Thank you azure. Yes I have got stuck in the thought loop. Periodically I think maybe she's ok but then I think she had a few grapes and went over 9 so how can she be?
Extremely worried please any advice
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it is normal for babies of around 18-24 months to put weight on round their middle. It happens just before they then start the growth spurt where they become taller and thinner and change their body proportions.
Is it possible you may have post natal depression? it doesnt always come right away, it can come any time in the first 3 years and can show up as anxiety first.
It is by no means inevitable that your daughter will become diabetic, of any type. Please find the reassurance you need and some help for the anxiety this worry is causing.
Finally, remember that milk is an important part of the diet of a child under 5 years of age, especially full fat milk. I suggest keeping her on milk and cutting out the chocolate.
do you test your son? how old is he?
I can remember going through similar, after i had my son, after 8 losses. I was so anxious for the first two/three years. It is very hard, especially with so much else going on. Please, please stop testing your daughter and find someone professional to talk to about this. Maybe your Diabetic consultants has info on children and blood sugar levels and can reassure you?
Yes she can still have some milk but she was having 30oz of formula plus some breast milk. I think they say about 10-14oz for her age which is now what she is having.
She is overweight. I can see it when she is with other children her age. On her own I don't see it as much but with others she is much bigger.
I don't test my son... he won't let me! I used to occasionally when he was smaller but only rarely and once he was ok I left him alone. I know my anxiety is mainly around my daughter which isn't good for either child I realise.
There's just this nagging doubt in my mind over those higher numbers. I doubt the GP will know, I would rather speak to a consultant - we will go privately if needs be - as I have been told very random things myself by GPs over the years which I knew were wrong and had I taken their advice I would have been in a real mess (things like stop taking any insulin for 24 hours if you are being sick!)
She is overweight. I can see it when she is with other children her age. On her own I don't see it as much but with others she is much bigger.
I don't test my son... he won't let me! I used to occasionally when he was smaller but only rarely and once he was ok I left him alone. I know my anxiety is mainly around my daughter which isn't good for either child I realise.
There's just this nagging doubt in my mind over those higher numbers. I doubt the GP will know, I would rather speak to a consultant - we will go privately if needs be - as I have been told very random things myself by GPs over the years which I knew were wrong and had I taken their advice I would have been in a real mess (things like stop taking any insulin for 24 hours if you are being sick!)
I am sorry to hear that you had a tough time too Serenity.
Yes I think it is PND or maybe even PTSD or both. I don't feel depressed, just anxious to the point where I can do nothing else but feel worried.
I haven't eaten for nearly a week - luckily I am on a pump so have turned my basal rates down as after a couple of days of not eating I found I was running low even without the bolus. I have a self funded libre which shows my sugars are now steady but I feel too panicky to eat anything.
Yes I think it is PND or maybe even PTSD or both. I don't feel depressed, just anxious to the point where I can do nothing else but feel worried.
I haven't eaten for nearly a week - luckily I am on a pump so have turned my basal rates down as after a couple of days of not eating I found I was running low even without the bolus. I have a self funded libre which shows my sugars are now steady but I feel too panicky to eat anything.
SockFiddler
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A few quick points:
- I was (very gently) saying that you probably have a form of PTSD particular to parents of PICU babies who didn't get enough / appropriate support when their babies left the high-dependency units. I have no power or qualifications to diagnose you, but donuts-to-diamonds, that's what I'd bet your situation is.
- Stop testing your daughter. But, at the very least, stop testing your daughter at inappropriate times. No-one tests at the 1 hr mark after food. We all - everyone here - waits for 2 hours to see what our bodies are doing with the food we ate. But you need to stop testing your daughter completely - do not forget that, though she thinks it's fabulous, it's still invasive and you are drawing her blood.
- There is no difference between carbs and sugar. They are the same thing in the body. You might feed her 10 grapes and then give her a "sensible" sandwich with some juice and it will all turn into sugar regardless of your intentions.
- I urge you to get your partner or a close friend to read this thread and accompany you to your doctor's appointment on Monday.
- Avoiding food isn't going to help anyone in the long run. Again, get your partner or someone close to you to read this thread. Please.
Sock x
- I was (very gently) saying that you probably have a form of PTSD particular to parents of PICU babies who didn't get enough / appropriate support when their babies left the high-dependency units. I have no power or qualifications to diagnose you, but donuts-to-diamonds, that's what I'd bet your situation is.
- Stop testing your daughter. But, at the very least, stop testing your daughter at inappropriate times. No-one tests at the 1 hr mark after food. We all - everyone here - waits for 2 hours to see what our bodies are doing with the food we ate. But you need to stop testing your daughter completely - do not forget that, though she thinks it's fabulous, it's still invasive and you are drawing her blood.
- There is no difference between carbs and sugar. They are the same thing in the body. You might feed her 10 grapes and then give her a "sensible" sandwich with some juice and it will all turn into sugar regardless of your intentions.
- I urge you to get your partner or a close friend to read this thread and accompany you to your doctor's appointment on Monday.
- Avoiding food isn't going to help anyone in the long run. Again, get your partner or someone close to you to read this thread. Please.
Sock x
azure
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Look - that says it all {{hugs}} You need to look after yourself. Your daughter is fine.
You said earlier that you weren't in a good place. I don't know whether that's just because of your anxieties or other reasons (and I'm not expecting you to answer that) .
Whatever we say, you keep jumping back to the idea that somethingmis wrong with your daughter. That's a symptom of your anxiety. I think you recognise that.
That's the problem NOT your daughter's perfectly normal blood sugars. Stop testing her blood sugar - and if you can't do that, then see that as further evidence that you need a bit of support.
Here's a link to a leaflet that other people here have found helpful in the past:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hypochondria/Documents/Health Anxiety A4 2010.pdf
You can escape the pattern of thinking you're in - you just need some outside support.
azure
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You're most definitely not a bad parent! You love your children very much - anyone can see that. XXX
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Please eat, your body needs it and to cope with your anxiety you are going to wear your self out, taking care of yourself is so important as you have dependants who need you, please stop testing your daughter and start taking care of yourself x
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It's mothers instinct to put her children first and neglect herself. I had PTSD after my son was born via emergency Caesarian followed by a stay in SCBU (I even feel tears pricking in my eyes when I type this 21 years later). However I learned to look after myself properly, with support from Health Visitor, GP and family, so I in turn could look after my kids properly. You've made the first step by making an appt with your GP and acknowledging you have a problem. Be honest with your GP tell him/her all that you have told us, so they know the whole picture and know how to help you. Enjoy the rest of your break, especially making good memories with your children x
NO WAY are you a bad parent. A bad parent wouldnt care about her childs diet and health. You are at the anxiety end of depression, the two dont always go together. You are a good, caring parent who has had so much to cope with that you are caught in a loop of worry and then testing inappropriately (in 1 hour after food, not two) which is falsely 'proving' your worry and inducing more anxiety. Its a normal response when someone has been under such pressure and fear for any length of time.
You have shown great courage in coming and asking us, internet stranger, for advice and support. We are here for you. Please eat or, if you cant, have some drink with nourishment like soups. And breathing exercise will help too.
I felt a little better today. I've checked her three times and she was between 4.5 and 5.7 each time which is fine. If I wasn't checking her so soon after eating I wouldn't know this potential problem existed. I'm still not 100% sure that a 9 or above is normal in a non diabetic regardless of when it is taken. Some things I've read say yes and some things I've read say no.
I am concerned the GP won't be able to really give me any answers. Whether a glucose tolerance test would be worth it. Probably not currently I guess.
We have been out most of the day and she's had lots of fresh air and exercise which is good and has eaten well but healthily apart from the daily holiday ice cream!
Thanks everyone again. I find it so difficult to discern what is a real concern and what I'm blowing out of proportion.
I am concerned the GP won't be able to really give me any answers. Whether a glucose tolerance test would be worth it. Probably not currently I guess.
We have been out most of the day and she's had lots of fresh air and exercise which is good and has eaten well but healthily apart from the daily holiday ice cream!
Thanks everyone again. I find it so difficult to discern what is a real concern and what I'm blowing out of proportion.
SockFiddler
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Stop testing her. There is no potential problem. You need help with your anxiety - your daughter's health is fine. Please get someone else to read these words to you.
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I agree there is no need to test your daughter. Please stop it, at least til you've seen your GP, she'll be fine til Monday and then I'm sure your GP will say not to test her either. I'm not very experienced in diabetes but you've received sound advice from those more experienced than me. Not one person has advocated continuing to test her. Every time you test her you have more material to analyse which is perpetuating your 'thought loop'. Please try and resolve to stop testing her til you've seen your GP. I'm so glad she had ice-cream today
above 9 is NORMAL 1 hour after testing in non diabetics. You area type 1, so you know what foods make your blood sugars spike, and how to calculate the carbs in food. Why are you feeding your child apple juice etc, then testing her blood one hour later? Seriously, why arent you waiting 2 hours? does she have any other symptoms? There is no potential problem with her. The problem is with you testing her 1 hour later.
my son and husband are not diabetic. If they eat chocolate, or have a big rice meal, or fruit juice, they spike 1 hour later. I know, because we did some tests when I was first diagnosed. This is a NORMAL response to a high carb intake of food or drink. They are back to normal (around 5) two hours after eating.
azure
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You don't need to test her blood sugar at all. Please stop - for your sake as much as hers. It's really not necessary. Really.
Please stop googling and torturing yourself. The signs of Type 1 are unmissable - especially to another Type 1. Your daughter isn't displaying any signs of Type 1 so you don't need to test her blood sugar. Her blood sugar is normal.
Read back through this thread. Read that leaflet I linked to. Put all of this out of your mind as much as you can. Don't test your daughter's blood sugar any more. It is not necessary, ok? Truly - it's not.
Please let us know how you get on at your appointment if you feel able to talk here further. Be honest with your GP about the extent of your anxiety. Then you can get the support you need and the peace of mind to enjoy your children and your life with them.
Serenity - as high as above 9?
Azure, thank you for your patience with me. I will tell the dr how anxious I have been feeling. I was hoping not to have to take medication but at least now I have stopped breastfeeding I feel a little less concerned about it. I think I will have no choice as apparently the wait for any other type of help such as CBT is around 18 months.
Azure, thank you for your patience with me. I will tell the dr how anxious I have been feeling. I was hoping not to have to take medication but at least now I have stopped breastfeeding I feel a little less concerned about it. I think I will have no choice as apparently the wait for any other type of help such as CBT is around 18 months.
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