Hi. I've been Type 1 for 42 years since the age of 7. I am also self-employed working from home (for 5 years now). I try to do the 'right thing' with the diabetes management but some time ago (not soon enough, looking back), I stopped concerning myself with what doctors and others were advising - yes, they meant well, but most of them don't live with diabetes and even if they do, most have probably not had to deal with it for a long, long time. I have often felt that an ideal day would be spent somewhere with an intravenous drip in my arm so that I didn't have to inject and for a nurse or doctor to monitor my blood glucose without me having to lift a finger!
The things I have done to cope over the past 42 years include (in no particular order):
- allowing myself to be a human being first rather than a diabetic first; e.g. if I feel tired, I used to think it was because of my blood glucose level not being 'right' - I wouldn't allow myself to accept that I was tired because I was tired!
- accepting that I suffered from periods of depression due to having to deal with diabetes and making opportunities to try different psychological approaches, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to treat trauma - and diabetes can be traumatic, of course!
- accepting that I do forget to inject from time to time and not to beat myself up about it - has taken me a VERY long time to really do this one!
- trying to find quality of life: I like working and I try my best in everything. I think I know (!) that I need to spend time playing or hanging out with my daughters just as much as I need to test my BG before eating.
- accepting - albeit with a lot of frustration and sometimes anger - that no matter how good I try to be as a diabetic, there are mysteries to how my body (and mind!) act, e.g. a carb-free breakfast and lunch but my BG rises during the afternoon to very high levels! Stress, in particular, can do strange things to my BG control and I've never really found an 'answer' to address it.
- and finally, sometimes saying "to hell with it!!!" and have a massive 'death-by-chocolate' because psychologically / emotionally, etc., I really need the break - and not to beat myself up about it, especially when my BG shoots up high!
Perhaps the most useful thing I can do is to tell you that you are not alone. I'm sure there are many, many people suffering in the way you are and have the same kind of questions as you do and, perhaps, some who find it hard to carry on coping and dealing with diabetes. 'We' are all there in spirit (I don't mean that from a religious perspective!) in some kind of way with you, even in your darkest moment...
WIth very best wishes.