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  1. Today, I heard the dreadful news that a former player, manager and legend of my favourite and local football club died after a long illness, quietly in his sleep.
    Hopefully the pearly gates, will greet the man with as much respect as he is held by the supporters of his beloved Tranmere.
    He was the most successful manager of our club and held in high esteem and only one of a handful who could ever be a true legend in our football club.
    The club has already named a stand, the supporters collected for a statue which proudly stands at the entrance to Prenton Park. And there will be tears on Saturday!
    I am truly saddened, this is like a death in the family, anyone who knew him never had a bad word about him. This is not just the usual sentiment, this is justly deserved, he was probably one of the last gentleman in football.
    He was ahead of his time in tactics, his players loved him and those players owed so much to him. A lot of the squad he took through the league always proved they were better than the league they were in.
    Despite promotions to the edge of the premiership (3 play off seasons concurrent!) Despite the tenfold increase in attendance and the rollercoaster of a ride, lowly Tranmere achieved. I believe being denied a place in the league cup final, by Aston Villa at villa park was the absolute highlight of his attitude and tactical awareness, he out thought the great Ron Atkinson in the first leg, thrashing Villa 3-1, then going down to a penalty shoot out is which Bosnich the Villa keeper starred. Why, am I praising him for a defeat?
    Well the Villas first goal was controversy, but what followed at Villa park was bad.
    Never mind the offside goal. Bosnich, remember him? Well he brought our striker down for a penalty and the referee bottled it and as last man should have been sent off. He didn't get booked!!!!!!
    We scored, the tie went to extra time and penalties.
    Both referees, were never allowed to referee Rovers again!
    Did our manager moan or blame anyone?
    No.
    It was always what we did, not the opposition, the officials, weather, what we did, nothing else.
    He inspired an attacking formation which baffled many opponents, he could, play with a sweeper and have four forwards. He never pulled his strikers backs for corners or free kicks, sometimes, three or four players on half way line for an opposition corner.
    His first achievement was to keep Rovers from relegation to the non league by gaining enough points to achieve this, a winning goal against Exeter at Prenton Park did enough and the way was clear for a gradual rise through the league's to what is known now as the championship.
    He took us to Wembly, four times, some good memories against Bristol Rovers, Bolton, Nottingham forest in the centenary celebrations. We were forever lowly Tranmere and punching above our weight.
    We had our ground modernised, we achieved a fortnightly slot on saint and greavsie.
    We were the little fish in the pond fighting the big boys.
    We achieved eleven seasons in the championship, that is unbelievable for a club, with no history and forever in the bottom division.
    Of course, it couldn't last and he stepped down, to let John Aldridge take the reins and the rollercoaster ride continued, with the cup exploits that Aldos reign continued.
    His legacy will live on with our supporters.
    I have met the great man, I'm writing this as a form of grief, I'm gutted to be honest.
    Our club will rise again, I've no doubt that! But no one ever will outdo or be as richly remembered or admired as Johnny King, legend just doesn't do it!

    A famous saying, one of many;

    Tranmere will never be able to compete with Liverpool or Everton.
    They're like big liners like the Queen Mary.
    But I see Tranmere as a deadly submarine.

    R.I.P.

    This is my fiftieth blog.
    It was going to be my last, I don't know, really.
    I'm not getting the readers.
    I have a lot to say and a lot to tell people.
    I'm thinking of writing a book, but I'm not certain about that either.
    I'm very busy and don't think I'll ever complete it!
    These blogs should have a wider readership, which is not getting promoted.
  2. Well, continuing the theme of previous blogs, this was my first opportunity to have an overnight stay because the distance between the two clubs playing, so instead of the usual day trip on match days, this was an overnight stay in a hotel all paid for by the club.
    I have already posted a thread on my stay and the food issues, but if you haven't read them I will repeat it here.
    But first, the Friday afternoon trek down the motorways, namely M6, M25!
    I just don't know why they built these roads as all they do is crawl at ten miles an hour if your lucky, why do they have speed limits! You get over forty, you are really traveling! We seen, five bumps, two blow outs and queues e everywhere, there are so many roadworks, but no one is working on them! They must all finish early on a Friday.
    The only place we saw a work crew, was on the M6 toll road fitting a new sign! But of the nearly 300 miles we travelled, half of it was roadworks. How can the country cope, with that, I just don't know!
    Of course with all that we didn't get to our destination till 7pm. Almost seven hours, which works out at thirty miles an hour to get here, we park in the full car park, we book in, dump our stuff and make our way to the restaurant.
    Of course by that time all the cooking and prep has been done. So I look at the set self serve buffet. And there is a great choice, unfortunately all of the food on display, I couldn't touch any of it, even the salads had dressings!
    So I seen a sign, that stated, that if you had an allergy, you could speak to the head chef.
    I requested a talk and a few minutes later, he appeared. He came over and introduced himself. His name was Tony and he was definitely interested and intrigued at my weirdness and said that he had had many different forms of allergies come to the hotel but had never heard of mine or as extreme as mine..
    He suggested pan fried gammon and eggs cooked in virgin olive oil.
    They duly arrived with the most succulent pieces of meat, it was gorgeous!
    After eating, I asked for the chef again to thank him and I heaped a lot of praise on him.
    He asked if I was breakfasting, and I was, and waiting for me in the morning was bacon, eggs, mushrooms, tomatoes, and black pudding. Fabulous!
    I was very concerned about asking for special services and now I know as Keith Lemon says, if you don't ask, you don't get! It has given my confidence a tremendous boost.
    Of course you can't have everything, as the hotel itself was only three stars and lacked the modern amenities you would expect in this century, it was clean but needed a makeover!
    We checked out, and drove to the ground and started getting ready for the game. The ground is set in wonderful surrounding and at last a reasonably warm spring day.
    We got a credible draw and everybody seemed happy. So after packing everything in the van, we set off, back to the best place to rest my head, my bed in my house!
    It took just over five hours to get back, two hours less than on the way down and no one working on the road works!
    A pleasing trip and I'm getting used to going to the away games again.
    I was totally made up with my preparation for my food on the road. And had no health issues.

    I'm loving the experience and hopefully it will continue!
  3. Well, it's been a few weeks and the work has surpassed all expectations.
    I'm writing a short update on daybreak, while it's quiet.
    The interaction with all the other staff has be really good and have welcomed me into the team.
    It has been an eye opener to say the least, actually being part of something that has a bearing on professionals and those that follow. The respect and welcome we get everywhere! I've been so far has been something that I have never taken into account all the time I've been watching professional sports, what it takes to get a professional team ready to play, the planning, logistics and knowing what to be ready for before, during and after.
    There is tremendous banter and support, everyone creates a teamwork atmosphere and especially on match days there is no discerning voice or anything that will rock the team's objective.
    Of course, winning or losing has a different bearing on attitude and determination, even drawing can have both affects depending on who you are playing and how it affects the standards the manager is setting.
    The amount of equipment needed is unbelievable, especially all the physiotherapy stuff.
    At some places you would need pack horses to get all of it into the dressing room and sometimes you can't get it in!

    Another update soon!
  4. So, a really great Christmas present, was enjoyed by myself, my son and his partner last night, when we went to a local theatre to watch a show called, ' The Reach Out Tour'. Which was a Motown show, sung by professional singers, not a tribute band! The seven singers backed by a genuine backing band, and it was all live.
    No synthesizers, no miming, real genuine voices. And music played live!
    I have seen many artistes, famous and not so famous and have listened to all kinds of live and recorded material, and to say these singers, we're never out of key and clearly so talented and you have to wonder why they are not recording artistes when you consider the shocking synthetic voices you hear in modern popular music. I digress.
    They sang and danced to different Motown artistes chart topping songs and they had the costumes to go with them, the choreography was very good. The hits kept coming, and the audience kept dancing and singing as the stars kept the 'party' going! The place rocked!
    They were on stage for a total of two hours, with a break of thirty minutes. It was brilliant, can't give enough praise for it! They did three requests, gave away cds of the show, signed of course, posed for photos after, we're very obliging to the audience who wanted to chat and congratulate them on the performance afterwards.
    The best thing I thought afterwards, was that the artistes enjoyed it! They kept smiling at each other, silent nods of heads and interacting with the audience, a young lad, about twenty even got the chance to dance for a song on stage and he was not bad either.
    They did an accapello version of Under the Boardwalk, which was truly outstanding!
    I've asked for another Christmas present as such for the near future!
    Brilliant!
  5. Well nearly a week into my new job, I may have been over the top on how I felt about doing my 'dream' job.
    I can only say that it is a good thing that I haven't ate many carbs as my blood levels would have been bouncing off the walls, just like a rubber ball. I'm still learning things that I thought I knew, but my eyes have been opened on how to do the things that need doing.
    So far, I haven't cocked up (praying) that I know of! The people that I'm working with have been patient teaching an old dog, new tricks. The lads have been really great, and welcomed me and so far I'm enjoying it, the work is steady and trying to remember machine settings, temps and how long to set the machines, I've got to learn pressing with a machine and hopefully I won't press's my thumbs instead!
    Finding and working out somebody else's system and where everything goes, is another worry, but the senior staff seem ok so far!
    The biggest test is packing the bags for the weekend and not forgetting something small but necessary they might or really need. Imagine going on holiday every weekend and you need to pack for the entire family and neighbours! There is an awful lot of stuff that's required. And I have to learn it all.
    A checklist is necessary and already have been told stories of stuff being left behind either at work or in hotels etc.
    Now that I've started and its fairly an odd time to start doing this job because I believe it would have been better to start in the summer so that I could lead up to the season, and have a fair idea, that things wouldn't be a rush to find things out.
    Well, never mind, hey, I wanted this post and I'm going to be as unrelenting in trying to do my best, as I've done with my health.
    Maybe, there could be blogs to read of my travels and experiences of my 'dream job'

    I know now how to fold clothes professionally!!!
  6. Well, I may be jumping the gun but there is a slim chance that I could be involved in what I would term, one of my dream jobs. I might not, but something that has been on my list of things I wish I could do, if allowed, could and I hope I do, have that chance.
    It is in football and there is small chance it could be in football with a club that can't be named as yet.
    It has come about because a friend of a friend, is to give me the chance of an interview, to work within football, at a higher than just groundstaff, that I'm doing now, not that I do want to lose my current job. But how could I not want to do what I've wished for forever?
    My explanation is convoluted and I'm not expressing myself properly as I am that excited about it.
    The best thing about the job, is instead of being on the periphery of sport, I would be involved in interactive duties within the team framework.
    It is not physical but a job I could keep doing for the years I would be able to if I can keep fit and well, another reason and a challenge to do what I have been successfully for the past couple of years. Who would have thought that I would be in a position to even do this sort of involvement in sport? When five years ago, I was getting bigger and my health was in decline and my mental stability was questionable. I certainly hoped to, but not in reality.
    Just to be able to go out and work was a blessing, then! Now I'm back to good health, why shouldn't I improve my life as well as my lifestyle!
    That dream may yet come true!
    Here's hoping!
  7. Well it all started, with the lads and me meeting up on Lime street platform to catch the Friday afternoon inter city train to that there London, and a good weekend of footie, beer and a bloody good laugh.
    The only thing was we got beat, but that did not take the shine off our away day.
    We boarded the train, the seven of us, we got to know each other better and got a few beers from the train buffet bar, I could never drink much, I didn't know why then and it wasn't long after I gave up trying to drink altogether.
    Anyway after a couple the tongues got looser and the talk and laughter flowed, a coupler had similar jobs in factories, one was a student, the other two worked in heavy industry.
    But the one thing we had in common was our love for our home town team.
    After about two and a half hours, we arrived at Euston station. The walk to the tube to where we were going was not far and we boarded a somewhat crowded odd looking train and next thing I knew we had arrived at a station I can't remember the name of, but it was above ground near Brentford. Also near Heathrow, and I nearly got a stiff neck looking at all the planes coming and going.
    There was a black hackney cab waiting for us. And that took us to our hotel.
    It wasn't bad, not the best but not the worst, we got ourselves stowed away and went for a bite to eat.
    The others had a drink but I had a decent enough cuppa.
    Because we had to be up early the next morning, we didn't stay out late and I believe I took a book to bed and read while I got myself comfortable for a night in a strange bed.
    We woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking and packed our bags to the rhythm of the planes going overhead at short intervals. We got ourselves a hearty breakfast of the usual bacon, eggs and anything else that was there. We were gonna need all our wits about us for the day ahead.
    A limo was waiting for us and because of the traffic on a Saturday morning, the driver was rushing us along.
    We crammed ourselves in and drove across the busy roads of London.
    We arrived at our destination, the security guard took our names and told us to wait for someone to show us where to go. This person was a young lad who escorted through the warren of the building and told us to wait in this particular room. We waited for five minutes, until, some man came along and asked to put our bags into a locked cupboard and told us to put on our shirts and if we needed the toilet to go now because we wouldn't be able to later.
    It was only minutes away now and a uniformed bloke brought the cup in and we took photos, then a guy we recognised came in and we had a little banter about the game tomorrow. Then the director took us through the corridors to the green room and awaiting us were two people who introduced themselves, it was unbelievable to meet these two stars of the footie scene. More people introduced themselves, known and unknown, and it was getting closer and closer and there was a certain excitement buzzing around.
    We were told five minutes. And we were led into a big room full of cameras and tech equipment, at last we had arrived, we sat in the Luther Blisset stand, the show started and Hels bells got the show going. When she introduced the fans of the week, we yelled our heads off, with a rendition of our favourite song of our beloved team. Yes we were on Soccer AM!
    The reason was we were playing the reds the next day at Prenton Park in the FA cup fifth round.
  8. I've no doubt that quite a lot of the people who view or read these blogs have had a reasonable amount of hypos and how they 'feel' when experiencing them. And what to do when the warning signs are there and you know what is happening. And of course, you treat them.

    How would you 'feel' if you didn't know exactly what was happening to you?
    Well, I've been there, worn the and so on.......
    Well as someone who has been there, in hypo hell as I call it, is not an exact term, but it applies, as good as it is!
    You see, as if you didn't know, I have RH!
    Which is a blood glucose disorder, which when you eat carbs or sugars of any sort, you quickly dispose of the glucose, then you still create insulin. Enough to lower your blood glucose levels into hypos.
    You see the first problem that you face is the fact that your bloods rocket up, not just gently, but really quickly enough to get the symptoms of hyperglycaemia. Which of course is high blood glucose levels. Then because of the excess insulin, you drop slowly back towards normal blood glucose levels.
    But it doesn't stop, it continues down into a hypoglycaemic episode. It just keeps going, down until, you either eat and arrest the hypo. Or you drink enough to stop it happening. Then you have to keep eating through the day sufficiently to stop the yo yo effect. Of course you have to eat very low carb.
    Just so that you don't start the whole thing getting out of hand.

    So, at one time, about four years or so ago! This is where I was.
    I was slowly but surely gaining weight, even on all the diets, in fact, not eating very much at all. In my own little world, because, I was not pleasant to be with, and not aware of what was going on. I knew something was, but my GPs as I did, thought it was my diabetes, (wrongly diagnosed) and all the dreadful symptoms, that was the cause. Unaware of what was going on, I trudged through life, always tired, always, no energy, huffing and puffing through life, exhausted. But those weren't the worst symptoms by a long stretch.
    Sleep deprivation, waking and not being able to sleep regardless of how much sleep you may have got, the dreams so wild, vivid, colourful, not nightmares but so very life like, sometimes, I didn't even know, wether I was awake or dreaming, the drudge of life, bearing down on me.
    I would be so warm at times, wearing clothes was a sweaty bath, even in winter, I couldn't cool down, my wife put it down to my age and ' that time of life!'
    I couldn't see much because of the blurred vision, the constant headache, the feeling of being anxious and always angry, but not the temper, the real awful way, I hated everything and everyone.
    I would just stop and cry for no reason, I couldn't just do anything as my body wouldn't let me. I just couldn't be *****!
    I withdrew into myself, my social life was nil, my kids and grandkids ignored in case I couldn't help myself. I made excuses to the family but I couldn't face them, I couldn't trust myself! The anxiety and fear, with how horrible I felt, the confusion and lightheadedness, the list is endless, even some I didn't realise I had till they were pointed out to me.
    I knew something was going on but I didn't know what!
    I was unaware of what was happening to me.
    Which made it worse!
    If you have no hypo awareness or hyper awareness because it was constantly happening, you and your body would try and adjust, but nothing myself or my body did would stop the 'hell' I was in!
    I was at a stage, that, I did feel like giving up. But because the wife is disabled and I needed to be her crutch, I tried like hell to get it sorted. But time was passing me by and in the end, life and time just became a blur. Just blending into nothingness!
    I cannot remember, things at all, from that time, I've been shown photos and other stuff, but I haven't got a clue about them. I have always gone to my local football team to watch.
    I've read all about it, but it just seems a mental aberration have blocked everything from my memory.
    Whatever went on, I have no clue!
    The grandkids birthdays, I have missed so much! I come across stuff, that are either in my wardrobe or my drawers that I'm certain I've never seen before, I'm certain! Well, I couldn't remember getting them!
    I hope I've given you enough of the circumstances I found myself, I've tried to describe the what I was going through. But the point I'm making is if you a hyper, then hypo, then hyper, then hypo, then hyper, then hypo. And every time you took a reading it would be high, because that's when you first feel bad, and of course, your body is telling you to eat, and you would think it was your high bloods. You wouldn't feel the lows, so you never checked them, you just felt awful all the time, not knowing what your bloods were fluctuating wildly as your vivid dreams! Up and down all day, day after day, week after week! And so on.
    Think of having a hypo, then multiplying by about three to four times, with the horrid symptoms multiplying until you just want to curl up and die!
    Yes, I have thought about it, not since, I'm not that much of a coward to do that to my family, I know, what somebody does and what they leave behind. I'd rather face it, than back away and hurt the ones you love most.
    I'm truly grateful to those who helped me get my life back and
    the one person who literally saved my life and those who stuck by me!

    My hyper and hypo awareness is now so keen, I won't be going back to my own personal, private, hell. I couldn't live like that again. My hypo hell is over and I'm never, ever, going back!
  9. So that's my sixtieth year over!
    Where has it all gone?
    Well, like most people, they know but it has gone so fast, that it's really difficult to remember everything and unfortunately, forgetfulness is part of growing old.
    Sometimes you're convinced that you have Alzheimer's and then you remember you haven't!
    Sometimes you remember to forget or you forget to remember!
    Sometimes you select what you remember, about things you shouldn't forget!
    Most of the time you want to forget what you don't want to remember!
    But at times, you can't forget, what you didn't want to remember!
    I believe that is what bringing the New year is all about. Remembering what has gone past, but hopeful that the New year will bring life and health, wealth and stealth for your next part of your life!
    Hopefully the year will be good to you!
    But sometimes it is not! And you can't change it!
    That's fate, karma, life in a nutshell, things happen that you have no control over!
    I want to wish everyone a happy New year, but I now realise, that happiness is in short supply and you have to make the most of what you have and hope and strive for the future.
    I will finish by a short message, maybe you have heard or read a version of the same theme!
    I think it's appropriate, at this time of the year!

    If you live in the past,
    You will miss the present,
    And won't see the future coming!

    Happy New Year
  10. As in blog 34 and beforehand blog 16. I dreamed that one of my favourite authors would write about the battle of Waterloo in her next lot of books. Well, what would be the odds, hey?

    So it was published today, Christmas day, 2015!
    The storyline was not centered on the battle or what happens!
    It was a time travel story and this was where the main character of the story, visited the battle on the day of battle to show, record and study a certain well known part of the middle holding the line against superior numbers!
    If you have read my blogs, It is a special day for me as it was my dead and closest brother of mine birthday!

    I don't know why I dreamt it!
    I don't know if anything will happen because of it!

    The book is called ' The very first damned thing!' by Jodi Taylor.

    But I do know that parts of the story were definitely in my dream!

    I am truly gobsmacked!
    I am astounded.
    I am so humbled by this!

    I don't usually have nothing to say, maybe saying no more, says it all!

    Hope you have a wonderful Christmas!
    I have!
  11. Another memory trip back to my childhood years as it is getting really near chrimbo..
    As I've said many times, life was hard for me and my family, me and my three brothers grew with not a lot! My family had to rely on my mother's wages, she worked in a factory as my dad could only do light duties because of the effects of double malaria during the war as a chindit in the horrors of the jungle of Burma.
    So things at that time in the late fifties and early sixties were extremely rough for my family.
    Of course, that hit the celebrations at Christmas because my parents couldn't afford to waste money on pressies especially in1962, when in early '63 of course the big freeze happened, not long after!
    I think everyone who was around then would know how bad that winter was. I've never been so cold and the country shivered for two months. It was unbelievably cold. Stalagmites and staligtites all over the place, ice everywhere, six family living in a single heated room, was no fun! But needs must, nothing to do, no school, no playing out, just making sure, you kept warm by keeping the coal fire going and making sure the pipes didn't crack because of the cold. Lagging pipes was one of my jobs in the attic!
    Going for coal at the nearby depots wasn't fun with no proper winter clothes either! Hated that year!
    Well the reason, my parents had saved up enough, but I bet you they regretted it in March, because I just got a card for my birthday! Was because I got my bestest ever present as a kid that year!
    It was a bike, so I really didn't mind not getting a birthday present that year, because I knew how broke we were!
    This bike was the first two wheeler, I'd had. I got a second hand trike when I was four, a real bone shaker!
    This was brand new, a Raleigh bike, dark blue and silver trim. The only other thing I found in my stocking was an orange (luxury item!) and a bar of chocolate! So, without breakfast, went out and duly fell over the front handlebars because I pulled on the front brake without the rear brake as well!
    I got up, no worse for wear, lesson learned and nobody could get me off it most of the day!
    I loved that bike, I toured the neighbourhood and beyond many times before the big freeze struck.
    So, my bike was idle for a lot of days, as I couldn't get on the frozen roads!
    There is nothing worse and frustrating that a thing you treasured, you couldn't use!

    What got me thinking about was the fact that we have bought a bike for one of my grandsons, and I had fun building it today! That's the real fun at Christmas, building toys, wrapping toys and playing with them with the kids! And of course getting spoiled by my family.
    No, the act of giving and buying is the one and only Christmas spirit anyone should need at this time of the year!

    To all you blog readers, have a joyous, peaceful, and loving Christmas. Hope you have a good one!
  12. Because of my recent bout of man flu, my lucid and vivid realistic Technicolor dreams have come back with a vengeance.
    So here are two that I've had over the past couple of nights!

    My first one is about the wife and what she was doing!
    You see, the dream I had I was searching for her and how I reacted to the situation I found her in.
    So there in my dream I was in a high street full of shops, not the modern malls or markets, just shops, I found her after much searching, you know that feeling when searching for something or someone, it was desperate and anxious, wondering where she was and that horrible sense of dread you may never find her!
    She was just going into a charity shop, where apparently as the dream told me that was where she was working or helping out! Well that's a new one as the wife can't work!
    She saw me and completely ignored me as if I was a stranger, which hurt!
    She carried on sorting through clothes and moving them, I knew, she knew I was watching her! I went to talk to her and she shook her head, I immediately did a turnaround and walked out of the shop.
    I was sitting on a conveniently placed bench just across from the shop.
    A man came in and kissed her on her cheek, I got angry, but did nothing, something in her manner that I know so well, made me sit and suffer, how I suffered!
    She made herself busy at the back of the shop and I lost sight of her. I walked away in anger, how could she do this to me? A stranger could come between us after all this time?
    However as it turned out, she appeared next to me and explained everything.
    She told me she was undercover working for the police and the man that came in the shop, they were after, was a conman, stealing lots of money from the charity shop.
    She had to get back and set him up, for the arrest later.
    The next image was this man getting beat up in an old type of police van!
    And the wife and me walking home hand in hand!
    But you see the wife is disabled and can't lift things and walk around, maybe wishful thinking!

    The second dream is about me getting lost and the failure to get out of that situation.
    I go to football away games quite regularly and have travelled up and down, west to east, south and north.
    Been to most professional grounds in the country, just missing the odd few but done well over a hundred grounds some once, loads twice. Some a lot more!
    So you see, I know how to get there and back, and I know what to do when coming away from grounds.
    The one in my dreams is one I've visited a few times and there is no way that you can get lost as there is plenty of car parking and helpful local hospitality to put you straight.
    However coming out I found myself and a stranger in a park where there was a pond, quite large, and swings and play area. Well, I didn't have a clue, where I was, and where to go to find the car, I was truly lost, so me and the stranger walked around the pond, noticing more and more teenagers gathering around looking at us.
    I was getting desperate, then I noticed my back pack was now empty, (I don't have one!) My food was gone, I worried about not eating, as I have to eat every few hours, unless I hypo! So I was getting more desperate and befuddled, I even asked the stranger, what do I have to do!
    I looked for my phone that was gone, then my wallet and I was left with nothing to contact anyone.
    The teenagers were just sitting there laughing at me.
    I started shouting at them, about who had robbed me and how do I get out of the park!
    We kept walking, then the stranger disappeared, I was on my own, I slipped into the pond, I got up and walked around the pond, more laughter, more desperate and frantic, more shouting from me. You thieves! I need my food! My phone! My wallet, my card! I was beside myself, my head was splitting, I was crying!
    Then I spotted a policeman, I sped up over to him and was just about to plead for help, then he started laughing!
    I fell out of bed! I was sweating and my head was definitely splitting.

    Sometimes, I hate my dreams!
  13. Well the shopping has been done, the kids and grandkids pressies are sorted, the plans drawn, the freezer full and the fridge, well and truly stuffed! One more delivery of shopping after wages paid in and thank whoever that's that for chrimbo!
    The house is a grotto, the decorations and tree done, the garden lit up like the Blackpool illumination! The pressies wrapped and the house is clean and tidy for all our visitors. Spare batteries and bank account has been well and truly raided. All my roasting joints are lined up for me to get the roasting tins out and oven on!

    Ok now, plan's are being drawn up between two grandkids birthdays before and after Christmas day!
    Grandson number 5 was born on December 23rd and granddaughter number one was born on December 27th. Well the pressies have been sorted and the cards are ready, just getting to the kids parties!
    Can't make the grotto and first party because of working this weekend as grandson number one, it's his birthday!
    Christmas used to be just Christmas till fifteen years ago, now it's just an absolutely party time from now until New year! It used to be Christmas day and maybe boxing day for the family get together, now it's literally every other day!
    Of course the little ones love it! It's such an exciting time for them, (and me!)
    Santa's letters wrote out and posted, the celebrations are just about to be started!

    There is only one drawback, like a lot of people, I have to work nearly every day, between now and the second week in January! Just Christmas day off and that's a change this year, as luck would have it! I might get the two birthdays off, but I won't hold my breath, but the kids understand, and sometimes, you just can't do anything about it. It's all part of my job!

    But I know that I will get spoilt, because in our house and family, that what we do!


    My Christmas wish is that despite our problems and worries, we can spread some happiness into the kids lives and let them enjoy themselves whilst they are younger and healthier!

    My best wishes to all!

    Merry Christmas to all on the forum!
  14. I have not mentioned a dream of mine for a while! So I'll go for this one, as it has been a recurring theme that has bounced around in my dreamworld a few times and if I get it out there, maybe like the others that have haunted my sleeping hours, it will recede into the past and give me some rest.
    My dreams are very vivid and they do hurt me on occasions, especially if they are really vivid and action filled.
    This one starts on a Merchant man during WWII. This dream is separated into seven parts each sequential just like a story! This is a brief overview and a shortened version of the dream.


    I am serving on the bridge of a merchant man on board a ship sailing across the Atlantic. I am in ordinary seaman clothes. There is the captain and an American admiral there as well.
    The American admiral is desperate to get across to Blighty. They are arguing about the time spent getting there.
    I feel that there is something so important on board! We have to get to Liverpool soonest

    At the docks in Birkenhead the ship is berthed at one of the famous wharfes in the dock complex.
    The admiral is arguing with someone who has to do with the train parked alongside. It is a cargo train and the package needs to be transferred.
    We are having a meeting in a bunker and it has maps all over the walls and tables. The Admiral is insistent that the package is delivered quickly to an American air force base.

    Train is derailed in bombing attack, the package is transferred to a truck to an airfield close by and I am the one guarding it! More bombs and explosions, I can hear the Admiral continually shouting at the delay.

    The package is taken by truck to another airbase with me riding as the only guard with the Admiral shouting at anything and anyone. It's too late, he shouts often and loudly.

    The Admiral is shouting that D Day has failed. Because the package could not be deployed.
    The Army brass won't let the Admiral use the package.
    I get the feeling that I shouldn't be in this place now!

    I am accompanying the Admiral somewhere, he is as normal shouting that we missed a great chance to kill thousands of the enemy.
    I tell him the war is over and the package wasn't needed.
    We are all cowards and have betrayed the allies. Could have got rid of the lot, he keeps shouting.

    We are at a court, where a lieutenant, is on trial for being a traitor. Apparently he was caught, giving details of the package. He is shot!
    I witness everything.
    The Admiral smiles for a change!
  15. This blog is a plea for understanding the trials and tribulations that I'm going through since my consultant endocrinologist appointment.
    I have been struggling with the thought of coming out of ketosis. I have got used to my lifestyle and I had always talked to myself mainly that I am in the best place to be in to control my condition, but my specialist has put doubts into my mind, which means that I have to question my priorities and if I am going to be his test subject and his guinea pig in getting somewhere close to having a normal dietary intake.
    The debate goes deeper than just eating or upping my carbs, because, I'm really reticent and scared of being ill again. I have gotten over the need for the baddies and most of them are abhorrent and I couldn't touch them again. I've done without all the starchy carbs and grains and only limit myself to meat and salad veg. So do I up my veg or eat more protein, or how do I up my very low carb intake.
    My doctor has suggested a half slice of rye bread with my evening small meal, which usually has no carbs at all, just protein and fat. I do have one slice of Bergen bread but usually at lunch, with meat and salad! but two pieces of bread, even though ok, is that low or high enough? Or too high?
    I'm not sure, I suppose I will have to find out!
    What is giving me these questions, well as in my previous blog, I have been informed of the great news, that the meds I'm on has given me the opportunity to test my consultants theory to have a sensible amount of carbs whilst low carbing and just be above ketosis as this would in his words be healthier in the long run, long term, not just the present but in ten years time. He is very wary of me continually staying in ketosis.
    The reason why my meds, have given me this opportunity is because of after having carbs, my blood glucose levels would usually spike very quickly and use my glucose up rapidly, then because the insulin hasn't been used and I overshoot insulin, the excess insulin takes me into hypo hell!
    What is happening now after my last prolonged OGTT, was that my spike was considerably less than usual and even though I still went into hypo, it was later than usual!
    So if I have a lower hyper, I have a longer window till I hypo.
    But and this is where I'm in a quandary! If I don't spike at all, then I don't hypo!
    Also into this equation, goes the excess insulin, because this would like it used to do be turned into visceral fat.
    Again, do I have a little more carb, no matter, the very small amount and not have an impact on my body.
    I am slowly losing weight, because, I have to eat small meals throughout the day and increasing anything would slow the weight loss, would this upset my balance?
    This is frustrating, the more you put into this problem the less you get out of it!
    I could be on a winner by satisfying my endocrinologist by slightly upping my carbs and still feeling good.
    Or I could be a loser by going back to the yo yo effect of having too many carbs.
    I need to satisfy myself that I can do this, there is no other way, my specialist won't be happy until I do and I can always stop and revert back or fast if I need to!
    Fasting for a day will put me into ketosis.
    To go into ketosis was a necessary thing to do to be in control, it may not be a need to do so now. I can now come out of ketosis and hopefully stay in control!

    Here's hoping!
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