Type 1 and Marital problems

azure

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Why not aim for a happy medium @Steve14 ? Moderate carbs not excessive or very low.

Could you speak to a DSN or dietician and get advice, then tell your wife you have a plan and will be working hard to improve things.
 
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serenity648

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I hate to bother you all again. She wants to restrict me to eating fruit, veggies, meat and fish. Period. No wheat, nothing. Granted that I do eat excessive carbs, but believe me the first thing I did after diagnosis is to try to clean up my diet. I have made some strict restrictions, but got stuck there for a long time. Whenever I try to cut my daily calories down by a margin, I end up lying on my bed and go 2 hours staring at the ceiling bursting with energy.... and when I do manage to fall asleep, then I'll wake up feeling like people were beating me in my sleep. Considering how much she knows about nutrition it was a shocker to see my wife give me such an ultimatum. How on earth could I cut down my calories? Even if I lower my insulin dosage I still have to ingest my daily requirements. Thank you!

you can eat veggies, meat and fish without cutting calories. You can low carb without feeling hungry and cutting calories. There are others on here who can help you with more info. Do you mean diabetes is feminizing in that your feel your emotions are out of control?
 
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Resurgam

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Remember the six 'P's - prior preparation prevents p*** poor performance.
Go out with what you might need - a grab bag, a box in the car, enough to cover unplanned delays. Don't be afraid to acquire what you need - if the bathroom smells dirty go to the receptionist and have her bring water - there is usually some way to get water, though you might feel better about drinking it if you have a bottle to be filled up - and you might get more if you hand over a litre bottle than have to accept a half cup full.
I eat according to Atkins, and there is nothing to concern yourself about having to face low calorie intake.


Edited by a mod as the OP is Type 1 and on insulin
 
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Jaylee

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I hate to bother you all again. She wants to restrict me to eating fruit, veggies, meat and fish. Period. No wheat, nothing. Granted that I do eat excessive carbs, but believe me the first thing I did after diagnosis is to try to clean up my diet. I have made some strict restrictions, but got stuck there for a long time. Whenever I try to cut my daily calories down by a margin, I end up lying on my bed and go 2 hours staring at the ceiling bursting with energy.... and when I do manage to fall asleep, then I'll wake up feeling like people were beating me in my sleep. Considering how much she knows about nutrition it was a shocker to see my wife give me such an ultimatum. How on earth could I cut down my calories? Even if I lower my insulin dosage I still have to ingest my daily requirements. Thank you!

Your wife ain't far wrong.. (I like the sound of this woman.) Though some tropical fruits are like eating candy.. "Natural sugar."
I've been T1 for over 40'years.. Relashionsip for 21 years married for 6 of....
I ain't no councillor. But!
I'll be straight with you matey.. Your wife on your first post? She's had some serious stuff to contend with herself.
If I was you? Ditch the "Woody Allen" & focus the "feminising" to yer wife... To be honest, with what she sound like she's had? Her "gender identity" may well be compromised too..
 

4ratbags

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I don't think your wife is being unreasonable, by the sound of it she is trying to help get you on the right track. No matter what type of diabetes you have you have to find a way to manage it so it doesn't take over your life. I can understand it may have been a shock to the system when you were diagnosed but you really do need to step up instead of blaming the poor woman. I'm only a T2 but I quite often have hypo's but I don't use it as an excuse to eat excess carbs and take my issues out on my hubby.
 

Steve14

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you can eat veggies, meat and fish without cutting calories. You can low carb without feeling hungry and cutting calories. There are others on here who can help you with more info. Do you mean diabetes is feminizing in that your feel your emotions are out of control?

I mean it in a way where I start to lose my masculine role. I tried to loosen up and take this less seriously. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the kind of person who will just ignore my disease and go days without taking insulin (that only happened once when I ran out of insulin for 12 hours, and by the end I had that disgusting DKA-like taste in my mouth. No thanks, never again!). Anyways, when I decided to take things more lightly I ended up giving 8 units for evening instead of the usual 4. I only realized it after the pen was already showing 0. By emasculating I meant in a way of always having to be OCD about this... always worry and never be able to let my thoughts wander like I used to all my life. Thus stripping me from my confidence. Although I of course keep a journal and things became a routine, but still, all it takes is to try to forget that I'm sick and boom. I have to keep worrying 24/7.
 

Steve14

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Your wife ain't far wrong.. (I like the sound of this woman.) Though some tropical fruits are like eating candy.. "Natural sugar."
I've been T1 for over 40'years.. Relashionsip for 21 years married for 6 of....
I ain't no councillor. But!
I'll be straight with you matey.. Your wife on your first post? She's had some serious stuff to contend with herself.
If I was you? Ditch the "Woody Allen" & focus the "feminising" to yer wife... To be honest, with what she sound like she's had? Her "gender identity" may well be compromised too..

I get it. Restricting myself to eating "fruit, veggies, meat and fish" sounds like a perfect diet for diabetics, of course. Problem is if I followed such diet I'd have spend all my day eating like a gorilla. Wheat covers almost 50% of my daily calories and I'd love to get rid of it, but how? I'm stuck with cutting calories. Have no experience with it, and whenever I try, I get no sleep at night. Always been slim and lean prior diagnosis. According to https://www.diabetes.co.uk/images/article_images/BMIChart.gif that chart now I'm overweight.
 

Resurgam

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You can't have seen how the military look after their personal kit - I used to meet up with ex forces mountain rescue people from time to time, and whilst they can be totally cavalier about some things they plan and organised those items upon which their lives may depend with great care. Nothing is left to chance, everything is checked, wrapped, packed - and you would not call them effeminate - not more than once.
 

SWUSA_

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Parsnips, turnips, swedes-the vegetable not the people.
I mean it in a way where I start to lose my masculine role. I tried to loosen up and take this less seriously. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the kind of person who will just ignore my disease and go days without taking insulin (that only happened once when I ran out of insulin for 12 hours, and by the end I had that disgusting DKA-like taste in my mouth. No thanks, never again!). Anyways, when I decided to take things more lightly I ended up giving 8 units for evening instead of the usual 4. I only realized it after the pen was already showing 0. By emasculating I meant in a way of always having to be OCD about this... always worry and never be able to let my thoughts wander like I used to all my life. Thus stripping me from my confidence. Although I of course keep a journal and things became a routine, but still, all it takes is to try to forget that I'm sick and boom. I have to keep worrying 24/7.
@Steve14 dude, we are trying to help you here but that equating being sick or weak with being feminine is getting really old really quick. It's offensive-to me and to yourself-having Diabetes has nothing to do with gender or gender identity or gender roles. Other forum members have already pointed this out to you and it is time for you to stop and focus on your health and what you need to do to get better. Love (in a totally non-sexual non-engendered way), SWUSA.
 
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I mean it in a way where I start to lose my masculine role. I tried to loosen up and take this less seriously. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the kind of person who will just ignore my disease and go days without taking insulin (that only happened once when I ran out of insulin for 12 hours, and by the end I had that disgusting DKA-like taste in my mouth. No thanks, never again!). Anyways, when I decided to take things more lightly I ended up giving 8 units for evening instead of the usual 4. I only realized it after the pen was already showing 0. By emasculating I meant in a way of always having to be OCD about this... always worry and never be able to let my thoughts wander like I used to all my life. Thus stripping me from my confidence. Although I of course keep a journal and things became a routine, but still, all it takes is to try to forget that I'm sick and boom. I have to keep worrying 24/7.

Hi, maybe using the words'medical condition' may help your mindset rather than diabetes being a 'disease'. Step back, look at the positive things and any negatives, try to make them less of a burden and don't let it control you, you are the one in control, not diabetes.
Tweaking your food intake, will I'm sure benefit you, just take your time and do it at your own pace, it's not a sprint, more of a marathon really, by that I mean, it's for life, long haul.
My adult son has many medical conditions, including Bi polar, OCD, ADHD and Sarcoidosis ( he is on a lower disability rate now) and he is definitely male, single and the ladies like him too)
Have a look online to find ways ( a way for you) that could help with confidence with a more positive outlook to help control worries and anxieties, it can be hard at times, but push through it and writing in a diary can help too.
 

Alberti

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Diabetes & Ex wife
Hi Steve. Myself was diagnosed T1 2 years ago at the age of 54. I always traveled the world and was working as Scuba Diver Instructor in the Phillipines. Was diagnosed when returning home to Finland, after losing 15kg weight and continous thirst. My world collapsed. It did already once 8 years ago ,when I lost my 18 years son due to an accident.. A year after being diagnosed my 30 years of marriage collapsed too. But all this didn`t stop me to enjoy life. Its too short. Educated myself as much as I could about this condition. At the moment enjoying the beautiful island of Lombok in Indonesia. Travelling around Indonesia and & Phillipines for 4 months. Due to good control, got medical clearance for Scuba Diving again, my life`s passion. While travelling here ,I just check my levels more often then at home . Difficult to go hypo here, with all those carb loaded food like rice ,noodles and unfamiliar sauces.. Its more to prevent highs here.
This is my second trip through South East Asia as T1. Went already once 7 months after being diagnosed, Know the feeling about long haul flights, I always carry food with me. Have for example a little box with slices of apple,pear, carrots,watermelon. Some extra cheese and nuts, And of course gluco tabs .Just once and awhile snacking on it, keep me from going low. On airports there mainly a lot fast food restaurant. Before leaving just tested myself for example what a burger king cheeseburger does to me. So I can simply get a burger and use Novorapid accordingly , when getting hungry.(especially when delayed). First time I had a lot of worries. But now not anymore. Just good preparation is needed. Also travel with all my insulin on me, as hand lugage . I put them in Frio bags to keep them cool. Never any problems going through security, I carry medical certficate with me.
Grab the Diabetes Bull by the Horn ! Its a rollercoaster ride. But life is like that anyway, even without this condition. Now I am off going for my first surfing lessons. Another ride going up and down(probably more down off the board,ha ha)
 

rockape37

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You can't have seen how the military look after their personal kit - I used to meet up with ex forces mountain rescue people from time to time, and whilst they can be totally cavalier about some things they plan and organised those items upon which their lives may depend with great care. Nothing is left to chance, everything is checked, wrapped, packed - and you would not call them effeminate - not more than once.
And un packed, re checked and packed again.

I do the exact same thing prior to a days fishing lol.

Regards

Martin
 
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Pinkorchid

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Do you think then that having diabetes makes you less of a man forget the male role that you feel you have lost it is not relevant to diabetes. Get on with making your life as good as you can and stop the self pity . There are thousands of diabetics who are coping and controlling their diabetes every day but do not let it rule every minute of their life they just get on with it and have a normal life . You don't need to cut the calories just cut the excessive carbs you say you are eating and take on board a lot of what your wife says it is sensible
 

Jaylee

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I get it. Restricting myself to eating "fruit, veggies, meat and fish" sounds like a perfect diet for diabetics, of course. Problem is if I followed such diet I'd have spend all my day eating like a gorilla. Wheat covers almost 50% of my daily calories and I'd love to get rid of it, but how? I'm stuck with cutting calories. Have no experience with it, and whenever I try, I get no sleep at night. Always been slim and lean prior diagnosis. According to https://www.diabetes.co.uk/images/article_images/BMIChart.gif that chart now I'm overweight.
So you're the "sunny side" of "normal".. So what!

Grab a peice of inspiration & make you both happy... :)

 

TorqPenderloin

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My wife has cancer, broken neck and a host of other conditions that make her disabled to the point where it'd be risky to have her visit me.
Hopefully, I'm not the only one who saw this sentence from the OP's first post.

I don't know the circumstances of the situation, but if my fiance were suffering from even one of those conditions...I'd find a way to be with her.. I'm sorry that you're struggling with T1. I struggled with it too when I was first diagnosed, but you don't always have to feel this way. I flew about 40 times this year and I have absolutely no anxiety anymore. Happy to give some tips on making it easier to fly if it's of interest to you.

Another very important observation I've noticed: You use words like "I think" and "she wants" a lot in your posts when describing situations. It's extremely difficult to resolve disagreements when you each take fixed positions. Instead, think about what you BOTH want.

Try to keep in mind that she's probably going through h*** right now dealing with her own health issues. That has to be very tough on her, and I'm sure she could occasionally use some very strong words and say things that might be hurtful. Maybe she just misses you? I wish you both the best and hope you're able to work through your health issues TOGETHER.
 

Steve14

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...I flew about 40 times this year and I have absolutely no anxiety anymore. Happy to give some tips on making it easier to fly if it's of interest to you.

Please do! I'm open to all suggestions. :angelic:

...That has to be very tough on her, and I'm sure she could occasionally use some very strong words and say things that might be hurtful. Maybe she just misses you?

That is correct. She misses me a lot and due to the frustration of the current situation, she puts all her anger out on me. But I understand her somewhere. That's why I welcome any suggestions.... for example. How to tackle a situation where I inject myself, wait, and just after taking my first bite I'd be called to board because either I miscalculated the boarding time or flight leaves earlier etc. I want to know everything and be well prepared. Thank you very much!
 

SWUSA_

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921
Type of diabetes
Type 2
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Insulin
Dislikes
Parsnips, turnips, swedes-the vegetable not the people.
Shortly after diagnosis I wanted to live with this and accept it. It's something that millions have and live with it. I remember getting in the car and taking a drive through country roads and stopped by my most favorite spot with nothing, but beautiful landscape in front of me. Just wanted to clear my thoughts and go home, but as I was sitting in the car I started to feel burning and heard the rumble of my stomach. I quickly lit a cigarrette, realizing the situation and wanted to boost my sugar levels. I only brought water with me on that hot summer day, didn't bring food with myself solely BECAUSE I wanted to live with this disease and don't think of myself as a disabled man, and also because I only wanted to get out for 45-60 minutes, then come home. I'll never forget the feeling where I had to choose between driving home with my heart beating out of my chest and risking others & my life, or call for help. I hate hospitals ever since I watched my Dad die in one at age 15 and traumatized me. I decided to drive home and it played out safe, but almost collapsed when I reached my front door. Since then I've not left town without someone accompanying me. Each time I leave the house I have to take a xanax. Maybe my liver saved me that time, but would it save me now that a year has passed? Will it save me if I give myself a shot, miscalculate my boarding time, and right when I take my first bite of the sandwich they'd start calling people onboard where they'd tell me "sorry sir, no foods allowed" ? Jeopardizing a flight because of my own "mistake" could land me in jail, not to mention hundreds would wish I was dead for ruining their day. That's what I'm deadly scared of. That car ride gave me PTSD and now I rarely leave the house, and if I do, only with xanax. I only see morbidly obese, elderly T2 patients at the diabetic clinic, and when there is a person with T1 it's usually a small child or a teenager. Non of my friends understand me, and they even try to encourage me to eat junk food. They don't get it. How to climb out of this mess? Facing my fears would either be successful, or more traumatizing (depending on how it works out). I feel like a child who needs to be accompanied where he goes, and complains, self-pity... and that's the exact opposite of how I acted prior all this.

@Steve14 -Thank you, I can tell that you are really trying to come to terms with it. My uncle is 78 years old. He has Diabetes type 1. He was diagnosed when he went into a coma at age 29. He was rushed to the hospital and correctly diagnosed and fully recovered. He has been on insulin from that day forward. He was married with 4 children when diagnosed. He is still married to the same woman but now has 10 children with her. He has many grandchildren and even great grandchildren now. Some of them have diabetes. He is still working. He carries candy in his glove box in the car. He carries a small insulated "six pack" container with his insulin, testing supplies and some food with him. We always let him fill his plate first at family gatherings because he takes a shot of insulin based on what he is eating. That is really the only concession we make to his Diabetes. Are you getting support for anxiety along with the Xanax? That might be a really good place to start if you are not. Did rotating your injection site so that you are not injecting into exactly the same spot for at least two weeks help? You can do this!
 

azure

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Please do! I'm open to all suggestions. :angelic:



That is correct. She misses me a lot and due to the frustration of the current situation, she puts all her anger out on me. But I understand her somewhere. That's why I welcome any suggestions.... for example. How to tackle a situation where I inject myself, wait, and just after taking my first bite I'd be called to board because either I miscalculated the boarding time or flight leaves earlier etc. I want to know everything and be well prepared. Thank you very much!

Book flights at a time that suits you ie not due to leave at a meal time. Plan to get to the airport well in advance and eat your meal in good time. Take your own food so you know it'll work for your BS. Test your BS frequently and aim to be slightly higher than you would normally. Although you can't take food through security, you can buy snacks and water to,take on board once you clear that.

It sounds to me like you have a great deal of anxiety. Reducing that should help a lot as it will make your BS more predictable too. Anxiety can cause both highs and lows.

Before taking a flight, perhaps you could practise becoming more confident out and about eg travelling by bus or train? Or just going out for the day? Take glucose, take snacks and take lots of test strips.

I also think you're struggling with your diagnosis. I know it's hard. I've been diagnosed more than 20 years and I still haven't completely got over it because it's ****, to be blunt. But you can't let Type 1 rule your life. You have to learn to live with it and deal with it.
 

Steve14

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95
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Sorry for not getting back for a few days. I wanted to get in the habit of exercising again. Decided to cut my hair and found out that almost the whole of the back of my head is covered with thick psoriasis plaque. Been itching there for well over a year. It looks just as bad as the person's in this photo, but at the back: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/45/e7/9d/45e79d988a5948d32e139ba7e4299633.jpg

I also have been waking up seeing lots and lots of hair on my bed. I'm shedding body hair too. I've been having these flaky things on my face for many many years, but the scalp thing started about a year before diabetes... and now I'm reading psoriasis can cause diabetes... I'm really angry. Will go to the doc after Christmas, but not sure what can be done as it is SEVERE.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!
 
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