diabulimia

[sunshinekisses]

Im nearly 18 and became diagnosed last july
My first couple of months, i saw my diabetes as a challenge
but my friends couldnt handle it and all left me cos i had it.
i went from a size 8 to a 14/16 and absolutley hated it.

The thing is, ive noticed that by stopping taking inusulin i can lose alot f weight.
this week ive lost 4 1/2 pounds in a week
but i know its wrong, and i feel SO ashamed of myself :cry: but i feel like its addictive now.
i refuse to tell my mum, cos she already watches me like a HAWK. like everytime i close my eyes its ARE YOU GOING HYPO, TEST YOUR SUGAR QUICK!
and i hate worrying her.
im trying to stop, and i think i can. because i know its damaging, but the need to be skinny again is overpowering.
just thought id put this out there as i need to vent, and write it down, and also i was wondering if anyone knows what im going through.

 

[catherinecherub]

Hi sunshinekisses,
You seem to be having a rough time. (((hugs))).
The friends you say that you had were not true friends as a friend is "someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out" It must be difficult now that it is becoming a habit.

Have a read through this article and see if it is of any help to you,

http://www.diabeteshealth.com/read/2009 ... -treat-it/

You need to involve your mum in this and get her to help you through it. I know we thinks mums are a pain when they keep going on about things but she has your best interests at heart. To admit that you have a problem takes a lot of courage and you have already done that by coming here and writing about it.

Good luck and keep us informed. It may help someone else in a similar situation.

Catherine.

 

[hanadr]

sunshinekisses
what you are doing is fairly common among young people, but that doesn't make it less dangerous.
Any friends that have left you were not worth having in the first place.
Try contacting Diabetes UK and getting in touch with their youth groups. If you don't find friends there, at least you will find people who know what you are up against.

Hana

 

[ShyGirl]

I can't add much more but skipping Insulin now will catch up with you one day and it won't be pretty. You have to find a new way of eating/exercising if you have put weight on. Forget about your "friends" as they sound vile.
I know how much pressure there is to be slim but you mus stop. Maybe you could ask your GP if you could see a dietician?

 

[hanadr]

sunshine
as a lifelong battler with weight, I know just how frustrating a weight gain can be.( I've been all sizes from a 10 up to a 24, currently 18/20.)
You are right in recognising insulin as the cause. I see exercise has beeen suggested for weight control. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to work like that ;exercise seems to help prevent gain, but not to cause loss, unless very extreme.
What does help is getting the insulin to carb ratio correct.
I suggest you read Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes solution. Dr B is a life long T1 himself and in the book, he answers pretty much all the questions. He suggests diet modifications which can help.
Once you get to grips with being in control, you will feel a lot better about yourself.
Good luck
you have many years of,hopefully healthy, life ahead of you
Hana

 

[daisynova]

I wish i could give you a gue hug honey as sounds like you are having a tough time of it. I am now 32 but for over 10 years I did the whole losing weight by not taking my insulin. The only thing that stopped me was falling pregnant with my son. However I really wish someone took me to one side and battered me in the head and showed me what can go wrong.

I now have diabetic retinopathy and have had a LOT of laser surgery on my eyes. This wasn't solely down to the diabulimia but my bloods had been running between 10 to 20 for 10 years and then suddenly pregnant, I had to keep them below 6mmol. The rapid decline in my blood sugars levels caused a huge amount of pressure on my eyes and caused them to bleed. I have lost the central part of my vision in my left eye and luckily, down to an amazing team at Moorfields Eye Hospital, my right eye is ok.

I also have problems with my teeth, nerves and circulation all down to years of abuse.

Now I do not have a magic wand to help with the weight loss but speaking to a dietician or your DSN should help. Things like lowering your carb intake so that you can lower insulin needs will help with weight loss. You will also need to exercise (eeeyuck!) but even just walking up and down the stairs at work.school/college should help.

I am not perfect and after I had my son, my HbA1c shot back up to 9.1% after having it down to 6.5% but i am working on it and have a pump now which makes things easier for me. I have resigned myself to staying a size 12 for the rest of my life and not the svelte 8-10 that I was when in the heigt of my eating disorder (which it is classed as). It's pants but I would rather be able to see my son grow up than be a skinny blind woman.

Not trying to scare you but I think a scare would have helped me x

 

[mindii]

Sunshinekisses! U little lamb, I know that you feel alone and that being skinny will sort life out for you but Seriously it will not!! I say this coz I've been diabetic for 20 years now and am not nearly perfect. My bs's were brilliant whilst my parents had control of me then I got to the high school and it wasn't too bad Then I left and discovered nightlife!!!! O my what a time I had. All party NO insulin i dropped from around 10 stone to 8 in a matter of a few weeks but I was really unwell and ended up in hosp hooked up to all sorts including a cathetar (SO not pleasant) when they released me after a week I toed the party line so to speak, then i noticed the weight gain I went from a small size 10 to a massive 14 I was not a happy girl! got myself really depressed as all my friends could go all night without thinking about it. and they were all a wee size too not fair. So I secretly stopped it again - instead of 4 jags a day I was very lucky if I did 4 a week. My mum still swears she thought i had a speed addiction !! so again I dropped the weight V. quickly. yes it's addictive but I looked like a junkie- i thought it was great eating alot of rubbish drinking far too much! It's only now that I realise how terrified my family really were that i would slip into a coma and die!! (luckily no coma's) it's a struggle living with diabetes but it doesn't have to be a life and death one - or limbless or blind. If you ever need to vent pls PM me anytime hunni
Amanda
xxxxxx