- Messages
- 95
- Type of diabetes
- Type 1
- Treatment type
- Insulin
I and my wife lived in a happy marriage up until the point where I got diagnosed with this disease. I remember the first time I was sent home with "DKA-high" levels and shown how to inject myself. So after I done that, I was relieved that it was so easy and painless. Fast forward a year, now I scream hitting a vein 3 times out of 4 each day. My diet is better than ever, my levels are worse! My A1C is worse than last year's. Meanwhile my beloved wife throws this at me: "I did not want to deal with you and diabetes. For fu**s sake! It is diabetes!"
...
She lives at the other end of the world. We have a lovely house close to the ocean down south, 5 dogs and kids are on their own, and I cannot be there. Her opinion about diabetes is millions of people have it and they don't make a big deal out of it. I know I don't, unless I get stressed and it affects my levels. My last doctor's visit didn't go well. I made sure to drink plenty of water like I always do, and ran my sugar a bit higher (10-12) in case I have to wait long and due to fear of hypo. As time passed by I started to feel thirsty, dry. Went into the restroom thinking I'd use the faucet because I had no other option (I drank a liter before I left home and who would have thought...). Restroom had a nauseating urine scent upon entering, and just said screw it. Went back to the hallway, sat down, and waited another 10 minutes where my heart started beating out of my chest. I had a panic attack and at that point felt severly dehydrated, and decided to get out of there asap before I faint. Drove home, measured my levels and it was 11.5. I expected to be either higher than that, or close to hypo. The reason why I told you all this is because my wife thinks that having diabetes should not affect travelling.... especially standing in lines at the airport for X hours. A total of 13 hours flight that I've went through several times by myself, but never being diabetic.
...
My wife has cancer, broken neck and a host of other conditions that make her disabled to the point where it'd be risky to have her visit me. Somewhere I understand her, but feel that downplaying my disease makes matters worse and would love to have her taking this more seriously.
I think having T1D as a man can be extremely emasculating and feminizing. It made me OCD check my levels and fear of hypos and hypers. I always try to keep my levels higher (8-12). Last year I aimed for 5-7 and it worked out well until I had an apple before dinner, or strawberries or blue berries or black berries. Sometimes it takes over 3 hours for insulin to start working. Before I could start eating my dinner meal I went down to 2.9 - 3.3. When I went a few days without checking my levels it had great effect on my mental well-being by reducing depression and anxiety.
Anyways, I lost the role of a man, and lost myself completely. Will this be my future? I so want to visit my wife and the USA again, but can't imagine going through this alone. I've always been the healthiest, athletic guy who never got sick, and now it is always me who has to excuse from the room, a conversation etc. I hate it with a passion. My greatest fear is having a hypo or DKA-close levels at the airport. I don't know what am I doing wrong? If I run my levels higher than now, then I'll get really sick. If I lower my calorie intake, then I just lay in the bed staring at the ceiling for hours without getting sleep. My levels are extremely inconsistent and have been since I got diagnosed. Sorry for making this so long-winded. Any help and guidance would be appreciated!
Thank you!
...
She lives at the other end of the world. We have a lovely house close to the ocean down south, 5 dogs and kids are on their own, and I cannot be there. Her opinion about diabetes is millions of people have it and they don't make a big deal out of it. I know I don't, unless I get stressed and it affects my levels. My last doctor's visit didn't go well. I made sure to drink plenty of water like I always do, and ran my sugar a bit higher (10-12) in case I have to wait long and due to fear of hypo. As time passed by I started to feel thirsty, dry. Went into the restroom thinking I'd use the faucet because I had no other option (I drank a liter before I left home and who would have thought...). Restroom had a nauseating urine scent upon entering, and just said screw it. Went back to the hallway, sat down, and waited another 10 minutes where my heart started beating out of my chest. I had a panic attack and at that point felt severly dehydrated, and decided to get out of there asap before I faint. Drove home, measured my levels and it was 11.5. I expected to be either higher than that, or close to hypo. The reason why I told you all this is because my wife thinks that having diabetes should not affect travelling.... especially standing in lines at the airport for X hours. A total of 13 hours flight that I've went through several times by myself, but never being diabetic.
...
My wife has cancer, broken neck and a host of other conditions that make her disabled to the point where it'd be risky to have her visit me. Somewhere I understand her, but feel that downplaying my disease makes matters worse and would love to have her taking this more seriously.
I think having T1D as a man can be extremely emasculating and feminizing. It made me OCD check my levels and fear of hypos and hypers. I always try to keep my levels higher (8-12). Last year I aimed for 5-7 and it worked out well until I had an apple before dinner, or strawberries or blue berries or black berries. Sometimes it takes over 3 hours for insulin to start working. Before I could start eating my dinner meal I went down to 2.9 - 3.3. When I went a few days without checking my levels it had great effect on my mental well-being by reducing depression and anxiety.
Anyways, I lost the role of a man, and lost myself completely. Will this be my future? I so want to visit my wife and the USA again, but can't imagine going through this alone. I've always been the healthiest, athletic guy who never got sick, and now it is always me who has to excuse from the room, a conversation etc. I hate it with a passion. My greatest fear is having a hypo or DKA-close levels at the airport. I don't know what am I doing wrong? If I run my levels higher than now, then I'll get really sick. If I lower my calorie intake, then I just lay in the bed staring at the ceiling for hours without getting sleep. My levels are extremely inconsistent and have been since I got diagnosed. Sorry for making this so long-winded. Any help and guidance would be appreciated!
Thank you!