Type 1: Hubby won't go to docs

[sullybear]

Hi hubby been type 1 for 30 plus year he as brittle diabetes ckd stage 3 and a host of other problems he started coughing afew days ago and around his eye is swollen and leg and belly is aswell he had this before it ended with him having acute kidney failure but they managed to get them back up again with diaylis but my problem is he won't go to the doctors about it as he won't go into hospital I said it might not come to that but he won't go and today any other symptoms started back ache I just don't no what to do

 

[magsiesss]

Is there any way you could phone the GP and a nurse come round and check him out (or a GP of course) ... As he has so many things at the moment, they may well do a home visit as they can see from his records that all may not be well

Good luck

 

[Juicyj]

Hi @sullybear - I would give him 2 options, either you call an ambulance now or he goes to the GP.

From the sound of his symptoms this needs urgent medical attention and his stubbornness means it will more than likely be an ambulance if he doesn't go as soon as possible, you will just have to be firm and tell him that if he goes to the GP then he may have an option however if he get's worse you will have no other option other than to call emergency services.

 

[asparagusp]

Usually it takes a few days to get an appointment with the doctor these days. That of course depends on the surgery. You could of course ring 111. All this delays the inevitable. It sounds an emergency and ideally I would perhaps just ring for an ambulance now. Good luck.

 

[peterjones6000]

Call the ambulance, I was a bit like your hubby 'I will be ok, it will go away' my lung cancer did not go away my right lung did. If my friend had not driven me to A&E I would not be here. Phone

 

[sullybear]

Thank you all I have already had to cancel the doctors appointment because he won't go as for an ambulance he would refuse to go he knows what can happen he did this with his leg wouldn't go in had antis at home he went into dka and lost his leg I have talked to him about he he just won't listen to anything I have had to watch him slowly killing himself over the last few year as he don't do his insulin properly he sometimes goes days without doing any i did take over the insulin control but I had to stop as I was putting everthing to getting them down but he would just snack and wouldn't take insulin for it it got so stressful it made me ill

 

[tim2000s]

@sullybear, I'm sorry to hear about your issues with your husband. It does sound as though he has given up and can't be bothered anymore and I'm not sure what you can do to get him out of the slump. The least we can do is give you the support to let you know you are doing the right things. I'm not sure what else you can do.

 

[asparagusp]

Phone 111 and get them to send out a doctor, who will be able to talk with and encourage your husband. I think that's all you can do. It's extremely tough on you. Do you have a support system ie friends/relatives?

 

[samantha13]

@sullybear I'm so sad to read this. It does indeed sound like he has given up and you are backed into a corner. I'd get your gp or dsn round to talk to him as that will at least take some of the pressure off your shoulders. I really hope he comes round and gets some medical help. Please feel free to message me at any time sometimes a listening ear can help at least with your stress. Big hugs xxx

 

[azure]

Thank you all I have already had to cancel the doctors appointment because he won't go as for an ambulance he would refuse to go he knows what can happen he did this with his leg wouldn't go in had antis at home he went into dka and lost his leg I have talked to him about he he just won't listen to anything I have had to watch him slowly killing himself over the last few year as he don't do his insulin properly he sometimes goes days without doing any i did take over the insulin control but I had to stop as I was putting everthing to getting them down but he would just snack and wouldn't take insulin for it it got so stressful it made me ill

Is there anyone at all he would listen to? A trusted friend? A DSN? A favourite GP?

If I was you, I'd try asking him how he'd feel if it was the opposite way round - that he'd have to watch you hurting yourself and refusing help.

I think you should also bear in mind that sometimes when people are really ill, their decision-making ability can be impaired. Although you've had to,cancel the Dr appt, could you speak to the GP and get advice? You could tell them what's happening and see if they have any solutions.

 

[Radge21]

I would ask for a GP to pop around to you're house to see you're husband.
Hope, you get some success.

 

[Juicyj]

Hi @sullybear - did you have any joy getting your hubby there today ? I appreciate it must be a great worry for you so if you didn't get him there today that he comes round to the idea tomorrow, best wishes.

 

[sullybear]

Hi I did manage to speak to the doctor but he couldn't do much because hubby won't see him it he put a note on record I will keep trying and hope he comes round thank you all

 

[sullybear]

I hope he does but I don't hold out much hope even the kids have tried but he just won't have none of it

 

[peterjones6000]

Been thinking of you both all night has he had a change of heart yet?

 

[sullybear]

Hi no he still won't go but I still going to keep trying

 

[col101]

Think the medics are powerless when someone has the capacity to decide not to be treated. Sounds hard on you, glad you're trying to get support for yourself anyway, you deserve it.

 

[ellagy]

Is your husband depressed?

 

[sullybear]

No the doc says he not I afraid his out look is he diabetic and things are going to happen and he fine with it like he was when he lost his sight in one eye and his leg in the last 19 years we been married he never been bothered about checking his bloods or doing his insulin when I talking to him about it he just says he dont care about it and I do believe he dont

 

[peterjones6000]

I guess there has been no change in your situation, I keep trying to think of anything that could help, feeling sad for both of you is no help I know will just hope things alter soon