The SCREAM thread

Diamum5972

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I don't need to scream very often but today I do - my older brother is epileptic with severe memory loss and learning difficulties. He's been claiming ESA for a couple of years and not long ago he had an assessment at a DWP assessment centre. We got the results back this morning and they've stopped his ESA! The examiner ruled that he is capable of work because he only has a fit on average once a month and he is able to use his smartphone to remind him of appointments! Aaaaaargh!!!! Now we have to go through the rigmarole of applying for JSA :(
 
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Sable_Jan

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I don't need to scream very often but today I do - my older brother is epileptic with severe memory loss and learning difficulties. He's been claiming ESA for a couple of years and not long ago he had an assessment at a DWP assessment centre. We got the results back this morning and they've stopped his ESA! The examiner ruled that he is capable of work because he only has a fit on average once a month and he is able to use his smartphone to remind him of appointments! Aaaaaargh!!!! Now we have to go through the rigmarole of applying for JSA :(
Go to appeal first. I did with mobility allowance....total reversal from nothing to the full top whack...I've heard of quite a few people having decisions totally reversed on appeal. My friend was refused something similar after having had it for years but cos they changed the system and a new benefit they reassessed gave her nowt. She rang to ask about how to appeal cos she's not great with forms. Her COPD was so bad she could barely talk. Lady on phone reversed it there and then.
Get your brother to GP for new assessment there cos of he's not been to doctor for a while they assume you are OK or to specialist if he's under one. I was asked why doctor knew so little about my case.. erm, cos I've been under specialist!! Get as much current medical support as you can and if possible letters from everyone he sees. My son has ankylosing spondylitis and had his benefits stopped until doctor wrote to them
 

Diamum5972

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,841
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
Dislikes
Prejudiced people (my son has learning difficulties) and not being able to find a job
Go to appeal first. I did with mobility allowance....total reversal from nothing to the full top whack...I've heard of quite a few people having decisions totally reversed on appeal. My friend was refused something similar after having had it for years but cos they changed the system and a new benefit they reassessed gave her nowt. She rang to ask about how to appeal cos she's not great with forms. Her COPD was so bad she could barely talk. Lady on phone reversed it there and then.
Get your brother to GP for new assessment there cos of he's not been to doctor for a while they assume you are OK or to specialist if he's under one. I was asked why doctor knew so little about my case.. erm, cos I've been under specialist!! Get as much current medical support as you can and if possible letters from everyone he sees. My son has ankylosing spondylitis and had his benefits stopped until doctor wrote to them
Thanks for your reply, it's a big help. We tried ringing the number on the letter but were put on hold for 20 minutes before we gave up so we're going to try again tomorrow. It's so frustrating, stress is one of the biggest causes of his fits and you can imagine the effect this is having on him. I need to take him to the doctor anyway, he's been having problems with his hearing so I'll mention this when we go. My brother is a typical bloke, he hates going to the doctor so if we can kill two birds with one stone that would be great :)
 
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debrasue

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Yes I agree, that is my aim. Have pushed social services into chasing mental health team as I am really not convinced that it is all down to a UTI as she is now completely lucid & does things like this all the time. I am so confused by it all, I just know her behaviours are completely out there, honestly if I wrote a book people wouldn't believe it. x
UTIs can cause some of the behaviour you mention, but this sounds like classic early-stage Alzheimer's to me (my mother-in-law suffered from it). If that's the case, you have my sympathy. Actually, you have my sympathy anyway - this is a nightmare scenario to try and deal with, particularly when it involves someone you are so close to. Hugs x
 
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Trachet

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Thanks for your reply, it's a big help. We tried ringing the number on the letter but were put on hold for 20 minutes before we gave up so we're going to try again tomorrow. It's so frustrating, stress is one of the biggest causes of his fits and you can imagine the effect this is having on him. I need to take him to the doctor anyway, he's been having problems with his hearing so I'll mention this when we go. My brother is a typical bloke, he hates going to the doctor so if we can kill two birds with one stone that would be great :)
Hi, I never had DLA but since becoming sight impaired I was allowed to apply for PIP. I didn't get it as I am too independent! What people had said to me is that I needed to come across as weak as possible, to highlight all the difficulties I have. I need to show them all the problems I am having. Typical, the evening of the interview I burnt my arm whilst cooking as I didn't see the edge of the pan.
 
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linnyb

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People who are cruel to people or animals.
UTIs can cause some of the behaviour you mention, but this sounds like classic early-stage Alzheimer's to me (my mother-in-law suffered from it). If that's the case, you have my sympathy. Actually, you have my sympathy anyway - this is a nightmare scenario to try and deal with, particularly when it involves someone you are so close to. Hugs x
Hi thanks for your reply. According to gp my mum has been tested for alzheimer's/dementia & the results show her clear of both, in her words she "has no concerns about my mum", meanwhile we are in a living hell. I know you are absolutely right about UTI's but lots of these behaviours are happening when there are no infections. She is lucid & calm one minute but barrackading herself in the house saying there are people after her in the next. We are all hugely concerned as you can imagine. The carers are in agreement with us but social services, the gp & mental health teams refuse to act on the issue. Even the poor neighbours have had enough, she is waking them in the middle of the night & disturbing them throughout the day with stories I wouldn't have the imagination to make up. I am sure she is hallucinating or having psychotic episodes, we want to help but whenever she sees gp/social services she has the ability to come across completely lucid. The carers are unsure if some of the behaviours are attention seeking but believe like us it is a mental health issue despite the level of MH meds she is on. I am at a loss!
 
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Sable_Jan

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Hi thanks for your reply. According to gp my mum has been tested for alzheimer's/dementia & the results show her clear of both, in her words she "has no concerns about my mum", meanwhile we are in a living hell. I know you are absolutely right about UTI's but lots of these behaviours are happening when there are no infections. She is lucid & calm one minute but barrackading herself in the house saying there are people after her in the next. We are all hugely concerned as you can imagine. The carers are in agreement with us but social services, the gp & mental health teams refuse to act on the issue. Even the poor neighbours have had enough, she is waking them in the middle of the night & disturbing them throughout the day with stories I wouldn't have the imagination to make up. I am sure she is hallucinating or having psychotic episodes, we want to help but whenever she sees gp/social services she has the ability to come across completely lucid. The carers are unsure if some of the behaviours are attention seeking but believe like us it is a mental health issue despite the level of MH meds she is on. I am at a loss!
Note down the dates and times, witnesses and their contact details and use them as evidence....
 
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catherinecherub

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Hi thanks for your reply. According to gp my mum has been tested for alzheimer's/dementia & the results show her clear of both, in her words she "has no concerns about my mum", meanwhile we are in a living hell. I know you are absolutely right about UTI's but lots of these behaviours are happening when there are no infections. She is lucid & calm one minute but barrackading herself in the house saying there are people after her in the next. We are all hugely concerned as you can imagine. The carers are in agreement with us but social services, the gp & mental health teams refuse to act on the issue. Even the poor neighbours have had enough, she is waking them in the middle of the night & disturbing them throughout the day with stories I wouldn't have the imagination to make up. I am sure she is hallucinating or having psychotic episodes, we want to help but whenever she sees gp/social services she has the ability to come across completely lucid. The carers are unsure if some of the behaviours are attention seeking but believe like us it is a mental health issue despite the level of MH meds she is on. I am at a loss!
Has anyone reviewed her medication? If you know all the names and doses you could try yourself on a drug reaction website to see if there are some that are contra-indicated with others.
She could be having a toxic reaction to the meds that she is on.
Have you contacted Citizen's Advice , they may be able to do something or put you in touch with someone who can.
 
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debrasue

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Hi thanks for your reply. According to gp my mum has been tested for alzheimer's/dementia & the results show her clear of both, in her words she "has no concerns about my mum", meanwhile we are in a living hell. I know you are absolutely right about UTI's but lots of these behaviours are happening when there are no infections. She is lucid & calm one minute but barrackading herself in the house saying there are people after her in the next. We are all hugely concerned as you can imagine. The carers are in agreement with us but social services, the gp & mental health teams refuse to act on the issue. Even the poor neighbours have had enough, she is waking them in the middle of the night & disturbing them throughout the day with stories I wouldn't have the imagination to make up. I am sure she is hallucinating or having psychotic episodes, we want to help but whenever she sees gp/social services she has the ability to come across completely lucid. The carers are unsure if some of the behaviours are attention seeking but believe like us it is a mental health issue despite the level of MH meds she is on. I am at a loss!
A nightmare scenario indeed. Would it be worth videoing some of her more irrational behaviour to show the mental health team what you're up against?
Hugs x
 
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This hard, not just a scream, but hurting.
I have grandchildren I haven't seen for a few years, because of a marriage break up, 2 girls and a boy, my grandson age 10.
Recently, my son received a posted letter from social services and on the same day, a hand delivered one. When my son phoned me and was obviously in distress because he needed to meet me asap and show me the letters. When I read them I was choked, my 10 year old grandson ( who I haven't seen for 6 years) at the hands of his mothers partner and the mother herself ( who is still with the man) has been taken away and is in a secure unit, because he is so disturbed. Apparently my grandson has been in and out of foster homes, and social services have been involved since 2012. Tomorrow morning ,my son has a hearing at Reading court, so we, my teen and I are going with him and Ed has been great and is taking us in his car about 7.30am. I have been coping pretty well, trying to be positive for my son and grandson, but today, this afternoon, has been so upsetting and I am so angry now that these monsters have done this to a little boy, my own flesh and blood, for years. I don't know if the mother will be attending tomorrow, but my son said he is just going to ignore her as though she isn't there. My son has managed to get a solicitor as he wants to get custody or some contact, the solicitor will be attending as well and he sounds very positive about my son's case and he wants to sue social services.
I bought my grandson a teddy dog and a thinking of you card, from all his family in my town, to show him we care for him, love him and are thinking of him <3 but I haven't written in the card yet, I am finding it difficult. I just want to get in their faces and scream, scream, scream at them ....................... :bigtears:
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Trachet

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This hard, not just a scream, but hurting.
I have grandchildren I haven't seen for a few years, because of a marriage break up, 2 girls and a boy, my grandson age 10.
Recently, my son received a posted letter from social services and on the same day, a hand delivered one. When my son phoned me and was obviously in distress because he needed to meet me asap and show me the letters. When I read them I was choked, my 10 year old grandson ( who I haven't seen for 6 years) at the hands of his mothers partner and the mother herself ( who is still with the man) has been taken away and is in a secure unit, because he is so disturbed. Apparently my grandson has been in and out of foster homes, and social services have been involved since 2012. Tomorrow morning ,my son has a hearing at Reading court, so we, my teen and I are going with him and Ed has been great and is taking us in his car about 7.30am. I have been coping pretty well, trying to be positive for my son and grandson, but today, this afternoon, has been so upsetting and I am so angry now that these monsters have done this to a little boy, my own flesh and blood, for years. I don't know if the mother will be attending tomorrow, but my son said he is just going to ignore her as though she isn't there. My son has managed to get a solicitor as he wants to get custody or some contact, the solicitor will be attending as well and he sounds very positive about my son's case and he wants to sue social services.
I bought my grandson a teddy dog and a thinking of you card, from all his family in my town, to show him we care for him, love him and are thinking of him <3 but I haven't written in the card yet, I am finding it difficult. I just want to get in their faces and scream, scream, scream at them ....................... :bigtears:
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That is so awful. My heart bleeds for you and your family. I just hope that someone shows some common sense tomorrow. It has made me angry for your grandson. I just hope things get sorted for the better. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. xxx
 
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Sable_Jan

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This hard, not just a scream, but hurting.
I have grandchildren I haven't seen for a few years, because of a marriage break up, 2 girls and a boy, my grandson age 10.
Recently, my son received a posted letter from social services and on the same day, a hand delivered one. When my son phoned me and was obviously in distress because he needed to meet me asap and show me the letters. When I read them I was choked, my 10 year old grandson ( who I haven't seen for 6 years) at the hands of his mothers partner and the mother herself ( who is still with the man) has been taken away and is in a secure unit, because he is so disturbed. Apparently my grandson has been in and out of foster homes, and social services have been involved since 2012. Tomorrow morning ,my son has a hearing at Reading court, so we, my teen and I are going with him and Ed has been great and is taking us in his car about 7.30am. I have been coping pretty well, trying to be positive for my son and grandson, but today, this afternoon, has been so upsetting and I am so angry now that these monsters have done this to a little boy, my own flesh and blood, for years. I don't know if the mother will be attending tomorrow, but my son said he is just going to ignore her as though she isn't there. My son has managed to get a solicitor as he wants to get custody or some contact, the solicitor will be attending as well and he sounds very positive about my son's case and he wants to sue social services.
I bought my grandson a teddy dog and a thinking of you card, from all his family in my town, to show him we care for him, love him and are thinking of him <3 but I haven't written in the card yet, I am finding it difficult. I just want to get in their faces and scream, scream, scream at them ....................... :bigtears:
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Big hugs
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linnyb

Well-Known Member
Messages
119
Type of diabetes
Type 1
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Insulin
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Diabetes!
People who are cruel to people or animals.
This hard, not just a scream, but hurting.
I have grandchildren I haven't seen for a few years, because of a marriage break up, 2 girls and a boy, my grandson age 10.
Recently, my son received a posted letter from social services and on the same day, a hand delivered one. When my son phoned me and was obviously in distress because he needed to meet me asap and show me the letters. When I read them I was choked, my 10 year old grandson ( who I haven't seen for 6 years) at the hands of his mothers partner and the mother herself ( who is still with the man) has been taken away and is in a secure unit, because he is so disturbed. Apparently my grandson has been in and out of foster homes, and social services have been involved since 2012. Tomorrow morning ,my son has a hearing at Reading court, so we, my teen and I are going with him and Ed has been great and is taking us in his car about 7.30am. I have been coping pretty well, trying to be positive for my son and grandson, but today, this afternoon, has been so upsetting and I am so angry now that these monsters have done this to a little boy, my own flesh and blood, for years. I don't know if the mother will be attending tomorrow, but my son said he is just going to ignore her as though she isn't there. My son has managed to get a solicitor as he wants to get custody or some contact, the solicitor will be attending as well and he sounds very positive about my son's case and he wants to sue social services.
I bought my grandson a teddy dog and a thinking of you card, from all his family in my town, to show him we care for him, love him and are thinking of him <3 but I haven't written in the card yet, I am finding it difficult. I just want to get in their faces and scream, scream, scream at them ....................... :bigtears:
View attachment 20024 View attachment 20025
Oh that is awful, I really feel for you. Its not the same scenario, but my brothers ex wife accused him of abusing his son. It took 13 months for him to gain access to them, police said there was no case to answer & when it went to family court the judge was fabulous & threatened to remove the children from the mother & give my brother full custody if she ever did anything like that again. The children were quite disturbed, but they weren't teens, they were younger but they have come through it & both went the following year to live with my brother permanently. It was a dreadful time, but all you can do is be there to support & help. Also make sure you remain calm at court, its really hard but don't even acknowledge her if she is there. Having a solicitor there is also really important to guide you. Hang on in there, hopefully your son will gain contact & eventually full custody. I am guessing social services will have CAMHS involved to help your grandson. There are some evil people out there & I don't understand this world.

I hope it goes as well as it can tomorrow. I think there is a hard road ahead for you all, but gaining stability & routine for him will be so important. Please keep me updated.

Sending hugs x
 
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linnyb

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Diabetes!
People who are cruel to people or animals.
A nightmare scenario indeed. Would it be worth videoing some of her more irrational behaviour to show the mental health team what you're up against?
Hugs x
Will try & do that, its a good idea - but she can be crafty!
 
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linnyb

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119
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Type 1
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Insulin
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Diabetes!
People who are cruel to people or animals.
Has anyone reviewed her medication? If you know all the names and doses you could try yourself on a drug reaction website to see if there are some that are contra-indicated with others.
She could be having a toxic reaction to the meds that she is on.
Have you contacted Citizen's Advice , they may be able to do something or put you in touch with someone who can.
Hi, yes there are numerous clashing meds, it concerns the chemist to. I have tried to discuss it many times with my mum, social worker & gp. Mum is addicted so won't give them up, gp really isn't interested & social worker won't do anything medical unless she has gp's guidance! The citizens advice is a great idea, will try them tomorrow. Thank you x
 

linnyb

Well-Known Member
Messages
119
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Dislikes
Diabetes!
People who are cruel to people or animals.
Note down the dates and times, witnesses and their contact details and use them as evidence....
I will start keeping a diary of evidence. There is such drama every day that one day merges with the next. Thanks
 
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Shar67

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@Robinredbreast huge hug and some extra to give to your grandson.
My brother had a horrendous experience with social services, his ex and the person hit hardest his daughter.
Long story that doesn't have a great ending either, but due to the experience my brother became a child advocate, he works with (usually against) social workers, I know some of the cases he has worked on and it breaks your heart to hear how people treat their own flesh and blood.
I was out shopping with him once, when a young teenager came up and asked my brother if he remembered him, my brother said of course. Called him by his name, the lad asked if he could shake his hand as his life had been completely turned around by brother's help. I was near in tears, as we walked away my brother said I hate kids. I love my brother
 
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