Does one ever get out of denial over diabetes?

[TheSparkyPony]

Another pondering over here.

I've been diabetic for 11 years, and am 18 now. It didn't help growing up with it but I still feel like it isn't a part of who I am and that if I bury my head in the sand long enough it will go away!
I've spoken to a few people who have had it 10, 20 and even 30-40 years, who agree with me in saying it's something they never got quite 'used to'.

Unfortunately this route of denial for me has let to grim situations in the past, and as I'm starting to try and work hard at it and improve my control, I'm wondering if I'll ever be in acceptance of diabetes. Don't know if it's a youth thing or something. It could be all the repercussions from my bad control - maybe everytime my neuropathy flares up it triggers another emotion of repulse, disgust and alienation of my condition.

After people's opinions really. Do you think you've accepted Diabetes as a condition? Is it just a part of your everyday life, no qualms considered?

Sorry for the low post guys, just something I've been thinking about recently! xxx

 

[sugarless sue]

Hi TSP, by starting to gain control over your diabetes you have accepted it. Acknowledging a problem is always the first step to accepting it.

It took me a few months to get my head round the fact I was diabetic but now we live side by side and I just get on with it.

It must be really difficult for a young person to be growing up with diabetes thrown in as well, good for you for getting to grips with it.

 

[DazG]

Hi there.

Im T2 so not in the same situation as you, but once I was diagnosed in March I ignored it and carried on as normal, within 3 months my leg and foot was numb, I have no idea if it was due to the diabetes, but it scared me into doing something about it, and ever since I take meds and low carb and exercise a lot more than usual.

I know Im very newly diagnosed compared to you, but my brain is currently getting fed up with it all and rebelling against my new life, at the minute I feel like stuffing my face with chocolate, and haribo sours, yet I dont even like chocolate that much, but love the haribo sours...

Its a hard life, especially when you are so young, but you are here, which means you plan to do something, and thats always a start.

I hope you manage to control and prosper.

 

[TheSparkyPony]

Thanks for the support guys

I think I'm slowly getting there, although it's a long road ahead. I've started writing a blog online, not envisioning anyone actually reading it and having some kind of diabetic epiphany (!) but it really helps to get things off my chest I'd normally keep locked up.

I don't think it helps that I'm not in contact with anyone in my age group. I feel like a lonely little soldier! Even those who are in my age range, I'm experiencing things that weren't expected for a few years yet so it's even more of a minority grouping!

DazG - I think it's my neuropathy that has actually fuelled me to make some changes. I've had peripheral for about a year now and was officially diagnosed with Gastroparesis last week and it's really made me step back and look at what I'm doing. Unfortunately the GP now makes it harder to control my sugar levels but I guess that's Karma for you!

Will keep you all updated on how I get along xxx

 

[TheSparkyPony]

I know Im very newly diagnosed compared to you, but my brain is currently getting fed up with it all and rebelling against my new life, at the minute I feel like stuffing my face with chocolate, and haribo sours, yet I dont even like chocolate that much, but love the haribo sours...

Yum, Haribo Sours! The cherries are the best, don't you think? :mrgreen:

I get like this too, in a way it must be so much harder for you because it's not like you can give yourself a bigger dose if insulin to compensate for these 'blips' of control. Forgive my naiveness, I'm not very clued up on T2!

One of my action plans for this is my 'naughty' drawer in my room. It has stuff for hypos in, along with the much needed 'extra' chocolate bar. I also have in there my 5 hospital discharge letters from previous DKAs. Now 4 out of those 5 were out of my control, but one I couldn have prevented from eating better. I see that letter in particular and shut the drawer, sans chocolate.
Perhaps a similar thing might benefit you Daz? Kind of like a weight loss motivator stuck on the fridge :lol: xxx

 

[Patch]

Sounds like you've left it to late to decide to be in denial - those are some pretty serious complications you've got there. (Easy to be in denial when you don't have any complications).

Unfortunately, some people only learn the hard way.

I really hope you get this under control - and I wish you all the luck in the world.

(Drop me a PM wth your blog in it - I'll give it a read!)

 

[totsy]

hya sparky,
ive never been in denial, but have sometimes got that fed up of it that ive felt like rebelling, luckily i havent, hope u accept things soon

 

[DazG]

The cherry ones are amazing, I might eat 1 at Christmas time :lol:

I think what keeps me motivated is the scarey stories of what can happen, my dad currently has little feeling in either feet, and he is a prime example of following the wrong advice, so I just try to stick to my safe foods and try not to cry too much over my longing for haribo sours

 

[the_anticarb]

I was in denial for many many years, diagnosed at 15 but didn't get my head out of the sand until I was 32. I got away with minimal or no control for 17 years. i'm neither type one nor type two btw, I'm a mody. That didn't help as I was not diagnosed as mody until a couple of years ago and I always knew I didn't fit in either the type 1 or the type 2 box. But I was basically in denial because I couldn't handle being a diabetic, especially as a teenager it was difficult as I did not want to be different. i was ashamed of being a diabetic (or was I just ashamed of not managing it?) so I ate what wanted, never tested and had hba1cs in the 9-12 range.

It didn't help that I was put on insulin but not really taught how to use it, although tbh I wasn't that motivated to learn, so it was a vicious circle.

Anyway I got away with minimal control all those years with no complications, in the end I wanted to be caught though as nothing would make me take my illness seioursly. Then I got retinopathy and did a total about-face by rejecting all high carb foods from my diet, to avoid hypos I stopped my novorapid which only worked if I kept my carbs very low - this did work for me (hba1c 6.5) but meant a very restrictive diet which was hard to maintain.

I was getting a bit lazy again when I fell pregnant six months ago and since then I have been very mindful of my blood sugars as I was way too high at conception (unplanned pregnancy) and the stress and worry of the first few months was not worth it. Also, because I have been testing my blood sugar so much (up to 10 times per day) this has actually taught me how to dose my novorapid properly, so I've kind of got over my fear of novorapid and am ok with carbs now, although being pregnant it is hard to manage blood sugars due to the insulin resistance from the pregnancy hormones.

Anyway for me as I had no visible negative effects from being in denial all those years, I didn't have enough motivation to stop, as soon as I could see potential problems with my a) eyes and b) unborn child this provided me with sufficient motivation to change my behaviour. Its sad that I needed so much to motivate me, when other people seem to take responsibility much more easily but hey, there you go.
I still can't believe I got away with not controlling myself for so many years and the only consequence a bit of laser, when others get worse problems and they have been much more responsible than I am but, it did catch up with me in the end.

I hope I continue to take responsibility after my baby is born but I can't say for sure that I won't go back to my old ways. One things for sure this forum has really helped me come to terms with it all

 

[candi-girl]

Hmm not sure. Have had it 9.5 years and still resent having it every waking hour of the day. :cry:

 

[TheSparkyPony]

Anyway for me as I had no visible negative effects from being in denial all those years, I didn't have enough motivation to stop, as soon as I could see potential problems with my a) eyes and b) unborn child this provided me with sufficient motivation to change my behaviour. Its sad that I needed so much to motivate me, when other people seem to take responsibility much more easily but hey, there you go.
I still can't believe I got away with not controlling myself for so many years and the only consequence a bit of laser, when others get worse problems and they have been much more responsible than I am but, it did catch up with me in the end.

This, the_anticarb, is how I feel. For most people, surely the though of complications are enough to scare most. I, however, need much more motivation to realise my consequences. Am glad to know someone else has the same emotional stance on it as I have!

Totsy - glad you have managed to control yourself well and not succumb to being a rebel!

Patch - Yes, I have pretty much left it too late. I did ignore the neuropathy when it first arrived, but now I've developed autonomic it's gotten a lot more serious for me and was the wake up call I needed.

DazG - A whole Haribo cherry at Christmas?! :shock: Mate, I'd stick to half :lol:

Candi-girl - Me too, me too. I hate it to bits, I participated in a study for young people with diabeties and one of the questions was: 'On a scale of 1-10, how much do you dislike diabetes in your life'
I put 100,000 :lol:

Thanks everyone for your input, makes for an interesting and comforting read at the same time! xxx

 

[candi-girl]

Candi-girl - Me too, me too. I hate it to bits, I participated in a study for young people with diabeties and one of the questions was: 'On a scale of 1-10, how much do you dislike diabetes in your life'
I put 100,000 :lol:

Thanks everyone for your input, makes for an interesting and comforting read at the same time! xxx

diabetes is a nightmare!

 

[Gazhay]

After people's opinions really. Do you think you've accepted Diabetes as a condition? Is it just a part of your everyday life, no qualms considered?

I always say to everyone who sympathises about my type 1, that I am extremely lucky. I had a life till the age of 30 before my type 1 came on. I can't imagine the hardship of going through teen years with it.

That said, I've never been in denial. I started carb counting after a week, DAFNE after a few months. HbA1c has always been good. I just got on with it, probably because my wife was pregnant at the time, and I didn't have time to do anything else.
Everyone I know, including many many doctors, are amazed by the way I just handled the transition. I guess I was just lucky, but the way I saw it, I had a daughter than needed a daddy so it's my job to be there for her.

I hope you can make peace with it.