Hellow good people, hope you all doing fine....how do your family members react towards you and diabetes, are they comfortable around you or are they comfortable to talk about the condition in your presence.....?
Family reaction
- Thread starter Tsitsi2010
- Start Date
My family talk about it too much! Very comfortable and supportive but sometimes it's a bit stressful having 5 different people ask you how your blood sugars are! Especially if they are all over the place because sometimes they're disappointment makes me feel like it's my fault when realistically some days my blood sugars will go crazy for no reason!
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PseudoBob77
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- Type of diabetes
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Now that would really annoy me, 5 people asking! Then showing dissapointment, what the hell, are they the diabetes police. They need to be supportive with constructive comments.
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As for me, my family has never talked much about diabetes, they felt sorry for me instead of supporting me and as a result I have shy-Ed away from telling people I have diabetes. The only person who is comfortable to talk to me about it is my hubby, since day one, I remember being afraid to tell him about my condition instead I suggested we break up bcz I was worried on how he was gonna react considering my past experiences.
He has been 100% supportive, after telling him (he was a boyfriend at that time) he was like , I dnt know much about diabetes , please educate me more so I know how to go about it. Within a week-month he had gathered so much information, I saw him do something that I never saw my family do since my diagnosis , he used to inject me, which made me feel really good and appreciated, but also made me wonder why didn't I get this kind of treatment and acceptance from my own blood? My sisters would look away, hide their faces and tell me they are scared of needles and stuff, I am the only one with the beast in the family, it was reaaaally hard for me.
I used to ask myself how would they react if they wake up one day and were told they are diabetic ? (Well not that I wished that for them)
He has been 100% supportive, after telling him (he was a boyfriend at that time) he was like , I dnt know much about diabetes , please educate me more so I know how to go about it. Within a week-month he had gathered so much information, I saw him do something that I never saw my family do since my diagnosis , he used to inject me, which made me feel really good and appreciated, but also made me wonder why didn't I get this kind of treatment and acceptance from my own blood? My sisters would look away, hide their faces and tell me they are scared of needles and stuff, I am the only one with the beast in the family, it was reaaaally hard for me.
I used to ask myself how would they react if they wake up one day and were told they are diabetic ? (Well not that I wished that for them)
ElkBond
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- Type of diabetes
- Type 1
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My family talk about it, usually the first things after "how are you?'. My mother was a nurse so she knows a fair deal about the up and downs of it all, in fact has calmed me down when my levels have been in the extremes. My dad asks me but doesn't really know much about the goings on of it all, which is fine. My brother has my glucose alerts (G5) to his phone and he texts me when it is in the extremes just to let me know. It's nice that he has taken an interest. My partner found the same time as me, and has been awesome with it all.
Unfortunately its has such a stigma due to the press (usually the Sun/ Daily Mail). But families shoudlnt shy away from it. Although, maybe @Tsitsi2010, is there a chance of guilt (not required of course) in the family as T1 can be genetic so they are in slight denial? I know this was one of my parents first thoughts. Maybe this has rubbed off on your sisters as well as they aren't used to talking about it?
Unfortunately its has such a stigma due to the press (usually the Sun/ Daily Mail). But families shoudlnt shy away from it. Although, maybe @Tsitsi2010, is there a chance of guilt (not required of course) in the family as T1 can be genetic so they are in slight denial? I know this was one of my parents first thoughts. Maybe this has rubbed off on your sisters as well as they aren't used to talking about it?
Bic
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- Type of diabetes
- Type 1
I am in my fifties so 'my family' means three different things.: the family I was born in, my own family (my hubby and me) and my in-laws and relatives.
The family I was born in did not talk much about diabetes because at the time when my younger sister (first) and I (several years later) were diagnosed, she at 15 and me at 20, there was a lot of stigma on the condition. My parents worried about our health and tried to make things easier, but I think they also felt an unreasonable sense of guilt. As for my mother, she never got to fully understand what type 1 diabetes was and was always convinced that all the blame was to be put on sugar consumption, even though both my sister and me were never in the habit of eating a lot of sweets (my father was, though; and he was not diabetic). My father, on the other hand, did not know much about T1 daily management, so he would frown upon the occasional serving of dessert or a shot taken at what he thought to be the 'wrong' time. On the whole, they were over anxious, showed not much respect for our privacy and didn't make many efforts to learn about the changes in daily management. So we found no great support, psychologically speaking, though we got all the help they could give regarding diet and the time of meals, and hypos, of course.
My hubby is supportive… within limits. He couldn't tell the difference between T1 and T2, nor is he interested enough to google it up (which makes me feel rather lonely, I must say). But he can tell when I have a low even before I realize it, and he knows how to be of help in an emergency. Several years ago he would not eat the same healthy diet I stick to for a king's ransom, but now (having some pounds to lose) he does, so I don't have to fix separate meals for the two of us any more (good riddance!).
Some of my in-laws are doctors and what is really good with them is, that they can tell what they do know about T1 from what they don't. That surely make things easier, for they trust my choices and let me alone.
The rest of the family, though (distant relatives and other in-laws) are an absolute nightmare, period.
Summing up: not much help from families, at least in my experience…
The family I was born in did not talk much about diabetes because at the time when my younger sister (first) and I (several years later) were diagnosed, she at 15 and me at 20, there was a lot of stigma on the condition. My parents worried about our health and tried to make things easier, but I think they also felt an unreasonable sense of guilt. As for my mother, she never got to fully understand what type 1 diabetes was and was always convinced that all the blame was to be put on sugar consumption, even though both my sister and me were never in the habit of eating a lot of sweets (my father was, though; and he was not diabetic). My father, on the other hand, did not know much about T1 daily management, so he would frown upon the occasional serving of dessert or a shot taken at what he thought to be the 'wrong' time. On the whole, they were over anxious, showed not much respect for our privacy and didn't make many efforts to learn about the changes in daily management. So we found no great support, psychologically speaking, though we got all the help they could give regarding diet and the time of meals, and hypos, of course.
My hubby is supportive… within limits. He couldn't tell the difference between T1 and T2, nor is he interested enough to google it up (which makes me feel rather lonely, I must say). But he can tell when I have a low even before I realize it, and he knows how to be of help in an emergency. Several years ago he would not eat the same healthy diet I stick to for a king's ransom, but now (having some pounds to lose) he does, so I don't have to fix separate meals for the two of us any more (good riddance!).
Some of my in-laws are doctors and what is really good with them is, that they can tell what they do know about T1 from what they don't. That surely make things easier, for they trust my choices and let me alone.
The rest of the family, though (distant relatives and other in-laws) are an absolute nightmare, period.
Summing up: not much help from families, at least in my experience…
Kristin251
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I used to cook separate meals for me and then the hubby and kids. I also have digestive issues so I am really strict. One night they made me so angry that I yelled at them all that I was the one with diabetes and a sick stomach so why am I in charge of all their food. The shopping, chopping, cooking cleaning eats.. I was around food all day long. I told them to be their own. They are perfectly capable ( kids were certainly old enough when this happened) I hated meals time and being around it all. I just wanted some protein and a salad and I was cooking all these intense dishes. Well I did continue to cook but much simpler. Kids moved out and hubby makes his own. He has a huge salad and tops it with protein. I still cook and freeze tons of different proteins for his lunches and dinners. He is very good about not needing carbs and junk in the house but when we go out he has no problem stuffing his face with junk. Oh well, I can deal with that. He understand type 1 & 2 as I have had both but has been educated through me. He never googles it like I would if it were him. All in all he listens to me all the time so I appreciate that
Brother, understand best he can and supportive
Mother, no clue but means well. Supportive as she can be
Dad, not clueless but not educated either. Supportive I know what I'm doing
I think they all feel sorry for me but what else can they feel. They know NOW it wasn't my fault so that's good. They thought I had an eating disorder because I got so thin. Still a bit of resentment there.
Brother, understand best he can and supportive
Mother, no clue but means well. Supportive as she can be
Dad, not clueless but not educated either. Supportive I know what I'm doing
I think they all feel sorry for me but what else can they feel. They know NOW it wasn't my fault so that's good. They thought I had an eating disorder because I got so thin. Still a bit of resentment there.
Kristin251
Expert
- Messages
- 5,334
- Type of diabetes
- LADA
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- Insulin
I used to cook separate meals for me and then the hubby and kids. I also have digestive issues so I am really strict. One night they made me so angry that I yelled at them all that I was the one with diabetes and a sick stomach so why am I in charge of all their food. The shopping, chopping, cooking cleaning eats.. I was around food all day long. I told them to be their own. They are perfectly capable ( kids were certainly old enough when this happened) I hated meals time and being around it all. I just wanted some protein and a salad and I was cooking all these intense dishes. Well I did continue to cook but much simpler. Kids moved out and hubby makes his own. He has a huge salad and tops it with protein. I still cook and freeze tons of different proteins for his lunches and dinners. He is very good about not needing carbs and junk in the house but when we go out he has no problem stuffing his face with junk. Oh well, I can deal with that. He understand type 1 & 2 as I have had both but has been educated through me. He never googles it like I would if it were him. All in all he listens to me all the time so I appreciate that
Brother, understand best he can and supportive
Mother, no clue but means well. Supportive as she can be
Dad, not clueless but not educated either. Supportive I know what I'm doing
I think they all feel sorry for me but what else can they feel. They know NOW it wasn't my fault so that's good. They thought I had an eating disorder because I got so thin. Still a bit of resentment there.
Brother, understand best he can and supportive
Mother, no clue but means well. Supportive as she can be
Dad, not clueless but not educated either. Supportive I know what I'm doing
I think they all feel sorry for me but what else can they feel. They know NOW it wasn't my fault so that's good. They thought I had an eating disorder because I got so thin. Still a bit of resentment there.
- Messages
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I was diagnosed at 18, Mam was great and fussed on as Mothers do but my Father just said don't worry as they'll likely be a cure in 10 years time, that was all he ever said about it.
My family now don't really mention my diabetes as they know that's the way I like it, I just like to get on with life with little fuss and manage quite well without my family's input, the only time that I've got my wife involved with my diabetes was when I changed over to a pump.
As my parents took care of my diabetes for about 7 years (I was diagnosed at 18 months) they've always had a lot of interest (which has its pros and cons) but generally are quite good and giving me support and suggestions for what to do if things aren't going to plan. My sister is great mainly as she saw me hypo once and was so concerned about it happening again, and it really in tune knowing when something is slightly off.
My uncle (no blood relation) also has type 1 but lives in Sweden so whenever he gets a change in his treatment or learns about new updates to managing diabetes he will send me information, which is super useful.
My boyfriend takes a lot of interest, and is really supportive on a day to day basis (we had only been dating a month when he unveiled a stash of orange juice cartons in his flat in case I have a hypo as he doesn't eat carbs!)
My friends are always curious about it and how my life affects my blood sugar control.
I find because I have been so open with people they aren't afraid to ask me questions and therefore know a fair bit and can help me out if necessary
My uncle (no blood relation) also has type 1 but lives in Sweden so whenever he gets a change in his treatment or learns about new updates to managing diabetes he will send me information, which is super useful.
My boyfriend takes a lot of interest, and is really supportive on a day to day basis (we had only been dating a month when he unveiled a stash of orange juice cartons in his flat in case I have a hypo as he doesn't eat carbs!)
My friends are always curious about it and how my life affects my blood sugar control.
I find because I have been so open with people they aren't afraid to ask me questions and therefore know a fair bit and can help me out if necessary
I hate it when people (family)feel sorry for me, they rather avoid talking about it or cry all the time. If someone one talks about diabetes in my presence they would rather remain silent nor add a comment, then change the topic.
Unfortunately my mum is no more, I feel like she is that one person who was gonna walk this journey with me. I was diagonised at 22.
Unfortunately my mum is no more, I feel like she is that one person who was gonna walk this journey with me. I was diagonised at 22.
I am sure she could have been supportive other than cry all the time feeling sorry for me or avoiding the talks about it.
I even hate it when they think I am not supposed to be on my own
I even hate it when they think I am not supposed to be on my own
Why don't you sit them down and have a big diabetes talk? Tell them that you want support and not pity, explain what diabetes means to you and what you want from them? My friend who got diagnosed at 18 felt her family treading on eggshells around the topic, after a year or two of this she sat them down, explained her life with diabetes and said it made things a lot easier.
Thank you, that might actually work, will organize a get-together and detail everything to them.
Main thing I found was that people often have loads of questions but no idea how to comfortably broach the subject. Hope it goes well!
Pollyg3
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- Type of diabetes
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My mother thinks I am dieting even though I have said diabetic she told me on Sunday it will do u no good not eating properly after refusing a roast potato for the fifth time . My husband on the other hand bought me some 85 percent chocolate n my 9 year old daughter has been eating similar foods as me but having potatoes with it . My mum herself was anorexic so thus the dieting
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A great question and interesting to see all the different responses.
I was diagnosed at 38 so a bit different for how my family reacted to it. My mother took lots of convincing that Type 1 and Type 2 are different and that there is no way I will get off of insulin. Just saw her a couple of weekends ago and she commented when I injected before lunch that "do you really have to do that?". Nah... I just like poking myself with sharp objects before I eat...
My grandparents who I grew up with are worried about me losing a limb or something because of their relatives or friends who had type 2 and didn't look after it. They mean well but the horror stories do nothing to help me.
Hubby and my kids (13 and 15 now) have been great and very supportive. They pay attention to carbs and when hubby cooks, he will give me a carb breakdown for dosing.
My mother has to be the biggest frustration so I have just stopped talking to her about it. When she asks how it is going, she gets the "just fine" as it's too much to argue with her.
I was diagnosed at 38 so a bit different for how my family reacted to it. My mother took lots of convincing that Type 1 and Type 2 are different and that there is no way I will get off of insulin. Just saw her a couple of weekends ago and she commented when I injected before lunch that "do you really have to do that?". Nah... I just like poking myself with sharp objects before I eat...
My grandparents who I grew up with are worried about me losing a limb or something because of their relatives or friends who had type 2 and didn't look after it. They mean well but the horror stories do nothing to help me.
Hubby and my kids (13 and 15 now) have been great and very supportive. They pay attention to carbs and when hubby cooks, he will give me a carb breakdown for dosing.
My mother has to be the biggest frustration so I have just stopped talking to her about it. When she asks how it is going, she gets the "just fine" as it's too much to argue with her.
