certain sports doesn't guarantee you a place, to have street smarts before leaving school and using my personal skills to try and get an apprenticeship. Failing because of my background.
    My determination to support my family, regardless of job opportunities I have never had a day claiming benefits, never, allowing my kids to fail because of who they are. And their background. Indeed my job now is somewhat so rewarding, my dream job. Sometimes life can be a pleasure.
    Enough of me, I have every reason to be proud of my immediate family, though certain older ones are totally irresponsible for their behaviour. I digress!

    During a period that has really astonished me, three out of four, those in school have exceeded expectations from their school reports. The others , two hold good jobs as apprentices, the other two are not at school.
    Indeed, one of my granddaughters had her first holy communion today, she is definitely a chip off the old block.

    So why has my kids and grandkids made so proud and the reason for my joy. Though it was by pure accident it happened.
    One of my son's saved a fifteen year old boys life this week.
    The boy, wanted to commit suicide by jumping onto a motorway, this happened to a young girl at the same place last week. So, as my son was driving by on his way into work, he spotted the lad behaving suspiciously, where these flowers had been placed to commemorate a young lady's demise last week. He stopped and asked if he was okay, the lad told him in no certain manner to go away, my son again enquired to his well being, the lad started walking away, so my son watched him, the boy walked to the end of the bridge and kept looking back.
    My son then decided to go around the motorway roundabout and make sure that the boy was away from danger.
    As he returned to the spot where he spoke to him earlier, the boy had returned. My son phoned the police, he pulled up again and could see that the boy was distressed and crying, my son spoke to him and again swore at!
    The boy started to climb the bridge railing, my son immediately left his vehicle by this time the boy was just about to jump, and without thought of safety grabbed the boy and pulled him back over the railings, my son held the boy down to prevent the boy doing it again. Another car pulled up and phoned the police, then another car stopped and helped my son prevent any more problems.
    The police arrived, placing the boy inside, and drove away.
    My son was sent home from work because he was in a bit of a state.
    The following day, there was a sign, on that same spot, that said, Thank you for saving our son!
    My son has received many messages from the people who witnessed this, the chief constable also phoned him and praised his actions.
    One of my other sons, helped an old woman with her falling and saving her embarrassment till an ambulance arrived.
    My daughter, her job is in social care for children, she has been rewarded because of her work in helping unfortunate children in foster care.

    And to finish off, I'm not name dropping but my nephew was part of the guard of honour at the recent royal wedding. He is serving with the Blues and Royals, He was pictured in his finery on the steps outside alongside the happy couple.

    And finally, as it is now a month since Wembley! And my team winning and my part in it, what a month it's been!

    On a sad note, my brothers are not here to celebrate their birthdays during this time, my eldest would have 74 on June 6th (D Day!) And my next eldest would have been 66, today!

    I have my health. And I'm thankful for that but not as much as my kids and grandkids are dear to me!

    Thank you for reading.
  • Meet the Community

    Find support, connect with others, ask questions and share your experiences with people with diabetes, their carers and family.

    Did you know: 7 out of 10 people improve their understanding of diabetes within 6 months of being a Diabetes Forum member. Get the Diabetes Forum App and stay connected on iOS and Android

    Grab the app!
  • Tweet with us

  • Like us on Facebook