@Miko I recognise your frustration. And I feel for you. I felt like this too, and heck, I still have days - more than days - and over 30 years on from my own diagnosis - when I still DO feel like this.
It's
okay that you feel like this today, really it is. We are all allowed to have bad days - not just diabetes, I mean, but all that other stuff like sleeping through the alarm, running out of teabags when all you want in the world is a cup of tea, missing the bus, someone jumping the queue at the petrol station, a colleague at work or a friend at school saying something really mean just because they feel like it. And other things too. Having a bad day is
allowed, and so is feeling like this. It's true. We wouldn't be human otherwise, would we?
Right? But with your diabetes, it's important to know that
you will not always feel like this. As you and your family - because they are dealing with it too, in a different way - get used to having diabetes in your lives, you will find that you will gradually begin to feel more positive. That is, I assure you, inevitable. And a good thing too.
Welcome to the forum. Take on board all the information out there, and use it in a way that works for you. It will be trial and error, and there will be frustrations on the way, believe me. But there is absolutely no reason why you can't take as firm a grip on this wheel of handling diabetes as you can. You are strong. You can DO this.
Give yourself a break, and do the best you can. Get advice from your DSN, do lots of testing (have you heard of the Freestyle Libre?), seek comfort from parents and friends, including the many friends you will find on here.
We are all different, and there is no such thing as perfection - or indeed, at the moment, a cure. But there are many, many research scientists, drug companies, focus group participants, product testers and healthcare professionals all working very, very hard to kick this ball into touch. That's true too.
Until there IS a cure, we can all just do the best we can. Even though it's hard, and even though at 1.08am today it perhaps felt to you to be impossible.
Chin up. One day at a time. Yes, it's hard. But take a deep breath and tell yourself that you have the power to deal with this.
Trust me. You CAN.
Love Snapsy