God bless Ellen. My husband's colleague had to attend the funeral of her niece who died in similar circumstances. She was 19, diagnosed a year and didn't share her condition with anyone. She had always had trouble coming to grips with it all - truth be told, she wouldn't go home and get family support for a year. Her university place would have been held open for her. I hope people have come to recognise how supportive you were to your husband. Your families know and that is all that matters hon. I wish you and your children well for the future - thank you for continuing to support diabetes-related matter.
Diabetes does kill
- Thread starter ellenvdk
- Start Date
My apologies for posting in this topic so late in the day, but I've not been on here as much as I used to be.
My condolences to you, and to your children. I took the liberty of going through your previous posts about this matter, and I have to say you appear to have done everything you could - I know that will be little comfort, but perhaps comfort nonetheless.
My condolences to you, and to your children. I took the liberty of going through your previous posts about this matter, and I have to say you appear to have done everything you could - I know that will be little comfort, but perhaps comfort nonetheless.
Very powerful message Ellen, so sad for your loss.
I get a feeling more & more that the press are helping to dumb down the fact that diabetes is a killer.
Almost every day you pick up a paper & feel like screaming because yet another article is taking a swipe at the level of diabetes in this country & all because we are fat pigs who have eaten too much!!
Someone needs to make these idiots aware that they are stigmatising the condition & I'm sure that we will hear more & more of people denying or hiding there condition because they feel like a social leper.
Someone also needs to tell these idiots that there are major differences between the causes & effects of T1 & T2 diabetes.
I'm personally a little overweight but find I hide the fact that I am T1 diabetic because of how it will be viewed.
I get a feeling more & more that the press are helping to dumb down the fact that diabetes is a killer.
Almost every day you pick up a paper & feel like screaming because yet another article is taking a swipe at the level of diabetes in this country & all because we are fat pigs who have eaten too much!!
Someone needs to make these idiots aware that they are stigmatising the condition & I'm sure that we will hear more & more of people denying or hiding there condition because they feel like a social leper.
Someone also needs to tell these idiots that there are major differences between the causes & effects of T1 & T2 diabetes.
I'm personally a little overweight but find I hide the fact that I am T1 diabetic because of how it will be viewed.
Hi. I am new to this forum and a mum of a a 15yrold girl with tvpe 1 diabetes - diagnosed 4yrs ago. Your post and replies really touched my heart. I too lost my partner and daughter's father to diabetes 7yrs ago. He too was not the best at looking after his diabetes, especially as a young man. At university he drank heavily, ate what he wanted and was lapse with his medication. By his late 20's he was totally bind and had his first kidney transplant. our daughter was born in his mid 30's and he adored her yet never saw her.He was a doting father but still he couldn't get his diabetes under control, although was now careful with alcohol, he would regularly binge on sugar. He died at 43, having had a lower limb operation the previous year, with the other leg to be amputated the day he died. He'd had enough. We were devastated, but life moved on but yet again the spectre of diabetes returned to haunt us when my daughter was diagnosed 3yrs later. Despite the traumas my partner lived life wiith passion and was active in disability rights and has passed on this passion to our daughter. Diabetes can be a killer, although I refuse to let it kill my daughter and am so grateful for your heartfelt, honest posting. I wish you and your family all the best and things can get better. I am now marred to a wonderful man who I met 3yrs ago.
Dear Ellen,
I am so dreadfully sorry for your loss, only someone who has lost a loved one will know how you are feeling right now. I lost my son 7 years ago he was just 6 years and 6 months old and it feels like it was just yesterday. The broken heart will never heal but time will help to enable you to bear life without your dear husband. I never ever thought I would laugh again, but in time I did and you will too, you will find comfort in your little boy and your girls too. I know when the good memories kick in you will find the ability to do things you never believed you would again, laugh, love, have happy times and live life for your children again.
Be kind to yourself and feel glad that you did all you could do to help your husband, don't ever feel like beating yourself up about his passing because you did all you could do and more for him.
I thank you so much for sharing your loss with us all here , I have just found out I am diabetic , I don't even know what type I am, the doctor at the hospital didn't say and I was too shocked to ask.
I was told to go see my GP and she would tell me what I needed to know. So I have been waiting since Friday morning and I get to see the GP tomorrow , I have been really worried over the weekend and my poor family have been at the end of my angry outbursts all weekend. I guess when I know what I am up against it will be better all round but for now I have to wait until I find out what type I am and what I can and cannot eat and drink .
Take care Ellen and if you ever feel the need of a shoulder I am here for you.
(((((Hugs)))))
Denise
I am so dreadfully sorry for your loss, only someone who has lost a loved one will know how you are feeling right now. I lost my son 7 years ago he was just 6 years and 6 months old and it feels like it was just yesterday. The broken heart will never heal but time will help to enable you to bear life without your dear husband. I never ever thought I would laugh again, but in time I did and you will too, you will find comfort in your little boy and your girls too. I know when the good memories kick in you will find the ability to do things you never believed you would again, laugh, love, have happy times and live life for your children again.
Be kind to yourself and feel glad that you did all you could do to help your husband, don't ever feel like beating yourself up about his passing because you did all you could do and more for him.
I thank you so much for sharing your loss with us all here , I have just found out I am diabetic , I don't even know what type I am, the doctor at the hospital didn't say and I was too shocked to ask.
I was told to go see my GP and she would tell me what I needed to know. So I have been waiting since Friday morning and I get to see the GP tomorrow , I have been really worried over the weekend and my poor family have been at the end of my angry outbursts all weekend. I guess when I know what I am up against it will be better all round but for now I have to wait until I find out what type I am and what I can and cannot eat and drink .
Take care Ellen and if you ever feel the need of a shoulder I am here for you.
(((((Hugs)))))
Denise
As a parent of a child (well teenager) who was diagnosed two years ago, i wanted to send you hugs and condolences, diabeties is scary to the best of us watching from the sidelines but to be the one who is diagnosed must be devastating, although every body says don't let diabetes rule your life.
The world can be such a cruel place at times. :cry: I hope you and your son live a very happy life even after whats happened. Your partner would want this I bet so all the best~
kateincornwall
Well-Known Member
- Messages
- 645
- Type of diabetes
- Treatment type
- Diet only
- Dislikes
- People who lie , animal cruelty , boredom and pineapple !
Very sad to read about your loss and my thoughts are with you and your family.
It was only today that the dangers of diabetes have sunk in with me (being newly diagnosed) as my aunt died last night due to heart and kidney problems brought on by her diabetes. She was a lovely lady and she is leaving behind alot of people who loved her very much.
It was only today that the dangers of diabetes have sunk in with me (being newly diagnosed) as my aunt died last night due to heart and kidney problems brought on by her diabetes. She was a lovely lady and she is leaving behind alot of people who loved her very much.
The trouble is that we are not robots - although we may feel like one sometimes - no two people manage their diabetes the same. We each handle it differently and our bodies react differently too and some people are unfortunate unable to accept that they have limitations especially when it comes to having a drink or three. Unless you are unbelievably sensible there's only one way to learn and that is the hard way. I am brittle type 1 for just about 50 years. and I'm not smug - can't afford to be.
My condolences to you ellen it must have been awful.
I have a friend with type 1 since childhood. she sadly became an alcoholic and 9 years ago was found unconcious at home by her daughter with hyperglacaemia and spent 4 weeks in a coma and 2 months in hi-dependency unit and now suffers from partial brain-damage. Her ederly mother had to treat her like a child and when she went shopping had to put the money in a purse with an exact list, put bus fare in each pocket so she knew where it was. My friend used to be a teacher but can't be left on her own anymore.
These stories are distressing and anybody in denial should take them to heart because it may be you next time!!!!!!
I have a friend with type 1 since childhood. she sadly became an alcoholic and 9 years ago was found unconcious at home by her daughter with hyperglacaemia and spent 4 weeks in a coma and 2 months in hi-dependency unit and now suffers from partial brain-damage. Her ederly mother had to treat her like a child and when she went shopping had to put the money in a purse with an exact list, put bus fare in each pocket so she knew where it was. My friend used to be a teacher but can't be left on her own anymore.
These stories are distressing and anybody in denial should take them to heart because it may be you next time!!!!!!
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unless you have to live with it in you,you do not know what it feels like to have it.at least he doesnt have to live with the thoughts of what if any more.
First i would like to say im sorry to hear your news. ive been type 1 since 1994 and i have a family of my own, you have just given me a massive wakeup call.Ive never been on a forum before so here goes.
Im 47 and i know i should take more care of my condition i dont test my blood or eat as i should i work and find i have very little energy all the time.
Ive been to my diatition but they say they cannot workout a diat for me because of my work load, but from what ive just read that has got to change. NOW.
I wish you and your family all the best.
Kind Regards Kev
xxxx
Im 47 and i know i should take more care of my condition i dont test my blood or eat as i should i work and find i have very little energy all the time.
Ive been to my diatition but they say they cannot workout a diat for me because of my work load, but from what ive just read that has got to change. NOW.
I wish you and your family all the best.
Kind Regards Kev
xxxx
Wow...I feel so bad.
I too have put my wife through hell, and she has in the past phoned ambulances as I have been choking and biting down on my own tongue whilst fitting due to low blood sugar.
I have found better control over the last 3 years, but I know that only through the grace of God, I could have been lost to my wife and young sons.
Thank you for your post, it gives stronger weight to my wifes views that I should test more, 30 secs out to test could in theory be the difference to being with my family for years to come.
I hope you and your family are not angry with your husband, he just didn't realise the stakes that he was gambling with, like so many of us.
May he rest in peace, and at least you can have comfort from knowing that there are many on here, who have learned much from your tragic lesson.
I too have put my wife through hell, and she has in the past phoned ambulances as I have been choking and biting down on my own tongue whilst fitting due to low blood sugar.
I have found better control over the last 3 years, but I know that only through the grace of God, I could have been lost to my wife and young sons.
Thank you for your post, it gives stronger weight to my wifes views that I should test more, 30 secs out to test could in theory be the difference to being with my family for years to come.
I hope you and your family are not angry with your husband, he just didn't realise the stakes that he was gambling with, like so many of us.
May he rest in peace, and at least you can have comfort from knowing that there are many on here, who have learned much from your tragic lesson.
yingal2010
Well-Known Member
- Messages
- 48
- Type of diabetes
- Type 1
- Treatment type
- Insulin
- Dislikes
- Spicey food, taxi drivers, hypos & hypers, pigeons, hospitals, dentists, my GP, my ****** immune system.
Ellen
I read your story about your husband and you have my sincerest condolences for your loss. I too went through the same thing with my Dad. Because of his situation (he was sole carer for my mentally disabled Mother) he chose to drink too much, smoke too much eat too much junk and basically rebel against the one thing he thought he could control. Countless times I had to race down to his house 60 miles away because over the phone I could never tell when he was in a hypo or just drunk. Then one night while he was drunk he stepped on a glass ashtray he'd dropped on the floor and ended up with an inch wide hole in his foot all the way down to the bone. My father was a great believer in self medication and wouldn't get it seen to, didn't tell me or anyone else about it and continued to physically pick at the wound.
It wasn't until I had to take him to hospital with a major stomach bug that I noticed his foot. He ended up being re-admitted a week after he left hospital (for the bug) because he had a high fever and the infection was creeping up his leg like he'd been bitten by a venemous snake! He spent 10 weeks in hospital, had 2 operations on his foot to remove infected bone and tissue and was on constant antibiotics. Even while in hospital he would continue to smoke. He was released where he went back to his old ways and 4 weeks later he was dead. He'd had a sudden heartattack that took him with such force he was found still sitting on the side of the bath (He'd been getting ready for a shower). He didn't know what hit him.
That was 4 years ago and I miss the old ****** every single day. I just wished he'd led by example as I too have diabetes. I hope you know that none of this was of you're doing. Unfortunately, just like an addict, you have to wait for the person concerned to want to get help, you can't force them. Where ever Gerard and my Dad are now they are looking down and realising what they could've done.
Best wishes
Yingal
I read your story about your husband and you have my sincerest condolences for your loss. I too went through the same thing with my Dad. Because of his situation (he was sole carer for my mentally disabled Mother) he chose to drink too much, smoke too much eat too much junk and basically rebel against the one thing he thought he could control. Countless times I had to race down to his house 60 miles away because over the phone I could never tell when he was in a hypo or just drunk. Then one night while he was drunk he stepped on a glass ashtray he'd dropped on the floor and ended up with an inch wide hole in his foot all the way down to the bone. My father was a great believer in self medication and wouldn't get it seen to, didn't tell me or anyone else about it and continued to physically pick at the wound.
It wasn't until I had to take him to hospital with a major stomach bug that I noticed his foot. He ended up being re-admitted a week after he left hospital (for the bug) because he had a high fever and the infection was creeping up his leg like he'd been bitten by a venemous snake! He spent 10 weeks in hospital, had 2 operations on his foot to remove infected bone and tissue and was on constant antibiotics. Even while in hospital he would continue to smoke. He was released where he went back to his old ways and 4 weeks later he was dead. He'd had a sudden heartattack that took him with such force he was found still sitting on the side of the bath (He'd been getting ready for a shower). He didn't know what hit him.
That was 4 years ago and I miss the old ****** every single day. I just wished he'd led by example as I too have diabetes. I hope you know that none of this was of you're doing. Unfortunately, just like an addict, you have to wait for the person concerned to want to get help, you can't force them. Where ever Gerard and my Dad are now they are looking down and realising what they could've done.
Best wishes
Yingal
Hi all,
This is my first visit to this forum and I wish to start by offering late condolences. It is a hard time when a close one dies.
Please remember though that being told you are diabetic is like being hit with a sledge hammer. Please dont hold it against someone who has trouble dealing with this illness.
Im sure that none of the people mentioned in this thread have done anything to deliberatly hurt their loved ones or even made a decision to ignore advice from close friends or doctors.
I was diagnosed with type 1 when I was 21 years old and was 5 years into a career as a vehicle mechanic in the british army. Within a few months I had lost my job, my Hgv driving licence and found out that I was more likely to have heart attacks, Strokes, Kidney failure, the list as you all know goes on and on and on.
As you can imagine this really changed my outlook on life, the universe and everything.
I was physically fit at the time and did not get ill much but noticed that i was thirsty all the time and peeing way to much. Half of me guessed what was wrong but it took about three months for the other half of me to accept.
It all came to head when I collapsed on a fitness test (3 mile run) and I was taken to the medical centre. They did a glucose teat and the results were scarily high.
I have had diabetes now for 21 years and in that time I have lots of different mental attitudes
from "it wont hurt me" to "I could die tommorow" and every emotion and view between the 2.
I still this far on have the occaissional need to "deny" it for a while myself.
The last few years my control has been much better than it used to be but some damage has allready been done by earlier mistakes. What has helped me come to better terms with the illness is love and support from my family and friends especially my partner "Karen".
What definately would not have helped would be any sense that people around me were, for want of a less harsh word, nagging me about levels and control and diet and drinking and living etc this list also goes on and on and on.
I am not suggesting that anyone on this forum has done that. But suggesting that as a diabetic it quite often feels that way. it can get like that when you have an illness that can be the first and last thing you think about every day of your life.
just please remember that we all make mistakes even ones that can effect ours and our loved ones lives in a very serious way and that diabeties can hurt your mind as well as your body.
Thanks for reading my humble opinion.
Pef.
This is my first visit to this forum and I wish to start by offering late condolences. It is a hard time when a close one dies.
Please remember though that being told you are diabetic is like being hit with a sledge hammer. Please dont hold it against someone who has trouble dealing with this illness.
Im sure that none of the people mentioned in this thread have done anything to deliberatly hurt their loved ones or even made a decision to ignore advice from close friends or doctors.
I was diagnosed with type 1 when I was 21 years old and was 5 years into a career as a vehicle mechanic in the british army. Within a few months I had lost my job, my Hgv driving licence and found out that I was more likely to have heart attacks, Strokes, Kidney failure, the list as you all know goes on and on and on.
As you can imagine this really changed my outlook on life, the universe and everything.
I was physically fit at the time and did not get ill much but noticed that i was thirsty all the time and peeing way to much. Half of me guessed what was wrong but it took about three months for the other half of me to accept.
It all came to head when I collapsed on a fitness test (3 mile run) and I was taken to the medical centre. They did a glucose teat and the results were scarily high.
I have had diabetes now for 21 years and in that time I have lots of different mental attitudes
from "it wont hurt me" to "I could die tommorow" and every emotion and view between the 2.
I still this far on have the occaissional need to "deny" it for a while myself.
The last few years my control has been much better than it used to be but some damage has allready been done by earlier mistakes. What has helped me come to better terms with the illness is love and support from my family and friends especially my partner "Karen".
What definately would not have helped would be any sense that people around me were, for want of a less harsh word, nagging me about levels and control and diet and drinking and living etc this list also goes on and on and on.
I am not suggesting that anyone on this forum has done that. But suggesting that as a diabetic it quite often feels that way. it can get like that when you have an illness that can be the first and last thing you think about every day of your life.
just please remember that we all make mistakes even ones that can effect ours and our loved ones lives in a very serious way and that diabeties can hurt your mind as well as your body.
Thanks for reading my humble opinion.
Pef.
oh i dont even know what to say to you. i am so very very sorry to hear your story. what a terrible thing to go through at such a young age.
i can only offer you my thoughts, and my support.
lots of love to you and the kids, and thank you for taking the time to try and help others by sharing your story. god bless you
xxx sue xxx
i can only offer you my thoughts, and my support.
lots of love to you and the kids, and thank you for taking the time to try and help others by sharing your story. god bless you
xxx sue xxx
