@determined45yearold i read this entire thread and joined this group to reply specifically to you. I'm really sorry for what you're experiencing. On top of that it's obvious that the other members mean well but don't understand what you're experiencing.
I found this thread because I've had a similar experience on a very low carb diet to get some fast fat loss and to reign in my ha1c levels. I accomplished both goals by losing 13lbs and getting my Ha1c levels below pre-diabetic levels.
However, I've also been dealing with some nasty side effects. High anxiety levels like I'm "on" something, heart palpitations that have lead to sleepless nights and an intolerance for exercise that raises my heart rate to much (approaching anaerobic levels). Before all this recent nonsense, I've been working out hard for The past 24 years or so.
Went to the doctor and he told me something similar t what you were told about anxiety. So I get where you're at.
I've been able to reign in and reverse many of the symptoms but I'm still having issues returning to exercise. Even a 30-45 minute walk can bring on the palpitations again.
First thing I want to tell you is that low-carb, high-fat diets aren't for everyone. There are plenty of people who have ended up with reactions like ours--heart palpitations, high blood pressure, anxiety, panic attacks, lightheadeness, etc. Just google low carb Keto heart palpitations and many stories come up.
I'm going to share what I did to reverse things but I also want to say that I'm not a doctor so do your due diligence and listen to your body if something doesn't feel right. I do have a degree in biology, have been in the fitness industry for over 18 years and host a podcast where I speak to medical doctors, nutritionists, etc on a regular basis. Unfortunately, medical and nutrition professionals well versed in this stuff are difficult to find as I've been actively searching.
First thing is that you gotta stop this diet. I'm hypothesizing that your magnesium and potassium levels may be too low and your sodium may be too high. That may be the cause of the high blood pressure. Tingling in your extremities is a sign of hypokalemia (low potassium). Did you have your blood and urine electrolytes checked? I would experiment with taking an electrolyte replacement supplement as that may make you feel better right away. Just watch the sodium levels as high sodium intake may make your blood pressure worse. Keep tracking your blood pressure to see how you respond. Lyteshow or salt stick would be two examples of electrolyte replacements. That would be a relatively safe option to see if it helps. If you drink plain water it will just go right through you potentially even making the problem worse
Another important thing to mention is that low carbohydrate intake can raise cortisol (stress hormone) levels. That may be at work here as well. I would slowly start adding in carbs like potatoes and sweet potatoes (good sources of postassium) and focus on eating plenty of green leafy vegetables (good sources of magnesium). Even if you started eating 150-200 g carbs per day , that's still on the low side. Just start slowly.
I know that's heresy to say these days -- especially for diabetics. But the most current research suggests that diabetes is caused by overeating--and there's nothing magical about whole food carbs that causes diabetes. It's eating too many calories and behaving too much body fat.
Low carb diets are known to cause a diuretic effect I.e. increased urine production and loss of water. The effect is called the naturiesis of fasting. This can cause electrolyte imbalances like I mentioned above and dehydration. Dehydration is another factor that increases cortisol--more anxiety and feeling terrible. So when you start eating carbs again you will start to reverse this effect.
I would also make sure you're eating enough protein. You say that you're losing muscle. That's definitely not a good thing. Shooting for 0.8g per lb or 1.7g per kg every day will help stop that. Getting some Greek yogurt will help you get more potassium in naturally.
As far as managing your diabetes, which how I h you eat, I would recommend finding a doctor who specializes in treating diabetes with diet. What I can tell you to do is to is to try eating 12 calories per lb (or 26 calories per kg I believe).
Then figure out how much protein you're going to eat. Protein is 4 calories per gram and as I mentioned above, shoot for 1.7g per kg per day.
Then bump up your carbs to around 150-200g per day--which is still on the low side. Carbs are 4 calories per gram.
So after you have your protein per day and carbs per day, the remaining calories will come from fat. Getting your fat mostly from mono-unsaturated sources like avocados and olive oil as well as nuts and seeds is best. But having some naturally occurring saturated fat is ok too.
So what I've given you is a blueprint to eat a more sane and balanced diet that will help you to start reverse some of the symptoms you're feeling.
And find a doctor who understands the situation that you're in and won't resort to intellectual laziness and chalk it up to anxiety.
I hope this was helpful and I hope you feel better. I'm in reaching out to some very smart doctors and nutrition experts who may be able to shed more light. When I learn more I'll post again.