Feeling unable to cope

[HoneyBea]

It seems I have hit a wall. At diagnosis I felt apprehensive but was prepared to deal and manage this condition to the best of my ability.. Fast forward a few months and now I'm finding it really difficult.

I have a full time, quite demanding job, two (amazing) kids aged 5 and 3 and at the moment there aren't enough hours in the day to deal with the day to day things never mind time to carb count, test regularly, calculate dosage adjustment and generally just manage this condition as best as possible! Is there anybody else in a similar situation? If so, HOW ON EARTH DO YOU DO IT?!

My glucose levels are not really bad but I know they could improve if I took better care of myself. For example, I try to eat healthy but as part of a busy lifestyle, I find myself more and more looking for convenience.

Anybody with any words of wisdom for me? Feeling like I'm juggling all these balls and pretty soon, something will give

B x

 

[jakejayeden]

Hi, Following for others responses.
I will say that myself, I have recently been terrible with diabetic housekeeping, only during DAFNE have I been able to stabilise and dramatically reduce my levels, although this is during a week completely different from my usual routine. So I find myself in the same boat, worried if I will be able to sustain the work that I am doing now to keep my levels steady.

If anything, I will say, Diabetes never leaves you, it never lets you have a day off. Yes, it can be extremely difficult to find the time to carb and test and write notes, but sometimes you've got to say to yourself, it's YOUR health on the line. You need to make the time for it. Your employer should make accommodations for you to be able to go about your job whilst still being able have regular breaks to carb count and test.

 

[azure]

You're not alone @HoneyBea It IS hard juggling Type 1 with work and children. Be kind to yourself and cut yourself a bit of slack. It's still early days for you, and it sounds like you're doing well.

Make things easy with cooking shortcuts, healthy convenience foods, a preplanned menu, etc

 

[tigger]

It's tough working full time with 2 kids without anything else in the mix let alone a very recent process of type 1. When you have a change like this there's a process you have to go throughof shock, anger, grief and finally acceptance. You have to come to terms with this so you can accept reality and move on. That's just the emotional side.

Then there's the actual work involved. Depending on the type of regime you're on it will involve more or less mental effort. A fixed dose is very restrictive on food and when you can eat but mentally quite simple. MDI regimes have a lot more variables and require considerably more effort and testing to keep going but you can eat what and when you want.

Don't aim for perfection. It's not possible and in addition you'll be in your honeymoon period when your pancreas may still randomly make insulin to upset everything.


You were juggling loads of balls already and life suddenly sent you a proper curve ball. It's going to take time, patience a few drops and a lot of self care to incorporate it. By self care i mean doing nice stuff for you. Is there anyway you can get a bit of time off work? Although i've had type 1 since childhood i have a child who developed a chronic condition a few years ago. I was able to take time off work in day blocks under the disabled parental leave scheme so worked shorter weeks for a while. It really helped me mentally come to terms with it.

You can do it. I have a full time job, 4 kids and decent control. And i don't think i'm superwoman.

 

[vans]

There's no denying it's really tricky. I have two kids, 16 and 3 and some days I amaze myself how I manage! I've had T1 for 12 years now and things I've found that help are;

• DAFNE course was invaluable in learning to carb count - I now do it without even thinking!
• Insulin pump - probably early days for you but it's saved my life I'm sure as I was having night time hypos where I'd fit. And with a young child as a single mum that was a no go
• Regular meal plans. Only just twigged onto this but it's helped enormously. Just knowing what's for dinner has removed untold stress from my daily life. It's also better for the budget

As @azure says, it is hard, you will have good and bad days but you will cope (because you have to). As a woman, this will happen anyway...i think we are a gender of copers (massive generalisation but you know what i mean!)

Hang in there. It gets easier and keep talking

 

[HoneyBea]

You're all so very kind. Due to the fact I'm best guessing my carbs at the moment, I've been experiencing loads of hypos - over compensating in case I go too high only to hypo a few hours later. I know the dangers of this now after an appointment with my GP last week. I didn't realise until then that 2-3 hypos daily is not normal - always thought it was OK as long as you caught it in time and had symptoms.. Thought that it was only high blood sugars that were to be avoided! I think the fact this is something that I will have to do for the rest of my life is sinking in now also..

Knowledge and preparation is key I think..

 

[azure]

Don't let anyone tell you carb counting is hard - it isn't. You'll really find that carb counting helps enormously. Smoother sugars makes things a lot easier.

I also recommend a good quality set of digital,scales. Even if you're not so sure about carb counting at the moment, weighing foods will ensure you have the same amount for the same insulin dose and that helps a lot, like a basic form of carb counting.

 

[Diakat]

Hi @HoneyBea
Great practical advice above, I only have the one child but a very full on job with a long commute so my tip is:
Accept that nothing is perfect.
As long as the kids are clean, fed and loved great!
As long as work is done but not intruding too much into home life, great!
As long as the dust is not deep enough to be shovelled out, great!
As long as my sugars are not too far out of range, umm ok.
Cut yourself some slack, it does get easier. X

 

[paulliljeros]

When it comes to carb counting, "carbs and cals" is a great reference book or app, but even easier is to consider drawing up a cheat sheet of foods you commonly eat that you have on the fridge. For example, don't think of pasta as 100g dried = x grams of carbs, but instead, calculate how many carbs are in 1 of your servings (e.g. 2 ladles etc), and write it down as pasta = x g or whatever. That will also help when you are away from the house, and you need to estimate food that has been prepared for you

 

[HoneyBea]

Thanks everyone, really good advice. I feel more positive now

 

[himtoo]

Hi @HoneyBea
no kids here so am not juggling like you are right now.............

but having had D for a long long time one of the greatest things is having a real routine ( it can get a bit boring)

but planning to have the same meal every Monday night ( and repeat again for Tuesday weds , thurs, etc etc )
can help because you will then know the carbs from having done the same meal the week before - this also helps shopping and budgeting ( a seven meal / 14 meal plan type thing )

this won't solve your problems, but for a few months it might help you regain your mojo

 

[therower]

Hi @HoneyBea. I think you're now beginning to understand how diabetes develops and evolves over time. Just when you think you've got it cracked it changes its tactics.
You say that you're " feeling unable to cope " and the most important part of that quote is " feeling " YOU will cope because you are far stronger and the master of the condition. Diabetes has seen a chink in the armour and it will attack you there.
The chink in the armour appears to be your time to eat properly and inject accordingly. But with a bit of planning you can sort this problem. @azure is so right, scales are invaluable. Other things are measuring spoons the ones used for baking, once you know how much a set spoon size of a particular food affects you, insulin requirements are so easy to work out and removes a lot of guess work.
Another idea and something I used years ago was a flash card system. Write down on cards what carbs are in the meals that you eat, breakfast, sandwich, portions of individual foods etc. When you eat check the flash card, saves time.
Good luck and let us know how things go. You're not alone.

 

[Diamattic]

Hey @HoneyBea - things will get easier if you think they will and harder if you think they won't.

When i eased into carb counting i tried to eat as much 'labeled' foods as possible - I stuck to whatever had a label with carb data on it, and just weighed it all. It was significantly easier then looking everything up. Once you have got a routine down with that, start swapping out packaged stuff with fresh stuff (like parsnips, sweet potatoes - stuff with carbs) and write down the carb values per ever, like, 10grams so when you put it on your plate its easy to figure out. But go slow with this until its a routine.

Fast 'unhealthy' options are fine - they are probably better for you then constant high sugers in the long run.

If possible eat low carb, if you eat meat there is nothing wrong with just making a salad, some chicken with salsa and cheese and avocado or something simple (you dont NEED carbs at every meal, you can function perfectly healthy with only 50g each day) give the gives the carbs if they need it - its more a will power exercise for you (and use T1Ds) then anything. Plus side is that will all the low carbing your sugars should be better, and you will probably loose a few pounds if you're cutting out a bunch of carbs.

Some might think this next part is kinda bad to say but - No food is better then junk food (imo). I would rather be hungry until i can eat properly then eat garbage and fight my sugars for the next couple hours, and my body is totally used to this and i'm perfectly healthy still lol I pick good sugars over a good diet until I can balance them because in my eyes bad sugars is the greater evil here.

 

[mist]

It seems I have hit a wall. At diagnosis I felt apprehensive but was prepared to deal and manage this condition to the best of my ability.. Fast forward a few months and now I'm finding it really difficult.

I have a full time, quite demanding job, two (amazing) kids aged 5 and 3 and at the moment there aren't enough hours in the day to deal with the day to day things never mind time to carb count, test regularly, calculate dosage adjustment and generally just manage this condition as best as possible! Is there anybody else in a similar situation? If so, HOW ON EARTH DO YOU DO IT?!

My glucose levels are not really bad but I know they could improve if I took better care of myself. For example, I try to eat healthy but as part of a busy lifestyle, I find myself more and more looking for convenience.

Anybody with any words of wisdom for me? Feeling like I'm juggling all these balls and pretty soon, something will give

B x

In terms of food, I just have things like prawns, turkey, tuna..etc things like that just popped onto a simple salad. Takes like two minutes to make.

You don't need to make big changes in your life to deal with diabetes, hang in there, you're doing great!

 

[hynes48]

Hi @HoneyBea. I know @paulliljeros mentioned it earlier but you should really get the 'carbs and cals' app. It gives you an image of the food on a plate so you can visually compare to what you are eating. It's not perfect but gives you a very good guide.
A scond app I have on the phone is 'FatSecret'. It has alot of functions but i only use it for carb counting.

Last app....I promise....is MySugr app. You register your readings, what you have eaten etc. It also has a function to calculate your bolus based on the carbs you eat. By keeping the history of what you have eaten and how many carbs you have calculated it is a good reference point for the next time you eat the same thing. It's on your phone so you'll always have it to hand. At the end of the day, we tend to eat braodly the same things week in week out.

Finally, have you considered a Pump. It is not the solution to all your problems but you'll never look back.

Keep the chin up. It does get easier.

 

[vans]

Another vote for carbs and cals book / app. The pictures really help to visualise the carbs and then you just start to know