Always depressed... Suicide awaits

[Mike d]

I don't know why I even wrote anything.

But we do ..... there is help here that falls outside the boundaries of D associated conditions. There are ways out of most things, but "giving up" is the last option I'd take.

Please think of that and draw from those who'd do as much as they can to help you through.

Mike

 

[Meghalton]

Again thank you everyone. I have now put some insulin in. My boyfriend pushed me to do it. I am on a complete down spiral. Sorry to bother you all and especially as you all seem like such great people. I will contact my gp tomorrow, although I'm not sure if it will help. This is my last push. Thank you all again x

 

[Mike d]

Call it your 2nd last push ... and when you make headway, your 3rd last push so you eventually put it into the distance. The man in your life cares about you so credit to him and credit to you for listening

 

[pleinster]

Hiya - don't want to sound patronising..but your photo looks like one good reason to keep taking the insulin and keep fighting. And no-one should feel guilty about a] having an illness (including depression), b] expressing their feelings about it (particularly on site where that's part of the reason most people join) or c] being so down that they are at the end of their energy. Life chucks us into bizarre and screwed up places for no damned reason at all sometimes...don't you think? good stuff happens to a@holes while good people have all kindsa negative stuff fall on them...yeah? So..if that's so..then what's guilt got to do with it? It's awful sometimes - but - you (ie. meaning you there) are going to get there..to where you feel better (ok not Wow! Life is so perfect!) but ok...yeah..I'm ok. Use the love around you which chooses to be there...and say whatever you ant to or need to say...and this site is here 24/7...so you get to hear this kind of rubbish from people like me..anytime. x

 

[t-man]

Hi Meghalton...keep looking up, things get better. I'm sorry your feeling down and I really hope the best for you, people care about you!

Take care,
t-man

 

[Ellla's Nanny]

When I saw a councillor for it they told me that my problems weren't as bad as others and I felt ashamed to be seeing her. So I don't feel I can talk to anyone.

Don't be stupid, my god I believe that she said that to you. If you are feeling 'suicidal' then how worse can it get??? I only know how it feels to feel that low xxx Could you go back to your dr's and tell them that your counselling is not working? Are you on any medication for your depression?

 

[Juicyj]

Morning Meg,

Hope you are feeling better today, sometimes a good night's sleep can help.

Please call them today, be honest with them and refer to your past experience too, if you can take yourself off for a walk and get some exercise. I know it's hard but now you have posted you have shared your feelings with others try and feel a burden has lifted, many here know exactly what you are going though so you are not alone, thinking of you and hoping your GP visit will be positive x

 

[Prem51]

@Meghalton I hope you are feeling better today. I understand how you feel. I have had several episodes of depression and would go to bed praying that I would die in my sleep and not have to face another day. But it is an illness too, and one which can be overcome. I hope you can get to see your GP today. Sometimes it can be difficult to get a GP appointment immediately, but if you explain to the receptionist that you are having suicidal thought they should give you an emergency appointment. Or if not you can go to hospital A&E, though you might have to wait hours there to see a doctor.

I once did feel that bad, and rang my GP surgery in the morning and got an emergency appointment at the end of the morning surgery appointments, and was told to go to A&E if I felt that I was going to attempt suicide. I rang the Samaritans and it helped to talk to someone. By the time my appointment was approaching I felt better and rang and cancelled it.
I know it sounds like a cliché, but things will get better. The sun will shine for you again. Just hold on and get help. We are all here for you.

 

[Prem51]

@Meghalton I see you are online, so will add that you also need to recognise how you might affect others too. Your boyfriend, family and friends love and care about you, and would be devastated if you weren't there anymore.
Two of my brothers took their own lives, and it has had a lasting effect on all of us who were close to them. I know when you are feeling that bad you feel that people will get over it and will be better off without you. But they don't get over it and will always miss you and feel guilt that maybe they could have done something more. You can't do that to them.

 

[Meghalton]

Hello everyone. I got up this morning and dealt with my diabetes... Which is something at least. I am still feeling very low, but I see hope as I have rung the doctors. @Prem51- I do understand what you say about others but I am also finding it hard to think about that. Thank you to everyone for your help, I have taken it all on board. Although I am not "fixed" I am feeling supported xx

 

[Brillpaul]

What good news Meghalton. Glad you took the advise of seeing a doctor and I wish you well in your battle.

 

[Alzebra]

Hello everyone. I got up this morning and dealt with my diabetes... Which is something at least.

Quite a big something actually! I'm so pleased to hear that you've taken your insulin and made an appt to see your GP, those things are really important and can seem impossible to face at times. You're a brave lady Meg, and an asset to our community here, keep in touch

 

[Prem51]

Well done @Meghalton. Just take things one day at a time, even one hour at a time. Things will get better, and when they do you will wonder why you felt so bad.

 

[Dillinger]

Sorry to hear this @Meghalton I think the following letter from Stephen Fry is really beautifully put, I hope you can take a little solace from it:

http://www.lettersofnote.com/2009/10/it-will-be-sunny-one-day.html

Best

Dillinger

 

[kazC]

Fantastic that you have an appointment with your GP. Never, ever feel that you are wasting their time. Be totally honest, they want to help. I suffered severe depression 6 years ago, the GP urged me never to wait to see them again. Had suicidal thoughts and wasn't functioning at all. Have since come off meds - with the right support you can more than get through this.

Less said about your counsellor, the better.............. Though, if you get someone good, it makes a huge difference. Ask at your GP appointment. Not sure where you are based, but if in South London, I have a great contact.

Depression is a lonely place. I used to think that was a cliche (too many movies?), but hit me that it wasn't. Just know that others are waiting to cheer you over the finish line. Us on here included.

Look after yourself - and please take the insulin. Every injection and blood test is an achievement.

Karen

 

[Lynz84]

Sorry to hear this @Meghalton I think the following letter from Stephen Fry is really beautifully put, I hope you can take a little solace from it:

http://www.lettersofnote.com/2009/10/it-will-be-sunny-one-day.html

Best

Dillinger

Dilinger that letter you posted the link about was very touching!!

 

[Juicyj]

Beautiful letter @Dillinger - resonates on so many levels.

Hope today was a good day Meg and you can see a ray of light x

 

[Ilya83]

I am sick of this world, sick of people....

Totally agree with you. Feel totally the same (handshake)

 

[Vanessa_M]

I am sick of this world, sick of people that make life ****. I have had depression for such a long time and don't want to be here anymore. I know that diabetes is affecting me and one day it will cause major problems in my life. I'm sick of diabetes and having to cope with it. I don't want to do any injections or blood pricks again, so from this moment I have decided to stop. Why carry on when it will kill you anyway.

Hi Meghalton!!

Hope you are feeling better today!! And hope you have decided to start taking your insulin again!! NEVER feel like you are better off dead ever! Life can and will get better with diabetes, I understand exactly how you feel and i bet every other member on here does. I suffer with depression too!! And it's horrible diabetes is a constant battle as it is without the added battle with depression too!! I hope you have been given medication for your depression and that it is working, but trust me live life to the full!! Don't let diabetes control you!! You control it!! There are gonna be days when we feel low but if we all help one another and give support then everything will slowly get better!! I have been here before and I know how horrible it is!! Just know you are not alone!!

 

[janiebcarder]

I am sick of this world, sick of people that make life ****. I have had depression for such a long time and don't want to be here anymore. I know that diabetes is affecting me and one day it will cause major problems in my life. I'm sick of diabetes and having to cope with it. I don't want to do any injections or blood pricks again, so from this moment I have decided to stop. Why carry on when it will kill you anyway.

Please no,,,,suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem....you matter so much in this world.....we need you